Negative Language About Thin People
Replies
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Never before have so many been offended by so little.
All you fat **es and skinny ***tches get over it.0 -
The man bashing is just annoying, if a woman feels "men make women's life hell" or "make a big woman's life hell" the generalization of all men is just ignorant. It is no different of a juvenile *kitten* stating "all women are crazy" or "all women are b¡tches".
It's simply the product of people not owning their own issues, and needing to blame others. Like you said, it's juvenile.
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My hope is to one day hear, "Wow, he sure has lost a lot of weight and trimmed down" from people I know and are aware of what I used to look like.
And from women, "Do you want to come back to my place?"
That is what I'm working towards... anything else is just noise not worth my time.0 -
Every woman on earth has experienced it.
Untrue. No one has ever made either of those types of comments towards me. Not when I was a skinny b*tch, not when I was obese, and not now that I am thin again.
Make that two of us.
Other women have pretty much always been very nice to me. I think catty women attract catty women and so that's their world view. Not all women are catty.
And I have been a size 3 and a size 12 and had no problem attracting men at either size (or anywhere in between).0 -
Yeah, and some people just *need* drama, so they seek it out.0
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Every woman on earth has experienced it.
Untrue. No one has ever made either of those types of comments towards me. Not when I was a skinny b*tch, not when I was obese, and not now that I am thin again.
Make that two of us.
Other women have pretty much always been very nice to me. I think catty women attract catty women and so that's their world view. Not all women are catty.
And I have been a size 3 and a size 12 and had no problem attracting men at either size (or anywhere in between).
I've only gotten comments on my weight from my family members (and even then they weren't terribly negative, just observations I suppose). I don't think anyone else has ever commented negatively on my weight to my face.0 -
wrong place sorry!0
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Actually, I should clarify that my mother has made a few comments over the years if I gained a little bit. But no one else has. If I lost weight. I got compliments but no hate.Every woman on earth has experienced it.
Untrue. No one has ever made either of those types of comments towards me. Not when I was a skinny b*tch, not when I was obese, and not now that I am thin again.
Make that two of us.
Other women have pretty much always been very nice to me. I think catty women attract catty women and so that's their world view. Not all women are catty.
And I have been a size 3 and a size 12 and had no problem attracting men at either size (or anywhere in between).
I've only gotten comments on my weight from my family members (and even then they weren't terribly negative, just observations I suppose). I don't think anyone else has ever commented negatively on my weight to my face.
And from my mother, I think it was more about concern because she's been heavy her entire life and I think it's been tough for her.0 -
Wow, blanket statements made based on a twitter trend? You're neglecting that there's also a subculture of men who revere "BBWs". The men you're referring to are hateful people on principle. You can't base your opinion of the entire male population based on the behaviors of one specific group.
Um...you're aware of the term "BBC" too, right?
Being fetishized is soooooo flattering!
The term BBW is based on the singling out heavy female bodies in the same way that BBC singles out black male bodies. Despite the fact that people seek out those who fit those terms, they are both offensive in my opinion.
Yes. I am aware that many different types of bodies are fetishized. I used the term in quotes and never implied I endorsed its use.
I need to agree here. I don't want to get into the details. But, there are other body types (with websites and all) that get fetishized. Personally it doesn't offend me. I can see ways that it could go in a negative direction. But, that's true for all fetishes. It can be healthy or unhealthy. It just depends. Some people like fetishes, and some don't. If you don't like it, then just don't participate. But, some men have preferences and that's all it is (not a fetish).
Also the original quote was taken out of context. It was used as an example of a subculture and how all men do not necessarily feel that way. That is it.
Oh, yeah. I agree. Not all men are the same.
Also want to say that I was only talking about things that are harmless and consensual and of age. I don't know what bbc is, so I am not commenting on that.0 -
Yep, it is jealousy.
Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.
Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.
I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.0 -
I detest stereotypes. There's plenty of that crap in here.0
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I guess I just wonder if any of the MFP family has noticed this negative speech about thin women/men and how does it make you feel about lsoing weight or aspiring to be thinner?
Yes. I've heard negative speech for both fat shaming and skinny shaming for males and females.
And I've read it here on the boards (probably more skinny shaming going on these boards than fat shaming). The former has many join in and opine with their "you're too skinny" comments. The latter tends not to happen as the thread will either get pulled, or there is generally too much respect from the message board community to engage in any negative fat shaming here at MFP.
Either way, I hear the negative comments - especially from women with regard to skinny shaming - all the time at work. And I've received a few myself this year after dropping weight which, at first, I found really odd considering I have been even slimmer than I am now in my adult life (when younger). I even got it at a Younkers store from a sales clerk when I was attempting to purchase some new dress shirts in the slim cut fit with the proper neck and sleeve length. Stores usually don't have too much in stock for tall, skinny guys when it comes to pants and dress shirts as it is not a large demographic worthy of stocking the shelves for most stores. Younkers did have some excellent dress shirts in my size, I was just having difficulty locating them. The sales clerk skinny shamed me right in front of other customers when I asked about the choices and selections for my size. I don't ever think that has happened to me before like that day.0 -
What I wonder is why personal experience wouldn't override this?Yep, it is jealousy.
Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.
Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.
I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.
I am not thrilled with my body and I want to be thinner and less jiggly and all of those things, but I get plenty of male attention and I always have. I am not trying to be more attractive to men because I don't seem to have a problem with NOT being attractive to them. It doesn't matter what these ads all say when decades of personal experience tell me I'm doing just fine. And maybe that's why I'm not hateful about other women? I don't know.
And my best friend has suffered from pretty bad acne most of her life, even now in her mid-thirties, and she's always kind of had to beat men of with a stick. They love her. And she also doesn't have that perfect, tight body going on. I mean, she's not overweight, but she isn't super slim and she isn't toned -- she doesn't fit the ideal at all. She does, however, have a ton of confidence.
So if our experiences far and wide are that men don't need this so-called perfection, why do we think we have to achieve it to attract men?0 -
It goes both ways. If you're overweight, you're disgusting. If you're thin or underweight, you're disgusting. Men seem to focus on making life hell for bigger women (other women do too) and women focus on making life hell for smaller ones.
If you ladies want to hate each other go right ahead, we know better than to try to stop you.
But don't throw men under the bus. We're not making life hell for bigger women. We are celebrating them, encouraging them, laughing with them, dating them, and marrying them.
A lot of what you think of as "men" or "society" is really just those trash magazines you keep buying and supporting.
Plus, who would want to stop a cat fight....
Potential mud/jello fight????0 -
Yep, it is jealousy.
Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.
Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.
I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.
I do NOT think this when I watch a face wash commercial. First I don't spend a whole lot of time worry about what makes me attractive to "men" in general. Second, men are attracted to a LOT of things, really it's a huge range. They are just attracted to thin women with clear skin. They also are attracted to non-physical things. Third, my husband finds me attractive :shrug:0 -
What I wonder is why personal experience wouldn't override this?Yep, it is jealousy.
Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.
Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.
I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.
I am not thrilled with my body and I want to be thinner and less jiggly and all of those things, but I get plenty of male attention and I always have. I am not trying to be more attractive to men because I don't seem to have a problem with NOT being attractive to them. It doesn't matter what these ads all say when decades of personal experience tell me I'm doing just fine. And maybe that's why I'm not hateful about other women? I don't know.
And my best friend has suffered from pretty bad acne most of her life, even now in her mid-thirties, and she's always kind of had to beat men of with a stick. They love her. And she also doesn't have that perfect, tight body going on. I mean, she's not overweight, but she isn't super slim and she isn't toned -- she doesn't fit the ideal at all. She does, however, have a ton of confidence.
So if our experiences far and wide are that men don't need this so-called perfection, why do we think we have to achieve it to attract men?
I was only addressing this comment: "Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. "
How do we know? We are told. Early and often. That's my only point in posting my response.0 -
I am so confused about what's going on in this thread.
TL;DR
cliffs?
I saw man hating? women hating? fat hating?
and something about furries.0 -
Also want to say that I was only talking about things that are harmless and consensual and of age. I don't know what bbc is, so I am not commenting on that.
and now you know.0 -
I am 100% guilty of this. "She needs to eat a bacon sandwich with mayo..." is said more times than I care to admit in my house. Never to anyone's face... but, truly, does that matter? I guess I just never really thought about how it would be rude or disrespectful, or hurtful... If someone said that to me, I'd be like "woo hoo!" and feel like they saw me as skinny.
I don't know how we got off on the ~men throwing things out car windows at fat women~ tangent, and I think the "men do this" and "women do this" trend in this thread is bull****. People can be mean, rude, disrespectful, hurtful.... people come in all shapes, sizes, races, genders.....
I guess, for myself, I will trend away from the "eat a bacon sandwich" comments and try to teach my son that people come in all shapes, sizes, races and genders. Some are mean, some are not.0 -
I am so confused about what's going on in this thread.
TL;DR
cliffs?
I saw man hating? women hating? fat hating?
and something about furries.
I know, lol. What just happened.0 -
Also want to say that I was only talking about things that are harmless and consensual and of age. I don't know what bbc is, so I am not commenting on that.
and now you know.
You're so amazing- I love you.
I had a pretty good idea- but that.. that was just beautiful.
yeah usually I'll try to read the last page- and figure something out- then back my way back to the most recent derail and figure it out- but this was too much for me today it seems.I know, lol. What just happened.
Just. I can't.
Now we have roosters and furries- so awesome.0 -
and now you know.
You're so amazing- I love you.
I had a pretty good idea- but that.. that was just beautiful.
It was just a perfect setup! :happy:0 -
Also want to say that I was only talking about things that are harmless and consensual and of age. I don't know what bbc is, so I am not commenting on that.
and now you know.
Oh my. Lol0 -
Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.
I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.
Every magazine ad, tv commercial, singer, model, actress reminds us what we need to look like to sell the most units and get people in the seats.0 -
Except that many men are perfectly happily attracted to women who do not look like those women. So why doesn't experience override this phenomenon? And, also, in that case your explanation doesn't answer the OP's question. He asked how we know what most men are attracted to and most men are attracted to women who are not that perfect ideal from commercials and magazines.
What I wonder is why personal experience wouldn't override this?Yep, it is jealousy.
Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.
Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.
I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.
I am not thrilled with my body and I want to be thinner and less jiggly and all of those things, but I get plenty of male attention and I always have. I am not trying to be more attractive to men because I don't seem to have a problem with NOT being attractive to them. It doesn't matter what these ads all say when decades of personal experience tell me I'm doing just fine. And maybe that's why I'm not hateful about other women? I don't know.
And my best friend has suffered from pretty bad acne most of her life, even now in her mid-thirties, and she's always kind of had to beat men of with a stick. They love her. And she also doesn't have that perfect, tight body going on. I mean, she's not overweight, but she isn't super slim and she isn't toned -- she doesn't fit the ideal at all. She does, however, have a ton of confidence.
So if our experiences far and wide are that men don't need this so-called perfection, why do we think we have to achieve it to attract men?
I was only addressing this comment: "Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. "
How do we know? We are told. Early and often. That's my only point in posting my response.0 -
and now you know.
Took me a second then I was
on a side note this is my first go at inserting a GIF so if it doesn't work don't look at the woman behind the curtain :ohwell:0 -
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well crap I give...:grumble:0
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Fixed...
Type:
Must be lowercase and omit the spaces
You also need the URL from the gif. Click gif and copy url or right click and select copy image url0 -
Yep, it is jealousy.
Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.
It's not hard to figure out what men find attractive in a woman...
Big tits...tiny little waist....and a big round thing, in yo' face!! :smokin:0
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