Gross/TMI question for the guys .....

Timelordlady85

Just say " It's that time of the month" how about I go down on you instead.
There, problem solved!

^^^ agreed!

So glad to be married. I don't have to say anything, as my husband sees first hand the product wrappers in the bathroom trash can (and/or witnesses my mood changes).

^^^ this too!

777Gemma888

<b>you have been warned! </b>

My friends and I were talking about this the other night. New relationship: it's sexy time, but she just started her period. lol How does he want to hear that? Every suggestion sounded disgusting or old fashioned. There must be a way to say it without killing the mood.

Thanks! (and I'm ready for the lecture on how natural it is, and she shouldn't be sleeping with him if she can't ..... blah blah blah).

Just asked my brother and male friends for you ~ They all concur with the previous posters both male and female ~ "Just say it!" "Shark Week" and "Red Tide" ~ terms teens are using to refer to their monthlies. Doubt she should use a term of reference he wouldn't understand. Pity her though, that this discussion did not come up before sex was even on the cards. Guys usually address this issue themselves ~ unless it's a quickie type of date, and they are complete strangers. Guys tend to be considerate ~ planning dates/excursions ~ matching activity to their woman's ability@monthlies.

In my opinion, if they've been dating or know each other well enough, then she should know how to address it to him and not need her girlfriends intervention, unless he is a blind date ~ ENTER awkwardness, most especially if he is of the squeamish variety.

** To the poster who'd stated being in too much pain during her monthlies to engage in sex ~ Thankfully, we ALL DO NOT share your pain or sentiment during our periods. The OP's friend appears to not mind sex during her periods either, hence the topic.

777Gemma888

I'd probably say, "this isn't a good time, give me a few days".
And maybe suggest non-intercourse things to do.

one way would be to say, " let's grab a towel" with a little wink/smile
He will probably totally know instantly what she's talking about.

Um, there are some for whom a bath towel or three is a necessity ANY time.
Some women are vocally appreciative, some gush.

the woman will probably be in so much pain that the very idea of sex at such a time is horrible. I have heard some people say that orgasm helps the cramps... uh, no, if she's anything like me the pain is so intense that orgasm is not possible. Just leave her alone for the four or five days this will take, guys, you can wait.

This.
I know there are some women who are at least as, if not more, aroused during their period, but it can feel pretty icky / sick, and I wouldn't want to have sex when I'm not feeling well.

So much THIS^

ETA: Periods for me, are so much easier to handle when active before, during and after.

Miss_1999

Just say " It's that time of the month" how about I go down on you instead.
There, problem solved!

^^^ agreed!

So glad to be married. I don't have to say anything, as my husband sees first hand the product wrappers in the bathroom trash can (and/or witnesses my mood changes).

^^^ this too!

Amen, sister! When the tampon box is out in the bathroom, he's like, oh ****, leave her alone for about a week. It's plugged up and off limits.

I do have a serious question. How old is the person in the new relationship? Is this a young person? (Late teens/early 20's?) Regardless, like others have said, if they're old enough to be having sex, then they're sure as hell old enough and mature enough to use the word period without it being "gross". If it's too "gross" to use, then be rethinking sex. A simple statement like, "I just started my period", isn't gross, or "It's that time of the month" is an easy one. If this is a person she's going to be in a relationship with, she needs to be able to be comfortable and candid with him. Trust me, if she's NOT having a period, they're in a WHOLE world of trouble right there, and that's a WHOLE 'nother story. :frown:

MelsAuntie

I'd probably say, "this isn't a good time, give me a few days".
And maybe suggest non-intercourse things to do.

one way would be to say, " let's grab a towel" with a little wink/smile
He will probably totally know instantly what she's talking about.

Um, there are some for whom a bath towel or three is a necessity ANY time.
Some women are vocally appreciative, some gush.

the woman will probably be in so much pain that the very idea of sex at such a time is horrible. I have heard some people say that orgasm helps the cramps... uh, no, if she's anything like me the pain is so intense that orgasm is not possible. Just leave her alone for the four or five days this will take, guys, you can wait.

This.
I know there are some women who are at least as, if not more, aroused during their period, but it can feel pretty icky / sick, and I wouldn't want to have sex when I'm not feeling well.

So much THIS^

ETA: Periods are so much easier to handle when active before, during and after.

I can't imagine being " active during" when I've taken the day off work and am lying in bed in a fetal position, in so much pain I can hardly stand up. Who the hell wants sex at a time like that?? It would just hurt even worse. Women who don't have this pain, fine if you want to be "active", but for some of us it's not possible AT ALL. It's NOT just a matter of a little blood... it can be "soaking all the way through a maxi pad every two hours"..

MelsAuntie

From personal experience, the woman will probably be in so much pain that the very idea of sex at such a time is horrible. I have heard some people say that orgasm helps the cramps... uh, no, if she's anything like me the pain is so intense that orgasm is not possible. Just leave her alone for the four or five days this will take, guys, you can wait.

Thank God most women are NOT like you! It has never stopped me or been a problem to the guy I'm with. I usually just say "lets take it to the shower", he gets it and I have never been turned down. BTW when I'm into a guy I don't want him to wait (any more then I want to wait myself!)

I wouldn't speak for "most women", I made it clear this was my personal experience. You are lucky not to have it that bad.

777Gemma888

I can't imagine being " active during" when I've taken the day off work and am lying in bed in a fetal position, in so much pain I can hardly stand up. Who the hell wants sex at a time like that?? It would just hurt even worse. Women who don't have this pain, fine if you want to be "active", but for some of us it's not possible AT ALL. It's NOT just a matter of a little blood... it can be "soaking all the way through a maxi pad every two hours"..

I have only ever encountered one person who'd likely experienced periods as you do and had to be bed ridden ~ That was back when I was in boarding school. The one girl out of 500. I'm everso sorry that you go through that much pain and discomfort.

Cheers!

ETA: one

AglaeaC

I can't imagine being " active during" when I've taken the day off work and am lying in bed in a fetal position, in so much pain I can hardly stand up. Who the hell wants sex at a time like that?? It would just hurt even worse. Women who don't have this pain, fine if you want to be "active", but for some of us it's not possible AT ALL. It's NOT just a matter of a little blood... it can be "soaking all the way through a maxi pad every two hours"..

I have only ever encountered one person who'd likely experienced periods as you do and had to be bed ridden ~ That was back when I was in boarding school. The one girl out of 500. I'm everso sorry that you go through that much pain and discomfort.

Cheers!

ETA: one

This. And also, it sounds like the experiences of some women with endometriosis. Normally ibuprofen or such should do the trick to remove average period pain. Being bed-ridden really isn't usual.

trojan_bb

Just tell him. it's not that gross. if a guy has problems with just HEARING that his woman is on her period, I think some greater intimacy issues are in the future.

MelsAuntie

I can't imagine being " active during" when I've taken the day off work and am lying in bed in a fetal position, in so much pain I can hardly stand up. Who the hell wants sex at a time like that?? It would just hurt even worse. Women who don't have this pain, fine if you want to be "active", but for some of us it's not possible AT ALL. It's NOT just a matter of a little blood... it can be "soaking all the way through a maxi pad every two hours"..

I have only ever encountered one person who'd likely experienced periods as you do and had to be bed ridden ~ That was back when I was in boarding school. The one girl out of 500. I'm everso sorry that you go through that much pain and discomfort.

Cheers!

ETA: one

Thank you for the sympathy. I don't know if things would have changed after pregnancy, I was never was pregnant. Anyway, by age 57 things began to change. Menopause was, for me, a breeze; a few night sweats, a few years of hot flashes, no mood swings at all, what a relief!

AglaeaC

I wish I could unsee that one. Thanks Apollo.

DamePiglet

I can't imagine being " active during" when I've taken the day off work and am lying in bed in a fetal position, in so much pain I can hardly stand up. Who the hell wants sex at a time like that?? It would just hurt even worse. Women who don't have this pain, fine if you want to be "active", but for some of us it's not possible AT ALL. It's NOT just a matter of a little blood... it can be "soaking all the way through a maxi pad every two hours"..

I have only ever encountered one person who'd likely experienced periods as you do and had to be bed ridden ~ That was back when I was in boarding school. The one girl out of 500. I'm everso sorry that you go through that much pain and discomfort.

Cheers!

ETA: one

Thank you for the sympathy. I don't know if things would have changed after pregnancy, I was never was pregnant. Anyway, by age 57 things began to change. Menopause was, for me, a breeze; a few night sweats, a few years of hot flashes, no mood swings at all, what a relief!

Okay, OT here but WTH....
Did you happen to visit the doctor to seek assistance with this problem? Some effective strategies for taking care of this have been available for many years.

p8liwag

Sexy on a clean white bed sheets... wake up on a Japanese flag

salembambi

I say something like " im gushing blood out my vag right now btw" no man has ever turned me down

its worse when you are dating a women and your menstruals have not synced up yet

bellesouth18

When the subject arises just tell him that you're ready and willing, but he'll have to share you with TOM, your monthly Casanova.

theycallmearth

Well, she's on her period so the mood is about to be killed regardless right? (unless that's not a stop sign for either of them) So if I were in his shoes I would prefer she just tell me that she is on her period and it ain't gonna happen.

She could add a prefix to it with something like "I really want to but..." to help soften the blow. But yeah, if he's a mature guy he'll understand and appreciate her being straight forward.

Hope my response helped!

hbrittingham

I can't imagine being " active during" when I've taken the day off work and am lying in bed in a fetal position, in so much pain I can hardly stand up. Who the hell wants sex at a time like that?? It would just hurt even worse. Women who don't have this pain, fine if you want to be "active", but for some of us it's not possible AT ALL. It's NOT just a matter of a little blood... it can be "soaking all the way through a maxi pad every two hours"..

I have only ever encountered one person who'd likely experienced periods as you do and had to be bed ridden ~ That was back when I was in boarding school. The one girl out of 500. I'm everso sorry that you go through that much pain and discomfort.

Cheers!

ETA: one

Thank you for the sympathy. I don't know if things would have changed after pregnancy, I was never was pregnant. Anyway, by age 57 things began to change. Menopause was, for me, a breeze; a few night sweats, a few years of hot flashes, no mood swings at all, what a relief!

Okay, OT here but WTH....
Did you happen to visit the doctor to seek assistance with this problem? Some effective strategies for taking care of this have been available for many years.

I can't speak for the poster on this, but I have had endometriosis since I was in my teens. Had a child at 21, had surgery for my endometriosis when I finally found a doctor who figured out what the heck was going on with my body (I'd lose 5 lbs in the week leading up to my period because of the intestinal pain) when I was 31. By then, I had lesions that had scarred my uterus and my ovaries, sorry if this is TMI, so there will be lifelong pain during the time I still have a period. Thankfully, my husband isn't into period sex, so I have never had to worry about whether he was satisfied with me or our relationship, our 24 years together are testament to that. Anyone who hasn't had to go through the agony of a monthly period really should be thankful (and less judgmental for those of us who do), because it's horrible.

cakebatter07

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8uSBbEM8jk

^Guys need that app. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

wheird

Just tell me you're on your period. And if you still want to do it, we'll throw down a towel or do other sex acts. *shrug*


It isn't like I don't know women have periods.

arewethereyet

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