Negative Language About Thin People
Replies
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I blame men for everything & I can't wait to be called a skinny b*tch.
Amirite or Amirite?
I blame pickles. Evil zombie cucumbers!
This has to be some sort of shamming, and once I figure it out, I will expose you for the hater that you are!0 -
I blame men for everything & I can't wait to be called a skinny b*tch.
Amirite or Amirite?
I blame pickles. Evil zombie cucumbers!
This has to be some sort of shamming, and once I figure it out, I will expose you for the hater that you are!
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^^^0 -
I blame men for everything & I can't wait to be called a skinny b*tch.
Amirite or Amirite?
I blame pickles. Evil zombie cucumbers!
This has to be some sort of shamming, and once I figure it out, I will expose you for the hater that you are!
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I have seen this really escalating lately. The "REAL women have curves" and "only dogs like bones" are things I seem to see several times a day now. As someone who was constantly bullied for being underweight in school, I am a little sensitive to it. I would never dream of walking up to someone and telling them point-blank they need to lose weight, but people used to tell me all the time that I needed to gain weight, including strangers on the street. Someone once told me I should take it as a compliment. However, when they're saying "Oh my god! You look sick! You need to gain weight! Don't you know men don't like skinny women?" That is not a compliment.
So true! Not too many people I know go up to someone and say "Oh my...you need to loose some weight girl!", but people seem to think it's some sort of a compliment to tell someone that they need to 'eat more' or that they need to gain weight!
I've had same experiences as you...believe me, it's SO not a compliment!0 -
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+1,000 LOLOLOLOL!0 -
[/quote]
"Take a step back and look at the bigger picture (no pun intended), and you will find that there are many wonderful men out there supporting and lifting up "big" women. Take a look at this site alone and odds are you are going to see some really amazing guys who are cheering on women who are overweight. There are very few...VERY few...who talk down about women in general on here. MFP is just a very small sample of what you will find IRL. If you are seeing men fat shaming, then perhaps you need to surround yourself with better men."
[/quote]
This is such a great point. No one of any gender, race, size, orientation will ever behave exactly like any other person of that group. We all deserve to be treated well certainly by the people we allow to be close to us. All we can control is ourselves and we should absolutely move away from people who treat us badly or make us feel "less than" . . . Thank you for making this eloquent point.0 -
she enjoyed Zumba because the class isn't filled with just the "skinny b*tches."
I find it pretty darned motivating to exercise around super thin/fit people. It gives me some hope!
I do feel a bit envious sometimes and annoyed that 1.) I didn't appreciate MY body when I looked like that and 2.) That my body is not cooperating at the moment in reaching my physical goals, but that isn't anyone else's fault and being in shape doesn't make someone a bad person, whether it's hard work or genetics that got the person there.
I have never understood people who have to put others down to feel good about themselves. It's sad.0 -
I feel like the size of my body is a double edged sword. Either I'm a skiny B or a fat A. I either need to eat a cheeseburger or put the cheeseburger down. I know it's utopian to say that I'd love this negative speech about other people's bodies to stop. I guess I just wonder if any of the MFP family has noticed this negative speech about thin women/men and how does it make you feel about lsoing weight or aspiring to be thinner?
You basically can't win. No matter what you look like, someone's going to find a reason not to like you.
Lose weight (or don't) to please yourself, because no one else is going to happy regardless.0 -
I'm going to be real with you, ok. (Hopefully I'm not breaking any MFP rules) It's a lot of pressure for women who share the same race as myself, to lose their tummy, arms, back fat, and double chins, while keeping a plump bottom, large or average size breasts, and huge legs. That's all these rappers talk about, and that's what men are looking for as well. It's so bad, that when asked who is the more attractive woman, slimmer women are actually almost never chosen up against a thicker woman. I'm not saying all men my race are like this, but many are. It's to the point where women and men are bashing slimmer women, and saying they are badly built and encouraging bigger girls to stay that way, just so they don't lose their "thickness". They'll even ignore the presence of a few rolls and tummy fat. I've seen it a lot lately. Especially on Facebook. It's crazy to me.
I developed a little bit of hips after gaining weight. :laugh: I became curvier, and have had men say things to me about it. A TRAINER AT BALLY'S even suggested that I not workout too hard, because it would cause me to lose my curves! But guess what? With those so called curves, comes "extra padding" that I'm not necessarily pleased with. If I want to become fit and slim, and I walk around with a flat bottom, SO BE IT! My happiness and satisfaction with my OWN appearance, is my ONLY concern. They don't like, they don't have to look! I'll prance along happily in my tiny jeans! :smokin:
You just have to get to that point where you are confident in your skin at ANY size. People will always talk, and you can NOT let that bother you. Hold your head high with confidence. Let the haters hate. You can't change what others think or say about you. You can only work on changing how you view yourself!
I'm about to be totally real with you right now.
As an African American I felt compelled to respond to this. I understand what you are saying. But you do know that rap isn't reality, right? Are you looking for guys that act like rappers? I mean that's the only reason why I would think you would feel pressure. Why do you care what some stupid rapper or anyone who acts like them is looking for? Are you living your life for them? Do they determine your self worth?
You and others need to worry about what THEY want.
I know that culture. I see all the pictures on facebook of the girls with the itty bitty waists and the big butt and hips, boobs. Most of that crap is photoshopped since you haven't seemed to guess. It's unrealistic.
It doesn't mean a damn thing to me that that's what they talk about. I don't care WTF they like. It's about the way I want to look and how MY health will be affected in the long run. That crap is not real and if people buy into it, they have a whole list of other problems they need to address. Realize that I am not attacking anyone but I am going to go ahead and say that if you (or whoever)believes that crap their mentality needs to be changed and they need to grow up a bit, and distance themselves from that ridiculous culture that doesn't translate into the real world.
I refuse to be a stereotype. I refuse to be overweight, thick, whatever, just because some stupid rapper says that's what I need to look like. I don't want to look like that. I don't care if you're black, white, asian, whatever. I can still have a beautiful shape and be thin. And to whoever doesn't think so, I have a place where they can go.
Just. So. Much. No.0 -
I'm going to be real with you, ok. (Hopefully I'm not breaking any MFP rules) It's a lot of pressure for women who share the same race as myself, to lose their tummy, arms, back fat, and double chins, while keeping a plump bottom, large or average size breasts, and huge legs. That's all these rappers talk about, and that's what men are looking for as well. It's so bad, that when asked who is the more attractive woman, slimmer women are actually almost never chosen up against a thicker woman. I'm not saying all men my race are like this, but many are. It's to the point where women and men are bashing slimmer women, and saying they are badly built and encouraging bigger girls to stay that way, just so they don't lose their "thickness". They'll even ignore the presence of a few rolls and tummy fat. I've seen it a lot lately. Especially on Facebook. It's crazy to me.
I developed a little bit of hips after gaining weight. :laugh: I became curvier, and have had men say things to me about it. A TRAINER AT BALLY'S even suggested that I not workout too hard, because it would cause me to lose my curves! But guess what? With those so called curves, comes "extra padding" that I'm not necessarily pleased with. If I want to become fit and slim, and I walk around with a flat bottom, SO BE IT! My happiness and satisfaction with my OWN appearance, is my ONLY concern. They don't like, they don't have to look! I'll prance along happily in my tiny jeans! :smokin:
You just have to get to that point where you are confident in your skin at ANY size. People will always talk, and you can NOT let that bother you. Hold your head high with confidence. Let the haters hate. You can't change what others think or say about you. You can only work on changing how you view yourself!
Who the fvck cares what rappers talk about? Don't you want a man who wants you to be the best version of yourself, inside and out? I'd have less respect for a man that wanted me to stay a certain shape for his viewing pleasure, especially if it goes against the interest of my health.0 -
Interestingly enough, I've never had my weight openly commented on except for by one mean kid when I was 12 and one *kitten* ex. I've never been that heavy, but my weight has rarely been commented on by strangers.
My SO on the other hand used to be given a lot of cr*p for being skinny. Women would pinch his arms or stomach in public and talk about his weight a lot. The majority of the people, if not all, who were openly rude about his body were women.
I think it's worth mentioning in this conversation that while women bear the brunt of body shaming, it's not just a women's issue. We live in a society that focuses on appearance over all and where bodies are public domain.0 -
But don't throw men under the bus. We're not making life hell for bigger women. We are celebrating them, encouraging them, laughing with them, dating them, and marrying them.
Tell that to the guys who yell things out of cars or throw food at big women.
quotes.. not.. working... right..0 -
Wow, blanket statements made based on a twitter trend? You're neglecting that there's also a subculture of men who revere "BBWs". The men you're referring to are hateful people on principle. You can't base your opinion of the entire male population based on the behaviors of one specific group.
Um...you're aware of the term "BBC" too, right?
Being fetishized is soooooo flattering!
The term BBW is based on the singling out heavy female bodies in the same way that BBC singles out black male bodies. Despite the fact that people seek out those who fit those terms, they are both offensive in my opinion.
Just because you find it offensive doesn't mean that those being targeted are offended. I have a friend who is very over weight and she is proud of it. That lady gets a ton of action. It's a lifestyle she enjoys. To each their own.
I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with the "BBW and BBW admirer" community.
I'm pro-fetish. If you want to be a feedee and have someone force feed you so you gain weight for their pleasure, go at it. If it provides you an outlet to get laid and you like that, that's cool. Consenting adults can do whatever they want.
But there's a very clear difference between attraction and fetishization. And if you're on fetish websites enough, you see that the same kind of fetish exists for extremely skinny women who have jutting out ribs. It becomes not about the woman herself, but about the "weird" aspects of her body.
And I'm speaking as someone who has been fetishized. I'm almost 6'1" and I've gotten attention from men who fetishize my height. I don't particularly find it flattering to have someone focus on that one aspect of my entire body and being.
That makes a bit more sense. Thanks for clearing it. I can agree that not everyone wants to be fetishized simply because they have a feature that a particular group has a fetish about. Yes, we are all more than just one part of our entire selves. It will always be something that people will focus on though. I have red hair and freckles. I get comments about it often. I am not the stereotypical firey red head. Do I enjoy having red hair, yes! Do I enjoy crud questions about it, no. The only thing I can do is make it clear to those who are fetishizing that I don't appreciate it and move on. I can't speak for an entire group, I can only speak for myself.0 -
A larger relative once said "All skinny girls are mean b*tches" and, well, at the time I was very thin. Yes, it hurt to hear that, even though the person didn't specifically call ME a skinny mean b*tch, but the allusion was there - I am skinny, so and so said all skinny girls are mean b*tches, therefore, I must be a skinny, mean b*tch in her eyes.
Back then I wasn't entirely comfortable in my body; I was skinny fat, in my early 20s, and still trying to get out of my awkward teenage phase. Her comment made me terribly self-conscious about the way I looked and I felt I had to watch every little thing I said because I was worried she would somehow misconstrue it into some rude, "fat people are terrible" comment. The funny thing about all this is that back then I thought I was a really nice person and as I gained weight and became less happy with the way I looked and felt about myself, it bled into how I felt I treated other people.
If I'd had the guts back then, I might have responded with "So you must always be jolly then, right? I mean, if we're basing our opinions of people solely on stereotypes and not by getting to know them, then that must be true. You know, since ALL fat people are jolly..." Would it have helped the problem? Not at all, but maybe it would have shut her down a little bit and made her think twice about what she was saying.0 -
People hate because they hate themselves.0
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There will be people who use nasty language toward you no matter you body size. Some will lash out at thinner people. Some with lash out at larger people. Some will lash out at big chested women. Some will lash out at small chested women. blah blah blah...
You know what?
IT.DOESN'T.MATTER.
Those people's opinions simply do not matter. It's meaningless.
Why? Because they don't know anything about you other than what you look like, and their judgments reflect only upon themselves not you, so let it go. People who talk like that only do it to incite others to abate their own feelings of weakness for the time being. Don't give them the satisfaction. Just walk away and just be you.
Plus, you really don't want to be around people who behave so poorly anyway. They won't have much to offer you.0 -
But don't throw men under the bus. We're not making life hell for bigger women. We are celebrating them, encouraging them, laughing with them, dating them, and marrying them.
Tell that to the guys who yell things out of cars or throw food at big women.
quotes.. not.. working... right..
So all men are *kitten* because a small few didn't get proper parenting!?
I don't yell stuff out of car windows at fat girls...0 -
People hate because they hate themselves.
Precisely. Stop caring about what you can't change.0 -
This whole thread made me cringe. I am so tired of the men vs women bs.0
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OP this may have already been said I don't know I've only read your post, but it is insecurity pure and simple. We women are often insure about our bodies for all sorts of reasons but generally weight is the biggy. I have myself been the accuser of the skinny b's. It was insecurities roaring through and nothing more. She has to be a b because she is too attractive to be anything else. Finally after some time and self growth I realized I'm doing both myself and the skinny chica a disservice. I might be missing out on a friend that can inspire me to weight loss or more importantly stimulate me intellectually with those quick dismissals. Admittedly there some skinny women that really are b's but not because they are skinny. No, it's because they are also insecure somewhere, somehow about their own skinny bodies and need to put chubby chicas down to feel good. Women really must learn to stop viewing their worth as a body. I'm much more of jealous of the smart b's now LOL!0
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But don't throw men under the bus. We're not making life hell for bigger women. We are celebrating them, encouraging them, laughing with them, dating them, and marrying them.
Tell that to the guys who yell things out of cars or throw food at big women.
quotes.. not.. working... right..
You're not looking at men as a whole. You are looking at a few asshats who are making the good guys look bad. The good guys are leading by example. They are treating women with respect. If you are only going to focus on the negative, then that is the only thing you're going to see. Take the blinders off.0 -
It goes both ways. If you're overweight, you're disgusting. If you're thin or underweight, you're disgusting. Men seem to focus on making life hell for bigger women (other women do too) and women focus on making life hell for smaller ones.
Oh what the hell ever. Few men are out there making life hell for big chicks. You're ridiculous.
Sorry ladies, gotta agree here...*most* men are way more forgiving on female body types. Women are their own worst enemies because, for the most part, they fail to see their best qualities and focus only on their perceived flaws.
I think this is pretty true.....almost all the negative body shaming I got was from women.0 -
All this.I'm going to be real with you, ok. (Hopefully I'm not breaking any MFP rules) It's a lot of pressure for women who share the same race as myself, to lose their tummy, arms, back fat, and double chins, while keeping a plump bottom, large or average size breasts, and huge legs. That's all these rappers talk about, and that's what men are looking for as well. It's so bad, that when asked who is the more attractive woman, slimmer women are actually almost never chosen up against a thicker woman. I'm not saying all men my race are like this, but many are. It's to the point where women and men are bashing slimmer women, and saying they are badly built and encouraging bigger girls to stay that way, just so they don't lose their "thickness". They'll even ignore the presence of a few rolls and tummy fat. I've seen it a lot lately. Especially on Facebook. It's crazy to me.
I developed a little bit of hips after gaining weight. :laugh: I became curvier, and have had men say things to me about it. A TRAINER AT BALLY'S even suggested that I not workout too hard, because it would cause me to lose my curves! But guess what? With those so called curves, comes "extra padding" that I'm not necessarily pleased with. If I want to become fit and slim, and I walk around with a flat bottom, SO BE IT! My happiness and satisfaction with my OWN appearance, is my ONLY concern. They don't like, they don't have to look! I'll prance along happily in my tiny jeans! :smokin:
You just have to get to that point where you are confident in your skin at ANY size. People will always talk, and you can NOT let that bother you. Hold your head high with confidence. Let the haters hate. You can't change what others think or say about you. You can only work on changing how you view yourself!
I'm about to be totally real with you right now.
As an African American I felt compelled to respond to this. I understand what you are saying. But you do know that rap isn't reality, right? Are you looking for guys that act like rappers? I mean that's the only reason why I would think you would feel pressure. Why do you care what some stupid rapper or anyone who acts like them is looking for? Are you living your life for them? Do they determine your self worth?
You need to worry about what YOU want.
I know that culture. I see all the pictures on facebook of the girls with the itty bitty waists and the big butt and hips, boobs. Most of that crap is photoshopped since you haven't seemed to guess. It's unrealistic.
It doesn't mean a damn thing to me that that's what they talk about. I don't care WTF they like. It's about the way I want to look and how MY health will be affected in the long run. That crap is not real and if you buy into it, you have a whole list of other problems you need to address. Realize that I am not attacking you but I am going to go ahead and say that if you believe that crap your mentality needs to be changed and you need to grow up a bit, and distance yourself from that ridiculous culture that doesn't translate into the real world.
I refuse to be a stereotype. I refuse to be overweight, thick, whatever, just because some stupid rapper says that's what I need to look like. I don't want to look like that. I don't care if you're black, white, asian, whatever. I can still have a beautiful shape and be thin. And to whoever doesn't think so, I have a place where they can go.
Just. So. Much. No. I encourage you to re-read the rest of your post and about being comfortable in your own skin and begin working towards that.
And I know quite a few thin African-American women who are not even close to being single, so I have this inkling that just like white men, African-American men have varying tastes in what they're attracted to. I just can't believe that 100% of African-American men only want "thick" women.
Not to mention that it isn't at all unusual for people to end up falling in love with someone who is not that person's physical "type" or ideal. We all have an idea of what perfect is, physically, but that doesn't mean only someone who looks that way has a shot.
I have always gone for very tall, larger men, like linebacker-type build. I'm marrying a man who's quite skinny and while not short, also not as tall as pretty much any of my exes. And I've gained and lost and gained weight in the nine years we've been together and he's never complained.0 -
But don't throw men under the bus. We're not making life hell for bigger women. We are celebrating them, encouraging them, laughing with them, dating them, and marrying them.
Tell that to the guys who yell things out of cars or throw food at big women.
quotes.. not.. working... right..
I had garbage thrown at me while I was weed eating at one of our commercial properties. The driver was a woman...0 -
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It's exhausting trying to put different sexes, races, and religions into a bubble with a perfect description of their behaviors. Even arguing "All pitbulls are vicious!" is exhausting.
Save the energy and worry about your own *kitten* instead...
Or... dance. Cause dancing makes everyone happy!!
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People hate because they hate themselves.
Nailed it!
Try to make a snide remark when you're in a good place. Not going to happen.0 -
People hate because they hate themselves.
Nailed it!
Try to make a snide remark when you're in a good place. Not going to happen.
I don't know, I kinda think "People are *kitten* coated *kitten* with *kitten* filling" kinda nailed it too...0
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