wife is kinda bothering me
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I have a similar problem - my wife is recovering from breast cancer treatment so cannot run as far or as fast as i can, so I run with her when she can, but when she needs to walk, i run ahead for a minute or two, turn around, run back and when she's ready, she runs again with me. it's inconvenient without doubt, but she's involved and happy thats she's involved, and seeing me running more then her encourages her to run more than she would ordinarily. it might be hard to deal with, but I'd say stick with it and continue to do ths together.
My hubby and I had a similar situation as OP when I first started running... he used to run before we got together, then helped me pick up running... but wouldn't want me to run on my own (wanted it to be "our time") yet would always leave me in his dust trail as he ran ahead of me. I used to get SOOOO annoyed... I mean, I knew that we were at different levels and that he needed to push himself as well, but I didn't drive an hour there every day straight from work just to be alone!
So he started doing the same thing... he'd run up ahead then circle back to me. It really did make me feel much better and that we were doing it together.
Paul, I'm glad you've realized this solution as well! Hope the best for your wife :flowerforyou:
And OP, this could help your son realize that just cuz he can't see you doesn't mean you're not there. Might be a good solution for you too!0 -
I can relate...
I have an almost 3 yr. old here too. Have you joined a gym? I know my gym has a Daycare. Two hours of daycare makes for a happy Momma. I know our daughter has been sick twice this month. So no gym for two weeks. My husband works a lot and then comes home to stay outside doing his hobbies. Our daughter running in and out.
Just suggestion you may want to look into a family membership some where. Gives her a break from being Mommy. Maybe discuss it with her to see if she's interested.
When I don't get to go to the gym...I usually push our stroller around the neighborhood. My husband rarely joins us.0 -
Lol you just have to keep running slightly faster than she can and she'll soon give up. When I used to run, I thought it'd be nice to run together, have a chat while we were running but by the end I *HATED* running with my husband cause he always pushed me further and harder than I wanted to run (he is nearly a foot taller than me). I eventually stopped the "awww it'd be nice to run together" thing and started going out on my own without him.0
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Lol you just have to keep running slightly faster than she can and she'll soon give up. When I used to run, I thought it'd be nice to run together, have a chat while we were running but by the end I *HATED* running with my husband cause he always pushed me further and harder than I wanted to run (he is nearly a foot taller than me). I eventually stopped the "awww it'd be nice to run together" thing and started going out on my own without him.
lol.... if you go for this approach then don't put the shoe on the other foot and start being pissy that she wants to go alone... but it could also backfire and she'll just stop going altogether. That's no good either
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my workout time is "me" time. I use it to both attempt to lose weight but also to unwind. Politely tell her this is your time and although you appreciate her wanting to be with you, it is good to have time to yourself.0
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My husband 'kinda' bothers me when I go out for runs too. He walks slow and I like to jog...so I jog ahead of him, turn around and run back to him, then I'm off again. Or, he walks a figure 8 pattern around a trail we use and we high 5 when we pass each other. lol
You see, he has a terminal lung disease and an injured foot, so I'm just happy that he can get out there with me at all. We both need to lose weight and we both try (key word - TRY) hard to get out there and support each other. If he's lucky, I'll just walk with him, but it's hard to resist the urge to run. We make it work because we want to. I know that sometimes he's annoyed when he's done walking and I'm still running, cooling down or stretching, but he doesn't say anything. He loves me.
I also run while he's out doing his own stuff, so it works out somehow anyway.
Life is short. Work it out. <hugs>0 -
Sorry. It sounds like she has some insecurities she'll need to work on. In the meantime, there have been plenty of compromises suggested.
But I agree it can be hard training with running partner. Surprisingly, for a while my husband, who ran cross country in college, wanted to go on my runs. Clearly I was the slow runner. I hated it. I would be huffing and puffing and he wouldn't break a sweat. I'd hear unsolicted advice on every run. I got pissy and it really hurt my husband's feelings because he just wanted to spend quality time together. (He's a sweetheart). Anyway, now we rarely go on training runs together. But we will sign up for 5ks and mud runs together. Before them, there is usually a talk of whether he'll be running ahead of me or not. When he runs with me, he's more understanding of times I may not be able to hold a conversation with him and generally has toned down his advice giving. We found our stride in what works for us and I couldn't be happier!0 -
I have had this problem of slower runners (husband) wanting to join me on my runs and I let them. I just hang with them for the first 10 minutes or so and then tell them I am running on ahead and will hook up with them on the way back. Has worked well for me and you get to finish your runs together. Win win I think. Good luck and keep up the great runs!0
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Have you offered to take turns with her? You do your run, go home, she does her own walk or run. That way she gets some peace and quiet and you get time alone with your son. You could alternate nights too.0
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i work 50+ hours a week and am gone or on the phone alot
I think this is probably the core of the problem - she'd like to spend some time doing something active with you, rather than watching you run off into the distance, having spent the day separated from you by work/childcare responsibilities.
How about something like tennis or badminton that you can do together, and that your child can join in with when they get a bit older? That way, both of you could also choose to run (by yourselves, at a time and pace that suits you) if you wish, but you also feel that you've done something active together as a couple.0 -
my workout time is "me" time. I use it to both attempt to lose weight but also to unwind. Politely tell her this is your time and although you appreciate her wanting to be with you, it is good to have time to yourself.
This attitude stinks!0 -
my workout time is "me" time. I use it to both attempt to lose weight but also to unwind. Politely tell her this is your time and although you appreciate her wanting to be with you, it is good to have time to yourself.
This attitude stinks!
I value myself enough that spending five whole hours a week working out in the home gym is considered selfish.
What a load of crap.0 -
my workout time is "me" time. I use it to both attempt to lose weight but also to unwind. Politely tell her this is your time and although you appreciate her wanting to be with you, it is good to have time to yourself.
This attitude stinks!
I value myself enough that spending five whole hours a week working out in the home gym is considered selfish.
What a load of crap.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish. I take the time to exercise by myself.
This is about mutual support and finding a compromise so that both people can succeed and be happy together.0 -
my workout time is "me" time. I use it to both attempt to lose weight but also to unwind. Politely tell her this is your time and although you appreciate her wanting to be with you, it is good to have time to yourself.
This attitude stinks!
Then my attitude stinks too.
OP, yeah, keep walking with your wife and kid, but find some time for you to do your runs as well... Good luck!0 -
My husband mentioned running with me. After I thought about it, I told him we should go to the gym and run next to each other on treadmills. That way, I can keep up my pace, and he can switch to walking on a steep incline, which he prefers. Gym daycare for the kids!0
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1. My husband runs and I don't. It's important that he has time to run without me. We made this decision 16 years ago and stick to it. I dance and lift weights. We go on hikes together. It's ok to have both individual and shared exercise.
2. I like to walk fast. So, I will have my kids ride bikes while I walk to keep up. This works for us. Another option to consider.0 -
Well if we're talking about weight loss, then it's more about calorie deficit and that's achieved more by how you eat.
Exercise is for fitness and health. You DON'T get fitter by reducing your intensity, so maybe do a little jog ahead, drop to the ground and do some mountain climbers, burpees, etc till they catch up and do it again. There are a number of ways to achieve working out together when one isn't as fit as the other.
Another is, go to a park she stays and plays with toddler on the playground while you run 2 laps, then switch and let her get her walk or jog in and switch again.
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I always find it really hard to find a running partner who goes at the same speed as me. Plus I use running as my "solo" time, when I dont really want company, just my thoughts.
If she's insistent - can you plan a route of her distance which brings you back home, you could use that as a warm up and then continue on for the rest of your distance at pace?
^This, I thought I wanted someone to walk with me, now I realize I'm good on my own because I don't have to worry about their speed, me trying to keep up with them or them keeping up with me.0 -
my workout time is "me" time. I use it to both attempt to lose weight but also to unwind. Politely tell her this is your time and although you appreciate her wanting to be with you, it is good to have time to yourself.
This attitude stinks!
Then my attitude stinks too.
OP, yeah, keep walking with your wife and kid, but find some time for you to do your runs as well... Good luck!
Your attitude doesn't stink because you agree that he should compromise. The attitude that stinks offers no compromise whatsoever. There is a big difference between your attitude and his.0 -
Join a local all-abilities running club. I was always one of the slower runners in my group and they found ways for people of different speeds to do different circuits and all end up together to catch their breath. Takes the pressure off both of you and you can both push yourself just as hard as you want.0
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