wife is kinda bothering me

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Replies

  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    How old is your son? He may just get used to it if you do it a few times, my own (3yo) didn't like it when I went out running but a few runs later and some extra walks with him and some distractions when I go out (he's at home with his dad so they just need to find something absorbing) and he's fine.

    Otherwise, separate run and walk together sounds like a good plan.

    hes 3 too and i know he would be fine after a little bit but (gonna throw my wife under the bus here) my wife gets more worked up than he does when hes upset and she gets even more pissy towards me when i get home due to that. i also hate spending alot of time away from them (i work 50+ hours a week and am gone or on the phone alot)

    I'm guessing the real issue is that she feels like you're never home and she always has to deal with the child. Maybe try helping out more, spending more time with them, and then she won't feel like the run is the only time the three of you spend together as a family.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
    How old is your son? He may just get used to it if you do it a few times, my own (3yo) didn't like it when I went out running but a few runs later and some extra walks with him and some distractions when I go out (he's at home with his dad so they just need to find something absorbing) and he's fine.

    Otherwise, separate run and walk together sounds like a good plan.

    hes 3 too and i know he would be fine after a little bit but (gonna throw my wife under the bus here) my wife gets more worked up than he does when hes upset and she gets even more pissy towards me when i get home due to that. i also hate spending alot of time away from them (i work 50+ hours a week and am gone or on the phone alot)

    I'm guessing the real issue is that she feels like you're never home and she always has to deal with the child. Maybe try helping out more, spending more time with them, and then she won't feel like the run is the only time the three of you spend together as a family.

    This is what I was thinking too. Maybe making sure your wife has time to do her thing, whether that's working out or not (and you can't make her do something about her health she doesn't want to), and making sure you get some family time in as well, means that she won't mind when you do your thing i.e. going for a run.

    It's the same for me when DH is doing a lot of back-to-back travel or working at weekends, while I work my own job/deadlines, schedule my own travel, keep the house running, cook meals, look after DD, take her swimming etc. It has nothing to do with whether what he's doing is healthy or not - it's a time and sharing the load thing.
  • mommyrunning
    mommyrunning Posts: 495 Member
    How old is your son? He may just get used to it if you do it a few times, my own (3yo) didn't like it when I went out running but a few runs later and some extra walks with him and some distractions when I go out (he's at home with his dad so they just need to find something absorbing) and he's fine.

    Otherwise, separate run and walk together sounds like a good plan.

    hes 3 too and i know he would be fine after a little bit but (gonna throw my wife under the bus here) my wife gets more worked up than he does when hes upset and she gets even more pissy towards me when i get home due to that. i also hate spending alot of time away from them (i work 50+ hours a week and am gone or on the phone alot)

    I'm guessing the real issue is that she feels like you're never home and she always has to deal with the child. Maybe try helping out more, spending more time with them, and then she won't feel like the run is the only time the three of you spend together as a family.
    .

    Agreed
    OP earlier you said she gets more worked up than your son. It is likely that if she is the primary caregiver for your child (since you work long hours) that she feels guilty that she's somehow not doing her job when you take your son with you especially if he gets a little upset but also feels a little resentful at not having more help. If you guys can work out together great but if not when you take your son reassure her that you and your son are going to be fine together and have some boy time. Tell her she deserves a break and you want to give her some free time. You will earn points and lessen her guilt. You will probably have to reassure her more than once. Sometimes as moms even when our brains tell us one thing our emotions tell us different and our kids crying is like kryptonite. Also if you do need her to keep him while you run simply asking if she minds keeping him while you run will probably help as opposed to assuming she will. It's acknowledging that she has a choice and you appreciate her.

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