Miserable about my weight & tears over photo

shadow2soul

Don't give up. You can do this. I'm not gonna lie. It isn't always going to be easy and sometimes you are really going to want to give up, but if you stick to it a year from now, heck probably 6 months from now, you will be so glad that you did.

My highest weight was 260lbs and I'm only 5'4.5". :noway: I've had my ups and my downs. There have been plenty of times I wanted to give up. I actually did kind of give up once. It was before I started using MFP in 2012. I had been on such a strict diet, that when the holidays rolled around I gave in. It was stupid and well my own fault for putting myself under so many restrictions. I actually discovered MFP around that time, but didn't start using it until March the following year. I ended up gaining some of the weight I had lost back. Luckily I caught myself before I had regained it all. With the help of MFP and it's community, I was able to get down to 170lbs last year before getting pregnant. It sucks to think that in May of this year, instead of being close to my goal, I was back over 200lbs. I didn't worry about weight gain while I was pregnant. It was only after I had my c-section that I was like "dang it, here we go again." :laugh:

Meerataila

Save that picture. It will make a great before for when you get to after.

My highest weight was 245+. I hurt and I was so out of shape I could only exercise briefly and slowly starting out. So I did ten minute walks the first week. I was up to 20 by the next week. Then I went to 30 a week or two later. Before I knew it, I got bored and started running a few steps, even though I hadn't lost much weight. The body can recover surprisingly quickly and well from what we do to it.

Of course, you should if possible hop over to the doctor's office before starting a new workout and weight loss program.

Meanwhile, set small goals to break the task up into shorter periods. It's fun to give yourself non-food rewards when you hit a new time on your walks or runs, lose a few pounds, fit a new clothing size, or anything else you can think of. The key is to start and then don't stop. Even if you have a bad meal or a bad day or a bad week or even a bad month, don't let it make you give up. Just keep going and you will get back to a healthy weight.

MinnieInMaine

I totally get where you're coming from. Part of my initial motivation was due to pictures from a function I went to that were posted on Facebook. I was so completely horrified by how I looked, I seriously considered untagging myself but then realized that was my own issue and I needed to face facts and do something about it rather than continuing to deny the state I was in.

It took a few more months to fully kick in but I finally decided it was time for a change. I wasn't going to pressure myself this time, I was just going to try to make some small gradual changes and see if that would work better than the extreme dieting I'd tried in the past. And guess what, here I am 4.5 years later, still on the right path. I'm not saying I was perfect in anyway but I've definitely stuck with this longer than any previous attempt.

As for your husband, I'm glad you realize he can't be an excuse. But he can be an ally. Let him know how you feel and that you really want to make a change and would appreciate his support. He doesn't have to change with you but some help with meal prep, grocery shopping, etc would be nice. And maybe you two could start taking walks together or something like that.
My Hubs doesn't want to have anything to do with exercise but he's been good about healthier eating for the most part. I still make a lot of the same things, I just tweak the ingredients a bit to make them lighter dishes and watch my portions.

Good luck to you!

changingL1sa

Hey! I'm in a similar situation, hating what I see in pictures and feeling pretty discouraged. But we can do it! One day at a time. Feel free to add me, we can support each other

MKEgal

:flowerforyou: Sounds very stressful & unhappy.
But you can change some of it.

My ankles and knees hurt which makes it harder to get back into exercise.

"Most weight loss occurs because of decreased caloric intake.
However, evidence shows the only way to maintain weight loss is to be engaged in regular physical activity."
http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/physical_activity/index.html

So start with controlling calories in.
Do you know what's a healthy weight range for you? Here's a BMI chart. Look it up.
http://www.shapeup.org/bmi/bmi6.pdf
Multiply your healthy goal weight by 10, and that's the calories you eat. (Total, not net.) That's for losing weight.
When you get near goal, start tweaking it up by 50 - 100 until you're at goal & not losing any more. That should be about 15 cal per lb.

I hate how I look. I never let people take pics of me

Yep. Me too. The only ones I'm allowing now are every 15 lb I get someone at the gym to do a full-body shot, & I do a face shot.

I was going to post it for motiviation but I actually can't because it literally reduced me to tears and I very rarely cry.

Keep it where you can see it, and when you get to your goal you'll have a great "before".
Take pictures along the way too, every 15-20 lb, of your whole body & of your face.
And take measurements!!
Here's a blog post I did about motivation & encouragement:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/MKEgal/view/2014-07-24-motivation-encouragement-680938

I keep giving up on MFP because so much else in my life is stressing me out. ... I know there is no easy way but there has to be something to make it easier to stick to... I can't keep living on take-out food..... and I'm only 30.

As far as eating, you're going to have to cook. It's cheaper & healthier.
Here's a great site, always has tasty things, and most recipes have nutrition info: http://www.tasteofhome.com/
If you hover over "recipes" in the menu bar, a menu pops up that has all sorts of choices. Among them are "healthy" and "slow cooker". Start there. Slow cookers are wonderful, simple, not a lot of cleanup (if you use a bag, the cleanup is even easier!).

But there's no way to get around logging what you eat. You have to do it, and you have to be accurate about it (weigh, measure) so you have accurate info to help you get healthy again.

keefmac

Let today be the first day that you drop the excuses. All of them.

I was thinking the same thing..

evalen915

Stay with it girl! Sometimes we need reality checks like that to get our *kitten* in gear!!!!

DamePiglet

You are who you choose to be. You can't change what's happened, but you can surely change what's GOING to happen.

Every minute you waste crying over the past is a minute less you'll have in doing something productive for your future.

evitaevita12

Hi, I was on your boat at some point. I love my husband, but unfortunately our common hobbies are very unhealthy (watching TV and eating). For years I used this as an excuse not to take care of myself (because we spend so little time together, so I opted for the couch with him, versus a trail on my own. Finally I realized I cannot wait for him to change. I have to change myself first. Amazingly, he followed along. It took a while, about 6 months, when he started to go on walks and keeps asking me to join me. Sometimes we need to be a bit selfish and take care of ourselves first. You can do this! Being an example to others is also motivating. You will enjoy it! Just do it and watch and see. Good luck!

tmauck4472

First and foremost.......YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE BEING BULLIED by anyone. Your stress will go down when you get rid of that part of your life. And the best feeling in the world is to take control of it. Easier said than done you say? I say NO. Put your foot down or up their butt, but don't take it one more day. Shame on whoever is doing it but shame on you for not sticking up for YOU.
As for weight loss, one day at a time. Start small but basically eat less today than what you did yesterday. You do not have to exercise, exercise is for heart health. Once you start losing weight the exercise will be easier. I didn't exercise for the first 6 months and I did not change my way of eating once I did start and still lost the same amt. of weight.

gelendestrasse

It's painful to exercise when the weight is up. I hit 260# and it wasn't fun. But it can be done. For me it was cut out the carbs and get back on the bicycle. Ellipticals work well too. Anything low impact. I use MFP as a guide and I'm not glued to it all week but I do track what I eat. No pop, little starch, even giving up on beer. You can do it, stick with it, you'll be OK. Try to use exercise as a stress reliever, the endorphins from a good burn will make you feel better. Don't give up!

trulybeloved29

If you don't like what you see, change it! If you really want to change your appearance you can that's what I have to keep telling myself each day I am on this new journey. It's not easy but in the end all worth it! Don't give up!

kgreenRDLDN

Water aerobics are great for joint pain. It takes the weight off your joints and allows you to move with resistance. Its a great exercise and most gyms offer them if they have a pool. Some you can just pay for the classes, or even just buy a pass to a pool and work out on your own. its hard to find motivation when we are stressed out, but definitely making yourself get started is key. Even just 5 minutes is better than nothing! Keep going, and don't think you have to put up with bullying. If you need advice on that feel free to PM me as I can offer some friendly unbiased advice that may help you in dealing with the bullying.

JustinAnimal

I don't know if I ever hit the point you did, but I am constantly getting frustrated with my lack of will-power (when it comes to eating) and progress (with fat loss).

GET PISSED OFF!

Now, use that to motivate yourself. I won't say it's okay to be lazy, but if weight loss is what you're going for, 80% of the battle is diet. You're going to have to find some tricks (snack on raw veggies, drink tea instead of beer, eat fruit instead of candy bars, whatever) to eat under your calorie goal. Set realistic goals. Exercise when you can. Sometimes, slap yourself a little and force yourself to wake up early for a walk or a run, even if it's just once a week.

You CAN do this! It's just about forming good habits and staying consistent.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

BreaRader

You can totally do this! I've been pretty nervous of people taking my picture lately too, but I 110% agree with everyone so far that has said to SAVE THAT PICTURE! When you do lose the weight (because I know you can) you are gonna have a killer transformation photo. Never forget where you started!

But hey, as far as motivation goes, we all have that problem sometimes. Especially if you've already started on your journey, it can get hard to keep going if you're not seeing results yet. That's why it's so important to keep a positive attitude and surround yourself with people who are going to SUPPORT you and BELIEVE in you. You never know, maybe you will end up being the inspiration to your husband in the near future if he can see your transformation

ErinsAvon

IF you are ever wanting a friend in a similar situation... your looking at here. Just started almost a month ago 229.... Knee, feet back hurts all the time. Hate the way a feel. Don't want my Husband to touch me. Recently had family professional portraits taken, and I bawled when the proofs came back. I have lost 30 of the 60+ I need to lose before. I felt great! Then life happened and I gained it back plus. I am tired of being the fat girl. I know we are not suppose to care about superficial things, but I know I am not healthy. And I want to LOVE my life. All of it.

newdaydawning79

I was on here before at my highest weight (288.6) and lost 50 pounds. I was thrilled with the progress and what I was doing...then my world crumbled around me with losing my (pretty active) job, getting a new job that ended up being run by a scam artist, and grief from a death in the family. I gave up on my fitness and myself at that point - and I'm not making excuses, I have no one to blame but myself. I ended up gaining it all back plus another 5 pounds and absolutely hated myself for it.

So what did I do? I decided that I was going to take control and this time make it permanent. I cook at home most of the time now (try to make extras for leftovers so I don't have to cook as much during the week) and I walk at least 3 times a week, usually more. In the past month and a half I've lost 17 pounds and I'm so so proud of myself!

You can do it too! Turn the bullying and the feelings you get about that picture into motivation to do something about it. Feel free to add me if you'd like!

SingRunTing

A year from now you'll wish that you stuck to it. So stick to it and you won't have to regret it.

Trying and succeeding 5% of the time is better than not trying at all. It'll become easier and more habitual and that 5% will become 10%, 25%, 50%, etc. The difference is in realizing that you are human and will mess up sometimes, but you can just dust yourself off when you fail and move on.

You have two choices:
1. Give up (and regret it)
2. Keep trying (which will turn into success)

gdnplnty

Seeing that picture will indeed put it into perspective doesn't it. I hated my picture when I saw it. I mean, I could not believe that I looked like that. I must have been wearing rose-colored glasses because there is no way that I looked like that. I guess what we see in the mirror and what shows in the photograph is WAY WAY different. But don't worry, you will take another picture and see just how different you will look soon enough.

Please don't give up and quit. If you ever need someone to chat with, don't hesitate to drop a line. Always willing to lend a supporting hand when we need one. Or heck, just a shoulder to vent on.

melainamm

Hi Amy,

You just have to start. You don't have to follow some big life changing plan or perfectly work out every bite of food you will eat for the next month. Just start where you are today, because you are a human being who deserves some self love.

I have been depressed over my weight, and in a place where no small amount of change seemed possible. But if today you can dust off an old exercise dvd, or go for a 15 minute walk, or open a bag of salad and throw some chicken breast on top for dinner then you have started.

Just do the teensiest thing for yourself today. Accept some of the outpouring of love and advice that your post has brought to you, because we have ALL been exactly where you are today. I weighed 248 pounds this morning, but I got up and did a cardio dvd for 30 minutes and drank a protein shake for breakfast. You can do this for yourself and keep reaching out and telling your story because helping each other along this journey is a little good karma for each one of us.

Melaina