I don't feel like I could ever be that thin person

smantha32

I'm 6 stone overweight and have PCOS. I have been advised by my doctors to lose weight but it doesn't sink in, it just makes me want to buy a bag of m&ms. I got married last year, even that couldn't motivate me into a diet and I looked huge on the day. I feel the pitying looks from people when I try and look nice. I can't wear heels for long. I get sweaty really quickly. My thighs rub together in a skirt and cause me agony. I have awful skin. I get heartburn. I have awful stretch marks. I struggle to cut my toenails. I shy away from sex. I hate how fat my face is. Nothing looks nice on me. People look down on me. It makes me sad when my husband says I look nice. I feel judged by everyone. I love to travel but I'm put off going away because I get tired so easily. I am so so unhappy. Yet the thought of anyone seeing me do any exercise in a gym fills me with humiliation and dread. I feel like people will s****** at me trying to way healthy because what's the point. I've been overweight my whole life and always felt conspicuous but over the last two years I've put on about 3 stone with no sign of it shifting. I don't know how to get myself in the frame of mind. I don't know where to start. I don't know what to eat. I can't imagine myself ever not feeling fat and self conscious and it makes me think what's the point of making myself miserable in the gym because it won't make any difference. So this is what I'm dealing with before I've even begun. Not the best start....

Sounds like you have a bunch of reasons to get going on it!

There are a lot of people here who have gotten rid of a lot of weight. You can too.

smantha32

Walking!!!

Yes. I lost 50 pounds walking.

And I have a friend who lost 80 pounds by switching coke for water. nothing else.

hearthwood

That's a sad defeatist attitude, that you're going to have to overcome. You're worth it. You can do this, it won't be easy, but anything worth the effort isn't easy.

I would suggest you walk into the gym like you own it, and stay with it. In that alone you will gain in self esteem and confidence in every single workout. It will boost your energy level, it's well known for curing depression, it will help in your weight loss, and overall you'll feel better. Find a routine that you like to do, it can be sports. Swimming, tennis, whatever, anything that gets your heart rate up. Wear your sweat like a badge of honor.

Log in every day, being faithful about listing everything you eat and drink. You'll have your blow it days, just make certain that the majority are good days.

Only you can do this. Good luck, stay with it, no matter how long it takes, and then you'll find a much healthier, happier you.

kikityme

I've been obese my entire life. And not by 30 either

I always had an excuse, "I don't need to, people will laugh at me, the people who laugh don't matter...etc. etc. etc."

You'll be ready when you come up with new excuses. "I don't want to die of heart disease...cancer sure would suck...diabetes AND PCOS? No thank you." (all a risk for long term pcos.)

For me it changed from "I don't need to, people will laugh at me, the people who laugh don't matter...etc. etc. etc." to "Gee, I would like to keep both my feet and not go blind." After that mental shift, the rest came easy. From what I read of PCOS, you might look into a keto or a low carb diet. Before I was diagnosed type 2, I was thinking it might be PCOS.

And to add to the list of walkers, good diet and 40 minutes walking = 40 pounds so far.

LAT1963

A lot of the advice given to diabetics about diet can also help people with PCOS.

A simple, non-threatening way to start is just to log what you normally eat here on mfp. Chances are you don't realize what you eat, what has lots of calories, what has lots of nutrients, etc. So just observe yourself for a week or a month.

While logging, read about PCOS. Find out what diet strategies have worked well for others with PCOS. Overall, your calorie balance will have to be negative for you to lose weight. But you have some leeway in how you get to this negative calorie balance. You can eat smaller portions. You can bias your diet away from fat, or away from carbohydrate (for PCOS, avoiding carbs is probably a better choice). You can deliberately eat high-fiber foods (ie: lots of vegetables, or add chia). You could go pescetarian, vegetarian, or vegan.

You need to find the plan that leaves you least hungry when you eat within your calorie targets, so that it is easier to stick to.

I have found that I need to exercise at least 400 calories a day--then I can eat those additional 400 calories and not be hungry. If I rely only on diet, then I'm still hungry when I have to stop eating for the day. For me, I also find I feel more full on 100 calories of protein/fat (ie: meat) than on 100 calories of carbohydrate. Either way, those 100 calories would make the same amount of weight gain or loss--the difference is in how *hungry* I feel, and therefore in how likely I am to stick to my diet limits.

You will need to try different things to find out which combination works for you.