Fat Shaming

MKEgal

I believe it is poor manners to stare at anyone in public unless they're up on stage performing. And no, I don't mean some figurative they tattooed themselves stage. I mean literally up on stage with lights and guitars and all.

If someone has an appearance outside the norm, often they've done it on purpose to draw attention, so they _want_ to be looked at.
Or in the case of religious garb, it allows them to say, "oh poor me, I'm being persecuted, aren't I such a good [insert religion here]?"

That's rarely the case with someone who's fat. I have read of a few people who _want_ to be grossly, morbidly obese, want the attention, want the special treatment, think it's attractive, but most people know it's a bad thing.

Walmart often charges extra for clothes bigger than XXL - is that fat shaming

If they don't charge less for smaller clothes, then yes, they're being discriminatory.
The excuse is that they have to use more cloth to make them.
Well, yes, you do. But you don't charge $6 for the shirt in XS, $8 for the S, $10 for the M, $12 for the L, and $14 for the XL, you just charge $10 for everything that's L or less, then bump the price to $14 when you get to the fat sizes.

KnM0107

The phrase "fat shaming" has been overused to the point it doesn't mean much. Doctors are not fat shaming when they tell a patient they need to lose weight. The airport is not fat shaming when they ask for an obese person to buy two seats if they actually need two seats. I am not fat shaming my larger friends by posting before and after pictures on FB.

If someone is truly being bullied, I will stand up for the person being bullied.

fwiw: I have received more criticism since losing weight then I ever received when I was fat.

KelGen02

All of us -- fat, thin, in between -- deserve to live in our bodies without harassment. Period.

^^^^ This

earlnabby

To me, fat shaming is either holding someone up to public ridicule because of their weight or deliberately saying things in order to embarrass them. It is not a doctor telling someone that they need to lose weight. It is not an airline requesting that someone buy a second seat (unless they do it publicly).

Shimmysista

I dislike it and do you know what i actually think is worse? When overweight women do it to skinny women and call it body empowerment ( and i've been obese for the last 20 years til recently ) Hypocritical as all get out!

If you want acceptance don't put down another body type to do it.

EmmieBaby

To me, fat shaming is either holding someone up to public ridicule because of their weight or deliberately saying things in order to embarrass them. It is not a doctor telling someone that they need to lose weight. It is not an airline requesting that someone buy a second seat (unless they do it publicly).

^^ I agree completely

also I have and will defend those who are publicly ridiculed for their weight/gender/height/skin color/sexual preference/whatever

I lost a friend due to suicide because she was constantly attacked for either her weight or the fact she was gay...and I'll be damned if I let another girl/boy go through the same alone.

Leather_N_Lace

Unfortunately this hits too close to home for me. I am going thru a divorce because I can no longer deal with the way my husband treats me over my weight. (back story, I was about 120 pounds when I met him and just coming off of a long meth habit) No matter how much weight I lose, it will never be enough. When I would share my success, he would come back with, "is that your goal? or "you shouldn't have gained 100 pounds huh?" These are just a couple of the things he would say. The rest are probably too inappropriate for the forums. In a nutshell, he would no longer take me out to dinner, movies etc because he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public and absolutely no intimacy. We actually would go days without talking to each other.

So... It took me 10 years to leave the man I loved who couldn't see past my size. What i have found is that his words have left quite a lasting impression. I see all of my flaws now. Not just the ones weight related. Where i once found beauty and strength, I now see imperfection and a time in my life I was weak.

So would I stand up for someone else who say was being disrespected for their weight.. Most definitely. I would try to be tactful about it but I may end up having to call a close friend to bail me out of jail.. Simply because it hits so close to home.

PMA140

Maybe I live in a bubble, but I tend to see a lot more of people fat shaming or body shaming themselves rather than other people actually poking fun at them. I say negative things about myself and because of that even my four year old son has said some things that hurt my feelings. I can't blame him for what he picked up from me. It did make me try to be more conscious of what I say even if I can't help the way I feel.
If it's coming from strangers they are *kitten* and you can't do much about that. If if's coming from family or friends they can be set straight or set free.

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RHachicho

LOTS of fat shamers here but what do you expect from a forum where its members often recommend weight loss over sustained mental happiness.

What are you talking about? Any actual fat (or other) shaming here gets silenced pretty quickly.
And the most vocal and successful posters here are huge advocates for finding balance and sustainability in your life and making weight loss as sanity-preserving as possible. So really, what the hell are you talking about?

I don't think there are any actual open fat shamers on here. But honestly with some people you can tell from their attitudes. I just ignore them these days because I know they can't go too far without breaking forum rules. So they wont be too annoying. Usually the type of people who have been healthy all their lives and start talking down to people with 100lbs or so to lose like its an easy task and they should stop being so stupid.

Honestly it's a forum. There will be nasty people sometimes you will be one of them. I was brought up recently for body shaming myself. I didn't really realize I was doing it. But I was being rather insulting to skinny people. Probably as more of a knee-jerk defensive reaction than out of any real malice. It's probably the same with those that have always been healthy. They really don't get the obstacles that a lifetime of habitual overeating and the sheer physical drag factor of all that flab play into weight loss. But I was body shaming all the same and so are they. We all just keep learning. And hopefully tomorrow we are less of an *kitten* than today. That's a win in my book.

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seltzermint555

I think it's an a*hole thing to do, and yes I would.

This.

This, definitely.

I've stood up for people even when they didn't even know they were being made fun of. A couple of years ago when I was still very obese I went into a Starbucks where two other women around my own age, mid 30's (not teens or 20-somethings) who worked there were totally making fun of a female customer who had just left, who was probably mid 30's too and much larger than I and was using a cane. She apparently got a high cal drink and some pastries and they were saying how "wow, she didn't need that". They were trying to INCLUDE me in their little circle of fat bashing by getting me into the conversation...oh hell no...

I went off on those 2 women, in such a way that made them look stricken and one of them got really argumentative with me at first, she was like, "I didn't mean you, you're not that big. You look good". I was like, "NO. That is so not the point. I guess you just don't get it. I understand this probably isn't your dream career but at least have an OUNCE of professionalism, please".

It totally ticked me off. On the brighter side, I left immediately and went to a way better local coffee shop.

Mr_Knight

The excuse is that they have to use more cloth to make them.
Well, yes, you do. But you don't charge $6 for the shirt in XS, $8 for the S, $10 for the M, $12 for the L, and $14 for the XL, you just charge $10 for everything that's L or less, then bump the price to $14 when you get to the fat sizes.

Difference in amount of fabric doesn't scale linearly. There is little difference between, for example, M and L. There is a HUGE difference between XXL and 3XL.

What Walmart is doing makes perfect economic/manufacturing sense.

seltzermint555

The excuse is that they have to use more cloth to make them.
Well, yes, you do. But you don't charge $6 for the shirt in XS, $8 for the S, $10 for the M, $12 for the L, and $14 for the XL, you just charge $10 for everything that's L or less, then bump the price to $14 when you get to the fat sizes.

Difference in amount of fabric doesn't scale linearly. There is little difference between, for example, M and L. There is a HUGE difference between XXL and 3XL.

What Walmart is doing makes perfect economic/manufacturing sense.

I hate Walmart but yeah...I agree.

Raynne413

The excuse is that they have to use more cloth to make them.
Well, yes, you do. But you don't charge $6 for the shirt in XS, $8 for the S, $10 for the M, $12 for the L, and $14 for the XL, you just charge $10 for everything that's L or less, then bump the price to $14 when you get to the fat sizes.

Difference in amount of fabric doesn't scale linearly. There is little difference between, for example, M and L. There is a HUGE difference between XXL and 3XL.

What Walmart is doing makes perfect economic/manufacturing sense.

I hate Walmart but yeah...I agree.

I'll second this!!