How did you know you were marrying the right person?

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I didn't. I made an educated guess after I was sure I knew myself well enough.

cwolfman13

I dated my wife for 5 years before we married...we were both 30 when we took the plunge. We both had experienced a lot and both felt ready and both felt that we were for each other. Of course, there was still trepidation...and there are never any guarantees, even with vows taken and whatnot.

After we married we decided we would wait to have kids as well...we really wanted to enjoy each other as husband and wife for awhile before becoming mommy and daddy and truth be told, it was a bit of an intentional "cooling off" period...honey moon is over, let's see how we fare kind of deal.

We waited another 5 years into our marriage before becoming parents...at that point we had been together for 10 years so we figure our chances are pretty good here. I love her to pieces...we're going on 9 years married in August and 14 years together in all.

Marriage certainly has many challenges and having children exacerbates those challenges. For many I suppose, the effort just isn't worth it...for me, it is and always will be.

jnichel

Wtf does this have to do with weight loss?

Boobs. It always comes back to boobs.

salladeve

I personally don't think there is a "right" person.

Lofteren

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This is me choking her because she didn't make my sammich.

I lived with my wife for 5 years before we got married. This wasn't due to lack of commitment or anything, it was really because she had an ex-husband that disappeared and it took her 5 years to finally get the divorce finalized. After living with someone for 5 years you pretty much know whether or not it's going to work out.

usmc01462

when her parents ran out of the back of the church yelling sucks to be you...YUP

kinkyslinky16

I knew my husband was the right one because we've been best friends for 8 years, we still talk EVERY lunch break, we play games together, we have similar humor, we only need each other for a social life...yea...we are the bestest of buds still. It still makes me happy when he calls me for his entire lunch break just to hang out and talk about randomness.

Marry your best friend.

My husband and I are the same way. We talk 24/7. If not on the phone, then by text. Even when he left the doctor's office today, and it is literally 5 minutes from our house, he still called me to talk. We laugh about the same morbid, not-funny-to-most jokes, etc. Like just yesterday he made a joke about how I can easily find a girlfriend out of a group of girls because one was crying so that makes her an easy target. I thought that was hilarious. Or yesterday we were in a restaurant and he wanted to know why I didn't let him know about the health bomb behind him... "you know, the table whose combined age is 2000." We are both health professionals so we don't want to be in a situation in which someone may croak. Funny to me, not to all. Oh, and we will be married 5 years in December and together 6.

FrozenSongBird

Im getting a divorce soooooo ..... apparantly I didn't marry the right person LOL

BusyRaeNOTBusty

To be honest it kinda blows my mind that people could get married. Idk I just cant imagine myself thinking, "This is the person i want to spend the rest of my life with." Wouldn't you get bored seeing the same person everyday? How are you so sure that person is the one? What does it feel like? It just seems very scary to me.

So don't get married. You don't have to. And you haven't ever thought that because you haven't met anyone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Actually, you may not. That's okay.

And no, I don't get bored with the same person every day. My life involves much more than that person. He's not there to keep me entertained and fulfilled. He's there to be my partner through life. He just experiences life with me and that's awesome. I don't think there's just one person out there for each person and we are destined to meet or anything. You just have to find someone you love and can get along with and yeah, then you think, sure, pretty sure I can spend the rest of my life with this person. Of course you are never 100% sure but you make a commitment to try as hard as you can to make it work forever and sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't.

But yes, getting to know someone for a decent period of time is a good idea. 5 years really isn't that long once you past 25 years old.

I've been with my husband for 12 years and most of the time we still get along really well. We are happy, great friends, have 3 great kids. We still have a lot of fun together, have awesome sex, laugh, flirt, have adventures. We also support each other when times are bad, when a loved one passes or when there major stress at work. We support each others goals, dreams, hobbies, etc.

AllOutof_Bubblegum

It just seems very scary to me.

It always is, to people who aren't emotionally mature and ready for that type of commitment.

I knew because he was the one person I couldn't get over, in the 15 years we'd known each other. When I imagined myself being married, It was always him I pictured myself standing next to, even when we were dating other people. He was the one that kept coming back, like a boomerang.

33Freya

by the time you go to marry someone, you believe that you are with the right person- that's how you know, haha! Hindsight says that you never really know...

BinaryPulsar

Some of you guys make me think I could never get married. I also don't know if I can dedicate someone 5 years min of my life to see if they are "the one".

If you weren't enjoying it, then you wouldn't do it. We never set out with that intention. We just enjoyed it.

AmandaLY17

I dont believe there is a 'right person'. Life has easy bits and hard bits. This is true if you are young, old, married, divorced, single, its complicated. You like a person, you date a person, spend some time with them and make the call based on: gut feeling, friends/family advice, personal value system and compatibility. Sometimes marriage is really hard work. Sometimes it isnt/doesnt feel worth it. Sometimes its giddy and easy and oh so right. Overall, if your value system says that being commited to someone else is worth the effort you get married to the person you feel is right, otherwise dont.

And as a ps. arranged marriages can work and work well which lends to my opinion of there isnt a right person. I believe most people could be the right person. I dont believe in soul matches either.

Ldbg289

Well, I haven't found the right one yet but luckily my ex and I figured this out before we got married .

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Do you guys have offshore accounts or secret assets?

:huh: No. Are you implying a need to hide money from your spouse?

Shalaurise

Marriage #1 - complete failure. Turned out that I married a sociopath. I was afraid to leave. What if no one else ever wanted me? What if life would get worse? Bah, bad choice for sure.

Marriage #2 - Total success (from my perspective) I learned a lot about myself between marriage #1 and #2. Getting bored is an issue for me. I have interests that my hubbs doesn't and he has interests that I don't. As such we are happily married in an open relationship, thus allowing us to find what we feel we need without burdening the other. Good communication has been key and so far other than the fact that I have holly terrors.. I mean kids, we have very few rough spots in our relationship. The parenting is the hardest part.