Still feel and look ugly, eve EFTER loosing weight.

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  • jtotheno
    jtotheno Posts: 123 Member
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    My goodness! You are hot.. seriously.. I bet the girls are all secretly crushing on you.. tall, dark and handsome. You would totally be my teenage crush!! (12 years ago! :tongue: ) I know how hard it can be to overcome ****ty feelings though, as someone who's battled depression and anxiety my entire life. I hope you can find a way to feel better about yourself, because trust me, only you think you look so terrible. You're incredibly good looking (before AND after) and you probably have a beautiful soul as well. :heart:
  • paulperryman
    paulperryman Posts: 839 Member
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    hey i think i'm a SIngStar too :) well SingStar sais i am hahah Singing is a great way to melt away negative thoughts and it's actually cardio too.

    i had my heart rate monitor on one time and my heart rate went up to 120 bpm when i was singing as opposed to 70-80 at rest :)
    so belt out a few tunes and there's a light cardio workout lol
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
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    Maybe this picture can show the true aspect of my head, considering my phone is over my face in the 'after' one. Still huge, in my opinion. Thanks for the compliment, though

    You look fine. I seriously don't see the problem here. Looking at this picture, I would find it EXTREMELY hard to believe that you were ever overweight in the first place!

    You look like my husband did when he was 18 - and believe me, my husband was SERIOUSLY popular with women at 18. He couldn't get them to stop calling him!

    As others have said - you are worrying over nothing. You are a very nice-looking guy. If I weren't 42 and married and.... oh, wait, yeah. I am. :flowerforyou:

    Self-hatred sucks. I know. Going through it myself. It'll take time to believe that you have worth, but you do. Never think otherwise.

    Tell him I need some advice, because it sure isn't working for me! Oh I sure was overweight, and I sure was UGLY too. If I had the courage I would show you a picture of me from a few years ago, THEN you can tell me I'm ugly because boy I can see why I was called fat and ugly in the first place. You're only saying that because I'm here, but I appreciate it! I hope you can pull through, it really is hard.
  • SlyMouse
    SlyMouse Posts: 8 Member
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    I think you're cute. !! Really, I looked at all your pics, and you are cute... Now, I'm old enough to be your grandmother or great-grandmother. But you look great.
  • taylormoooon
    taylormoooon Posts: 130 Member
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    Sweetheart, you are young and still growing! :) as your body catches up with where you want it to be, it will all become balanced! You really should give yourself a break! You actually look cute from the photos you have posted. :) and I'm not just saying that cause I'm a mom! lol!!!

    I teach and I've seen many young people grow up and they learn to shape themselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. You have to balance your life outlook and give yourself time to "morph" into you! :)

    look at who you are and focus on what you like and don't focus on the negatives. Say if you run really fast, wear cool shoes. If you like hair, style it. My son likes to run fast so he makes sure his shoes are his favorite color and look cool! he's going to be 16.

    BTW your head is not that big nor is it our of proportion with your body. :)

    *some people have a pep-talk to themselves every day… I am strong! I am fantastic! I am smart! I am awesome!

    I can …

    you fill in the blank. :)

    So beautifully said. I am only 23 and my morph into the real me is only starting! When I was 18 I had a lot of confidence problems about my self image but she's right in telling you that you must focus on the positive! Being negative will only hold you back from reaching your goals. I love that I love myself now and once you realize that you too are great and you are the only version of your self on this planet, that is when you'll notice yourself begin to flourish. And if you're worried about your head as you say, a lot is going to start to change as you grow into the man you'll become and in my opinion you look totally fine!
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
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    hey i think i'm a SIngStar too :) well SingStar sais i am hahah Singing is a great way to melt away negative thoughts and it's actually cardio too.

    i had my heart rate monitor on one time and my heart rate went up to 120 bpm when i was singing as opposed to 70-80 at rest :)
    so belt out a few tunes and there's a light cardio workout lol

    Hahaha, I normally put on my own little concerts when exercising downstairs in my cellar. Jumping around like I'm on a stage, and I sure end up breaking a sweat.
  • perseverance14
    perseverance14 Posts: 1,364 Member
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    You look fine, and your head looks fine too, you are a handsome dude.
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
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    If I had the courage I would show you a picture of me from a few years ago

    Go for it. Because I'd tell you the same thing. :tongue: I'm not "just saying" what I'm saying to make you feel better or to placate you, I promise - because there are others here that are telling you the exact same thing (note the "I'd be crushing on you" post from earlier).

    Your self perception is negative, and it's understandable, because you've spent the last X amount of months or years believing what other people may have told you about yourself (and especially in a negative light). I've been there. I was once 343 pounds at 5'3" and if you don't think THOSE stats got some seriously nasty comments.... hell, I STILL get them 113 pounds later. I know. We all know here about negative self-perception.

    You have to learn to love yourself before anything or anyone else can. Otherwise you'll always believe that your head is too big or your thighs are too fat or you're scum of the earth, or whatever those "mind tapes" play in your brain (as my own therapist has said).

    There is always, always, ALWAYS going to be someone or something out there that "looks/acts/is better" than you are. So love what you've got - it's what makes you, you. And uniqueness rocks.
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
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    If I had the courage I would show you a picture of me from a few years ago

    Go for it. Because I'd tell you the same thing. :tongue: I'm not "just saying" what I'm saying to make you feel better or to placate you, I promise - because there are others here that are telling you the exact same thing (note the "I'd be crushing on you" post from earlier).

    Your self perception is negative, and it's understandable, because you've spent the last X amount of months or years believing what other people may have told you about yourself (and especially in a negative light). I've been there. I was once 343 pounds at 5'3" and if you don't think THOSE stats got some seriously nasty comments.... hell, I STILL get them 113 pounds later. I know. We all know here about negative self-perception.

    You have to learn to love yourself before anything or anyone else can. Otherwise you'll always believe that your head is too big or your thighs are too fat or you're scum of the earth, or whatever those "mind tapes" play in your brain (as my own therapist has said).

    There is always, always, ALWAYS going to be someone or something out there that "looks/acts/is better" than you are. So love what you've got - it's what makes you, you. And uniqueness rocks.

    I can guarantee you wouldn't! And if you did, it'd just to be kind. I'm sorry you were called such things, but you're 113lbs down, hell, I'd love to be 113lbs down! I'm not sure when/if I will ever think good of myself.
  • popslice
    popslice Posts: 22
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    You are 18. This comic below might add some perspective

    ugrjZ4A.jpg

    Ha! This is me exactly, but not until I hit 30.
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
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    I can guarantee you wouldn't! And if you did, it'd just to be kind.

    Well, I won't argue with you, but I don't much like being called a liar.

    Good luck, though.
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
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    I can guarantee you wouldn't! And if you did, it'd just to be kind.

    Well, I won't argue with you, but I don't much like being called a liar.

    Good luck, though.

    I don't think you should take that personally. I would say it about anybody complimenting me.
  • shadow2soul
    shadow2soul Posts: 7,692 Member
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    13yp4l1.jpg
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,679 Member
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    Forgot to mention this. OP, if you would like some more assistance/socialization with like-minded people, here are a few of the MFP groups that have helped me, to which I will invite you in a few moments:

    Christian Support Group (if that fits your heart, nice group to pray with and discuss Godly things)
    Teen Titans ( place to discuss concerns)
    The Real You Is Skinny (Another helpful group for youth, the title says it all)
    College Students (Since I hope that is/will be you)
    There are probably many more whose names I can't remember, but I think that'll get you started if you're interested.
  • paulperryman
    paulperryman Posts: 839 Member
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    cc3218124a79d382a15dd33b3585be554de5.jpg 2008 - 112+ Kgs

    cc32972f22956eedddbd95f8ec8d98a1aa7b.jpg 2012 - 112Kgs

    cc32c47dd048cb29f38118e611ffc8629368.jpg end of 2013 - about 80Kgs

    cc325e88c1875c6a4839d3f8a0c5bb21d5dd.jpg
    cc32b02e55152f61c980e932d8436e9c3799.jpg 2014 - 75Kgs currently 74.5


    There does that make you slightly less self conscious if i can do it. I hate pictures of myself but it's good therapy to just get them out there and now have someone on the other side of the country that i bond with after 31yrs if being solo
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    I like big heads, and I think you look good ;) Plus, your head looks normal sized in the photo you posted, and it didn't look that big in your before photo either

    8uuSG2W.png

    Maybe this picture can show the true aspect of my head, considering my phone is over my face in the 'after' one. Still huge, in my opinion. Thanks for the compliment, though
    That's you? You are downright adorable!
  • JoeCampbell85
    JoeCampbell85 Posts: 140
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    We all have defects. You might have a big head. I have ears that provide enough lift that I have to register with the FAA for windy days. Bothered me when I was younger, now that I'm a bit older I rock it. Imperfections don't define us, my friend.
  • Holla4mom
    Holla4mom Posts: 587 Member
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    You are 18. This comic below might add some perspective

    ugrjZ4A.jpg

    This point exactly. I think you are at a very self-conscious stage. I also think you look amazing (not the way you say it to a friend who just needs to hear it, but you look very handsome and very fit). I do believe your mom is on to something with BDD. I work in mental health and a close friend also has it and her statements about her body are really off. Because of that you may never see accurately the amazing progress you've made unless you talk with someone who specializes in helping you line up your view of yourself with reality.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    We all have defects. You might have a big head. I have ears that provide enough lift that I have to register with the FAA for windy days. Bothered me when I was younger, now that I'm a bit older I rock it. Imperfections don't define us, my friend.
    What a a great point. On both feet, I have a space in between my big toe and my next toe, so it looks like a toe should be there. Wonder how that happened! Some would see this as flaws in both feet, and I used to, but as an adult I think it's cool!
  • michellemarcotteartist
    michellemarcotteartist Posts: 11 Member
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    I looked at your photos as an artist who paints portraits and I am here to tell you that you aren't ugly. Who is telling you you look ugly? If it is someone else, shove them out of your life. If it is you, talk to someone about it and start an active program of positive thinking. Maybe exercise will get you some feeling better endorphins. Stand up straight, look people in the eye and smile. You have taken on a big challenge and beat it.

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