"You MUST send me a message if you want to be my friend"

Options
1…6781012

Replies

  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Options
    It is generally considered lazy and kind of rude to send a FR without a message. Who just adds random people without mutuals or any knowledge of their personality whatsoever? I am uncomfortable with accepting those.
  • dansls1
    dansls1 Posts: 309 Member
    Options
    My favorite thing is all the people who post about having these strict requirements to be their friends - and then you check out their profile and it's private so nobody can actually know any of that (including to send them a message with the fr) unless they are already their friend. And there are 3 like that who posted just on the first page of this thread.
  • sympha01
    sympha01 Posts: 942 Member
    Options
    Hmm. Person who feels entitled to have every stranger accept their creepy, random, blank friend request.

    Has closed profile preventing strangers (oh -- and anyone they send a blank friend request to -- LOL!) from seeing anything about them.

    Okay.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Options
    It is generally considered lazy and kind of rude to send a FR without a message. Who just adds random people without mutuals or any knowledge of their personality whatsoever? I am uncomfortable with accepting those.

    th?id=HN.608028727848537055&pid=1.7
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Options
    Hmm. Person who feels entitled to have every stranger accept their creepy, random, blank friend request.

    Has closed profile preventing strangers (oh -- and anyone they send an blank friend request to -- LOL!) can't see anything about them.

    Okay.

    Ha! Exactly. OP, wait until you add a rando who immediately starts acting a fool and completely creeping you out. I promise you will feel differently about this issue.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,983 Member
    Options
    "Hey, I was really inspired by your forum posts, can we be friends?"
    "I'd love to see your journey and hopefully motivate each other."
    "Your GIF was awesome, got anymore?"
    "You're a meanie, and I appreciate your brutal honesty."

    It doesn't even have to be something flattering (boo to all of you saying this is about narcissism). If we have a similar sense of humor or life philosophy or heck, I think I sent a FR to someone once because she was an English teacher and I liked her personality and I thought we'd get along.

    It's all about, "Are we compatible?" not, "why do you think I'm awesome?"

    Seriously, I'd rather hear "I think we share a sense of humor" than "I think you're inspiring." The latter is way too much pressure anyway.
    Seriously. Or looking for motivation. I'm not motivating!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    My favorite thing is all the people who post about having these strict requirements to be their friends - and then you check out their profile and it's private so nobody can actually know any of that (including to send them a message with the fr) unless they are already their friend. And there are 3 like that who posted just on the first page of this thread.

    I actually had my profile public for a long time. I got a very creepy message about a picture of my daughter that was in my profile and I closed it. I have not made it public since then.

    But I see your point... still I can choose to accept or deny at my leisure. It's my MFP account.
  • burning2much
    burning2much Posts: 4,846 Member
    Options
    Leaving a message takes all of two seconds...is it REALLY that big of a deal not to send one. I happen to be one of those people and yes I do in fact like to know how the person found me. if we have mutual friends or they feel I can help them in some way.

    I agree with this! I only have just 40+ friends and keep it small
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Options
    "Hey, I was really inspired by your forum posts, can we be friends?"
    "I'd love to see your journey and hopefully motivate each other."
    "Your GIF was awesome, got anymore?"
    "You're a meanie, and I appreciate your brutal honesty."

    It doesn't even have to be something flattering (boo to all of you saying this is about narcissism). If we have a similar sense of humor or life philosophy or heck, I think I sent a FR to someone once because she was an English teacher and I liked her personality and I thought we'd get along.

    It's all about, "Are we compatible?" not, "why do you think I'm awesome?"

    Seriously, I'd rather hear "I think we share a sense of humor" than "I think you're inspiring." The latter is way too much pressure anyway.
    Seriously. Or looking for motivation. I'm not motivating!

    Yes, these are definitely all true. I'm in no way motivating... unless it's motivating towards some ice cream/gelato, lol. I'm just saying, it's nice to know why a person is FR'ing you. Doesn't have to be a compliment in anyway. I've gotten FR's simply because I live in the same state as the other person. I'm cool with that. Or because I like Dr. Who. Yay whovians! But it only takes a few seconds to type those things out to the person you want to FR, and who knows, it could open up a whole new chapter of socialization because of it.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Options
    My favorite thing is all the people who post about having these strict requirements to be their friends - and then you check out their profile and it's private so nobody can actually know any of that (including to send them a message with the fr) unless they are already their friend. And there are 3 like that who posted just on the first page of this thread.

    I actually had my profile public for a long time. I got a very creepy message about a picture of my daughter that was in my profile and I closed it. I have not made it public since then.

    But I see your point... still I can choose to accept or deny at my leisure. It's my MFP account.

    This is why mine is private. Someone started copying my pictures and posting them in threads. Not cool. I am open to FRs, but I just want to know a little something about the person first or gain a sense of their personality in the forums. Nothing about that is unreasonable.
  • _Tink_
    _Tink_ Posts: 3,845 Member
    Options
    My favorite thing is all the people who post about having these strict requirements to be their friends - and then you check out their profile and it's private so nobody can actually know any of that (including to send them a message with the fr) unless they are already their friend. And there are 3 like that who posted just on the first page of this thread.

    I don't post it on my page, so there's no point in keeping my profile open. I'm not actively seeking friends.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    Options
    "Hey, I was really inspired by your forum posts, can we be friends?"
    "I'd love to see your journey and hopefully motivate each other."
    "Your GIF was awesome, got anymore?"
    "You're a meanie, and I appreciate your brutal honesty."

    It doesn't even have to be something flattering (boo to all of you saying this is about narcissism). If we have a similar sense of humor or life philosophy or heck, I think I sent a FR to someone once because she was an English teacher and I liked her personality and I thought we'd get along.

    It's all about, "Are we compatible?" not, "why do you think I'm awesome?"

    Seriously, I'd rather hear "I think we share a sense of humor" than "I think you're inspiring." The latter is way too much pressure anyway.

    How about the awkward way I propositioned you? "Um, I really like the look of your baked goods and would like to see more of them" or at least that's how I remember it. :flowerforyou:
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Options
    This thread makes me wonder how many people are going to get blank FR's just because of this topic :laugh: :tongue:
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Options
    This isn't real life just so everyone knows.

    Many people on MFP actually meet up and hang out IRL.
  • sympha01
    sympha01 Posts: 942 Member
    Options
    Yeah, it's totally cool for anyone who wants or needs to keep their profile private. I get it.

    But those same people really CAN'T expect other people to accept their friend requests without some sort of a message introducing themselves and why they think they should be friends.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Options
    "Hey, I was really inspired by your forum posts, can we be friends?"
    "I'd love to see your journey and hopefully motivate each other."
    "Your GIF was awesome, got anymore?"
    "You're a meanie, and I appreciate your brutal honesty."

    It doesn't even have to be something flattering (boo to all of you saying this is about narcissism). If we have a similar sense of humor or life philosophy or heck, I think I sent a FR to someone once because she was an English teacher and I liked her personality and I thought we'd get along.

    It's all about, "Are we compatible?" not, "why do you think I'm awesome?"

    Seriously, I'd rather hear "I think we share a sense of humor" than "I think you're inspiring." The latter is way too much pressure anyway.

    How about the awkward way I propositioned you? "Um, I really like the look of your baked goods and would like to see more of them" or at least that's how I remember it. :flowerforyou:

    I used to put cupcakes as my avatar, which I changed based on holiday/season. That got me alot of FR's! haha. Cause seriously... cupcakes!

    Today is my husband's birthday and I have Reese's Peanut Butter Cupcakes cooling on the counter before I frost them. :happy:
  • Kaelakcr
    Kaelakcr Posts: 505 Member
    Options
    I only add girls who have developed an ED and are in that "sweet spot" where they aren't bulky like some of the girls who like to lift weight but also aren't so super thin that I fear they might break. Just the right amount of thin and daddy issues. Also they have to be between 18-19. I don't need old girls on my friends list.

    This is kind of ****ty to say, as someone who recovered from an eating disorder. I know MFP isn't all lovey-huggy, but have a little bit of respect for the people who go through something ****ing awful every day of their life. Jesus. I can take a good joke but that just wasn't funny.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Options
    Here is the disclaimer I use:

    "If you would like to add me as a friend, feel free. I no longer accept FR without a short message (warning if there is no message, a fish somewhere will become frustrated. DO we really need more frustrated fish in the world?). If you do not have an avatar and your profile is blank I most likely will not accept. I ain't fraid of no ghost, but I need something to relate to."

    It is meant to bring a little humor into it, but at the same time gives the reason why.

    Speaking of frustrated fish:

    kid-running-from-fish.gif
  • Kaelakcr
    Kaelakcr Posts: 505 Member
    Options
    Hmm. Person who feels entitled to have every stranger accept their creepy, random, blank friend request.

    Has closed profile preventing strangers (oh -- and anyone they send a blank friend request to -- LOL!) from seeing anything about them.

    Okay.

    RiXBPiJ.gif

    tumblr_lmaha308r81qii6tmo1_500.gif

    "But I am entitled to your friendship, dammit!"
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options
    I only add girls who have developed an ED and are in that "sweet spot" where they aren't bulky like some of the girls who like to lift weight but also aren't so super thin that I fear they might break. Just the right amount of thin and daddy issues. Also they have to be between 18-19. I don't need old girls on my friends list.

    This is kind of ****ty to say, as someone who recovered from an eating disorder. I know MFP isn't all lovey-huggy, but have a little bit of respect for the people who go through something ****ing awful every day of their life. Jesus. I can take a good joke but that just wasn't funny.

    He's not even remotely serious. Relax.

Categories