Unanswered Friend Requests

rml_16

You might want to remove the note in your profile about how you want to lose weight so that you can have better sex. That's the only thing in your profile that would make me go "ick" because it's TMI.

I see nothing wrong with that line, it is very common on profiles here.

I have never seen that in a profile. It would turn me off. I don't care about anyone's sex life unless it directly involves me and even then, it's private and personal.

delicious_cocktail

I will not be wearing pants during our cuddle. I trust this is acceptable.

Mandatory!

Game of Bones.

AllOutof_Bubblegum

I don't respond to friend requests I'm not interested. in. I wasn't aware some people required a response...?

What would be an appropriate way to respond when declining in your opinion, OP? There is a message option when requesting to be friends, but not one when you click the decline button. Do you want people to send you a full message, taking the time to explain why they chose not to accept? I know if I did that, I'd be spending half the day on MFP, typing out explanations I don't feel I owe to anyone in the first place.

Loosen up a little, OP. Don't take it personally, and nobody is required to validate their decisions to you. It would kinda be like going around at a bus stop, demanding why anyone you strike up a conversation with doesn't want to continue the conversation and swap phone numbers.

When a FR of mine is ignored, I know the site doesn't revolve around me, and I figure they have some reason as to why I don't fit. And then I move along with my life. :flowerforyou:

Galatea_Stone

OP, the best way I've seen to make friends on here is to be more active in the forums and look for people who have a lot in common with you. They're out there. You can browse groups, go into topics that interest you and comment, and be open and honest about yourself. If someone doesn't accept you for you, do you really want them on your friends list?

I have whittled my list down and it has helped me interact with people who I care about and who seem to care about me. A small list isn't necessarily a bad thing. You get more time to interact with the people you like that way.

For what it is worth, it took me 2 years to find the people on here that I would call friends. Take your time in picking people.

ValGogo

You have to understand that there are a lot of people out there who ask for something when they are really after something else. People form opinion about people and you become victim of something other people are doing.

This is awesome!

ValGogo

I only decline friend requests if the person is creepy, like, "I like your photos" or leaves them blank.

In your friend requests, keep the message short and indicative of why you want to connect. "Hey looking to add fellow cycling enthusiasts" will get you more adds than, "Hello, I saw you on the thread about cycling and I to have been cycling for 47 years and I love how much it lets you come together with nature and my daughter once told me that she wanted her daddy to get in shape but I haven't taken it seriously until now when I had 8 heart attacks and lost a leg.." YES I have gotten friend requests that overshare.

You might want to remove the note in your profile about how you want to lose weight so that you can have better sex. That's the only thing in your profile that would make me go "ick" because it's TMI.

I agree with this post.

gypsy_spirit

Make sure you check the person's profile before you request. I'm not currently adding people because my list has gotten quite large and I like to be able to keep up with everyone. It's probably nothing personal.

This...It's hard to keep up with 153 people. I want to interact with everyone. It's nothing personal to anyone I don't accept or end up deleting.

Also, must have personality and snark. And not mind the F bomb.

Also, no whiners.

All of this, but especially the no whiner part. Because.

castlerobber

I don't friend people on Facebook whom I don't already know outside social media. My rule of thumb is that if we saw each other out in public--church, work, the kids' school, Wallyworld--and neither of us cared enough to stop and visit for a minute or two, I don't friend you.

I don't friend anyone on MFP, period. Nothing to do with lifestyle choices, gender, surgical choice, etc. I didn't come to MFP to make "friends". I'm here to log food, and occasionally read the forums for entertainment.

blueboxgeek

Hmmm, strange!

I accept all friend requests but do tend to go through my list and delete people who are unactive long term. And if they post things that make me think we wouldn't be friends in real life. I guess I give everyone a chance first!

Most of my friends are fellow Whovians or Geeks who have picked up on my username or I generally have a pic of the 10th doctor as my avatar. So they pretty much all rock.

EvgeniZyntx

I follow the Pareto Law of friend requests. 20% of people are going to be the interesting one bringing value, but since you can't a priori identify the 20/80 split - I accept everyone.

If we interact and add value to each other, great, if we are passing ships - ok, c'est la vie!

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I will not be wearing pants during our cuddle. I trust this is acceptable.

Mandatory!

Game of Bones.

But I don't have a sword.

*kicks rocks*

JoelleAnn78

Make sure you check the person's profile before you request. I'm not currently adding people because my list has gotten quite large and I like to be able to keep up with everyone. It's probably nothing personal.

^^ This. I'm not adding any friends because I'm an antisocial jerk. The good part of that is I don't hate anyone for being gay or having weight loss surgery or anything else. I hate everyone equally for no good reason.

MireyGal76

I sent out a few friend requests and never got a reply. I even included a note about why I was making the request. I guess I've always thought I could never have enough "real" friends. It makes me wonder why my request was ignored. I think there might be two reasons....first, I'm a gay guy....second, I've had Weight Loss surgery. Maybe these are the reasons?

This is a sore spot for me. I don't live on here, and have a lot of friends. Not because I'm a collector, but because I hate rejecting anyone.

That said, I've had to start rejecting requests because I have so many amazing people on my list that I am now unable to be a good friend to.

If I get a request with no message or no profile pic, or the pic is locked down, then I decline without too much angst. (I still have some though)

If I get a request with a message that is sincere, I struggle. I keep it in my list, I look at their profile, I check to see if I have anyone I can clear off my FL that has deactivated, and worst case, I will just keep it in my notifications.

I have been known to add someone later.

I do not like rejecting people. I really don't, but I also don't have a lot of time to send a message.. and I have NO IDEA what to say! Do I say, no, you can't be my friend because of reason x? I hate that.

So I say nothing, and either keep the request, or hit decline.

99.9% of the time, it is nothing personal. the other 0.01% is cuz the person was coming off as a body collector.

_Zardoz_

Any potential friends for me need to pass a psychometric test, if they pass that they then need to provide copies of passports, bloodtests, finger prints and provide copies of their school reports. Then it's on to an interview panel and a juggling skills test.

verptwerp

OP, I don't care who anyone sleeps with as long as it's not kids or animals ........ and how you lost weight is your choice, congrats on your accomplishments !

My friends' list is small & fairly quiet, just normal everyday stuff ....... you can add me if you'd like .......

Best of luck to you :drinker:

gypsy_spirit

Any potential friends for me need to pass a psychometric test, if they pass that they then need to provide copies of passports, bloodtests, finger prints and provide copies of their school reports. Then it's on to an interview panel and a juggling skills test.

I must have been grandfathered in.

spade117

99.9% of the time, it is nothing personal. the other 0.01% is cuz the person was coming off as a body collector.

You are collectable.

crystal48640

I had wls. And, I love everyone . Reason I don't add people would be I do not know them.

JoelleAnn78

I'm not going to take the time to critique someone if I don't add them. It's nothing personal, it may just be that I don't see that we have anything in common. I'm also not going to tell you why I'm deleting you as a friend. What, so we can fight about it? Nobody likes "I don't like you because..." conversations. Again, it's probably nothing personal. I usually only delete people that don't log in consistently, don't ever interact with their FL, or start falling off the deep end and posting weird (not weird like, they need friends/professional help; weird as in "omg my [insert insane cleanse here] is going soooooooooo well!") crap. Again. Probably not anything personal, I just want to interact with the people on my FL that inspire me and that I have a good time with.

TL;DR: No, I am not going to tell you why I didn't add you or deleted you. I don't have time for that and it's not my job.

I'm so glad you added me

MireyGal76

99.9% of the time, it is nothing personal. the other 0.01% is cuz the person was coming off as a body collector.

You are collectable.

Thank you, I think.

:flowerforyou:

deksgrl

bciloveme2014

I sent out a few friend requests and never got a reply. I even included a note about why I was making the request. I guess I've always thought I could never have enough "real" friends. It makes me wonder why my request was ignored. I think there might be two reasons....first, I'm a gay guy....second, I've had Weight Loss surgery. Maybe these are the reasons?

Maybe you are not sending to the right people. I have had surgery and have friends, and I do not think your lifestyle choices would make a difference, at least with me. So, I think you are just asking the wrong people.

^ this, send me a friend request and I'll accept you.

Bernadette60614

I would have no idea from your photo that you've had gastric bypass or that you are gay.

However, I probably wouldn't accept because I'm looking for women who have challenges similar to my own and are approaching them the same way.

I'm over 50, in that menopausal range, and I'm a vegan.

SteampunkSongbird

We all float down here.

I freaking love you.

I accept all friend requests but do tend to go through my list and delete people who are unactive long term. And if they post things that make me think we wouldn't be friends in real life. I guess I give everyone a chance first!

This is pretty much my process too. I'll add almost anyone, but I'll remove them later for one of three reasons;

a) if they post anything that seriously clashes with my views/sensibilities, i.e. homophobic or racist comments, superiority-based God-talk, general nasty remarks about people etc.,
b) if they creep on me, especially when they already know I have a partner,
c) if they are very inactive/barely logging on, or I feel their eating is willingly irresponsible.

FifiLaPhue

Actually, I only use this site to log my calories and exercise. I have only one friend and we are quite happy together..we barely speak, but I am still glad to see his weight loss successes. So don't be afraid to be lonely...less is more sometimes.

futuresize8

Aren't I friend enough?

niftyafterfifty

It might be that they simply don't want more friends; it's time consuming to really be supportive of a large group of friends. I don't accept new friends at this time unless they're a friend of a friend - and not always then.

Oi_Sunshine

If there is a note and it's more than "hi." I normally accept. If the person and I have something in common or share the same humour, it tends to help.

"Hey, I got your lame joke and movie reference in the {insert topic} thread", etc.
Or they continue said lame joke/quote same movie...

And no pro-ana, cleanse junkies, selling/obsessed with mlm products designed to make your wallet lose weight.

SCV34

Is there a reason you want more friends than what you already have?

I know that doesn't really answer your question, but I am curious about your wanting more friends.

Quit frankly it doesn't matter to me if someone includes a message or not, I will accept either way.

djeffreys10