Weird looks and questions when I explain how I lost weight

stormbornkraken

Answer a question with another question:

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? :devil:

I also prefer to bathe in the blood of virgins during Mercury retrograde. :smokin:

Oh and I also stopped quadrupling serving sizes but that probably wasn't it.

WinoGelato

Answer a question with another question:

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? :devil:

I also prefer to bathe in the blood of virgins during Mercury retrograde. :smokin:

Oh and I also stopped quadrupling serving sizes but that probably wasn't it.

Actually, maybe you are on to something. Maybe what we should do, when we get those questions, is say to the person, "Before I answer you, can you tell me how you gained the weight you are looking to lose?" And when they say something like, "well I eat too much" or "I stopped going to the gym", we should say, "what do you mean? Isn't there a pill that you took that helped you get fat? No? Well why do you think there is a pill which will make you not fat? Do the opposite of what got you there. That is the answer to your question. "

9bars

II did the detailed explanation in the beginning, but now unless they seem genuinely interested I usually just say "the old fashioned way I ate less and walked more" or if I really don't want to talk to them, some people can be quite rude I just say "I stopped eating" smile and change the subject. I often get the disappointed looks and you can see on their face they're thinking oh it's ok I don't have time for that and switch off, conversation over. If I told them I took pills that cost £50 a day I think quite a high percentage would say oh where did you buy them? :laugh:

One family member was telling me they were paying to have a meal plan made for them, I said why don't you just use mfp and eat what you want and was told mfp can't be very good as its free, I replied no it doesn't work at all you can see that pointing at my body, people really do like to overcomplicate things, so many people think you have to pay to lose weight whether it's pills, potions or diet clubs, it gave me a good laugh anyway.

lhippen

Actually, maybe you are on to something. Maybe what we should do, when we get those questions, is say to the person, "Before I answer you, can you tell me how you gained the weight you are looking to lose?" And when they say something like, "well I eat too much" or "I stopped going to the gym", we should say, "what do you mean? Isn't there a pill that you took that helped you get fat? No? Well why do you think there is a pill which will make you not fat? Do the opposite of what got you there. That is the answer to your question. "

This!

paulykira

Diet and exercise has really become "the hard way". It takes longer and you need some dedication. I think most people are either hoping for the key to instant weight loss or they really cannot imagine losing weight through diet and exercise. I don't think it's really a priority to a lot of people, it's easier to take the magic pill, so they think it's really unusual to see someone else take the traditional route.

ashdawg8790

Answer a question with another question:

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? :devil:

I also prefer to bathe in the blood of virgins during Mercury retrograde. :smokin:

Oh and I also stopped quadrupling serving sizes but that probably wasn't it.

Actually, maybe you are on to something. Maybe what we should do, when we get those questions, is say to the person, "Before I answer you, can you tell me how you gained the weight you are looking to lose?" And when they say something like, "well I eat too much" or "I stopped going to the gym", we should say, "what do you mean? Isn't there a pill that you took that helped you get fat? No? Well why do you think there is a pill which will make you not fat? Do the opposite of what got you there. That is the answer to your question. "

^^So much of this.

sympha01

The reason you get weird looks is because people can't believe it's actually that simple...not that it's necessarily easy, but it is simple.

Actually this is a great point. It's fun for us "successful losers" to point our fingers at the people who haven't figured it out yet and blame them for not being willing to put in the work and "wanting" to overcomplicate it. But the truth is it's very difficult for many people to understand why their previous attempts haven't been successful. Right? I mean we see it all the time here on the forums with people who really honestly believe they're cutting calories and exercising and not losing. I've been there myself in the past -- incorrectly thinking I was cutting calories but I wasn't measuring and logging my food accurately, being overconfident that I knew what I was eating, etc.

So when people try and fail, what are they going to think? Yes, a lot of people resist when you tell them that if they're not getting results with eating less they probably should start measuring their food and logging more accurately, and some of those people are resisting because they do on some level know that this would force them to come to terms with eating even less. But most of those people at least START OUT legitimately thinking that weighing your food and logging accurately can't POSSIBLY make a big enough difference to prevent them from achieving a calorie deficit. Of course it's human nature to want to believe in some mysterious medical factors that must be complicating the equation, and then throw your hands up in the air helplessly. But people need validation in the idea that IT'S NOT EASY. Because that is some sanctimonious and smug bullsh*t, for those of us who've lost weight to take that attitude with someone who hasn't yet broken through the frustrating cycle of trying and failing. It's NOT easy. But it is simple. And achievable.

One thing I do say to people now sometimes is "Well, it's certainly not easy to eat less and exercise a lot, but TO BE HONEST, the really hard part is staying on course for long enough to see results: that's the mindf*ck part of it. I just had to learn some tricks that help me keep my head in the game for the long term. That's really helped enormously." And you know what? I don't get puzzled looks with that response. People seem to GET that. I'm admitting to them it's hard without giving myself credit for any superhuman feats of willpower, and it cuts through the bullsh*t without being rude. Plus, if they're interested in having a real conversation, that puts them in a position to think about their own challenges and ask smarter questions.

fitbilldc

To the extent that some consider keeping a daily food journal as Obsessive, I guess one could argue the opposite, that by not holding oneself accountable for caloric intake and activity yet wondering why one doesn't lose weight is "Obsessively" ignoring the obvious.

love8383

Yeah, I get that all the time. Just about 150lbs lost now though diet and exercise, and people still want the magic answer. I've also had people assume that the only way I could lost this amount of weight without surgery is because I have some horrible illness. Nope, it really is as simple as eating in moderation and exercising. And having the patience to get to goal!

i get that too, has to be either surgery or an illness...can't just be ate healthy and exercised

SheBeButLittleSheisFierce

Now that summer is coming to an end and I am returning to work (I am a teacher), more and more people seem to be noticing my weight loss (strange in itself because I had lost 90% of my weight before summer break but maybe its the new wardrobe or tanned skin) and are asking what I did?

I keep it brief and say "honestly I just got control over my eating and keep my calories below 2000". I'll mention that I use MFP to log everything, and occasionally workout and try to get some cardio a few times a week.

People seem to expect something more radical. I get all kinds of strange looks like I'm holding something back or something..

How do you guys explain it to people? Do you notice the same thing or is it just me? It seems they want to know a secret or something, and are disappointed that I don't have something more profound to say. I would really like to hear from those of you that lost a lot of weight. My weight loss wasn't dramatic and some people don't even notice it. Dying to know how someone who lost 100 lbs by counting calories feels about the reactions people have to their explanation of how they did it.

You and I have the same story. I am a teacher as well. It is almost as if they are disgusted when I say I exercise with a trainer 4 times a week. Um if it were as easy as an I dream of Jeannie blink, well, we would all look like her.

riffraff2112

Answer a question with another question:

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? :devil:

BATMAN???

riffraff2112

Actually, maybe you are on to something. Maybe what we should do, when we get those questions, is say to the person, "Before I answer you, can you tell me how you gained the weight you are looking to lose?" And when they say something like, "well I eat too much" or "I stopped going to the gym", we should say, "what do you mean? Isn't there a pill that you took that helped you get fat? No? Well why do you think there is a pill which will make you not fat? Do the opposite of what got you there. That is the answer to your question. "

Oh this is perfect. Why didn't I think of this because it is the perfect answer/comment.

xenu01

Ugh, I hate that. I've had donuts actually shoved in my face on multiple occasions (at work AND by relatives).

imvandeen

It's really easy, you just say " ###! ". (censored, bedroom activity)

"Loads and loads of regular & very energetic 53X".

(depending on who it is you are talking too you may wish to expand on this ;-)

Said with a confident cheeky smile and a wink there's not a lot more they can say.

eg.

My mates wife was complimenting me on my change the other day & telling me how she wished my mate would lose a few pounds too.

I told her my "secret", she looked a bit shocked at first, & didn't say anything more, but obviously took it on board.

My mate hasn't lost any weight yet, but he looksl really happy & has promised me a night on the beer whenever I fancy it. :-)
I've told him he better start cutting down on his food so she thinks it's working & continues with the "program" though.

Go on spread the joy & lie a little, it'll make them happier than telling them to eat & excercise sensibly.

(I've edited the word out in case it's against forum rules.)

alexsondra34

people keeps hoping for shortcuts that's why they are dissapointed.
Nowadays evrything is quick, quick, want it now get it now, so perseverance and discipline are alien concepts and on top of that companies have been making millions since the 50's selling us the dream that a pill will fix everything so they think "find the right pill and everything will be alright" from heartburn to mental health, and now surgery....

If i was you i'd just tell them " a lot of time and effort, there's no shortcuts. If you want to lose weight you have to make a lifestyle change and see where the problem lies, good luck to you" or just send them to their GP.

I personally find it rude to remark on other people's appearance without their asking you what you think, people just assume that you are looking for their feedback, you'd think that once we become adults we get over the pettiness of school gossip and popularity contests but that's just not the case.

Have patience, the novelty will wear off.

Ryan_Case

I had a doc at work giving me a hard time about it a couple months ago. (In a friendly manner) suggesting I could be sick, or had bariatric surgery. I replied, "nope, it's just meth." and walked off. :laugh:

biggsterjackster

I had a doc at work giving me a hard time about it a couple months ago. (In a friendly manner) suggesting I could be sick, or had bariatric surgery. I replied, "nope, it's just meth." and walked off. :laugh:

:laugh: Perfect answer.

biggsterjackster

My aunt did not believe me, that I lost so much weight by eating less and exercising more so she told everyone, that I probably had liposuction surgery. Sure, yes, the doc sucked 20 lbs fat out of my body. :laugh:

ScottH_200

I just tell people who ask, I've lost/losing the old fashioned way. Having said that, my experience is that after having lost over a hundred pounds in 10 months and 30 lbs to goal, most people I know don't say or ask anything about it.

icrushit

No weird looks or questions here, but then I tend to only tell people who ask, and like most things in life, people already have a good idea what to do, they just don't want to do it, lol.

elisa123gal

I've not lost 100lbs, but just last week a family friend asked me how I was losing weight. She got a weird look when I told her I was just watching what I eat and started exercising, and mentioned MFP. I don't think it was that she didn't believe me, but rather disappointment that it wasn't some magic solution that would instantly solve all of her weight problems too.

Amen…this is right on. no one wants to hear that you have to actually work at it.. lol:flowerforyou:

MKEgal

I don't think it was that she didn't believe me, but rather disappointment that it wasn't some magic solution that would instantly solve all of her weight problems too.

Yep. People want an easy fix.

"so, you obsess then??"

I admit, at first it does seem a little obsessive, and maybe that's what has to happen up front so we learn what healthy eating looks / feels like.

I also get asked at least once a day if I am anorexic because I turn down things like pizza

I love pizza! I try to hit pizza night every month at my gym.
Everything in moderation. As long as I've planned my calories for that day to include it, no problem.

there is no magic pill out there to help with weight loss

Well, appetite-control medicine comes pretty close. What a wonderful invention!
But that's only for a few months.

they want to give me some BS advice- like "You should try that South Beach Diet- that'll make you lose tons of weight." And this is usually coming from someone that is very out of shape, yet contends that they know the secrets to weight-loss

LOL
Yeah, I have trouble taking advice from someone who is obviously unhealthy.
When I had an appointment with an exercise therapist who was fatter than I was (when I was being evaluated, starting my weight loss program) it was hard to take her seriously. And she basically told me to keep doing what I'd been doing, so it was a waste of time/money.

I can't eat one of those, I have my FitBit on today" and someone (who has no idea what a FitBit is or how it works) said, "oh my god, does it give you an electric shock if you eat something you aren't supposed to?"

I go with "tape worm and running from the police".

LOL!

it's human nature to want to believe in some mysterious medical factors that must be complicating the equation

Amen! Look at how many people quickly jump to "it must be my thyroid isn't working right" when really they just need to ELMM (eat less, move more).

I exercise with a trainer 4 times a week

There's no need for that.
Any reputable personal trainer will want you to be able to work on your own, not keep you on the hook to make more money.
Buy several hours of her/his time and tell her/him you want to learn how to safely do exercises, use machines & free weights, increase the intensity of your program (& know when to do so), and have her/him set you up with a starting program (written down).
Maybe get in touch every month or two for a tune-up, be sure you're progressing well.

I personally find it rude to remark on other people's appearance without their asking you what you think

I will be thrilled when someone I haven't seen for a while asks, "have you lost weight?"!
Yes, I have, and thank you for noticing.
Hasn't happened yet, but I keep hoping. :frown: :sad:
I mean, heck, I'm only down 50 lb, right? 20% of my starting weight. Not like that's noticible. :grumble:

palomalou2

My guess is that people don't want that answer because it makes them feel guilty about their own behavior. There can't be actually be anyone out there who doesn't know that "calories in, calories out" determines weight trajectory, right?

Jazz_2014

How do you guys explain it to people? Do you notice the same thing or is it just me? It seems they want to know a secret or something, and are disappointed that I don't have something more profound to say. I would really like to hear from those of you that lost a lot of weight. My weight loss wasn't dramatic and some people don't even notice it. Dying to know how someone who lost 100 lbs by counting calories feels about the reactions people have to their explanation of how they did it.

I would say your weight loss is dramatic. You've almost lost 50lbs. But I understand the question as I've heard the same questions starting with about 25lbs off. And I agree people often want to know "the secret" in how I've lost my weight and look disappointed when they find out it is just eating healthy and exercising.
I'm like most posters, I don't offer much info unless they ask further. My suggestion then is to pick one of their bad habits and substitute it with a good habit. Make it a habit and then pick another bad habit and substitute it with another good habit. And just keep on with that process.
(example: if they drink cokes, substitute for water) (if you eat starchy veggies, eat non starchy veggies) (sit around watching television too much, get up and walk or some other form of movement)
I have a huge list of new habits.