Miserable about my weight & tears over photo
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OMG I have just had a WONDERFUL idea. My sister is a really good cook. She has just finished school and is having a really hard time getting work. I am not loaded or anything but time is definitely more of an issue for me than money at the moment.
Soooooo.... I was tinking I could pay her to pop in one or two evenings a weeks and make a bit pot of stew or a shepards pie for freezing. When I am home we could do it together but when I have a super stressful week and have to work late/study she could let herself in and work away. She would be thrilled with the few bob and I will have help, which would be awesome.
W0 -
I know this won't stop me being "lazy" but I know I wouldn't be so rude as to sit on my butt whne my sister is there. Also if I can get the diet in check it will be easier to do the exercise. xx0
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So, if you can, pick a milestone thats coming up - vacation? new year? maybe register for a 5k or another fitness event - that you have to pay money for and therefore need to stick to a plan? family photos? or make one for yourself. Plan a reward like a vacation or a weekend get-away.
Thank you hun, I will send you an add. I actually do have a wonderful motivation. My hubby said he would take me on a second honeymoon to anywhere in the world that I would like to go when I get myself in a situation where am confident enough to wear a bikini. I put it out of my mind because I just didn't think I would ever feel that good again, maybe I should remind him of that and accept the challenge. x0 -
You can do it!!!
also be careful what you post on here.
i have noticed some people can be quite nasty
don't give up.
GOOD ADVICE!! Some people are online bullies! You would think that a site like this would be ok, but unfortunately there are some crude people on here!0 -
One good thing is - you reached out for support, go you!
The second thing is just do one healthy thing for two weeks. Just one.
Thank you hun. I am so glad I reached out, you have no idea. I was almost in tears (for the second time today and I really can't remember the last time I cried) reading all of the wonderful messages. I felt like giving up on me, but you guys didn't and having read all of the advice and tips I am not going to give up on me either. xx
My healthy thing will be to incorporate breakfast into my day, I know you will be horrified but I never eat breakfast, ever. I also don't get thirsty so I have to remind myself to drink liquids. Sometimes I go over a day not having drank anything and it's only when I get headaches that I remember, I have been doing much better with drinks lately so it's definitely time to sort out breakfast xx0 -
I struggle as well as lots of others. My help is that my husband (tho he CAN have some lazy tendencies) helps motivate me and reminds me what I'm fighting for! There are lots of supportive people on here (as well as Meanies lol). Set your mind to it and you CAN accomplish your goals. Never think that you are not beautiful for whatever reason though!! God made people unique and that uniqueness in itself makes you super beautiful!
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This is exactly how I started. With one picture. OMG I was so disgusted with myself when I saw that picture. I immediately started on MFP and haven't looked back. If you quit now where will you be a year from now?
But if you start now where will you be a year from now?
You are absolutely right. This morning I was ready to give up but after all of the kind words and isnpiurations today I feel that I am ready to start and it will be now becasue I don't want to be like this a minute longer x0 -
I was tinking I could pay her to pop in one or two evenings a weeks and make a bit pot of stew or a shepards pie for freezing.
That is a wonderful, awesome, fabulous idea!!! I think the biggest part of losing as much as we want to lose is learning all the little "life hacks" along way that will help save us from ourselves
My most important life hack is going to be eating dinner on my own terms. My sister is the cook in our house, and sometimes she gets home late and we all end up getting takeout. Lately though, I've been so starved after my workout that I simply can't wait so I've been eating earlier on my own terms. Even though I ate an entire frozen pizza all to myself, it was still a whole lot better than the mountain of hamburgers and poutine that my sister and her BF ate that night. I must admit, I felt a certain twinge of pride as I watched my much skinnier sister make a bad choice while I made a much better one.0 -
_Don't give up!!!!
_Don't worry about motivating your husband, keep yourself motivated. Maybe your results and resolve will motivate him
You're absolutely right and I know that. It is just so hard because we used to work together and see each other all of the time. Now he works elsewhere and we have so little time together that I want so badly for it to be somethign we do together.
I am going to chat with him one last time. If that doesn't work I am going to do me. Thanks hun x0 -
First and foremost.......YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE BEING BULLIED by anyone. Your stress will go down when you get rid of that part of your life. And the best feeling in the world is to take control of it. Easier said than done you say? I say NO. Put your foot down or up their butt, but don't take it one more day. Shame on whoever is doing it but shame on you for not sticking up for YOU.
As for weight loss, one day at a time. Start small but basically eat less today than what you did yesterday. You do not have to exercise, exercise is for heart health. Once you start losing weight the exercise will be easier. I didn't exercise for the first 6 months and I did not change my way of eating once I did start and still lost the same amt. of weight.
THIS THIS THIS!!0 -
It's a hard change but doable. You have to consider it a lifestyle change and not just a diet. I only started changing the way I ate first and then started with exercising after I lost about 15 lbs. Feel free to add me as a friend, I have an open diary to friends so you can get ideas from me if you'd like0
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I know it can be really hard. Some days it feels like there are only two kinds of people in the world - people who are crazy fit and people who couldn't care less about fitness. Being in the middle, or trying to get from one to the other, is definitely a struggle. If you need help with motivation, try the GymPact app! It seems silly, but it's actually working for me. What you do is basically bet on yourself. I bet $5 per workout that I will workout 3 times each week. At the end of the week the app charges the credit cards of people who don't make it, and gives the money to people who do! It's not much, probably less than a dollar of rewards each week, but hey, its free money!0
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Keep it simple... you are overwhelmed by the amount of work ahead of you... narrow your focus...and forget the scale... weight is the least significant metric in all of "this" ... so think about right now... FIND a way to stop loathing yourself... and Forgive yourself... then GIVE yourself permission to begin caring about you. within that self worth is the motivation you need to do for you what needs to be done... set realistic short term goals... begin putting some streaks together...DO low impact work... and LOG....LOG...LOG... take that first step... then a second.. and a third... As someone who didn't pay attention for a very long time... take it from me... there are plenty of pills that can help you find some peace... BUT you don't need that medication as long as you can move... use your body in a physical way... get all the body's systems functioning and things like anxiety... depression...paranoia... begin to fade and you begin to see the world with far more clarity...
We make time to eat... we take time to breath.. because those things keep us alive... LOOK at exercise the same way... exercise is something the human body needs in order to survive... do you make time to watch TV? and what exactly does THAT do for you?
I can't lie... there are lots of hurdles ahead of you... some big some small... but I guarantee.. the minute you start... you will feel better... and it ONLY gets better with each hurdle... Best of luck.0 -
I eat fast food, but I order only ONE thing from the value menu or dollar menu -- all the fast food places have some kind of inexpensive menu. The portions are generally smaller, so you have portion control that way. It's still crap food, but at least it's fewer calories, less expensive and still easy to do..............................................
I agree with batch cooking. Sometimes I'll get the ingredients for meatballs, for instance. Make a bunch of meatballs, figure out the calories. Cook them in jar pasta sauce with lots of added veggies. I like to add onion, bell peppers, tomatoes to the pasta sauce with the meatballs. ................................
I'm concerned about the bullying. If you can't do anything about it right now, do a bunch of research online to find out how other people deal with bullying, or just to learn more about why it happens. Knowledge is power!
That's a great idea. we have a "euro saver" menu here, same thing really but you're right, less cals and less expensive. I love the sound of your meatballs, will definitely try this out. The other thing I am stumped about. I have never let anyone bully me in all my life, I am a total extrovert and never ever even so much as got picked on in school. Unfortunately I cannot tackle this thing right now, there are reasons I can't explain but I have to just suck it up for a while....... am afraid I am going to loose my cool so i njust have to keep it together a while longer. Thank you for the support hun x0 -
Thanks hun xx
See yourself a year from now posting your success story, YOU CAN DO IT !!!!!0 -
So pick one thing. Maybe that one thing right now is laying out your work clothes the night before. Maybe it's getting a healthy snack ready the night before so in the morning you can just take it and go. Maybe it's buying a coffee maker with a timer so it will wake you up in the morning with lovely coffee smell. Just pick one thing, one small thing.
That's great idea hun, the small things really can make a difference, can't they? A coffee maker with a timer sounds so awesome! I have decided incorporating breakfast into my day will be my first big change. Would be really nice to have one thing to make my life nicer though, like somethign to look forard to..... I will have to think on this one, thanks hun x0 -
Laminate the picture and carry it with you always a reminder/motivator. Best wishes on your WOE one day at a time.0
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My hubby is a lazy slob. Love him, but put on 60lbs in the 5 years we've been married. I've lost about 30 of that, but still have a ways to go.
I just created a lose 20lbs by Christmas2014 group in response to a similarly named post. Feel free to join. Sometimes it helps just to have a starting point.0 -
OMG I have just had a WONDERFUL idea. My sister is a really good cook. She has just finished school and is having a really hard time getting work. I am not loaded or anything but time is definitely more of an issue for me than money at the moment.
Soooooo.... I was tinking I could pay her to pop in one or two evenings a weeks and make a bit pot of stew or a shepards pie for freezing. When I am home we could do it together but when I have a super stressful week and have to work late/study she could let herself in and work away. She would be thrilled with the few bob and I will have help, which would be awesome.
W
Look at you! You're setting a plan in motion already! One step at a time is all it takes to get you going and keep you there. You're heading in the right direction, and we'll be right behind you all the way. Today is the beginning of a whole new you!0 -
I started out at 234, also the biggest weight of my life. Even bigger than I was at nine months pregnant with my third son. I also knew it was time to start when I seen a pic of me taken at the beach from the night before (in my ticker)... Just start logging all food, start walking and take this one choice, one meal, one day and one pound at a time. :flowerforyou:0
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I haven't read all of the other posts, but you can't think of it as a win or lose type of thing. Losing weight and keeping it off takes longer than just losing it! Life gets in the way, but you have to keep at it, or at least not sabotage the work you've put in. Do one thing at a time. Set a goal to do that thing for the whole week. If you struggled with it for the week, try it again for the next week. It will become a habit. Just add more and more. It's a lifestyle change. You didn't gain weight overnight, you won't lose it overnight either. Just don't give up!! Feel free to add me!0
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The struggle is real, there are plenty of us here in the same boat and i know how hard it is too. I'm at the heaviest i've ever been and i too hurt from having the excess weight. I've enlisted the help of my sister to help keep me motivated and it does help when other people are trying around you, whether it be family, friends or even coworkers. The everyday stress of life will always be a factor the important thing to realize is that you're not alone and that there are plenty of people who support you and are going through the same thing. chin up we'll all get there :flowerforyou: 0
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Didn't read all four pages, so this might have been covered already.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to learn patience...everyone says it, you didn't get fat overnight, you won't get thin overnight. But in reality, that means, there will be days (maybe weeks) when you screw up...eat too much, don't exercise. Your relationship with the scale will become like one with a fickle boyfriend who is amazing sometimes and awful others.
If you're having trouble getting into this because it's overwhelming, find small things that you KNOW you can do. Walking for five minutes...Taking half the pasta off your dinner plate, or half the butter out of a recipe. Getting healthy has its fun moments, but it is also filled with frustration. The only way to succeed is not make it too hard on yourself in the beginning. Easy until you hit your groove, and then keep challenging yourself with bigger goals. I read a post here once where the guy's doctor told him to fidget. He was 400+lbs and literally couldn't do a lot of exercise. The fidgeting burned some calories. He would walk across the room several times a day...it seems so small, but it was a change in perspective for him. And over time, as he started to lose weight and get stronger and build his endurance, he was able to do more.
If you eat out, split the food in half from the start. Try walking 10 minutes at a time, two or three times a day. It adds up. Don't wait for hubby to join, he might never do so...your health is your responsibility.
And lastly...do yourself a favor, and have him take some before pictures. You'll be disgusted now, and probably later as well...but those comparison pics are AMAZING. I have very few pictures of myself fat, and now I really wish I did.0 -
First of all, realize that you are beautiful regardless of what size you are or what anyone else says to you. The next step is to physically feel as beautiful as you look, and that will take some work and patience. All you can expect from yourself is to try to be successful each day. If you slip up, who cares, just start again tomorrow.0
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Hi
Firstly: No one has the right to bully you. NO ONE. We can try to help you with that now or later, if you'd like. NO ONE has the right to use YOU as a litter box.
Secondly:
The fact you are reaching out and being honest about your struggle is a sign of grwoth and progress. Take comfort in that.
The past is done. The future will be here soon enough. Try and focus on today & today only. Its all we have to work with.
I was 312 pounds and I woulda been dead in 5 years if I hadn't made this commitment. All signs were pointing that way.
Just a few things the MFP tribe and common sense has taught me:
1) This is a thing you DO, not a definition of who you ARE. Just like laundry. Take the emotion out of it wherever possible. I cannot stress this enough.
2) My approach? This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. So there is no finite number of days that I am trying to get to. I will be logging in and logging food for the rest of my life, because:
a) This program works
b) I don't want to die young and I was headed that direction
3) Try to remember - We are the results of the choices we make every day, whether those choices are good or bad. Make as many good choices as you can, and the ship will stay steady. At the end of the day, we are the man (or woman) in the mirror. We are accountable to ourselves and no one else. We can help you with getting there, but the doing is up to you. Leave rationalizing at the door, and sontinue to be honest with yourself. Its the only path to long term success
Cal tracking is considered a good choice (whether boring or not) because it tells you where you really are (just like your check register tells you your balance) - remember to be honest with yourself all the time. Ultimately, you will achieve that which you are seeking much sooner.
If you will stay committed to this, your MFP tribe will commit to helping. Why? Because that's what we do. And we have ALL been there.
Three months ago? I couldn't move. Saturday? I burned 1400 calories exercising. Because? I wanted to.
You got this.. ...and we got YOUR back
FR headed your way
Fsunami0 -
Try and use the things that worked against you in a constructive way... If you are the type of person who generally puts others first then use that to your advantage - a coworker of mine that lives nearby and I meet up every morning to do something - if the weather is good a nice hike in the woods or a bike ride or a kayak paddle - if it rains we go to the gym. I can't tell you how many times I have dragged myself to the meeting spot just because I don't want to let him down or leave him hanging. Guess what - he's on vacation with his family this week and I am still going to the meet up spot and getting in my workout by myself.
It feels good knowing that someone is "counting on you" to help them out...0 -
"In our warped minds pictures become frozen mirrors that we can stare at as we pick apart our features over and over again.
I know girl. I know."
When my mother died we had plenty of pictures for her memorial. From Prima Ballerina to yo-yo weight midlife and finally someone who I didn't recognize on the outside but the love, heart, service, joy, postive chirstian woman were more refinned than her weight in her final years prior to cancer. I was lucky, I didn't gain weight until after she passed so we have pictures together.
As I gained weight I didn't allow pictures, I still saw myself as the sporty chick with an athletic body. Well guess where that got me. I had no idea how big I really was until I saw pictures from an event. I thought they must of used a wide angle lens. Put it out of my mind after a month of crying.... and gained another 50 pounds. Pictures are for real memories. My father is almost 80. I don't like how I look in the pictues but I am taking them with abandon now. When I pass, I want my kids to remember moments, not that "I think mom took these pictures... but I don't see her in ANY, was she there?" Selfies can be a very lonley life. Get out, have fun, walk, hold hands and remember, the pictures are for you and your family as memories of the time we have on earth. Sometimes in a supermodel body sometimes a frumpy silly body. Now I just make silly faces when someone snaps quickly. Life is too short to not live.:bigsmile: :bigsmile:0 -
I can understand. I hate how I look and hate my physical self. I will take pictures but it's because there is more to my life than my weight and I don't want those memories to fade just because I didn't want to look at myself. My weight will not define my life.
Still I try to make them look as good as possible and hate certain shots from the direct front. I always try to stand in the back of group pictures. So you cam imagine how I feel about my profile picture. Its me... all of me with no hiding. I hate how I look physically in that picture.
And yet it's one of the most precious things I have. It's a picture of me and my son whom I had not seen in over 2 years. (He's not mine legally or biologically but that's another story. Just know he still calls me dad.)
So when I finally got to see him I had to have a few pictures with him. It was one of the best moments of my life.
My point, I suppose, is don't let this fear or bout of doubt stop you. Neither from finding the motivation to change and lose and share the journey with mfp nor from the moments of preciousness life has to offer. They will be years you can never get back and you don't want the only memories to be "boy I was fat".0 -
I could have written those exact same words last year. With the exception of the bullying; however, I was bullied throughout my entire childhood and never had any self-esteem until recently. My highest weight was 216 in May of 2013 when I finally got serious and 236 in November of 2012. I have chronic pain issues after knee, back, and neck surgery and chronic migraine syndrome but I won't let it stop me.
Around the time I started I had briefly dated a very controlling person who wanted me to stay fat and have no confidence but I got out of that. That gave me the confidence to start losing weight.
I also suffer from depression, not just the typical "I'm feeling a little down today" depression. And it sounds like you are depressed beyond your control. I highly encourage you speak with a doctor about that and discuss various options, whether it me medication, talk therapy, or both. I'm glad to can talk to your husband about the bullying but talking about it does not give you the tools to deal with it. And you need to deal with it.
I eat out a lot because I work two jobs. I still lose weight by eating smaller portions and making smarter choices. I also work my hardest to make it fit into my day. Sometimes it doesn't so I don't sweat it that much.
Exercise does help with stress, but if you're in pain all the time it can be counterproductive. So maybe try to learn some deep breathing exercises to relax and relieve some of your tension. I agree water exercises can be excellent for sore joints to begin with. I have a friend who wears a large t-shirt because of body image issues but water jogs daily.
Different foods can help your mood as well. Do some research into this. Obviously fruits and vegetables are healthy choices. Don't start thinking of any food as bad, that's not what I'm leading to but some foods will help with depression.
This will work for you, you need to give it time and patience.0 -
I think we've all been there where we havnt been happy with ourselves and to see yourself in pics and be unhappy is even worse. Use this as motivation to get to where you want to be--because you don't want to keep feeling this way. I happen to think you're quite pretty but what I think or anyone else thinks doesn't matter. You have to be happy with you.0
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