Dealing with a "food bully"?

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  • americangirlok
    americangirlok Posts: 228 Member
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    Ugh people "helping" so obnoxious! I'm sorry they are all making it so uncomfortable for you. I'd be counting the days to go back to college and do what's best for you and in the interim either ignore them or say in a really sweet, kill 'em w/ kindness way "what I've been doing has worked so far- so I don't see this as broke and needing fixing- but if it turns out you're right I'll seek your advice then."
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    I am really glad to hear this is only for a short time. I read through the first post once, then read others' advice...and was thinking along the same lines.

    Then I read the OP again.

    And caught the words "younger sister". Somehow I guess the first read-through, I thought it was someone else doing the policing like a stepmother, grandmother, or someone else mentioned...

    YOUNGER. SISTER.

    I would put my foot down and tell her to stop commenting on my food intake. I might ask her why the hell she's camped out in the kitchen 24/7 also. If she persisted, I'd go the F off on her, in short order -- and tell her exactly what I thought of her ridiculous food bullying and let her know that I would NEVER accept that kind of treatment from her.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    Um, punch her in the face. I'm serious. She's your sister, you're still young enough to get away with fighting, and shoot, why not? She deserves it.
  • KCMission
    KCMission Posts: 43 Member
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    I agree with Sparklefrogz - my personal response to people when they make unwelcome comments is "Thank you for your concern".

    Case in point, i was given a shirt as a gift that was a size Large, and I'm currently in a small/medium. My dear hubby (tongue in cheek) laughed and said "Don't worry you'll grow into it". He's lucky there was a table between us or he would have worn a plate to the head, but instead I looked at him and simply smiled and said, "Thanks so much for your support".

    He felt like an *kitten* - which he was, but he got it.
  • d0v3r13
    d0v3r13 Posts: 61 Member
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    get through the 11 days as undramatically as possible. your siser has likely picked up the NPD from your dad, which means she's feeling threatened by you making positive changes for yourself. nothing you do or say is going to make the situation better until they begin to seek help, and they likely won't. keep your head focused on your goals, ignore them. narcissist don't care if you respond or not, they are performing for an audience of one, themselves. ignore it, don't fight it, don't let it get to you, and try to never put yourself in that environment ever again. they are toxic people who will only ever try to tear you down and you don't deserve that. also, maybe look into some counseling services, probably available through the school, for yourself. its incredibly traumatizing to grow up with family like that and it would help you a lot just to talk it out a little bit.
  • Fatandfifty3
    Fatandfifty3 Posts: 419 Member
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    Sometimes kiddo you just can't win... so the answer is ...Fight dirty.

    For example-
    Q. "Isn't that going to ruin your diet for the day?"
    Ans. With bald stare whilst taking a big bite " Yeah probably."

    The idea here is that the sanctimonious and patronising person will give up and back off when not being fed by an 'appropriate' response from you. They want to get a rise from you. Don't give it.
    It is only 11 days. Stick to your diet plan. Don't let them ruin your take on your life.

    (I'm in your corner for you. I lived in a similar situation. If you'd like to friend me do so.)
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    Um, punch her in the face. I'm serious. She's your sister, you're still young enough to get away with fighting, and shoot, why not? She deserves it.

    Actually, I think a slap is better.
  • Mouse_Potato
    Mouse_Potato Posts: 1,503 Member
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    I would make them sit down with me every time they said something and listen as I explain in painstaking detail why I am able to fit whatever food it was in to my plan. I would show them my target calories and explain what each macronutrient is and why it is important and how my choice of food fits my plan. I would run reports, print out charts detailing my progress, show projected weight loss, etc.. Then I would start asking them about their eating habits and offering tips on how they could improve.

    But then I'm kind of a b-word.
  • DoingTheNeedful
    DoingTheNeedful Posts: 23 Member
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    Ah crap I misread that too. It's not the stepmother, but the younger sister that's being a ****.

    Yeah, headphones all the way, or give her noogies until she promises to stop. Or the passive-aggressive lip-smacking food crunching right in front of her face. Long drawn out commentary about how you're soooo glad that this reasonably sized bowl of ice cream fits your macros perfectly, and how absolutely delicious it is.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    Sometimes kiddo you just can't win... so the answer is ...Fight dirty.

    For example-
    Q. "Isn't that going to ruin your diet for the day?"
    Ans. With bald stare whilst taking a big bite " Yeah probably."

    The idea here is that the sanctimonious and patronising person will give up and back off when not being fed by an 'appropriate' response from you. They want to get a rise from you. Don't give it.
    It is only 11 days. Stick to your diet plan. Don't let them ruin your take on your life.

    (I'm in your corner for you. I lived in a similar situation. If you'd like to friend me do so.)

    Actually I like that. Just agree with her. And keep doing what you're doing until you feel you're not "fat" anymore.
  • trinatrina1984
    trinatrina1984 Posts: 1,018 Member
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    Walk around the house like this:

    OatmealNope_zpsd2a947db.png

    Ha I like this
  • laura2813
    laura2813 Posts: 84 Member
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    honestly, your family sounds like a bunch of *kitten*.

    if you HAVE to continue living there, you could start with the civil route. explain to them that you are making progress and that their commentary is not only unwelcome, but hurtful.
    if that doesnt work, and i hope it does, i would try ignoring them or killing them with kindness. that seems to REALLY irk people when they realize they are not getting the best of you.

    "thats gonna make you fat"
    *smile* "gee, i sure hope not!" *walk away*

    final option A. is to verbally abuse the family. tell your sister she's looking a little puffy herself. tell stepmom it's too bad she couldnt find a different family to infiltrate and poison. remind gram that her end is likely coming soon. tell dad his genetics are the issue and you wish you had a stronger bloodline.

    final option B. is to kick the **** out of your sister as a reminder to the rest of them that you are on a mission and you are not to be crossed.

    I really love this reply and wish I would have been this way with my family when I was younger but I didn't have the nerve. Please don't do like I did and let your family treat you this way. Speak up for yourself and if it continues that will give you further reason to be a successful adult out on your own so you don't have to take this type of abuse.

    It sounds harsh to some people but I had to distance my family (lots of distance) from myself and my children for us to have a peaceful life. Not the way I wanted it but it's the best decision I've ever made. Hope you find something that works for you and your family.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
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    Headphones and LOUD music when in the kitchen!!

    And sing loudly to drown them out when they start off.

    My Mom used to do the same. When I came back from college one year, she opened the door and her greeting was "You're looking fat", so you're not the first one to experience this.

    There is no rule that says family or friends are going to support you when you make changes in your life, but as you count down the last few days before college, keep repeating that getting through this, focusing on executing your plans and succeeding despite difficulties, will make you a MUCH stronger person. Essentially, you'll be invincible.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
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    I really love this reply and wish I would have been this way with my family when I was younger but I didn't have the nerve. Please don't do like I did and let your family treat you this way. Speak up for yourself and if it continues that will give you further reason to be a successful adult out on your own so you don't have to take this type of abuse.

    It sounds harsh to some people but I had to distance my family (lots of distance) from myself and my children for us to have a peaceful life. Not the way I wanted it but it's the best decision I've ever made. Hope you find something that works for you and your family.

    Me too. Like 3000 miles of distance. That and a heart-to-heart with my Mom in which I told her to shut the ***k up or I would never visit/speak to her again. That worked quite well.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    get your food
    wait for the proverbial comment
    do the slow blink/look
    take a big bite of said food
    burst into song (beyonce works well)
    or perhaps all about the bass
    and twerk your way obscenely out of the kitchen singing loudly- don't let her say anything else- or stop for her to speak.

    then when you get to the door- stop look take another bite and just keep walking.


    So I don't deal well with food bully's- meaning- i'm not having it.

    so- I often will say nothing for a while- and then after I take a particularly large duece- I'll make a big announcement and when they look super shocked- i just look shocked back and say- well you had taken such an interest in my well being I assumed you wanted regular and thorough updates- I was just trying to help you out.

    also

    I can dead lift XXX pounds? how much can you dead lift??
    <well I don't care about that>
    Oh you mean kind of like I don't care what you think about what food i eat???
    ... then walk out.

    "I didn't know you cared so much- since you care so much- you're going to get up at 5 AM to go to the gym with me right?"

    " Dayum sis- I knew you were boring- but I didn't know your life sucked so much you had to live vicariously through mine- sucks to be you" ... drops mic... walks out.

    You have two options
    ignore- deflect- or attack with same same.

    I personal don't like ignoring- it's not potent enough for my tastes- but those are really you're choices
    ignore
    deflect
    attack.

    or all three.

    Good luck- it's 11 days-you can do it!!!
  • riotatme23
    riotatme23 Posts: 56 Member
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    Misery loves company. She obviously has her own issues to work out and is projecting them onto you. Don't stress it, just hang in there. You've lost 20lbs already, don't let anyone stand in your way.
  • breefoshee
    breefoshee Posts: 398 Member
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    Out-crazy the crazies.

    Next time they say something, do something really obnoxious like shove a whole handful of noodles in your mouth and stare at them intensely.

    ETA: Actually... this is much better than what I had in mind::
    get your food
    wait for the proverbial comment
    do the slow blink/look
    take a big bite of said food
    burst into song (beyonce works well)
    or perhaps all about the bass
    and twerk your way obscenely out of the kitchen singing loudly- don't let her say anything else- or stop for her to speak.

    then when you get to the door- stop look take another bite and just keep walking.
  • Shalaurise
    Shalaurise Posts: 707 Member
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    Being the generally passive aggressive b*tch that I am I would likely look at them, blink a couple times, grab a second of whatever it was I was getting and then walk away... sometimes in silence, other times with snark.
  • laura2813
    laura2813 Posts: 84 Member
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    I really love this reply and wish I would have been this way with my family when I was younger but I didn't have the nerve. Please don't do like I did and let your family treat you this way. Speak up for yourself and if it continues that will give you further reason to be a successful adult out on your own so you don't have to take this type of abuse.

    It sounds harsh to some people but I had to distance my family (lots of distance) from myself and my children for us to have a peaceful life. Not the way I wanted it but it's the best decision I've ever made. Hope you find something that works for you and your family.

    Me too. Like 3000 miles of distance. That and a heart-to-heart with my Mom in which I told her to shut the ***k up or I would never visit/speak to her again. That worked quite well.

    I wish it was that easy for my family!! I had many talks and they still didn't get it. With a controlling father and a mother that goes along with the abuse and thinks she knows best I ended up in a legal battle with my parents to keep them from barging into my home and going through mine & my husbands stuff while I was not home. It scared the pooh out of my teenagers when they were taken advantage of to gain access.

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