Still feel and look ugly, eve EFTER loosing weight.

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  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
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    Oh folks! You make my heart hurt. Each one of us is a special wonderful creation. You have a desire to change your physical appearance which is to your credit but that person you are inside can't be changed with diet and exercise!

    Look in the mirror each day and say something positive about what you see. I know this sounds corny but replacing negative thoughts and notions about yourself will bring on a more positive outlook.

    You look amazing diggy! Great arms, amazing hair and the fortitude to lose 50#!! There are many people here on MFP that would love to have come as far as you have!

    When we have things we don't like about ourselves, our eyes immediately go to them. No one else even sees them because it isn't a problem to them. Big head??? Terrific hair! Strong arms. Strong legs that have carried you place to place even before losing weight. So many wonderful things about you I see in this picture.

    Keep up the good work and give yourself a positive pep talk each morning so that you can really enjoy this slimmer person you have become!

    Hugs!

    This honestly made me smile at my screen, I feel incredibly selfish now that people wish to be where I am. If I could switch places with those who need it more..I definitely would. Thank you for all the kind words, you are far too kind!
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    You have to shop around for therapists. Not everyone is going to be a good for for you straight away. Same with pretty much everything in life (good doctors, car dealers, gym memberships...) you have to find the right fit. The last therapist you saw might not have worked for you, but don't let that discourage you.

    You are young. You don't deserve to be beating yourself up so early in your life. Set your head straight NOW and you'll be better able to cope with other (perceived) difficulties in your life much easier.
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
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    Diggy, based on your photos you look fine.

    *Feeling* ugly is one of the hazards of being a teen, especially because you *were* fat and probably got harassed by other teens over it at some point, making you unusually self-conscious.

    There exists a problem called 'body dysmorphic disorder' but you probably don't have it--you're probably just suffering midnight tired-teenager angst.

    Take a look at some other lightly-built men. Elijah Wood, for example. He muscled up a little from his teenage (hobbit) years, but you seem to have similar body types. There's nothing wrong with that look or build.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

    I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.

    Ok, I know this might sound silly, but maybe you had the camera too close. It screws up perspective.
    http://bakerdh.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/face-distortion-is-not-due-to-lens-distortion/
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
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    I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

    I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.
    Feelings are not good or bad, they just are. It's what you do with those feelings that matter. You are really putting yourself down. I know there is much more good about you, and I'd love to hear it.

    Ugly is in the perception. For the one person (you) who calls you ugly, there are many more who call you beautiful and handsome.

    Chin up and stop putting yourself down, and get a referral from your doctor to talk with a therapist. It seems to me you have some serious issues with body image.

    Edited to Add: by the way, I am way older than you, and if those two people in your profile photo are you, you were adorable before and you are adorable after. :smile:

    Heck, I've been like this for years. Only more recently has it been more clear that I am 'still ugly' and all. My flaws are becoming so bad right now, including my skin and hair.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    I just checked your pic, your head looks normal to me. You look like a normal young person. But if you are having continuing feelings like this, talking to someone about it isn't a bad idea. Because there's nothing wrong with seeking help or counseling to help teach you how to love yourself more. Hope it works out for you. You have your whole life ahead of you and much to look forward to, so shouldn't be sitting about in your pajamas all day :-)
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
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    I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

    I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.

    Ok, I know this might sound silly, but maybe you had the camera too close. It screws up perspective.
    http://bakerdh.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/face-distortion-is-not-due-to-lens-distortion/

    It was just an iPhone 5 camera. I know they're probably not the *best* things to film on, but it gave me enough to think bad of myself! God forbid if it was on a PROFESSIONAL, and CLEAR camera...imagine the flaws then!!!!
  • FaylinaMeir
    FaylinaMeir Posts: 661 Member
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    I happen to think you're very handsome, downright sexy. That being you might have some minor/moderate body dysmorphia and self esteem issues. Not at all uncommon if you were at one point a large person. My advice is if you can't work through it maybe consider getting a therapist or atleast a consultation because hating your body is a waste of precious time and too stressful.
  • Shimmysista
    Shimmysista Posts: 75 Member
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    Your head looks fine to me!

    I think a few of us find flaws once we have lost the weight. We get this image of some super version of us that will appear once the weight is gone and we cant possibly match up to that.

    My issues personally are the sag and skin associated with large weight loss ( and yes i even relate to the big head thing too, where is I actually do have a large head lol most hats don't even fit me) And then being used to our head being smaller in relation to our body as it is now just to the sheer mass of us it seems more prominent after the loss.

    From what I can get from the gander at your after pic you are an attractive young man! You just need to find acceptance in yourself. No one is perfect, we all have that dreaded body part we WISH looked like someone elses. I guarantee there is at least one person who wishes they had a part like yours as well. You are working it young man! Now OWN it ! ( snaps in the air!)
  • BlondeButtercup127
    BlondeButtercup127 Posts: 750 Member
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    I just checked your pic, your head looks normal to me. You look like a normal young person. But if you are having continuing feelings like this, talking to someone about it isn't a bad idea. Because there's nothing wrong with seeking help or counseling to help teach you how to love yourself more. Hope it works out for you. You have your whole life ahead of you and much to look forward to, so shouldn't be sitting about in your pajamas all day :-)

    This.
    You have done amazing work; losing the weight and getting healthy for your life ahead! & you look great! NO! You're head is not too big! Your loss has inspired me!!

    Be well & take care!! You have some great advice on here! :flowerforyou:
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

    I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.

    Ok, I know this might sound silly, but maybe you had the camera too close. It screws up perspective.
    http://bakerdh.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/face-distortion-is-not-due-to-lens-distortion/

    It was just an iPhone 5 camera. I know they're probably not the *best* things to film on, but it gave me enough to think bad of myself! God forbid if it was on a PROFESSIONAL, and CLEAR camera...imagine the flaws then!!!!

    Actually, with a 'professional lens & clear camera' you'd get better results. An all purpose wide (fixed) angle lens (35 mm) will yield distorted results as compared to using a something like say a 60 mm lens.

    It's been a number of years since my A1E photography days, but if I remembered the mm correctly, it was the ONLY lens I used for portraiture. Check out this link...

    https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110608191026AAskrSs
  • zumbalinda22
    zumbalinda22 Posts: 182 Member
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    Please take this with the good intentions that I'm sending it with. Sweetie, you are a handsome young man, just starting on an exciting stage of life. Your comments about yourself are more than just negative - I think that there is something like BDD going on, or some serious self-esteem issues that will drain the joy out of life if you don't deal with them. I have children close to your age, and if they said those types of things about themselves, I'd want to get some help for them. I really hope you can find a way to change your thoughts about yourself. You've worked hard and done well on your physical self - there's nothing wrong with working on emotional issues too. I wish you all the best!
  • daw0518
    daw0518 Posts: 459 Member
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    In the same way that money doesn't buy happiness, weight loss doesn't always equal loving yourself. If you're unhappy with the way you look before losing weight, you probably won't be happy after either. The 'ugliness' you think you see in the mirror is all in your head - YOU are always your own worst enemy.

    Something that helped me was realizing how little other people notice. Other people are too busy worrying about themselves to worry about you or what you look like. You think you have a big head but you're probably the ONLY one who thinks that - no one else notices or cares. Seriously. Realizing that other people don't see the same things I do freed me a lot. Just strive to like yourself and forget the rest. No matter what you do, there will be people who think you're stunning and people who think your hideous. That's just how it goes.

    As others have said, try focusing on the positive. You lost a lot of weight, so play up your new features if it makes you feel better. Buy some nice clothes that make you feel fabulous. Try a new hair style or color. Whatever it takes to make yourself happy.
  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
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    Please seek therapy !

    Is that really necessary?

    The post may have been blunt, but you do seem to have a very low body image and perhaps self esteem...if you can't see what we see when we look at your after photo something is off. And I certainly don't see what you describe yourself as. It may be that some professional therapy would benefit you.

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  • NikiaSue
    NikiaSue Posts: 259 Member
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    Go to Walmart, or whatever is similar near you, and people watch. You'll feel better about yourself in no time. Also, you look fine.
  • RobertHButler
    RobertHButler Posts: 50
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    When I started, I needed a wheel barrow to carry around my belly; Now I wear medium clothes. in the mirror, I still see a lot of flab around my belly, but I do core exercises to hopefully tighten and flatten that area.I wear athletic tees when I go swimming to hide my shame, but don't really care what people think.
  • SlaughterHouseFive
    SlaughterHouseFive Posts: 24 Member
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    You are 18. This comic below might add some perspective

    ugrjZ4A.jpg
  • cheesevixen_staci
    cheesevixen_staci Posts: 153 Member
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    I'm a serial body dieter. I constantly work towards improving how I look because of how I feel. You can work on both though through diet and exercise as well as other methods like counseling or regular socialization. You can change how you look, but make sure you are trying to be more positive on your journey. Compliment yourself everyday. I know it sounds corny, but if you keep telling yourself you are worthy than eventually you start feeling like you are.

    One time I forced myself to smile at every one I came within eye contact of, and it was a good day.
  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
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    You are 18. This comic below might add some perspective

    ugrjZ4A.jpg

    23 and still relevant. Of course my leg hair is thin and very blonde, so I don't shave very often xD
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
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    I just checked your pic, your head looks normal to me. You look like a normal young person. But if you are having continuing feelings like this, talking to someone about it isn't a bad idea. Because there's nothing wrong with seeking help or counseling to help teach you how to love yourself more. Hope it works out for you. You have your whole life ahead of you and much to look forward to, so shouldn't be sitting about in your pajamas all day :-)

    Thankyou for this!

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