not trying to start a fight here but just a point...
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That's why the body acceptance movement is so crucial and why we all should love our bodies (myself included because goodness knows I don't!). Whether it be "skinny shaming" or "fat shaming" or whatever, it's harmful and shouldn't be happening. I myself am guilty of saying stuff about feeding people - usually skinny (male) singers - but I've learned that it's not helpful to overall feelings of well-being, even when said only to myself.
This. Skinny bashing and Fat bashing are all body shaming. The really bad thing is that women face this pressure more often then men (although not exclusively, I know the guys get it too), and we often do it to each other!
Body shaming is bad. Doesn't matter what type of body at which the shaming is directed.0 -
It doesn't matter who it's directed at body shaming of any sort is unacceptable imho and I just hope that others get to that point too...
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I have been sick for 2 weeks, and I am down 6lbs putting me below my weight, I should be 135-140. 140 is where I look great, I am currently only 129. Here are some of the comments I heard this weekend.
ummmm, you gonna actually eat something
I can see you hipbones and count your ribs, you need to do something
You have to stop exercising your to low
anorexic *****, eat something
WTF, you are wasting away
You look sickly that small
Look at you, your clothes are falling off you
Thats what I got in 2 days over the weekend....just an example!
I'm curious though...... you've obviously lost a lot of weight according to your ticker.... didn't you get just as many comments or more when you were overweight?? And although none of these comments are acceptable, I'm thinking surely they were from "friends" or family, not random strangers. NO body shaming is okay, no matter which "side" it's on... I just know that in my case, all comments I've ever heard to overweight people are HORRIBLE and made even by random strangers on the street. All comments I've ever heard made toward slender people were more of a "man, I wish I had that "problem" kind of comment, OR something a little more negative by people closer to them, not just random strangers.... I don't know, I'm not by any means speaking for everyone, everywhere.... just an observation of my 50+ yrs on the planet....
I don't think it matters who the comments are coming from. Personally, I take these type of comments from people I know harder than when they come from random strangers. The point is that regardless of whether someone is calling you fat or giving you grief for being too skinny (in their mind) the comments are still hurtful and unacceptable. Even with as proud as I am of myself for how far I've come, all it takes is one "oh my, you're wasting away to nothing" comment to make me hate the girl in the mirror all over again the same way I did when I was over weight.
I agree with you. (Although I've never been skinny by any means, so I have no idea how that feels) I would be much more hurt by "friends" and family comments than from strangers as well. Totally agree that BOTH are unacceptable. And you should be proud... You're awesome! Never hate the girl in the mirror, please.... I'm sure there are FAR more people in your life who love you and the girl in the mirror at any size... :flowerforyou:0 -
neither should be acceptable, but somehow people assume "skinny" or even fit people can handle being shamed, while overweight people cannot. As though fit people should be, because they "deserve" to be, while that is not the case. No one should be shamed. Everyone should worry more about taking care of themselves and obtaining the weight they find that they are happy and healthy in and not worry with what others think they should be.0
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Why is it more socially acceptable to be overweight or obese these days, but it is not acceptable to be skinny.
You are not allowed to say that some needs to diet, but you are allowed to say that someone needs to eat a pizza or something.
i think that this is wrong, both are unhealthy, both are ways of life, heck both are even illnesses, eating yourself to death and people say sorry, people feel bad and try to support you, but people 'not eating enough' are ridiculed and told to seek professional help and in most cases shouted at and told to grow up.
Not right in my opinion.
LOL! It's NOT more socially acceptable to be bigger. I don't know where you're getting your intel from, but it's clearly flawed.0 -
Both are unacceptable. Period.
But I feel that overweight people tend to get it much worse. That is purely my experience (n=1), but I was SKINNY growing up, and my best friend was overweight. Kids (and adults!) would pick on her every day until she was in tears, but the comments I received on being underweight were few and far between.0 -
Both are unacceptable. Period.
But I feel that overweight people tend to get it much worse. That is purely my experience (n=1), but I was SKINNY growing up, and my best friend was overweight. Kids (and adults!) would pick on her every day until she was in tears, but the comments I received on being underweight were few and far between.
I come from the opposite end of receiving unwanted harsh words from people. Everyone felt it was acceptable to tell me I should have cheeseburgers shoved down my throat. Because, yea, that's totally acceptable to say to someone.0 -
It seems to me like it's more ok to be too thin because of the way the media glorifies it, but really I know a couple of women who are really tiny - one is due to Chrones and the other has always just been that way. They hate shopping almost as much as bigger women do and I never knew this until talking to them about it.
The one who is just small eats and eats and is just small but when she goes shopping she has the same complaint as many plus sized women: nothing fits her right and clothes just don't look right on her. It seems like the ideal is thin (but not too thin) with those perfect curvy hips (but not too curvy) and a decent sized bust (but not too big). It's unattainable and as a woman who has always been big and never on the underweight side I didn't realize how frustrating my friends get shopping when they don't have these desirable "curves".
Also - a member of my family who is elderly (so apparently that makes it ok to not sensor what is said) constantly comments on what people eat. For example, at a family birthday a while ago my cousin (who happens to be quite thin) didn't want a piece of cake after dinner and this family member said, quite loudly, that's ok you don't need it anyways. The girl is thin but really? You had to say that. Or like my brother - who is a big guy, played football for years as a tackle so he won't be small - eats a decent amount; big guy = big meals. He doesn't eat crap, and he's not "fat" he's just big and pretty built, always has been. Anyways, so whenever we get together my brother loads his plate and this family member always mentions how he should only take a bit now, see if he's hungry for more after instead of eating that much right away, or she will mention how he doesn't have any room left on his plate for anything else. It's these little comments that makes my brother feel like he shouldn't be hungry or eat but really, when you're 6'5 and 280 lbs, you need to eat even when you're 5'0 and 100 lbs you need to eat.
It makes me mad that this family member, because age apparently makes it ok to say what you want, continues to say these things. It's your family and it shouldn't matter if they're 100 lbs or 350lbs, support them and help them to be the best they can . . . by claiming loudly that you shouldn't fill your plate up or you really only need one of this and one of that isn't going to help. Even if someone over eats, pointing it out and making them feel bad isn't going to help them develop a healthy weight-loss routine; either they will eat more or stop eating altogether, neither is healthy.
It's really unforunate
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neither should be acceptable, but somehow people assume "skinny" or even fit people can handle being shamed, while overweight people cannot. As though fit people should be, because they "deserve" to be, while that is not the case. No one should be shamed. Everyone should worry more about taking care of themselves and obtaining the weight they find that they are happy and healthy in and not worry with what others think they should be.
This... What I said better said.0 -
From what I have seen, skinny or fit shaming is more acceptable than fat shaming. I'm not saying fat shaming doesn't exist, but that there are always someone to speak out against the fat shaming. When it comes to fit shaming, everybody tends to giggle or agree.
Particularly bad ones I have seen is memes insinuating that fit moms are bad moms (neglecting their children) or that the husbands/boyfriends of skinny/fit women are pedophiles who enjoy the body of a 12 year old boy. Comments like these are NOT greeted with the same backlash as fat shaming comments.
If I were to walk into a PTA meeting and tell a woman to lose weight, I would be brow beaten and ostracized, as I should be! If a woman walked in and told me I'm too thin and to gain weight, everybody would giggle or ignore the comment. Yes , one is more socially acceptable than the other.0 -
From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
Agree with all this."Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Hmm. I think saying "you need to eat a cheeseburger" to someone would be considered super rude and socially unacceptable, at least in the society I live in (which seems to involve far less comments of that sort to either the fat or the thin than some report). What I see as the difference (having been fat and also reasonably thin, although never especially so) is that no one would say something about your fatness and think it would be anything but a sensitive subject. At one point I did have a friend encourage me to lose weight, but carefully and encouragingly (and it still bothered me, of course). Usually it was just a topic that was avoided or felt kind of awkward if it related to someone else's weight (i.e., a discussion of how someone else's weight was commented on, people would proclaim how wrong that are and I'd sometimes get the impression they were making a point of it for my benefit, but who knows). Anyway, I always felt like I had to defuse it first by making comments so everyone knew I knew I was overweight (I tried not to do this obnoxiously, but again, who knows, easy to misjudge), and generally being nonchalant about it, jokey, because of course my whole thing was that I didn't mind being overweight.
Ugh, anyway, when I did lose a bunch of weight for a while my friend who had encouraged me and some others would tell me I was a "skinny minny" and "so thin" and stuff like that, and even say that I could eat more--all the things that seem to be reported as offensive, and it's absolutely true that they didn't strike me as offensive at all, but quite flattering. I liked them, although I was embarrassed to have my body commented on in general. I'm sure that's partly because I don't have any past experience of being made to feel about about being too thin (I was basically average when growing up and worried only about looking fat, although I wasn't), and because I'd lost weight, but I think it's also because I live in an environment that is somewhat less fat than the US on average and where thinness definitely is prized and I rarely hear comments about people being too thin.
But also I think comments about bodies, and certainly unflattering ones, are more looked down on in this environment than some others report, and people are hesitant in general to make comments at all. So there are social differences and I guess I'm lucky.
Oh, and my Facebook presence is limited, so I don't know what's floating around there. I will say that I get the positive intent of "real women have curves" (the fear that young women tend to hate themselves for being too fat when they are not, and feel pressure to be excessively thin) while seeing it as a mistake that ignores the effect on women with other natural body types, and certainly subject to being used with mean intent. So I don't like it. Anything about what body type men like as some kind of dumb slogan is obviously problematic for other reasons.0 -
Maybe we just need not take everything too personally...after all, different folks have different perspective of beauty, or in this case, "acceptable" weight and height proportions. A person can only be shamed of what he/she allows. Anybody can say anything, but at the end of the day, your reaction to it is the only thing relevant.0
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i have the lowest self esteem, i wasn't saying that larger women don't get abused, obviously i used to be larger so had my fair share of abuse, but i find that now i'm so much smaller i feel like people judge me even more than they did when i was larger. i asked for a smaller size in a shop the other day and the women in the changing rooms made a snide comment about them not having size four (UK) any where in store and that maybe i should eat something, this happens more than some people think, i'm even finding that shops aren't stocking sizes small enough for me any more, forcing me to buy kids clothes, they have special shops for larger ladies, but not for smaller ones...
like i said i have been on both sides but feel i am less socially accepted now than i ever was at a size 18 (UK)0 -
From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.
A) being thin/fit is not a privilege, as it takes hard work and dedication for most.
being told I need to be forcefed cheeseburger is as insensitive as me refuting that someone should eat less of them. Both are wrong. Both hurt and just because I may appear to have it all together, because I am priveleged to look the way I look doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I too can and have been embarrassed by things people lob at me for my appearance. Its a two-way street. We should all learn that its simply not ok on either side of the spectrum. Instead, we should encourage one another to be happy with ourselves and not try to make ourselves feel better by putting others down. 0 -
This. Fat shaming and skinny shaming are both things that happen, but they're usually coming from a different place. A concerned grandmother will tell you that you ought to put on some more weight. A former middle school bully will call you a fatty and tell you to stop eating. (Speaking in stereotypes, of course; I'm aware it sometimes goes the other way.)From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.
In my experience, it's the skinny-shamers who are more likely to be unaware that their comments are offensive. I remember being taught growing up that fat people are people, too, and that it's none of my business, and that it's never appropriate to tease someone for being fat; but I never got that lesson about skinny people. (I was the super skinny kid, and yes I got teased.) I think a lot of people think they're being genuinely helpful when they tell you you're too skinny. Like they're releasing you from the societal pressures that they think made you this way.
I also think a lot of skinny-shaming happens in direct response to being supportive of "curvy" women. We've all heard that real women have curves, right? Except by now we should know that we don't have to hate on skinny women in order to be supportive of fatter ones. Hint: In order to say "I like your body" you don't have to say "I hate other bodies".
Either way, it's awful. I call people out on it whenever I get the chance.0 -
From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.
A) being thin/fit is not a privilege, as it takes hard work and dedication for most. being told I need to be forcefed cheeseburger is as insensitive as me refuting that someone should eat less of them. Both are wrong. Both hurt and just because I may appear to have it all together, because I am priveleged to look the way I look doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I too can and have been embarrassed by things people lob at me for my appearance. Its a two-way street. We should all learn that its simply not ok on either side of the spectrum. Instead, we should encourage one another to be happy with ourselves and not try to make ourselves feel better by putting others down.
People with this view will never change. It doesn't matter if you have never made a rude comment about a fat person. People LIKE you have, and therefore you deserve retribution and have NO right to complain, because there is somebody out there who has faced much harsher criticism than you, so just deal with it.
Some skinny people were really horrible to overweight people. So all skinny people should now take it up the *kitten*, and they better enjoy it damn it. Check your privilege. (Cause we all know we were born with fit privilege, we didn't work for it or anything)0 -
This. Fat shaming and skinny shaming are both things that happen, but they're usually coming from a different place. A concerned grandmother will tell you that you ought to put on some more weight. A former middle school bully will call you a fatty and tell you to stop eating. (Speaking in stereotypes, of course; I'm aware it sometimes goes the other way.)From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt. I can brush off a comment from a family member that was genuine concern. I don't think anybody is referring to that.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.
In my experience, it's the skinny-shamers who are more likely to be unaware that their comments are offensive. I remember being taught growing up that fat people are people, too, and that it's none of my business, and that it's never appropriate to tease someone for being fat; but I never got that lesson about skinny people. (I was the super skinny kid, and yes I got teased.) I think a lot of people think they're being genuinely helpful when they tell you you're too skinny. Like they're releasing you from the societal pressures that they think made you this way.
I also think a lot of skinny-shaming happens in direct response to being supportive of "curvy" women. We've all heard that real women have curves, right? Except by now we should know that we don't have to hate on skinny women in order to be supportive of fatter ones. Hint: In order to say "I like your body" you don't have to say "I hate other bodies".
Either way, it's awful. I call people out on it whenever I get the chance.
Fit/skinny shaming goes far beyond genuine concern. It's down right rude and completely intentional. Calling fit mothers neglectful and selfish mothers, that they should be spending that time with their kids. Saying only pedophiles are attracted to thin/fit women, and not to trust them around your kids. This is not concern or unintentionally rude comments. It's downright meanness. (Is meanness a word?) I can brush off a comment from a family member that came from genuine concern. I don't think anybody is referring to that.0 -
From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.
A) being thin/fit is not a privilege, as it takes hard work and dedication for most. being told I need to be forcefed cheeseburger is as insensitive as me refuting that someone should eat less of them. Both are wrong. Both hurt and just because I may appear to have it all together, because I am priveleged to look the way I look doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I too can and have been embarrassed by things people lob at me for my appearance. Its a two-way street. We should all learn that its simply not ok on either side of the spectrum. Instead, we should encourage one another to be happy with ourselves and not try to make ourselves feel better by putting others down.
People with this view will never change. It doesn't matter if you have never made a rude comment about a fat person. People LIKE you have, and therefore you deserve retribution and have NO right to complain, because there is somebody out there who has faced much harsher criticism than you, so just deal with it.
Some skinny people were really horrible to overweight people. So all skinny people should now take it up the *kitten*, and they better enjoy it damn it. Check your privilege. (Cause we all know we were born with fit privilege, we didn't work for it or anything)
Um, I have NEVER shamed ANYONE and I NEVER would. I cannot and will not accept responsibility of anyone who was ever a *kitten* to anyone else for their weight or anything else. I never said I had it worse. I said it was equal. You are right. Skinny people have been horrible to overweight people. Just as overweight people have been to skinny people. I said that both were wrong for it and that it needs to be stopped and that we should all encourage one another to get to the point we all feel healthy and happy.
ETA: people like me. You mean, like yourself? As you're holding a weight and flexing? Clearly we haven't worked for it.
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From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.
A) being thin/fit is not a privilege, as it takes hard work and dedication for most. being told I need to be forcefed cheeseburger is as insensitive as me refuting that someone should eat less of them. Both are wrong. Both hurt and just because I may appear to have it all together, because I am priveleged to look the way I look doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I too can and have been embarrassed by things people lob at me for my appearance. Its a two-way street. We should all learn that its simply not ok on either side of the spectrum. Instead, we should encourage one another to be happy with ourselves and not try to make ourselves feel better by putting others down.
People with this view will never change. It doesn't matter if you have never made a rude comment about a fat person. People LIKE you have, and therefore you deserve retribution and have NO right to complain, because there is somebody out there who has faced much harsher criticism than you, so just deal with it.
Some skinny people were really horrible to overweight people. So all skinny people should now take it up the *kitten*, and they better enjoy it damn it. Check your privilege. (Cause we all know we were born with fit privilege, we didn't work for it or anything)
Um, I have NEVER shamed ANYONE and I NEVER would. I cannot and will not accept responsibility of anyone who was ever a *kitten* to anyone else for their weight or anything else. I never said I had it worse. I said it was equal. You are right. Skinny people have been horrible to overweight people. Just as overweight people have been to skinny people. I said that both were wrong for it and that it needs to be stopped and that we should all encourage one another to get to the point we all feel healthy and happy.
Whoa killer. It's sarcastic. This is the viewpoint of those who constantly excuse fit shaming and say it's not comparable to fat shaming.0 -
People with this view will never change. It doesn't matter if you have never made a rude comment about a fat person. People LIKE you have, and therefore you deserve retribution and have NO right to complain, because there is somebody out there who has faced much harsher criticism than you, so just deal with it.
Some skinny people were really horrible to overweight people. So all skinny people should now take it up the *kitten*, and they better enjoy it damn it. Check your privilege. (Cause we all know we were born with fit privilege, we didn't work for it or anything)
I'm rather puzzled by this comment as no one was defending shaming anyone, including the post you quoted.0 -
From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.
A) being thin/fit is not a privilege, as it takes hard work and dedication for most. being told I need to be forcefed cheeseburger is as insensitive as me refuting that someone should eat less of them. Both are wrong. Both hurt and just because I may appear to have it all together, because I am priveleged to look the way I look doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I too can and have been embarrassed by things people lob at me for my appearance. Its a two-way street. We should all learn that its simply not ok on either side of the spectrum. Instead, we should encourage one another to be happy with ourselves and not try to make ourselves feel better by putting others down.
People with this view will never change. It doesn't matter if you have never made a rude comment about a fat person. People LIKE you have, and therefore you deserve retribution and have NO right to complain, because there is somebody out there who has faced much harsher criticism than you, so just deal with it.
Some skinny people were really horrible to overweight people. So all skinny people should now take it up the *kitten*, and they better enjoy it damn it. Check your privilege. (Cause we all know we were born with fit privilege, we didn't work for it or anything)
I'm hoping this is sarcasm?
"Fat" people can be and usually are just as mean as some of those skinny people have been; I hear girls all the time who are bigger (at the gym) hating on a girl who is 100lbs soaking wet running on the treadmill - this doesn't make either ok. I was picked on in highschool by a girl who was waaaaay bigger than me; and she was spreading rumours that she saw the size of clothing I wear (apparently a 28 in grade 10) and she was only a 12 and I was so much fatter than her. I saw her 2 years ago and she's, by first guess, at least 350 maybe 400 lbs. Was I mean to her? No. I said hello, did about 20 minutes of catching up and when I got home she wanted to be my friend on facebook. People who are overweight can be just as mean - it's usually due to insecurities about whatever. Just because SOME skinny people made fun of or were mean to SOME bigger people doesn't mean all of them are; and just because SOME bigger people are shy and are "ashamed" of being big, that doesn't mean there aren't SOME who are just as mean as their size 2 counterparts.
This also doesn't make the skinny ones privileged . . . at all. Were they always "skinny"? Maybe . . . but weight and clothing size doesn't always determine health. I was with someone for years who was 6'5 and about 200 lbs - he was thin and "looked" fit but I could run a mile before he could, I could squat and bench more than he could and I made better food choices but yet, because he was thin and handsome, girls always made fun of me and guys called him a "chubby chaser". It hurt . . . but I was healthier than he was for a long time . . . he was just this "skinny fat". I know that's not nice to say, but he was thin and not fit . . . he couldn't run a mile and he smoked a pack a day.
Some people are born thin - it's genetics but others have worked to be fit and that's a completely different way of life. Body builders weren't born that way, they worked for it - but are they being shamed? Not as much because they're fit however I'm putting in just as much work as they are (different methods = different outcome) and planning my meals, watching what I eat and working out 6 days/week. I'm not pumping iron, but I'm still there all the time at the gym. People who are bigger and want to be healthier work just as hard and being fit is not a privilege, it's something everyone has to work at because if you don't, you will lose it at some point.0 -
From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.
A) being thin/fit is not a privilege, as it takes hard work and dedication for most. being told I need to be forcefed cheeseburger is as insensitive as me refuting that someone should eat less of them. Both are wrong. Both hurt and just because I may appear to have it all together, because I am priveleged to look the way I look doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I too can and have been embarrassed by things people lob at me for my appearance. Its a two-way street. We should all learn that its simply not ok on either side of the spectrum. Instead, we should encourage one another to be happy with ourselves and not try to make ourselves feel better by putting others down.
People with this view will never change. It doesn't matter if you have never made a rude comment about a fat person. People LIKE you have, and therefore you deserve retribution and have NO right to complain, because there is somebody out there who has faced much harsher criticism than you, so just deal with it.
Some skinny people were really horrible to overweight people. So all skinny people should now take it up the *kitten*, and they better enjoy it damn it. Check your privilege. (Cause we all know we were born with fit privilege, we didn't work for it or anything)
Um, I have NEVER shamed ANYONE and I NEVER would. I cannot and will not accept responsibility of anyone who was ever a *kitten* to anyone else for their weight or anything else. I never said I had it worse. I said it was equal. You are right. Skinny people have been horrible to overweight people. Just as overweight people have been to skinny people. I said that both were wrong for it and that it needs to be stopped and that we should all encourage one another to get to the point we all feel healthy and happy.
Whoa killer. It's sarcastic. This is the viewpoint of those who constantly excuse fit shaming and say it's not comparable to fat shaming.
I'm not the only one who didn't get that your response was intended to be sarcasm, lol. But, yes. It's sad that that is how it is.0 -
Why is it more socially acceptable to be overweight or obese these days, but it is not acceptable to be skinny.
This does not exist. Quit trying to start fights in the community, that's droll.0 -
From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.
A) being thin/fit is not a privilege, as it takes hard work and dedication for most. being told I need to be forcefed cheeseburger is as insensitive as me refuting that someone should eat less of them. Both are wrong. Both hurt and just because I may appear to have it all together, because I am priveleged to look the way I look doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I too can and have been embarrassed by things people lob at me for my appearance. Its a two-way street. We should all learn that its simply not ok on either side of the spectrum. Instead, we should encourage one another to be happy with ourselves and not try to make ourselves feel better by putting others down.
People with this view will never change. It doesn't matter if you have never made a rude comment about a fat person. People LIKE you have, and therefore you deserve retribution and have NO right to complain, because there is somebody out there who has faced much harsher criticism than you, so just deal with it.
Some skinny people were really horrible to overweight people. So all skinny people should now take it up the *kitten*, and they better enjoy it damn it. Check your privilege. (Cause we all know we were born with fit privilege, we didn't work for it or anything)
I'm hoping this is sarcasm?
"Fat" people can be and usually are just as mean as some of those skinny people have been; I hear girls all the time who are bigger (at the gym) hating on a girl who is 100lbs soaking wet running on the treadmill - this doesn't make either ok. I was picked on in highschool by a girl who was waaaaay bigger than me; and she was spreading rumours that she saw the size of clothing I wear (apparently a 28 in grade 10) and she was only a 12 and I was so much fatter than her. I saw her 2 years ago and she's, by first guess, at least 350 maybe 400 lbs. Was I mean to her? No. I said hello, did about 20 minutes of catching up and when I got home she wanted to be my friend on facebook. People who are overweight can be just as mean - it's usually due to insecurities about whatever. Just because SOME skinny people made fun of or were mean to SOME bigger people doesn't mean all of them are; and just because SOME bigger people are shy and are "ashamed" of being big, that doesn't mean there aren't SOME who are just as mean as their size 2 counterparts.
This fact that you can't tell it's sarcasm speaks volumes about the double standard. While I was being sarcastic, others have said this with a straight face, numerous times.0 -
From my experience, it's not more socially acceptable to be obese. Look on any news feed when topics like rising health care costs or people who weigh more paying more for seats on flights because they take more room and etc.
I don't see one being more acceptable than the other in my opinion. Fact, if you are obese you are health risks and have self esteem issues. If you are skinny, doesn't mean you are healthy as plenty people are skinny fat and etc.
I prefer not to think about it at all. I'm obese and working to lower my weight so that's good enough for me. What I want for me shouldn't be pushed onto the rest of society. I'll happily encourage anyone who wants to improve their health though.0 -
Why is it more socially acceptable to be overweight or obese these days, but it is not acceptable to be skinny.
This does not exist. Quit trying to start fights in the community, that's droll.
i'm not, i was just commenting on how i feel i get more abuse now than 84lbs ago, and wondered who felt the shame or what peoples opinions on this were.0 -
Why is it more socially acceptable to be overweight or obese these days, but it is not acceptable to be skinny.
This does not exist. Quit trying to start fights in the community, that's droll.
i'm not, i was just commenting on how i feel i get more abuse now than 84lbs ago, and wondered who felt the shame or what peoples opinions on this were.
I'm gonna have to agree. When I was overweight (granted just slightly) I got tons of compliments. (Fake or real who knows). Now that I'm fit, I only get negative comments. Just the other day I received my first compliment about my arms and was over joyed. But it quickly soured when a woman said I was setting a bad example for my daughter and all other little girls. She went on and on, but I'll spare you the details.0 -
Why is it more socially acceptable to be overweight or obese these days, but it is not acceptable to be skinny.
This does not exist. Quit trying to start fights in the community, that's droll.
i'm not, i was just commenting on how i feel i get more abuse now than 84lbs ago, and wondered who felt the shame or what peoples opinions on this were.
Jealousy, perhaps. As someone pointed out, the population of the US tends to be obese. A lot of the time, people don't even realize when they are behaving jealously.0 -
Why is it more socially acceptable to be overweight or obese these days, but it is not acceptable to be skinny.
This does not exist. Quit trying to start fights in the community, that's droll.
i'm not, i was just commenting on how i feel i get more abuse now than 84lbs ago, and wondered who felt the shame or what peoples opinions on this were.
I think what the OP meant was that's is more PC to comment on someone who needs to gain weight (or looks like they do) than it is for someone to comment on someone who needs to lose weight.
Maybe it's not OK to be obese . . . and people's opinions haven't changed (and maybe won't ever) but it's not PC to comment on that fact however, it's ok for someone to notice when another is perhaps underweight and should eat more.
Not saying that either is ok . . . I think it's more about commenting that the actual fact of being either or.0 -
From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.
A) being thin/fit is not a privilege, as it takes hard work and dedication for most.
Of course, but that has nothing to do with what was said. In most social environments (at least most the poster you are responding to knows, and that's certainly true for me also) being thin is preferable. It's far more likely, when talking about real people (not some actress) that people will be praised or considered worthy of jealous for being thin and be considered unfortunate or at fault for being fat. Being thin is good, being fat is bad. You seem to be saying that that's right, and I differ in that I just don't happen to put so much moral value into either, but I certainly think being fit is worth working for, which is why I'm bothering. I just don't think I was a different person or worth less when I chose to focus on other things. being told I need to be forcefed cheeseburger is as insensitive as me refuting that someone should eat less of them. Both are wrong. Both hurt and just because I may appear to have it all together, because I am priveleged to look the way I look doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I too can and have been embarrassed by things people lob at me for my appearance. Its a two-way street. We should all learn that its simply not ok on either side of the spectrum. Instead, we should encourage one another to be happy with ourselves and not try to make ourselves feel better by putting others down.
I totally agree with you here, and in fact I pointed out that the cheeseburger comment is self-evidently rude and insulting and I don't think it's socially acceptable (not in the social environment I know, anyway). But I do think it's worth noting that "you are SO thin" can be intended (and probably is) as a compliment and plenty of people (including me, back in the day) would be happy to receive it, whereas "you are so fat!" in contemporary US, anyway, is nothing but an insult (or at best a dumb and socially awkward joke about a formerly very thin pregnant woman, which is the only other way I've ever heard it). So I don't think we should assume "shaming" as an intent, even though I think everyone should be aware of comments that could be perceived as insulting or just ignore others who might hear them (like the "real women" nonsense). And clearly telling people to eat is rude.
Also, it's worth being aware that there are differences in social environments, I suppose.0
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