Dealing with a "food bully"?

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  • trinatrina1984
    trinatrina1984 Posts: 1,018 Member
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    get your food
    wait for the proverbial comment
    do the slow blink/look
    take a big bite of said food
    burst into song (beyonce works well)
    or perhaps all about the bass
    and twerk your way obscenely out of the kitchen singing loudly- don't let her say anything else- or stop for her to speak.

    Oh please do this.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Out-crazy the crazies.

    Next time they say something, do something really obnoxious like shove a whole handful of noodles in your mouth and stare at them intensely.

    yup.

    go straight to def-con10 people tend to stop effing with you when you just jump straight to the wildly inappropriate. it's hysterical.
    get your food
    wait for the proverbial comment
    do the slow blink/look
    take a big bite of said food
    burst into song (beyonce works well)
    or perhaps all about the bass
    and twerk your way obscenely out of the kitchen singing loudly- don't let her say anything else- or stop for her to speak.

    Oh please do this.
    seriously- sometimes you just gotta go way over board- it's so awesome.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    final option B. is to kick the **** out of your sister as a reminder to the rest of them that you are on a mission and you are not to be crossed.

    This one^ Knock her *kitten* out!
  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,709 Member
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    get through the 11 days as undramatically as possible. your siser has likely picked up the NPD from your dad, which means she's feeling threatened by you making positive changes for yourself. nothing you do or say is going to make the situation better until they begin to seek help, and they likely won't. keep your head focused on your goals, ignore them. narcissist don't care if you respond or not, they are performing for an audience of one, themselves. ignore it, don't fight it, don't let it get to you, and try to never put yourself in that environment ever again. they are toxic people who will only ever try to tear you down and you don't deserve that. also, maybe look into some counseling services, probably available through the school, for yourself. its incredibly traumatizing to grow up with family like that and it would help you a lot just to talk it out a little bit.
    Well said! This is excellent advice.
  • sweetbippy
    sweetbippy Posts: 189 Member
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    You might just be my new hero.
  • dawnmcneil10
    dawnmcneil10 Posts: 638 Member
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    I absolutely hate food bullies, don't judge me and I won't judge you. Now while I love the *****-slap idea it's probably not going to gain anything but you could visualize that every time she says something. Reach in the fridge and when you come out with whatever food smile big and bright at her and walk away, singing a favorite tune is a bonus.

    You've only got a few more days for this visit and then you'll be free of judgement zone. It sounds to me like you're doing wonderful things for yourself so don't let them get you down.

    Of course the last day you're there you could stock up the kitchen with horrible junk food items and giggle all the way back to school. :)
  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,709 Member
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    On a high level, you only have so many options.

    Generally speaking, I like to start with open communication. Discuss the situation with these people in an honest, non combative way. if that doesn't work, you can: A) figure out some way of dealing with the environment, or B) remove yourself from it.

    Alternatively, you can do nothing in stay miserable. As far as figuring out how to deal with the environment, sometimes I have to remind myself that emotionally disturbed people make all kinds of statements, but I don't have to listen to them. Their role in my life is irrelevant. Being family doesn't preclude someone from being ignored as a negative influence (after I've discussed the issue with them) in my book.
    This is also very important to remember. And even if it is only 11 days right now, if you will be living with and/or near these people in the future make sure your college education affords you the opportunity to relocate!
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    Normally when it comes to siblings I stand by the "no, really, you're not too old for me to put you in a headlock, see?" approach, but since you say you are returning to college and she's just getting back from your jerk of a dad's house, I have to wonder how much of this is just her projecting her emotions. Perhaps your dad's family was horrible to her when she was there, and now she sees her ally about to leave her to deal with all this nonsense on her own, so she's taking it out on you. Basically, if she's horrible to you before you leave, she doesn't have to face the part of herself that is scared/anxious/going to miss you. Or she's just a jerk too, but I figured I'd try for a benefit of the doubt response.
  • breefoshee
    breefoshee Posts: 398 Member
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    Out-crazy the crazies.

    Next time they say something, do something really obnoxious like shove a whole handful of noodles in your mouth and stare at them intensely.

    yup.

    go straight to def-con10 people tend to stop effing with you when you just jump straight to the wildly inappropriate. it's hysterical.
    get your food
    wait for the proverbial comment
    do the slow blink/look
    take a big bite of said food
    burst into song (beyonce works well)
    or perhaps all about the bass
    and twerk your way obscenely out of the kitchen singing loudly- don't let her say anything else- or stop for her to speak.

    Oh please do this.
    seriously- sometimes you just gotta go way over board- it's so awesome.

    Seriously! This is my life's motto. A few years ago working in retail, I would get customers that would over-react over dumb stuff. I would double their over reaction by clearing a counter of clothes with one arm and breathing intensely. LOL they would just slowly walk out.
  • Archerychickge
    Archerychickge Posts: 606 Member
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    You could also just keep a big jar of bacon grease in the fridge and when they policy your food, grab it and a spoon and offer them a bite.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    IMHO, you have two choices... Talk to them about it or ignore it and hope it goes away. I personally prefer the first choice because I find that most people don't figure things out on their own so talking about it helps solve the problem.

    I had to deal with food police my whole life. It's one thing when you're a child and don't have much of a choice but once you're an adult, you are allowed to make your own decisions. You don't have to be mean or violent, just talk to her.

    Example: I made baked egg cups a couple weeks ago and Hubs thought that wasn't a very healthy choice.
    Me: Oh really? What's not healthy about it?
    Him: Greasy eggs and ham
    Me: There's no grease. I used Pam on the muffin tin. The ham is lean and eggs are good for you.
    Him: (silence)
    Me: (*kitten* eating grin)

    I like the idea of thanking her for her concern but add "I've lost 20 pounds already, I think I've got this figured out" and add a big smile then walk out.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    I find biting sarcasm to be an effective response to passive aggressive *kitten* hats. "Thanks for your input, sis, I've always been impressed by your medical degree and love handles."
  • RabbitLost
    RabbitLost Posts: 333 Member
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    I find biting sarcasm to be an effective response to passive aggressive *kitten* hats. "Thanks for your input, sis, I've always been impressed by your medical degree and love handles."

    Oh, snap!
  • RHachicho
    RHachicho Posts: 1,115 Member
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    You've got some good advice already. But wanted to offer my sympathies anyway. My family has been very supportive of my weight loss. And has only been cautionary that I don't over do things and go the other way. But not to the point of anywhere near bullying. It must suck to have family members act like that towards you.
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
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    Honestly what I would do is once I leave in 11 days, I would never go back again. Those people have some serious issues!!
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    Step 1:
    Eat Burger King onion rings. LOTS OF THEM.

    Step 2:
    Take an enormous steaming dump in her shoe, on her bed, whatever. Placement isn't really that big a deal.

    Step 3:
    When she nags you about eating, you will EASILY be able to smile and walk away. Repeat the above steps EVERY SINGLE TIME she has something to say. If you can't poop that much, grab some from a neighbors dog. Preferably a Great Dane.
    Even the stupidest of animals eventually respond to negative consequences. Her bullying behavior will stop.

    Step 4:
    (While doing steps above... no need to wait!)
    Take out a personal ad on Craig's List. Include your stepmom's real name and photo (maybe photoshop a good body on it), but your father's cell phone number. In the ad, use words like, "lonely" and "nympho". Don't forget to mention "REALLY enjoy the company of the neighbor's Great Dane."

    If you do this, please let us know how it' turns out. I'll wait.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    Out-crazy the crazies.

    Next time they say something, do something really obnoxious like shove a whole handful of noodles in your mouth and stare at them intensely.

    yup.

    go straight to def-con10 people tend to stop effing with you when you just jump straight to the wildly inappropriate. it's hysterical.
    get your food
    wait for the proverbial comment
    do the slow blink/look
    take a big bite of said food
    burst into song (beyonce works well)
    or perhaps all about the bass
    and twerk your way obscenely out of the kitchen singing loudly- don't let her say anything else- or stop for her to speak.

    Oh please do this.
    seriously- sometimes you just gotta go way over board- it's so awesome.

    Seriously! This is my life's motto. A few years ago working in retail, I would get customers that would over-react over dumb stuff. I would double their over reaction by clearing a counter of clothes with one are and breathing intensely. LOL they would just slowly walk out.

    LOL. I used to manage an educational supply store and a lot of teachers would come in during the back to school rush being totally CRAZY with their expectations and demands. They would seriously flip out, scream, cry, whatever. I would provide great customer service to them if it had ANYTHING to do with our store...but most times it didn't, and my favorite method of dealing with them was to ask if they were okay, if I needed to call someone, tell them I was super concerned about their emotional situation and health etc. They would usually calm their jets and act someone reasonable, or get so embarrassed they would leave.

    I do something similar when a child is bugging me to an extreme in a store or restaurant and acting loco...I'll act all concerned and ask them if they know where their parents are or if they need help finding mommy. Usually their parents are nearby half-ignoring them and get really embarrassed.

    Yeah it's passive aggressive, which I normally frown upon in other areas of life...but the looks on faces...so priceless!
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    Do this:
    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[/img]
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
    Options
    get your food
    wait for the proverbial comment
    do the slow blink/look
    take a big bite of said food
    burst into song (beyonce works well)
    or perhaps all about the bass
    and twerk your way obscenely out of the kitchen singing loudly- don't let her say anything else- or stop for her to speak.

    then when you get to the door- stop look take another bite and just keep walking.

    ^ THIS!!!!!!

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