Body Image

NikkiDerrig386

Different people are more or less sensitive to comments from other people & social expectations. In addition, some people are more resilient when faced with mockery or abuse about their body. Also some people are particularly high consumers of media that contains this messaging in the first place. These reasons mainly explain why some people develop body issues and others don't.

Given that, I really struggle to understand some of the responses here. In particular things along the lines of "what are you even talking about, only superficial people attention to social norms" (obvs. I exaggerate for effect). Here are two examples of what I mean:

I'm mixed Mexican and white also and I have no problem with feeling like I don't fit in a certain body image stereotype. That's probably more an issue related to your personality than your race.

Absolutely not. [....] I have never felt any "social pressures" to fit some preconceived notion of what someone is "supposed" to look like or because of someone's notion of what sexy is.

Like...um...good for you? Do you think that because you've magically learned to love yourself, that somehow means it's as easy as flicking a switch for those people who haven't? I am confused I guess. Are these comments just people flaunting their confidence to try and make the OP feel even worse? Or are they merely oblivious to the need for sensitivity? Learning to love yourself and your body can be an extremely difficult journey for some people. There is nothing constructive in alienating that person further or making them feel stupid for believing damaging social messages in the first place.

To the OP -- It's a long process to get to your happy place. Just keep plodding along and trying to challenge all the nastiness you absorb from society. I agree with the other person who suggested affirmations. They sound really corny at first but can be quite helpful for gradually changing the way you view yourself.

Girl bye

fivethreeone

Different people are more or less sensitive to comments from other people & social expectations. In addition, some people are more resilient when faced with mockery or abuse about their body. Also some people are particularly high consumers of media that contains this messaging in the first place. These reasons mainly explain why some people develop body issues and others don't.

Given that, I really struggle to understand some of the responses here. In particular things along the lines of "what are you even talking about, only superficial people attention to social norms" (obvs. I exaggerate for effect). Here are two examples of what I mean:

I'm mixed Mexican and white also and I have no problem with feeling like I don't fit in a certain body image stereotype. That's probably more an issue related to your personality than your race.

Absolutely not. [....] I have never felt any "social pressures" to fit some preconceived notion of what someone is "supposed" to look like or because of someone's notion of what sexy is.

Like...um...good for you? Do you think that because you've magically learned to love yourself, that somehow means it's as easy as flicking a switch for those people who haven't? I am confused I guess. Are these comments just people flaunting their confidence to try and make the OP feel even worse? Or are they merely oblivious to the need for sensitivity? Learning to love yourself and your body can be an extremely difficult journey for some people. There is nothing constructive in alienating that person further or making them feel stupid for believing damaging social messages in the first place.

To the OP -- It's a long process to get to your happy place. Just keep plodding along and trying to challenge all the nastiness you absorb from society. I agree with the other person who suggested affirmations. They sound really corny at first but can be quite helpful for gradually changing the way you view yourself.

lol

_Waffle_

I am telling people to calm it down because people are acting like I'm sitting in the mirror crying about people not liking me. I don't care if people don't like my body!! I am fine with my body (NOW) and did have a borderline eating disorder when I was younger. I go up and down - one day I like where I am then the next I feel like a heffer. Thats also because I am 5'1 so 5 lbs on me looks 20 times different then a woman who is 5'10. So yes CALM it down and frankly some of the responses are rude. I am coming from a place where I did have body image issues I was looking for stories from others and how they deal with their body image issues (if they had one). This is supposed to be a safe place and a place to get support. Instead it is coming off kind of mean and people saying "i don't give a bla bla bla" well good for you some of us come from different places.................

Those of you who are mixed sorry you didn't encounter my same issues.

Yeah, I had achilles tendonitis last winter and had to stop running for months. I'm really sorry for those of you that didn't experience this as well. It sucks to be you with normal ligaments.

acorsaut89

I don't compare myself to models at all mostly because I don't read a lot of magazines or watch a whole lot of TV but what I do find I'm doing (and I do it A LOT) is I compare myself to other women at the gym and I hate that I do it.

I compare how their butts look in compression pants vs my butt and if you can see my "pouch" or if it's well hidden by the length of my top and so on. I feel like they're also comparing themselves to me, but in the "at least I'm smaller than her" way.

I also happen to carry my weight evenly, so it's not all in my stomach or thighs or whatever but I also am big, I've never been petite and I probably never will be, some people are just bigger than others. I was told a while ago that I'm very svelte and I have an incredible shape to my body, even if I'm not at the weight I want to be. This comment was made to me by a very close friend who is about 5'3 and runs all the time and has a tiny, petite figure. She mentioned she wishes she could build muscle like I do or have the quads I have . . . and she wasn't being fake either. Sometimes we need to step back and just look at those around us - maybe they wish they could have something you have. It's really hard to not wish for what you don't have but sometimes we need to look at who we are as people and enjoy it. I know there are always going to be women who make us want to go home and binge eat some cake but it takes all shapes and sizes - maybe you have amazing hair and the girl who is a size 2 beside you couldn't volumize her hair if her life depended on it. We all have these things other women wish they had but we need to stop comparing ourselves or think we should fit a certain size/type/body shape/whatever.

I am never (or probably never) going to be a size 2, and I'm ok with that. I've decided I am going to work on lifting and BF % instead because with the way I'm shaping up now, I think I'll like my body with more definition. It's ok to be a muscular woman, not every woman has to be 5'2 with a petite frame like the media seems to portray.

Love yourself! I think all women are amazing - short, tall, big, skinny, black, white, mexican, whatever - we are all awesome and we are all on here, doing our best to better ourselves. These kinds of posts make me sad because I know that even if you fit into that stereotype, you may not be happy. Being skinny =/= being happy . . . loosing the weight won't really change how you feel inside, although it may change how people perceive you (and that's a whole different story right there) but it won't make you happy or feel any better about your life. You need to love you, make the changes physically you need to, but love yourself and you will notice a huge change.

NikkiDerrig386

I am telling people to calm it down because people are acting like I'm sitting in the mirror crying about people not liking me. I don't care if people don't like my body!! I am fine with my body (NOW) and did have a borderline eating disorder when I was younger. I go up and down - one day I like where I am then the next I feel like a heffer. Thats also because I am 5'1 so 5 lbs on me looks 20 times different then a woman who is 5'10. So yes CALM it down and frankly some of the responses are rude. I am coming from a place where I did have body image issues I was looking for stories from others and how they deal with their body image issues (if they had one). This is supposed to be a safe place and a place to get support. Instead it is coming off kind of mean and people saying "i don't give a bla bla bla" well good for you some of us come from different places.................

Those of you who are mixed sorry you didn't encounter my same issues.

Yeah, I had achilles tendonitis last winter and had to stop running for months. I'm really sorry for those of you that didn't experience this as well. It sucks to be you with normal ligaments.

This doesn't even make sense

PikaKnight

Different people are more or less sensitive to comments from other people & social expectations. In addition, some people are more resilient when faced with mockery or abuse about their body. Also some people are particularly high consumers of media that contains this messaging in the first place. These reasons mainly explain why some people develop body issues and others don't.

Given that, I really struggle to understand some of the responses here. In particular things along the lines of "what are you even talking about, only superficial people attention to social norms" (obvs. I exaggerate for effect). Here are two examples of what I mean:

I'm mixed Mexican and white also and I have no problem with feeling like I don't fit in a certain body image stereotype. That's probably more an issue related to your personality than your race.

Absolutely not. [....] I have never felt any "social pressures" to fit some preconceived notion of what someone is "supposed" to look like or because of someone's notion of what sexy is.

Like...um...good for you? Do you think that because you've magically learned to love yourself, that somehow means it's as easy as flicking a switch for those people who haven't? I am confused I guess. Are these comments just people flaunting their confidence to try and make the OP feel even worse? Or are they merely oblivious to the need for sensitivity? Learning to love yourself and your body can be an extremely difficult journey for some people. There is nothing constructive in alienating that person further or making them feel stupid for believing damaging social messages in the first place.

To the OP -- It's a long process to get to your happy place. Just keep plodding along and trying to challenge all the nastiness you absorb from society. I agree with the other person who suggested affirmations. They sound really corny at first but can be quite helpful for gradually changing the way you view yourself.

lol

Double LOL

PikaKnight

I am telling people to calm it down because people are acting like I'm sitting in the mirror crying about people not liking me. I don't care if people don't like my body!! I am fine with my body (NOW) and did have a borderline eating disorder when I was younger. I go up and down - one day I like where I am then the next I feel like a heffer. Thats also because I am 5'1 so 5 lbs on me looks 20 times different then a woman who is 5'10. So yes CALM it down and frankly some of the responses are rude. I am coming from a place where I did have body image issues I was looking for stories from others and how they deal with their body image issues (if they had one). This is supposed to be a safe place and a place to get support. Instead it is coming off kind of mean and people saying "i don't give a bla bla bla" well good for you some of us come from different places.................

Those of you who are mixed sorry you didn't encounter my same issues.

Yeah, I had achilles tendonitis last winter and had to stop running for months. I'm really sorry for those of you that didn't experience this as well. It sucks to be you with normal ligaments.

This doesn't even make sense

Exactly. Hint hint.

21million

I have more of a personality complex. I never know if I should get drunk and river dance or move to a cottage, cook, make cheese and raise three handsome sons named Vinny, Giovanni and Paulie. It is really ****ed up I wish I just bothered with my hair being either red or black.

PikaKnight

I have more of a personality complex. I never know if I should get drunk and river dance or move to a cottage, cook, make cheese and raise three handsome sons named Vinny, Giovanni and Paulie. It is really ****ed up I wish I just bothered with my hair being either red or black.

:laugh:

GertrudeHorse

Different people are more or less sensitive to comments from other people & social expectations. In addition, some people are more resilient when faced with mockery or abuse about their body. Also some people are particularly high consumers of media that contains this messaging in the first place. These reasons mainly explain why some people develop body issues and others don't.

Given that, I really struggle to understand some of the responses here. In particular things along the lines of "what are you even talking about, only superficial people attention to social norms" (obvs. I exaggerate for effect). Here are two examples of what I mean:

I'm mixed Mexican and white also and I have no problem with feeling like I don't fit in a certain body image stereotype. That's probably more an issue related to your personality than your race.

Absolutely not. [....] I have never felt any "social pressures" to fit some preconceived notion of what someone is "supposed" to look like or because of someone's notion of what sexy is.

Like...um...good for you? Do you think that because you've magically learned to love yourself, that somehow means it's as easy as flicking a switch for those people who haven't? I am confused I guess. Are these comments just people flaunting their confidence to try and make the OP feel even worse? Or are they merely oblivious to the need for sensitivity? Learning to love yourself and your body can be an extremely difficult journey for some people. There is nothing constructive in alienating that person further or making them feel stupid for believing damaging social messages in the first place.

To the OP -- It's a long process to get to your happy place. Just keep plodding along and trying to challenge all the nastiness you absorb from society. I agree with the other person who suggested affirmations. They sound really corny at first but can be quite helpful for gradually changing the way you view yourself.

I don't think the purpose of those comments were to make the OP feel stupid or alienate her. No one said "how dare you feel that way!" Everyone experiences life differently and they were just sharing their take. She asked a question and they answered it. I agree with you, self acceptance is a life long journey and I think it's constructive to hear from women that don't let societal pressure affect them as much to show that it can be overcome. Some women just simply choose not to care...I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Doesn't mean they're better...just different.

My 2 cents

Nothing wrong with that at all, of course. I think we should all strive to giver fewer f*cks about what other people think. Also I don't think the comments were malicious or anything, just the way they read was a bit...off. I sort of see it a bit like if someone had posted a thread asking for help with budgeting or something and everyone had responded being like "I don't know what you're talking about, I've always had tonnes of money". I just don't see what it's adding. It wasn't like they were giving suggestions. But whatevs. Not a criminal offence or anything!

0somuchbetter0

Native American, Irish, French, Polish, British, who knows what the heck else. I just put myself down as "mutt" and roll with whatever it is. It's not as if I can change that. Just work with what you've got. You might as well worry about the planetary drift of the solar system or the distance of the Earth to the Moon. In both scenarios you have the same amount of power to change the outcome.

The OP's question is not about DNA, it's about culture. Yes, different cultures have different perceptions of beauty.

MegE_N

I have body image issues.

But I compensate knowing how freaking awesome I am in every other possible way.

So, there's that.

MissHolidayGolightly

Women aren't food (meat, bones); they are people.

sseqwnp

Women aren't food (meat, bones); they are people.

People are meat and bones. And can be food.

mccindy72

Women aren't food (meat, bones); they are people.

People are meat and bones. And can be food.

there is more to a person than the physical form of said person.

GibbsGirl13072

Women aren't food (meat, bones); they are people.

People are meat and bones. And can be food.

I literally LOL'd at this. Probably too much. :laugh:

PRMinx

In what world is telling someone it's ok to love yourself however you are a rude and mean comment? Seriously?

2013sk

Men and women have body image issues. Even people who aren't mixed race have body image issues. You'll be happier when you stop worrying about what others think or look like and just focus on loving yourself the way you are.

Exactly this ^^^^^^^^^^

HealthyBodySickMind

Let’s calm it down people. I am not worried about what others think. Everyone strives towards what body they like or want to be like. To sit here and act like you are 100% loving yourself/body is a down right lie. If that was the case none of us would be here on this site counting calories.

I only count calories because I have OCD.

I'm beginning to think I'm in this camp^^

SingRunTing

Women aren't food (meat, bones); they are people.

People are meat and bones. And can be food.

sloth3toes

Women aren't food (meat, bones); they are people.

People are meat and bones. And can be food.