Miserable about my weight & tears over photo

amylouize2012

Hi, I was on your boat at some point. I love my husband, but unfortunately our common hobbies are very unhealthy (watching TV and eating). For years I used this as an excuse not to take care of myself (because we spend so little time together, so I opted for the couch with him, versus a trail on my own. Finally I realized I cannot wait for him to change. I have to change myself first. Amazingly, he followed along. It took a while, about 6 months, when he started to go on walks and keeps asking me to join me. Sometimes we need to be a bit selfish and take care of ourselves first. You can do this! Being an example to others is also motivating. You will enjoy it! Just do it and watch and see. Good luck!

Hopefully he does, but I am going to do it myself regardless, I HAVE to x

amylouize2012

First and foremost.......YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE BEING BULLIED by anyone. Your stress will go down when you get rid of that part of your life. And the best feeling in the world is to take control of it. Easier said than done you say? I say NO. Put your foot down or up their butt, but don't take it one more day. Shame on whoever is doing it but shame on you for not sticking up for YOU.

I can't explain the reason why at the moment because it's really complicated. I know people often say that but my reason is a genuine reason and it is also a temporary reason. I just have to bite my lip for a few more weeks is all. It will be dealt with, just not yet. I know that sounds weak but I honestly have never let anyone bully me in my whole life, nor have I stood by and let someone else bully someone, it's horrid but it's just for a while longer.

I don't think anyone should ever be ashamed for being bullied but I am. And I'm so angry that I have to suck it up. When I wrote this post it was the first time I even admitted it to myself that this was happening. It is only for a while though, circumstances are due to change and when they do I will be bring it to light.

amylouize2012

It's painful to exercise when the weight is up. I hit 260# and it wasn't fun. But it can be done. For me it was cut out the carbs and get back on the bicycle. Ellipticals work well too. Anything low impact. I use MFP as a guide and I'm not glued to it all week but I do track what I eat. No pop, little starch, even giving up on beer. You can do it, stick with it, you'll be OK. Try to use exercise as a stress reliever, the endorphins from a good burn will make you feel better. Don't give up!

Thanks buddy. I actually own a threadmill but I think I would do so much better with an Elliptical. We have a local website where people do exchanges of all kinds of stuff so I am going to see if I can trade my threadmill for an Elliptical, I think my knees will thank me.

Do you think diet pop is ok?

amylouize2012

Water aerobics are great for joint pain. It takes the weight off your joints and allows you to move with resistance. Its a great exercise and most gyms offer them if they have a pool. Some you can just pay for the classes, or even just buy a pass to a pool and work out on your own. its hard to find motivation when we are stressed out, but definitely making yourself get started is key. Even just 5 minutes is better than nothing! Keep going, and don't think you have to put up with bullying. If you need advice on that feel free to PM me as I can offer some friendly unbiased advice that may help you in dealing with the bullying.

Thanks hun, will look into the water aerobics and will pm you about the other thing x

amylouize2012

GET PISSED OFF!

Am totally there right now........

Now, use that to motivate yourself. I won't say it's okay to be lazy, but if weight loss is what you're going for, 80% of the battle is diet.

It might sound dumb but I actually didnt know this, I really thought you couldn't loose weight if you didn'tdo both. Thanks buddy, have sent you a FR x

amylouize2012

You never know, maybe you will end up being the inspiration to your husband in the near future if he can see your transformation

That would be so awesome x

amylouize2012

I was on here before at my highest weight (288.6) and lost 50 pounds. .......

You can do it too! Turn the bullying and the feelings you get about that picture into motivation to do something about it. Feel free to add me if you'd like!

That's amazing hun and you can totally get it back. You are right it's time for me to get angry and use it to get me off the couch. Will send you a FR x

amylouize2012

Trying and succeeding 5% of the time is better than not trying at all. It'll become easier and more habitual and that 5% will become 10%, 25%, 50%, etc. The difference is in realizing that you are human and will mess up sometimes, but you can just dust yourself off when you fail and move on.

You are so positive, it's so refreshing, don't ever change x

amylouize2012

Please don't give up and quit. If you ever need someone to chat with, don't hesitate to drop a line. Always willing to lend a supporting hand when we need one. Or heck, just a shoulder to vent on.

Thanks hun, have sent you a FR x

wagglesworth

I have problems exercising because of my weight, but this morning I found a 25 min. chair exercise program on You Tube to help me get started. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPJKAG0mknI Take a look at this. It may help you.

SofiaofNY

The best time to plant a tree is 100 years ago....the second best time is today.

It doesnt matter how you got where you are - but you have to commit to not staying there. The scale is going to go one of 2 ways - up or down and you are the only one that controls that.

You have to decide when enough is enough. No one has the power to make this better but you.

I work a fulltime job, have five kids and a husband - who works out of the country, run a small business and take classes toward my masters degree. I am still able to carve out an hour a day for excersise and make healthy eating choices. If I can do it - anyone can.

If you know your lazy - (which is what you said) then the only way to remedy that - is to stop being lazy. Get up and move, throw away your junk food and make a decision that you dont want to live in self hate anymore.

amylouize2012

Accept some of the outpouring of love and advice that your post has brought to you, because we have ALL been exactly where you are today. I weighed 248 pounds this morning, but I got up and did a cardio dvd for 30 minutes and drank a protein shake for breakfast. You can do this for yourself and keep reaching out and telling your story because helping each other along this journey is a little good karma for each one of us.

Melaina

Hi Melaina, I have been truly overwhelmed by the support I have been given. I was more than I could have hoped for and exactly what I needed. It inspires me to hear that we are more or less the same weight and that you got up and did that this morning. You will loose those pounds in no time at all if you keep that up. I have some new cardio DVD's that are still in the plastic, time to break them out x

hookilau

Let today be the first day that you drop the excuses. All of them.

Yes.
I'd start with taking that cute doggie for a 30 minute walk. It doesn't have to be a fast walk, just a walk.
Later tonight, do it again.
Tomorrow, repeat.

Use this time to think about how you will make changes to your diet to help both you and your hubby get on the right track.
You can do it :flowerforyou:

amylouize2012

....I use excersize as a stress reliever...because Im always stressed.

just a few tips....some days I have to remind my self of this^ because I am important, and so are you....

Good Luck on your journey : ) AND HAVE FUN WITH IT

Thanks hun. At the moment doping exercise feels like a stress in of itself but I know if I just get started I can turn that around x

margie8109

Think of yourself and how great your really are. Know that the person who can hurt us the most is ourselves. If you believe in yourself, the journey to health will be easier.

jlrichar2014

I hear you - reading your story/post was like writing about myself only the words were all already there on the screen. I am uncomfortable in my own skin - and have been for most of my adult life thus far (I am 34). I have no answers - but I can tell you what I have done / am doing to get my head right and focus back on living a healthy lifestyle. I have a hectic/stressful job that can take long hours - I found that the evenings all of a sudden involved couch watching TV and lots of order in because I was too exhausted from work to cook.

About 3 weeks ago I went out with my girlfriends who always like to take pictures - and then I saw myself. I was so disappointed in myself - and at the same time confused - because I look in the mirror every morning - and what I was seeing in that picture was not what I had been seeing!! I finally decided enough - my husband is not always the best motivator for me, but it was like it finally hit - this isn't about anyone else - this is 100% about me! I have always enjoyed cycling - and actually really think that I would like to run (that is my end goal) so I took to the bicycle. Yes - the first two times hurt, and sitting is painful - but after that you are golden! Cycling brings me something that is lower impact so that I don't hurt myself, a good cardio workout (anything is better than what I was doing before) and it also gives me clarity and peace as it is something I do alone for 40-60 minutes. Helps to get my head back on right - if you know what I mean!! It is easy to make excuses not to do this - but I have set a self-policed rule that as soon as I say 'I don't want to' - I add 10 more minutes to my ride (that has ended up being an additional 30 minutes before).

I have tried many 'diets', exercise plans etc in the past - and the one thing that I have learned is do it for YOURSELF. If you do it for anyone else it will not work. You cannot control the habits of others - we have a hard time doing the right things for ourselves. Don't crucify yourself if you have a bad day or make one bad meal choice - dust yourself off and start with your next meal/next day. Plan a weekly 'treat' day. This prevents your 'cheat' cravings from developing 3 heads and turning into a binge! Learn your weaknesses - mine was/is unconscientiously eating. I mean - I didn't sleep eat - but I ate infront of the TV all the time. So - new spin on things - only allowed to eat at the kitchen table. it makes eating a conscientious decision. If you have a sweet tooth - try frozen pineapple ... I love it. Play with spices and herbs - make your meals more about fresh and flavour - they become so much more satisfying. The other thing that works for me - which not everyone gets ... it is not about the scale. I can't tell you how much I weigh - I will weigh myself one day ... but not yet. I know that my clothes are fitting better - and that means I am headed in the right direction. When you are on a weight loss journey / healthy lifestyle change - the scale isn't always our friend. Even though sometimes the numbers show no progress - there has been great progress (muscle, hydration etc). Do not be consumed by the number :-) (if nothing else - only weight yourself once a week).

Remember - your weight loss is exactly that - yours. You are in control - hold yourself accountable. Do not shame yourself when you have a bad day - learn your trigger and start over immediately. Your journey will be what you make of it - don't let others steal your focus! All the very best! Jenn

girlwithcurls2

One of the most motivating things I read on here one day was this: "Make one good decision. Then make another." And remember that learning to take care of your body is no different than learning anything else. You will make poor decisions (mistakes) and you can learn from them. Pick yourself up and move on. And be your own best friend. Be gentle with yourself. You can do this. Let today be the first day of the rest of your healthy life.

Good luck :flowerforyou:

Pkendricks

please add me as a friend. You took the words right out of my mouth. I am in the same boat as you. 2 yrs ago I got down to 215, now gained back to 246. Maybe we can help each other

beautifulmonica

If youre religious just pray about it . Ask god to reveal the healthy way to eat and live . And make a 100% commitment to it. I barely started losing weight 4 months ago. I walk an hour a day. Slowly at first then a little faster as the pounds came off. I eat clean n make everything myself. Except pasta cheese n milk oh n eggs lol. Anyways ive lost 30 lbs. The other night I was looking at old pictures and I laughed . I was a hefer! And that old me is gone. But ya I am to the point where I can laugh about it and you will be too. Youre on this site so your mind and heart is in the right place. But im telling you I had a gym membership n didnt lose a pound for 6 months I was there and as soon as I changed my diet the pounds melted off , no help from a gym just a nice afternoon walk everyday . It's all about the food.