Kids say the darndest things...
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I'm beginning to think mine are too serious. . . then again, I don't see them but a few hours a month, so0
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My dad still talks about when I was 6...
....we were in the grocery store together and I pointed at a man who had dwarfism and shouted, "Daddy! Look! It's an Oompa Loompa!"0 -
My sister-in-law was at Walmart with her 3yr old daughter and she farted - then realized she had crapped herself.
She went quickly to the restroom and into the largest stall to clean up.
Her 3yr says "um, mooom! Did you poops your pants?"
She responds, "no, I didn't"
"Yes, you did mom! I can see it right there. You poops in your panties!" (getting louder)
"Shhh, no, shhh"
"Yea huh mom! You poops your pants mom! And I thought you were a big girl what didn't poops your panties."
My sis-in-law says she camped out in that stall a solid twenty minutes to be absolutely sure anyone who had heard was gone.
Thinking about all the awful things she would do to me if she knew I posted this on the internet makes it even funnier.
Okay, 'nother one.
My daughter and I were headed to visit some of my family. She was 4 at the time.
We were on the Interstate 15 and came up on an accident! We were parked about 10 minutes, waiting for traffic to move again, when my daughter says "mom, what was the name of this road again?"
"I-15 freeway"
"Freeway?! No, its not! We aren't free to go anywhere. This is the I-15 parking lot!"
When my daughter was 3 - she was sitting at the table waiting for dinner as I was setting it.
She asks "mom, why does our nose make boogers?"
I did my best to explain it in a way she could understand.
She says "no, that's not why I wanted to know. I wanted to know why so I can make it stop. I am sick of picking them out."
Again, when my daughter was 3 - husband takes her camping and while on that trip teaches her and encourages her to pee outside.
About 20 minutes after they return home, I can't find her. After looking a bit, we find her outside - peeing on my flowers.
I ask her what she is doing and she replies "daddy says it feeds the plants. Want to come help me feed our pretty flowers."
.... Uh, no. I do not! lol0 -
I was telling my 13 year old how to get to her dads, she looks me dead in the eye and says "I dont speak map". I lost it.
Bahahaha, this reminds me of a non-child related 'darnedest thing'.
In Prague with my partner and he asks the woman in tourist info for a map, she replied 'English?' and so he slowly repeated 'maaaaaap' at her. I was like, 'yes, an english map please'. Never let him live it down.
Okay, not kid related but this just reminded me ...
I was at work one day and asked my Hispanic coworker...
"what does porqué mean?"
"Why"
"Well, because I just heard it and am wondering what it means."
"Why"
"Ummm, because I am just curious, I guess"
"Why"
"Okay, never mind"
"No - it is why! Porqué means why!"0 -
A friend in a neighboring Congregation had a son the was acting up during the worship service. The mom warned him several times to quiet down or she'd take him out back and give him a spanking. The boy continued defiant so the mom picked him up and proceeded to walk out. As she walked up the long aisle the young boy cried out "Jesus Save Me!" the entire congregation broke into laughter. :laugh:0
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I heard from the neighboring stall at a public restroom recently "mommy why are you bleeding? Are you ok?"...VERY LOUDLY. Facepalmed for her :blushing:
this reminds me of my younger sister - catching me on the toilet asking why I was still wearing nappies?
she was barely 6 I was 12!0 -
Two more things I found adorably funny: The family was taking a country drive when the weather got yucky and we pulled over to the side of the road. My 3 year old stuck his arm out the window and said "Mom what is this?" I replied "It's hail" and he responded in a southern twang "Well, it hurts like hail"
My 2 year old: we were driving down a highway when my son pointed to those Big Yellow Arches and cried out "De-lard-o's" of course he meant McDonald's but I felt the name he attached to the arches was far more appropriate. We have called it De-lard-o's ever since.0 -
This is not something a kid *said* it was something he *did*
2 yr old boy, toilet training so quite often went about the house with no trousers on. He has a tablet computer... and one time his mum found him using his penis like a finger to operate the touch screen LOL0 -
I was telling my 13 year old how to get to her dads, she looks me dead in the eye and says "I dont speak map". I lost it.
Bahahaha, this reminds me of a non-child related 'darnedest thing'.
In Prague with my partner and he asks the woman in tourist info for a map, she replied 'English?' and so he slowly repeated 'maaaaaap' at her. I was like, 'yes, an english map please'. Never let him live it down.
Okay, not kid related but this just reminded me ...
I was at work one day and asked my Hispanic coworker...
"what does porqué mean?"
"Why"
"Well, because I just heard it and am wondering what it means."
"Why"
"Ummm, because I am just curious, I guess"
"Why"
"Okay, never mind"
"No - it is why! Porqué means why!"
another non-kid one.
I can speak a little Arabic, and one time I said "ma b'aarif" to this guy who's friends with my husband who also knows a little Arabic... but turns out he didn't know that phrase:
me: ma b'aarif
him: what does that mean?
me: I dunno
him: why did you say it if you don't know what it means?
me: it means "I dunno"0 -
Fair warning my kids are odd...
- conversation between my 2 daughters when they were 6&3...
6 yo: you don't know anything your little
3 yo: *snaps fingers while she whistles* then walks away.
I lost it laughing, my oldest had the hardest time learning those two things and at the time could not do them
6 yo: mom, that was NOT funny!!!
- When my youngest was 3 she had a habit of walking in on daddy in the bathroom.
3 yo: She walks in on him peeing and asks "what's that?"
Husband: its my penis, it's a boys pee-pee
3 yo: OK
The next day she walks in again....
3 yo: you have 2!!!!!
Husband: totally confused, looks down and realizes she most likely means his testicles..... He responds "no those are my balls", because of the shock he did not use a better term.
For months she then proudly announced to EVERYONE that her daddy had a penis and balls. My husband was mortified.
- When my oldest was in kindergarten she spoke about this one little boy nonstop, at a school party I met his mom and said " oh, your Ricky's mom...I have heard a lot about him" suddenly the mom looks at me and says " thank god, I was worried he was insane because all I hear about is your daughter".
- When my youngest was little she pointed with her middle finger she also said number one with her middle finger....
Out to eat at a family restaurant, the server when collecting the check asked if my daughter wanted an Ande's mint or Oreo. My husband and I notice the mortified look on the servers face and turn towards our daughter. We then realize she is trying to say "the first one" by having her middle finger sticking straight up at the waitress.
- When my father passed away my youngest was 4. When the priest was performing the service....she kept getting very confused and upset, and stood up multiple times asking " mommy, how does he know my name? I don't know him" . The priest was speaking of faith and my daughter's name is Faith.
- When my grandmother was hospitalized I brought my oldest daughter to see her. She was 6. While in the elevator with 2 nurses, one of the nurses look at my daughter and ask " do you want to be a nurse when you grow up" my daughter responded " No, I would be the doctor but I want to be a marine biologist ". The nurse's faces were shocked, I apologized and off we went.
- My oldest has always been blunt but very friendly. When she was 3 we were in line at a store. She waved to the woman behind us, and the woman rolled her eyes. My daughter then loudly asked me " Mom, why are some people just rude?"
- We live in a very culturally diverse neighborhood, one day my youngest and her best friend (African american) were walking. A little boy shouted at my daughter "I don't like white people" her best friend shouted back "I don't like black people". As they walked my daughter laughed and said "how can you say that, you are black" her friend responded " it sounded right and I don't like people like that". When they told me the story I just had to laugh, at least they handled the ignorance.
Sorry for all the examples, I could probably go on. My oldest is blunt but my youngest is a smartass, so between them; they are always saying something.0 -
When we bought a leather sofa, my son asked where leather came from. I told him it was from the skin of a cow. He said "Well, where's the nose then??)
He also thought a wood-pigeon was made of wood...0 -
Have to share - this happened today...
My brother asked my daughter what she wants to be when she grows up. (My daughter is 8)
She says, "Well, I really want to be a writer and want to write children's books. I also want to draw the pictures. Mom says this is called and author and illustrator. So, that is what I want to be - an author and illustrator of children's books. But, dad says it can take a long time before you make money doing that and since I don't want to have money problems I am going to do what dad says and have another plan. So, I also kind of want to be a teacher. I am going to teach art to children, I think this will help me for ideas on art for the books too.... I think that's all."
My brother was blown away and says, "holy cow. You have it all figured out."
She says, "not like you."
"What does that mean?"
"You still haven't figured it out. Don't worry though, some people just take longer."
... My brother has a different job every month and gets fired more often than not, sleeps on his ex's couch and doesn't have a life.0 -
Have to share - this happened today...
My brother asked my daughter what she wants to be when she grows up. (My daughter is 8)
She says, "Well, I really want to be a writer and want to write children's books. I also want to draw the pictures. Mom says this is called and author and illustrator. So, that is what I want to be - an author and illustrator of children's books. But, dad says it can take a long time before you make money doing that and since I don't want to have money problems I am going to do what dad says and have another plan. So, I also kind of want to be a teacher. I am going to teach art to children, I think this will help me for ideas on art for the books too.... I think that's all."
My brother was blown away and says, "holy cow. You have it all figured out."
She says, "not like you."
"What does that mean?"
"You still haven't figured it out. Don't worry though, some people just take longer."
... My brother has a different job every month and gets fired more often than not, sleeps on his ex's couch and doesn't have a life.
Bahahahahaha! I love the "Don't worry though, some people just take longer" part.0 -
Oh yes....because teaching art to children makes you lots of money....lol
Somebody talk some sense into that little girl. I should have stuck with wanting to be a garbage man.....I loved my Oscar the Grouch toy as a child. FYI everyone....garbage men make more than teachers.0 -
I used to be a nanny for a 3 year old girl and on my first day, she asked me to wipe her "peacock"……0
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