Make my roommate get a life!

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kaaaaylee
kaaaaylee Posts: 398
in Chit-Chat
Hey this is totally not weight loss or fitness related.

I'm 24 and lived away at college and had an apartment prior to this one. My roommate just moved out of his parent's house and commuted to college. He doesn't have many friends, and almost no hobbies.

How can I nicely tell him to get a life so I can have the living room sometimes? When I bring friends over he assumes he should be there and involved. We are friends, but not to the point that he needs to always be around my friends and I.

Advice?
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Replies

  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    Just break up.
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
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    He sounds like an introvert. As an introvert who also struggled through college, involve that poor guy in your activities and stop treating him like an outcast. Maybe get to know him better - you might find yourself with an additional friend.
  • RINat612
    RINat612 Posts: 251 Member
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    The roommate is male... and your a female...

    :huh:
  • ksy1969
    ksy1969 Posts: 700 Member
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    The roommate is male... and your a female...

    :huh:

    Yep!! Times have definitely changed. 20 years ago if a female needed a room mate they advertised for a female room mate. I know a lot of dads out there that would have a fit if they found their daughter had a male room mate. Even adult, 24 year old, daughter.
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
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    If u want alone time with your friends don't bring them back to your place. Or tell him before hand if he wouldn't mind making himself scarce for a few hours. If you go about it the right way it shouldn't be a problem
  • triciabh1
    triciabh1 Posts: 126 Member
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    I'm thinking you're just going to have to confront him and tell him what you want. I'm an introvert also and if I was paying half the rent I would expect to be able to use the living room whenever I need. If you plan on having friends over just tell him in a friendly way that you need your private girl time and to see if he could give you the space for awhile.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    You need to find a new roommate. You two are not compatible.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    The roommate is male... and your a female...

    :huh:

    God only knows what they were up to in there, and furthermore Susan I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them habitually smoked marijuana cigarettes..... reefers
  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
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    Tell him this....
    Roomate,

    Get a life so I can have the living room sometimes. When I bring friends over you assume you should be there and involved. We are friends, but not to the point that you needs to always be around my friends and I.

    Thank you for your understanding. Now whats for dinner?
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    If you don't want to share your friends or your living room with your roomate, then you should probably not have a roomate.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Oh, and just to be clear, you arent friends. You merely tolerate him as a bill payer.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    As an introvert I understand completely how he feels. Sounds like you two are not a good fit as roommates. I would normally advise you to just talk to him about a schedule that allows you each to use the space alone at different times, but in your case you just need a different roommate.
  • Tomm88
    Tomm88 Posts: 733 Member
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    When i lived with my roommate last year she would have her friends over alot.... the thing is though sitting around with girls having girl time and talking girl stuff doesnt really seem like much of a fun evening for a dude:/ when my roommate had her friends over i was in the gym most of the time anyway and when i had guy freinds over she just stayed in her half of the house and let me have the living room. Problem solved.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    As an introvert I understand completely how he feels. Sounds like you two are not a good fit as roommates. I would normally advise you to just talk to him about a schedule that allows you each to use the space alone at different times, but in your case you just need a different roommate.

    A different roommate or to live alone. OP needs a close female friend to live with her.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    If you don't want to share your friends or your living room with your roomate, then you should probably not have a roomate.

    This...

    My roommate is a bit of an introvert and somewhat depressed. She spends most of her time in her room. We do talk and hang out sometimes, but I would never tell her she should get a life, or that she should maybe get out of the house. It's not my place.

    I understand that you sometimes want to use the living room too, but I'm gonna guess he's paying half the bills, he has as much right to the living room as you do. You can't make someone who is introverted into an extrovert.

    I second, just break up. Or in this case, find a new roommate.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,931 Member
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    If you don't want to share your friends or your living room with your roomate, then you should probably not have a roomate.

    YEP!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    When i lived with my roommate last year she would have her friends over alot.... the thing is though sitting around with girls having girl time and talking girl stuff doesnt really seem like much of a fun evening for a dude:/ when my roommate had her friends over i was in the gym most of the time anyway and when i had guy freinds over she just stayed in her half of the house and let me have the living room. Problem solved.

    It is different for an introverted guy with few friends.
  • MeganAnne89
    MeganAnne89 Posts: 271 Member
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    I'm thinking you're just going to have to confront him and tell him what you want. I'm an introvert also and if I was paying half the rent I would expect to be able to use the living room whenever I need. If you plan on having friends over just tell him in a friendly way that you need your private girl time and to see if he could give you the space for awhile.

    I agree with this.

    And to be honest, the subject line actually bothers me. Your roommate does have a life and he chooses to spend his time at home. What's so wrong with that? Just because he's probably not as outgoing as you are, that doesn't mean something is wrong with him. He's just a homebody.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    If u want alone time with your friends don't bring them back to your place.

    This.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    I hope your roommate finds a better roommate

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