How can someone get to 538lbs?

caesar164

Wow! Your story is really inspiring! And you look great! I know your still over 350, but you hold it well, you look more like an nfl offensive linemen... What I really wanted to ask you was, can you change it bro? What am I talking about? That loveless home you grew up in, change this loveless trend! Walk up to your father and give him and your mother a big kiss in the lips, and a strong hug! Tell them there is going to be a lot more of that from now on! They owe you years of I love yous, and your now there to collect all the back hugs, kisses and I love you'd that they owe you!!! Do it man! Change them, do it for the love of your niece!
You have to, I couldn't count how many hugs and kisses and I love you's I grew up with, because its in the millions! Get yours back!

lukewind

Wow! Your story is really inspiring! And you look great! I know your still over 350, but you hold it well, you look more like an nfl offensive linemen... What I really wanted to ask you was, can you change it bro? What am I talking about? That loveless home you grew up in, change this loveless trend! Walk up to your father and give him and your mother a big kiss in the lips, and a strong hug! Tell them there is going to be a lot more of that from now on! They owe you years of I love yous, and your now there to collect all the back hugs, kisses and I love you'd that they owe you!!! Do it man! Change them, do it for the love of your niece!
You have to, I couldn't count how many hugs and kisses and I love you's I grew up with, because its in the millions! Get yours back!

Thanks for the kind words man, I would love to try and change it but people my parents age are pretty set in there ways, and I have tried over the years. They have gotten better since the grandchildren have come along. They are very affectionate with them, which should make me mad some would think since they were not with me, but I am just happy they have opened up to someone. I have come to live with it they way it is, and if I ever manage to have a family of my own I will not continue it.

caesar164

Well as long as you change that trend when you have your own family! Hopefully, your parents will at least witness that love and affection when that time comes. I say, still try and be affectionate with them even if Its not returned. I could see this more with a father, but mom's are usually affectionate and nurturing, from what I have seen anyway. Its very odd to me Anyway bro, stay on that path of self improvement, just love yourself, love yourself lot!

brenn24179

You cant change your parents, that is for sure. My parents are more nurturing with their grandchildren also, strange. Maybe we reminded them of someone they didn't like, who knows? I found me caring friends and a caring husband and went on with my life. I hope you find people who deserve you and you don't have to change. It is hard for people to understand that had caring parents, you have to live it. Glad we are not little any more and can make good choices for our life They hurt us and we kept hurting ourselves by doing all this destructive overeating, now it is time to be good to ourselves. I guess we would cope any way we could when we were small but now we have choices. I don't know about you but when I tried to talk to my parents they said oh you want to be babied don't you? or just a stare like what in the world are you talking about. Any way it made me feel worse, like talking to a brick wall. I guess we were not suppose to have any needs.

cebreisch

Gotta say it. You ROCK! That, and I think our parents were related! LOL

So sorry for your loss with your niece. Losing someone that little and especially after what was to be a minor surgery is SUPER hard.

Very glad I read your post. I got up to 376, and I'm not sure what got me to "stop" there before doing something. I was on my way to where you were.

Can't wait to see you when you get to goal!! I know you're going to get there!!

Miss_1999

A HUGE congrats on your weight loss and start of a new life! Don't beat yourself up, or feel as if you wasted your 20's and part of your 30's-- that was all part of your journey to get you where you are today. Absolutely nothing is wasted that teaches us what we need to learn. I've gained so much freedom and peach from realizing that, and letting go of the past. I no longer beat myself up for what I feel was "wasted time" or not doing things I felt I should've. I've learned from my mistakes. I'm doing my best to make better choices in life, all around. I'm not always successful, but I do the best I can, and I'm trying.You're making HUGE progress, and you aren't where you were then, or where you were yesterday! Keep up the good work, you've got a great future ahead of you!

harmar21

Hey man, great story, and to all honestly, I am almost same situation as you were. I have wasted my late teens and all of my twenties. TO other people they think I didn't because I own a car, bought a house, but that is just materialistic. I am missing the thing that matters most -- someone to care about.
I have been fat my entire life, even as a kid. I don't even know what my weight is because the only scale I have says error (350 lb capacity) but I would ballpark it at 375 give or take 10 lbs (I have a new scale on order from amazon with 400lb capacity. (if this one errors because I am heavier than even that I will be extremely devastated).
Anyways, growing up seems somewhat like yours (but not quite to your extreme) my mother was loving, but was always busy and never could do anything with me. I grew up without needs or barely even wants, I know deep down my dad is caring but like your parents, I don't think I ever once heard him say "I love you", he would never play with me, was always busy working.

I lived out on a farm far away from anybody, so during school was awful because all the other kids would get together after school and play road hockey, or basketball, or just hang out. and I really wanted to join them but never could because I always had to make the bus as my parents were too busy and didn't have time to pick me up from friends. If I ever missed the bus I was heavily punished. So eventually I basically became anti-social (and still am to this day). So to fill my loneness I spent all my time playing video games. School days I would be on my computer 5 hours a night, weekends/summer I would be on it 12+hours a day.
I don't want to make it sound like I blame my parents.. I don't. My sister grew up same as me and is extremely fit and extremely social. It is only my fault, it just didn't make it any easier.

I have never been at the stage of contemplating suicide but sometimes the thought does go through my head on how easy it would be, but I really wouldn't evenhave the... err.. courage? to do so. I can easily see how others that are in a similar position that I am in (and you were in) would. I
Thing is I want to be social but I am too embarrassed with myself that I won't allow myself to be social, I am always wondering what people think of me. So I only have 2 friends in RL (not great friends, just friends) with most of my "friends" being virtual (video games) since I am anonymous and they cant see me. I have great time with them online, but it is online only.Sometimes someone thinks we should meet up but I always put it off because I would be scared I would lose an online friend if they knew what I looked like
Whenever I see a picture that I am in I just feel devastated and realize this is how every other person sees me. So the loneliness and the food feed off of each other. It's a catch-22 I don't meet new people because I am extremely fat, but I eat because I am lonely.
I am 30, and I realize that no one is going to get me to a decent weight except for me. Of course I knew this all along I just kept trying to ignore it... I have been a procrastinator all my life so I just keep putting off losing weight for later, all in the meantime downing a large pizza in one sitting followed by a bowl of ice cream and pop.
I don't exercise because I am too embaressed. I absolutely love swimming, but haven't swam in over 8 years because I am way too embarrassed to take my shirt off. I mean I could go to a beach where no one would know me and I would never see them again so it shouldn't matter... I know it is just psychological, but I just can't do it.

I just started the atkins diet 2 days ago. I hope I will have a success story like yours some day in the next few years. I have tried things in the past but always failed... mainly because I lived with my parents where my mother was an amazing cook... with a bunch of starches and awesome home made desserts. I would never tell anyone when I was trying to lose weight so my mom didnt know, reason I didn't because I would be too embarrassed if I failed. I don't like seeking help in life , always want to just do things on my own. I haven't even seen my doctor in over 15 years because I am too embarrassed. I could have diabetes for all I know and I wouldn't even know it.
This time I have told my mother that I am trying again so when she invites me over for dinner she will cook something more healthy.

I haven't really tried losing and weight since living on my own.. so this is the first time I am doing so. I really hope I can stick to it, because if I don't... I really don't know what I will do.
Anyways to wrap this up sorry if this whole post was a brain dump, and a jumbled mess, because that is exactly what it is. Just spewing thoughts in random order. It is midnight now, so for exercise I think I will go outside and try and jog 200m and hopefully no one will see me.

47Jacqueline

Unbelievable story. Huggg!

assthetik

but anyways mad respect for you Sir:drinker:

lukewind

A HUGE congrats on your weight loss and start of a new life! Don't beat yourself up, or feel as if you wasted your 20's and part of your 30's-- that was all part of your journey to get you where you are today. Absolutely nothing is wasted that teaches us what we need to learn. I've gained so much freedom and peach from realizing that, and letting go of the past. I no longer beat myself up for what I feel was "wasted time" or not doing things I felt I should've. I've learned from my mistakes. I'm doing my best to make better choices in life, all around. I'm not always successful, but I do the best I can, and I'm trying.You're making HUGE progress, and you aren't where you were then, or where you were yesterday! Keep up the good work, you've got a great future ahead of you!

Thank you very much and congrats on your loss you are doing amazing!

brenn24179

Hey man, great story, and to all honestly, I am almost same situation as you were. I have wasted my late teens and all of my twenties. TO other people they think I didn't because I own a car, bought a house, but that is just materialistic. I am missing the thing that matters most -- someone to care about.
I have been fat my entire life, even as a kid. I don't even know what my weight is because the only scale I have says error (350 lb capacity) but I would ballpark it at 375 give or take 10 lbs (I have a new scale on order from amazon with 400lb capacity. (if this one errors because I am heavier than even that I will be extremely devastated).
Anyways, growing up seems somewhat like yours (but not quite to your extreme) my mother was loving, but was always busy and never could do anything with me. I grew up without needs or barely even wants, I know deep down my dad is caring but like your parents, I don't think I ever once heard him say "I love you", he would never play with me, was always busy working.

I lived out on a farm far away from anybody, so during school was awful because all the other kids would get together after school and play road hockey, or basketball, or just hang out. and I really wanted to join them but never could because I always had to make the bus as my parents were too busy and didn't have time to pick me up from friends. If I ever missed the bus I was heavily punished. So eventually I basically became anti-social (and still am to this day). So to fill my loneness I spent all my time playing video games. School days I would be on my computer 5 hours a night, weekends/summer I would be on it 12+hours a day.
I don't want to make it sound like I blame my parents.. I don't. My sister grew up same as me and is extremely fit and extremely social. It is only my fault, it just didn't make it any easier.

I have never been at the stage of contemplating suicide but sometimes the thought does go through my head on how easy it would be, but I really wouldn't evenhave the... err.. courage? to do so. I can easily see how others that are in a similar position that I am in (and you were in) would. I
Thing is I want to be social but I am too embarrassed with myself that I won't allow myself to be social, I am always wondering what people think of me. So I only have 2 friends in RL (not great friends, just friends) with most of my "friends" being virtual (video games) since I am anonymous and they cant see me. I have great time with them online, but it is online only.Sometimes someone thinks we should meet up but I always put it off because I would be scared I would lose an online friend if they knew what I looked like
Whenever I see a picture that I am in I just feel devastated and realize this is how every other person sees me. So the loneliness and the food feed off of each other. It's a catch-22 I don't meet new people because I am extremely fat, but I eat because I am lonely.
I am 30, and I realize that no one is going to get me to a decent weight except for me. Of course I knew this all along I just kept trying to ignore it... I have been a procrastinator all my life so I just keep putting off losing weight for later, all in the meantime downing a large pizza in one sitting followed by a bowl of ice cream and pop.
I don't exercise because I am too embaressed. I absolutely love swimming, but haven't swam in over 8 years because I am way too embarrassed to take my shirt off. I mean I could go to a beach where no one would know me and I would never see them again so it shouldn't matter... I know it is just psychological, but I just can't do it.

I just started the atkins diet 2 days ago. I hope I will have a success story like yours some day in the next few years. I have tried things in the past but always failed... mainly because I lived with my parents where my mother was an amazing cook... with a bunch of starches and awesome home made desserts. I would never tell anyone when I was trying to lose weight so my mom didnt know, reason I didn't because I would be too embarrassed if I failed. I don't like seeking help in life , always want to just do things on my own. I haven't even seen my doctor in over 15 years because I am too embarrassed. I could have diabetes for all I know and I wouldn't even know it.
This time I have told my mother that I am trying again so when she invites me over for dinner she will cook something more healthy.

I haven't really tried losing and weight since living on my own.. so this is the first time I am doing so. I really hope I can stick to it, because if I don't... I really don't know what I will do.
Anyways to wrap this up sorry if this whole post was a brain dump, and a jumbled mess, because that is exactly what it is. Just spewing thoughts in random order. It is midnight now, so for exercise I think I will go outside and try and jog 200m and hopefully no one will see me.
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brenn24179

I know you will lose the weight and wont be lonely any more. It is terrible when parents are too busy for their kids and now you are an adult and you can find someone that is not too busy and has more than enough time for you!

marinabreeze

OP - thank you for sharing your story. As someone with a lot of weight to lose, it's inspiring to me. Getting to hundreds of pounds overweight tends to be a process, and so does losing it, and that includes dealing with the emotions that led to the weight gain. It's inspiring to see you share that, and how you've been able to take your life back. I wish you well on your continued journey.

SherylShug

Hi - I first joined in August, forgot about this place and recently came back. I can add one more thing. When you are pretty big, you can sometimes not notice weight gain. I signed up in August at 288 lbs and without even knowing it, I gained 17 pounds since August. Getting back on track!

2snakeswoman

Although my highest weight ever was 217, I totally got it even without the details. Some days are so bad that food seems the only pleasure, then it's the horrible cycle of eating to make yourself feel better by entertaining your taste buds with something yummy, then hating yourself, then eating to feel better .....

DanniB423

Oh my goodness. Tears galore. Thank you so much sharing this and I am so sorry for the loss of your niece.

ilovemypeekapug

Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry about your sweet niece. Best of luck as yo continue your journey.

anacd

Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story! It takes a lot of courage to put your heart out the way you did! I have no doubt you will reach your goal!

sdado1013

wow what an amazing story and such an inspiration you are. thank you for sharing.