Am I overweight?

hamiltonba

Kewkdb - You're absolutely CORRECT - and this coming from a woman! What man in his right mind would say, "yes honey, you're overweight"!!

HealthyChanges2010

Um OK...her BF is not telling the truth?! Maybe I read that wrong, but it seems an odd thing to say, lol. He said that she looks good and does not look overweight!

No, you read that correct. No boyfriend is going to tell his girlfriend she is overweight. That is setting himself up for disaster. Does he think she looks good? Absolutely. Does he think she looks over weight? You will never know. However, judging from her photo and height/weight, yes she is over weight. Is she obese? Absolutely not. Hence, that said it is up to her on how she feels about the way she looks and feels.

Come on people there is no need to candy coat it here. She has her boyfriend for that. We are all here on this site to lose weight and/or get fit. We should at least be able to tell each other the honest truth.

Dang, I found the one man out there that DID tell me I was overweight!! He was straight up honest that I had gained quite a lot of weight and while he wasn't thrilled about it, he understood. We were having LOTS of home-life and medical issues. As for the OP, I agree that your BF is most likely not going to tell you what he really thinks as he wants to avoid arguements and hurt feelings. But ultimately, the decision is yours to make if you want to lose weight or not. Only you have that power.

Love an honest man!! Honesty in a relationship is what makes it work long term, sometimes how we word things can be the killer but I agree straight up and honest:drinker:

Cytherea

According to the BMI calculator that I've used, you are only 3 lbs. overweight. I am the same height as you, and that is right around where my goal is! If you are uncomfortable with yourself, I would say work to get more in shape than to necessarily "lose weight." You'll be healthier and the weight loss will result because of it too.

For the record, I am one of those women who expect total, brutal, honesty. My husband would never lie to me and I love him for it. I could NEVER be with a man who didn't tell me the truth.

When I was picking out dresses for a wedding back in August, I was showing my husband the options and my mom was there. She was shocked (to say the least!) at some of the things that came out of his mouth when he saw me in the dresses! On the other hand, it just made me laugh. She doesn't know how I deal with it; I don't know how SHE deals with my dad, who just says "wow" at everything!

trekkiebeth

I didn't know that so many people would question my boyfriend's honesty. If most men lie to their girlfriends/wives about it, then I have to assume that most women don't want their boyfriends/husbands to tell them the truth. He knows that I want to know the truth, and I believe that he's honest with me.

To everyone who keeps saying my boyfriend isn't being honest with me, please stop assuming that you know him better than I do.

Anyway, I can't afford to get checked out by a doctor. I'll just have to take my best guess about whether I'm healthy or not. I try to eat well most of the time, but my activity is sporadic. I've already decided that I want to try to lose weight, so I'm planning to eat even healthier and get more regular exercise.

JLeeAlton

Oh I don't think he isn't being honest with you at all. I think you look great in the pictures. I am sure he thinks you look great as well!

I think conversation just stemmed from men saying they would be put in the dog house if they told thier women, yes you are overweight.

Grokette

I didn't know that so many people would question my boyfriend's honesty. If most men lie to their girlfriends/wives about it, then I have to assume that most women don't want their boyfriends/husbands to tell them the truth. He knows that I want to know the truth, and I believe that he's honest with me.

To everyone who keeps saying my boyfriend isn't being honest with me, please stop assuming that you know him better than I do.

Anyway, I can't afford to get checked out by a doctor. I'll just have to take my best guess about whether I'm healthy or not. I try to eat well most of the time, but my activity is sporadic. I've already decided that I want to try to lose weight, so I'm planning to eat even healthier and get more regular exercise.

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks...........

Most people think because their mate would lie to them that everyone's mate will lie to that person too.

HealthyChanges2010

Oh I don't think he isn't being honest with you at all. I think you look great in the pictures. I am sure he thinks you look great as well!

I think conversation just stemmed from men saying they would be put in the dog house if they told thier women, yes you are overweight.

agreed

I wouldn't take it too personally about others sharing the men vs. women situation, it was brought up as a general topic not anyone calling YOUR bf a liar.:laugh: Simply that as women we have somewhat conditioned men to avoid uncomfortable situations by our reactions when they are saying something straight up. Women and Men communicate differently, some men are pretty blunt some women take that to heart and nothing is truly meant by it regarding hurting the person they care about by simply responded to the question ask.

Lots of thoughts tossed out here, by now you've made your decision and can now decide what you'd like to do for yourself:flowerforyou: Keep in mind message boards are open for all thoughts when someone asks a question:smokin: doesn't mean anyone is trashing your boyfriend:noway:

jennylynn84

I try to eat well most of the time, but my activity is sporadic. I've already decided that I want to try to lose weight, so I'm planning to eat even healthier and get more regular exercise.

Probably your best bet right here. Personally, I think you look fine. BUT because you have such issues with your body, doing a little bit more to take care of it probably won't hurt the way you feel about it.

Also, even though you don't LOOK bad, that's not the definition of health and if you're fairly sedentary putting in some more activity won't hurt either. No use being "skinny fat." Just don't go overboard. Take measurements as well. There are other calculators of body fat available on the web that use your weight as well as waist/hip ratio to measure fat.

Personally, I wouldn't question BF's honesty with you. I'm sure he loves the way you look. He's also probably a tad worried that since you have such a hard time emotionally accepting that you're not gross that weight loss may be difficult for you to turn off in the future once you get started. You know your BF better than all of us, so if you believe he'd tell you if you put on weight, then I'm sure he would. Not all men are terrified. My hubby knows that I'd rather hear from him that something just doesn't look right on me (something that used to fit - there's the hint, lol) than go out in it. IN FACT, I force him to go shopping with me for that very reason. He is the most honest about how something looks on me and if I can successfully pull off a look or not.

It all depends on your relationship with your man and how sensitive you are about criticism.

daryls

I love the "your boyfriend is not going to tell you the truth" comment. My husband does tell me the truth....and I love him and dislike him for it at the same time. But, in the long run, it keeps me accountable. (I'm honest with him too....)

As for BMI, no two bodies are the same. The fact that you are asking the question and asking for others' advice makes me think that you have some concerns about your weight. I agree with the others, see a doctor and have a CBC done and look at your overall health, not just your weight.

Best of luck!

binary_jester

I think both sexes can be accused of asking questions they really don't want an answer to.

Was I your first?
Was I your best?
Did you fall asleep on every guy before? (ok, this might just be me. )

JakeNonne

Body dysmorphic disorder is the preoccupation of an imagined defect in appearance which may result in depression or anxiety. I think your decision to lose weight and get fit will surely build your confidence and probably alleviate your BDD. And you have a great community here to support you.

I think your boyfriend loves you and is being quite honest with you. He's a VERY lucky man. If he's hot for you now, imagine how nuts you will drive him as you move towards your goal.

jb_sweet_99

I think u look great!

ZacFields

I didn't get a chance to read all the posts so I apologize if this has already been addressed.

Let's put it this way, I am 6'2" and I weight about 215 or 220.

My favorite football player, Miles Austin, has the exact same height and weight. By BMI standards, we are both overweight. Here is an image of me and an image of him...




As you can see, I need to lose weight... I think Miles is probably fine though. lol.

In short, as long as you are healthy and you're comfortable with your weight, that's all that matters. I think BMI says that someone my height could weigh as little as 130 pounds and be in the "normal" range. I weighed 160 in high school and I was a TWIG. There's no way that someone at 6'2" could weigh 130 pounds and look normal at all.

neelia

Um OK...her BF is not telling the truth?! Maybe I read that wrong, but it seems an odd thing to say, lol. He said that she looks good and does not look overweight!

No, you read that correct. No boyfriend is going to tell his girlfriend she is overweight. That is setting himself up for disaster. Does he think she looks good? Absolutely. Does he think she looks over weight? You will never know. However, judging from her photo and height/weight, yes she is over weight. Is she obese? Absolutely not. Hence, that said it is up to her on how she feels about the way she looks and feels.

Come on people there is no need to candy coat it here. She has her boyfriend for that. We are all here on this site to lose weight and/or get fit. We should at least be able to tell each other the honest truth.

I agree- unless your boyfriend is a mentally abusive a-hole, it isn't likely that he will tell you if you are overweight. Even when I was at my heaviest weight (and seriously...seriously...overweight) my husband NEVER told me that I needed to lose weight., and he WILL never tell me because he knows how much it hurts me to even hear it.

& the guy I quoted is correct- we should be able to tell the honest truth. We are all here for the same reason- to lose weight and get fit! There should be no shame here as we are all looking to attain the same general goal.

I, personally, think you look FABULOUS and would kill to look as good as you! From looking at your photos, I would say you look like you are at a healthy weight. If you are happy with the way you look, that is all that matters! However, you would be in the healthy weight BMI range by losing only 8 lbs, so if you would be happier seeing your BMI on track...then by all means strive for it!

Either way you're gorgeous!

abyt42

"Honey, does this dress make me look fat" ?

My husband's answer: "Not any fatter than you look in the rest of your clothes."

20 years, and still going...

neelia

Oops- I also meant to add that I do NOT think your boyfriend is lying to you. I think he loves the way you look just as you are (How could he not?) I'm just saying that most men, in general, won't tell the utter and complete truth because they know the reaction of their women.

HealthyChanges2010

I didn't get a chance to read all the posts so I apologize if this has already been addressed.

Let's put it this way, I am 6'2" and I weight about 215 or 220.

My favorite football player, Miles Austin, has the exact same height and weight. By BMI standards, we are both overweight. Here is an image of me and an image of him...




As you can see, I need to lose weight... I think Miles is probably fine though. lol.

In short, as long as you are healthy and you're comfortable with your weight, that's all that matters. I think BMI says that someone my height could weigh as little as 130 pounds and be in the "normal" range. I weighed 160 in high school and I was a TWIG. There's no way that someone at 6'2" could weigh 130 pounds and look normal at all.

Miles is lookin' *damn fine*... for real!:blushing:

Edited to add: and you're working on it and look good yourself, glad you shared the comparison on how 2 ppl can be the same stats but it can look differently on each of us. Being a football player the guy is in constant workout mode so that's gonna make all the difference in the world.

You're not too bad yourself in your 'bay watch' photo:laugh: Miles' pecs just caught me off guard is all and that's why he got first mention.:blushing: :laugh: