not trying to start a fight here but just a point...

bethcox16

Why is it more socially acceptable to be overweight or obese these days, but it is not acceptable to be skinny.

You are not allowed to say that some needs to diet, but you are allowed to say that someone needs to eat a pizza or something.

i think that this is wrong, both are unhealthy, both are ways of life, heck both are even illnesses, eating yourself to death and people say sorry, people feel bad and try to support you, but people 'not eating enough' are ridiculed and told to seek professional help and in most cases shouted at and told to grow up.

Not right in my opinion.

randomtai

Good question... To me it seems that people assume slimmer people have a higher self esteem and can handle "jabs" better.

neanderthin

It is? Not that I'm aware of.

snowflake930

I don't think that is the case, at least from my perspective.

I guess you need to "walk a mile" in someone else's shoes to get a different perspective.

Rudeness is rudeness, no matter where it is directed and many of us have been victims of this.

mswanger09

It is? Not that I'm aware of.

I think the OP is talking about some of the memes going around on facebook from time to time. There are several along the lines of "Men like girls with curves and not stick figures."

Not saying it is right, but I have been seeing a lot of that too.

ActuarialChef

Good question... To me it seems that people assume slimmer people have a higher self esteem and can handle "jabs" better.

I have been, by society's standards, skinny for my entire life. I have a little excess weight now, but people still comment that I am thin.

And I have horrible self esteem. If someone says something rude or mean, I feel it, just like anyone else. Just because I am thin does not mean I am perfect and have great self esteem.

jennifer_417

It's not ok...but trust me, the jabs go both ways.

Missboss888

Down here in South Texas most people have no filter. I wish people would stop telling me to stay away from the cheesecake! I know! I've looked in the mirror. Then again I have a friend who is my height but only weighs 97 pounds and she is always talking about needing to lose weight and workout and people are always telling her she needs to eat something. Maybe people think that's their way of telling her she looks fine but I sure do know she's tired of it.

logg1e

I think the OP is talking about some of the memes going around on facebook from time to time. There are several along the lines of "Men like girls with curves and not stick figures."

Quite. Perhaps we should worry more about the objectification of women, memes aimed at fat/skinny women as opposed to fat/skinny people and the judging of a woman's fitness based upon her sexual appeal to men.

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newdaydawning79

That's why the body acceptance movement is so crucial and why we all should love our bodies (myself included because goodness knows I don't!). Whether it be "skinny shaming" or "fat shaming" or whatever, it's harmful and shouldn't be happening. I myself am guilty of saying stuff about feeding people - usually skinny (male) singers - but I've learned that it's not helpful to overall feelings of well-being, even when said only to myself.

WhatMeRunning

I think it's just that there is an effort for people to be happy with who they are, even if they are fat, and accepting it, celebrating it even.

I'm not sure things are any worse about being skinny now than they ever were before. Although the number of overweight people is really starting to crowd out the number of skinny people...so maybe things are changing as you say, I just haven't seen it.

liannexxx

To be honest I think people just want to have a little chip at whatever they can. Insecure people will always find a way of making someone feel bad in order so they get reassured they are better......whether they are fat or skinny!

The key is I reckon just to be so self confident you ignore their little digs.

Xx

higgins8283801

I have never been skinny shamed. I was "skinny" (5'2 and 90-110 pounds) the most I got was chicken legs.


As an overweight military wife, you see it all the time. There are facebook sites devoted to making fun of the fat "dependa" we even get called dependapotamues.

ew_david

I don't think it matters one way or another. People will always find something to whine about or someone to cut down to make themselves feel better.

Missjulesdid

I wasn't aware that criticizing someone because of their body was socially acceptable. Period.

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Missjulesdid

It is? Not that I'm aware of.

I think the OP is talking about some of the memes going around on facebook from time to time. There are several along the lines of "Men like girls with curves and not stick figures."

Not saying it is right, but I have been seeing a lot of that too.

UG.. those make me CRINGE.. and I don't find it acceptable at ALL.

yopeeps025

If those people are not making fun of the way someone looks then they will find something else.

lemurcat12

It is? Not that I'm aware of.

This.

Also, you can't generalize about social rules, as it varies. Where I am commenting on either is unacceptable and both happen behind people's back on occasion, like other gossip, and may be expressions of concern to people who are close, also, although I'm sure people feel uncomfortable at the latter and I don't personally think it's generally helpful.

Edited for clarity. Being either is "acceptable," whatever that means, but being thinner is definitely preferred on average and thought more positively of.

vjohn04

It is? Not that I'm aware of.

^this.

Perception is reality for individuals, but that doesn't make it so for the masses.

keto_1961

I think that both are still unacceptable if you are a women - although I do think that it is more socially acceptable for a men to be obese since it historically has been a sign of success. Having said that, recent studies suggest that being underweight is actually healthier than being at "normal" weight and increases longevity. Most of what we think we know about nutrition is wrong. If we all did what was good for us we would eat far fewer calories - and mostly from fats and proteins.

Jealousy fuels the comments to the underweight - as well as concern. Of course, the concern is from well-meaning mothers who simply worry about us. I am a 53 year old man is stills gets warned by his mother to put on a few additional pounds - even though at 12% body fat I am probably healthier than at anytime in my life.

BuddhaMom74

Why is it more socially acceptable to be overweight or obese these days, but it is not acceptable to be skinny.

It is not socially acceptable. What is however, is body shaming...which overweight women are the targets of all day, every day, subliminally and, unfortunately, many times with full intent.

SezxyStef

It is? Not that I'm aware of.

I think the OP is talking about some of the memes going around on facebook from time to time. There are several along the lines of "Men like girls with curves and not stick figures."

Not saying it is right, but I have been seeing a lot of that too.

UG.. those make me CRINGE.. and I don't find it acceptable at ALL.

I agree...I see those all the time and to be frank they are posted not by men but by larger women...

What I don't understand is why a larger woman must make fun of a smaller woman to make herself feel better????? And to be frank no one says anything to them...no one.

YOu hear things like "skinny b****" or "it's not fair" or "go eat a pizza" etc all the time if you are slim/trim/fit or worse...if you are fit..."gross" or "you shouldn't wear that your X is to muscular"...

I could go on but I won't.

It doesn't matter who it's directed at body shaming of any sort is unacceptable imho and I just hope that others get to that point too...

and as of today I will be commenting on the memes on FB...politely etc. but I am done with that crap.

Derpes

Bigger people have been marginalized, made fun of, beaten down for years.

Criticizing someones body is unacceptable either way, but bigger people still face the brunt of the criticism, make no mistake about that.

WandaWoman41

I had a slim pal who changed her profile pic from a cow to an elephant. I had to drop her. I assumed she was sending out subliminal messages. Hey, I eat more than 1,000 calories. Any intake less than 1,000 calories is no good for ME.

Cryptonomnomicon

I don't care about what is "socially acceptable" I just care about the well being of others, that being said I am not the sort of person to ridicule others in public for some perceived short coming, nor will I give out unsolicited advice.

If it is someone who generally wants my advice, opinion etc I will not condone being unhealthily overweight or underweight.

As a father of a teenage daughter and a parent the eating and exercise habits of my daughter concern me as I care about her having the best quality of life and for this I think leading by example and education are paramount in her developing good habits.

As to why one might seem more socially acceptable, it may be because there is a lot of pressure put onto people to have an ideal body type, which is often confused with the body type often betrayed by the fashion industry...which is often underweight, skinny etc advertising will rarely tell you that "fat is in" so peer pressure is a concern.

mercurysfire

i think there's a lot of good points. Firstly that fat or skinny shaming- it's based on sexual appeal to men. Everyone wants to be called beautiful i guess, but don't let someone else define that for you.
second- i love the concept of body acceptance but to me accepting that you are overweight, out of shape and can't do things you enjoy or try things because you physically just can't- that's selling yourself short. Accepting who you are and always striving to be better- that's a movement I can get behind. "Im fat and I'm beautiful and I'm never going to change", well, maybe not so much. If you're happy that way and you're healthy (because you can be overweight and healthy) then yay! I'm behind you all the way. But if you are unhealthy, sedentary, and all you eat is twinkies, sorry babe but I can't accept that even if you do. but i'll keep my mouth shut about you eating fast food all the time if you don't whine about how much time i spend in the gym or the food i eat to get the body i have. I work at it.

but most of all I'm not sure when it became acceptable to comment on a person's weight at all. if they ask for help or motivation heck yeah give them that. but telling someone they are fat/unattractive/bad skin/weird hair/taste in music sucks, whatever- that's just rude.

mave34

In my experience as someone who couldn't put any weight on when I was young and was terribly underweight growing up, when I got into my 'impressionable years' and into my early 20's I used to get comments like "gee must be nice to be a size zero" in a rude tone from complete strangers in changing rooms at the mall. If i wore a dress, peers would say "what the hell are you wearing? I always felt I was doing something wrong to bother people. I had self esteem issues for the opposite reasons, I felt people disliked me because no matter what I did I could eat whatever and never gain a pound. I hide under a lot of clothing, even doubled my socks in gym class because people would comment on my skinny ankles. I felt like people judged me and this caused a lot of grief. It definitely can go both ways and thin people have their share of issues too.

I am also bothered by those posters that people post about "men would rather curves than sticks" or whatever they are, everyone is different and everyone has different tastes in what their ideal body type would be. Not ALL men want a women because of her big booty. Anyway, it's our society that has created this stigma, what is perfect? Well that depends on what you want your perfect to be. Accept what you were given, and improve what you want to improve to be at your best.

The reality is, people need to stop concerning themselves with other people so much. Everyone is worried about celebrities and what their neighbors are doing, what co workers are wearing, who's gaining who's losing and really I just don't care. I've learned to live for me, my family and to be on a journey for me and my health in the body I was given. No more doubling up my socks when I run Be happy within yourself.

BuddhaMom74

Bigger people have been marginalized, made fun of, beaten down for years.

Criticizing someones body is unacceptable either way, but bigger people still face the brunt of the criticism, make no mistake about that.

+1

ChristineinMA

It is? Not that I'm aware of.