Why did I try lifting...

dswolverine

i LOVE me some lifting. Start small- as small as necessary! You don't need to start out using heavy weights. Build your way up. You're also not alone in terms of being intimidated by the dudes in the weights section. Many people (men and women) are. They're more concerned with checking themselves out so just focus on you!

malavika413

Men make me very nervous in general, especially large scary-looking men. It sounds kind of silly, but I go to school at one of the most athletic campuses in the country. If you aren't tiny and fit, you're setting yourself up for ridicule at the co-ed gym.

The trainers are for the varsity athletes. I'm not going to embarrass myself.

This sounds like social anxiety. I have it (though not this bad) and I've known several people with it (you sound just like them). You may want to talk to a counsler about it. I know it sucks to be thrown out of your comfort zone and it's even worse if other people are around but you have to work through it.

I used to sit at my desk starving because I didn't want to go to the break room while there were people in there to heat up my lunch. So I would sit for 2 hours while everyone else finished their lunch shifts so I could go eat. It sounds rediculous, I know but it seemed better than having to go in there while there were 10 or so people in there.

Well one day I got tired of it and I marched in there, as hard as is was, to get my lunch out of the fridge and heat it up. You know what happened? Nothing. No one even noticed me in there. I keep pushing myself to do this every day even though I don't want to.

I do find that it's easier to do things around other people if I'm with someone I know. Do you have a friend that you could go to the co-ed gym with? The two of you can work together and it's a lot easier.

If you truely do have social anxiety, you need to find a way past it or you will end up a shut in. Go see a doctor and explain what you're feeling so you can get help.

I do have social anxiety, and I have worked past it in almost every respect...except fitness/nutrition. I used to never be able to go to office hours with professors or ask questions in class, or ask friends to socialize. I've gotten past all those. Working out is the only thing still in my way.

The time I went to the co-ed gym, I brought my boyfriend, who isn't fit either. It turned out to be extremely embarrassing.

Elaborate on bold?

I was so unfit that I couldn't handle a damn stationary bike for fifteen minutes. I still can't. He was trying to be nice about it, but I could tell he was baffled that I was so unfit. I now work out alone.

GothyFaery

Men make me very nervous in general, especially large scary-looking men. It sounds kind of silly, but I go to school at one of the most athletic campuses in the country. If you aren't tiny and fit, you're setting yourself up for ridicule at the co-ed gym.

The trainers are for the varsity athletes. I'm not going to embarrass myself.

This sounds like social anxiety. I have it (though not this bad) and I've known several people with it (you sound just like them). You may want to talk to a counsler about it. I know it sucks to be thrown out of your comfort zone and it's even worse if other people are around but you have to work through it.

I used to sit at my desk starving because I didn't want to go to the break room while there were people in there to heat up my lunch. So I would sit for 2 hours while everyone else finished their lunch shifts so I could go eat. It sounds rediculous, I know but it seemed better than having to go in there while there were 10 or so people in there.

Well one day I got tired of it and I marched in there, as hard as is was, to get my lunch out of the fridge and heat it up. You know what happened? Nothing. No one even noticed me in there. I keep pushing myself to do this every day even though I don't want to.

I do find that it's easier to do things around other people if I'm with someone I know. Do you have a friend that you could go to the co-ed gym with? The two of you can work together and it's a lot easier.

If you truely do have social anxiety, you need to find a way past it or you will end up a shut in. Go see a doctor and explain what you're feeling so you can get help.

I do have social anxiety, and I have worked past it in almost every respect...except fitness/nutrition. I used to never be able to go to office hours with professors or ask questions in class, or ask friends to socialize. I've gotten past all those. Working out is the only thing still in my way.

The time I went to the co-ed gym, I brought my boyfriend, who isn't fit either. It turned out to be extremely embarrassing.

You were able to overcome all your other problems, why would fitness be any different. You can overcome that too. Keep going back. You don't have to be "fit" to go to the gym. That's how you get fit.

Maybe your boyfriend isn't the best person to go with. Maybe you have a friend that's in a little better shape. You could also try going with headphones on. Don't look at anyone and turn your music up so you can't hear them. Again, this is a battle you've fought before on different fields so you know you can get through it.

JoyeII

I think first, and foremost you need to see a mental health professional. You have way more important issues going on that need some immediate treatment than not being able to lift 8 lb dumbbells.

yopeeps025

I think first, and foremost you need to see a mental health professional. You have way more important issues going on that need some immediate treatment than not being able to lift 8 lb dumbbells.

This.

WhitneyAnnabelle

You'll get stronger. Just be aware of your limitations, like loose joints. If you are hyperflexible at all in your shoulders, be careful with overhead movements. I dislocated my shoulder once from a strict shoulder press, and I now have four screws in there. Before that, I was doing Olympic lifting. You just never know. But yeah, that's my cautionary tale; take it with a grain of salt. Don't be scared to go outside of your comfort zone. It'll be worth it, I promise.

Edit: I didn't read all of the posts. I do agree with what people are saying about seeking help.

MscGray

in...to read later

explosivedonut

Men make me very nervous in general, especially large scary-looking men. It sounds kind of silly, but I go to school at one of the most athletic campuses in the country. If you aren't tiny and fit, you're setting yourself up for ridicule at the co-ed gym.

The trainers are for the varsity athletes. I'm not going to embarrass myself.

This sounds like social anxiety. I have it (though not this bad) and I've known several people with it (you sound just like them). You may want to talk to a counsler about it. I know it sucks to be thrown out of your comfort zone and it's even worse if other people are around but you have to work through it.

I used to sit at my desk starving because I didn't want to go to the break room while there were people in there to heat up my lunch. So I would sit for 2 hours while everyone else finished their lunch shifts so I could go eat. It sounds rediculous, I know but it seemed better than having to go in there while there were 10 or so people in there.

Well one day I got tired of it and I marched in there, as hard as is was, to get my lunch out of the fridge and heat it up. You know what happened? Nothing. No one even noticed me in there. I keep pushing myself to do this every day even though I don't want to.

I do find that it's easier to do things around other people if I'm with someone I know. Do you have a friend that you could go to the co-ed gym with? The two of you can work together and it's a lot easier.

If you truely do have social anxiety, you need to find a way past it or you will end up a shut in. Go see a doctor and explain what you're feeling so you can get help.

I do have social anxiety, and I have worked past it in almost every respect...except fitness/nutrition. I used to never be able to go to office hours with professors or ask questions in class, or ask friends to socialize. I've gotten past all those. Working out is the only thing still in my way.

The time I went to the co-ed gym, I brought my boyfriend, who isn't fit either. It turned out to be extremely embarrassing.

Elaborate on bold?

I was so unfit that I couldn't handle a damn stationary bike for fifteen minutes. I still can't. He was trying to be nice about it, but I could tell he was baffled that I was so unfit. I now work out alone.

Everyone starts somewhere. As a tall, relatively strong man, I can tell you that I don't judge others at the gym. If I saw you at the gym, I would leave you alone. Unless you were about to hurt yourself, but I would do that for anyone. Nobody else I talk with judges either. I have many friends at the gym: guys who are training to be bodybuilders, guys trainings to be powerlifters, women doing both of those, fit people, fat people, curl bros. I know a guy who works out with a girl, and he can't lift as much as she can. Nobody is judging anyone. Fitness is a personal journey, and everyone starts somewhere and goes on from there. People who spend time in the gym on a regular basis do one of two things: Keep their heads down and mind their own stuff, or talk to people and make friends with people they see regularly.

Everything here is in your head, and you gotta get out of your own head. You can't grow if you don't leave your comfort zone.

malavika413

Men make me very nervous in general, especially large scary-looking men. It sounds kind of silly, but I go to school at one of the most athletic campuses in the country. If you aren't tiny and fit, you're setting yourself up for ridicule at the co-ed gym.

The trainers are for the varsity athletes. I'm not going to embarrass myself.

This sounds like social anxiety. I have it (though not this bad) and I've known several people with it (you sound just like them). You may want to talk to a counsler about it. I know it sucks to be thrown out of your comfort zone and it's even worse if other people are around but you have to work through it.

I used to sit at my desk starving because I didn't want to go to the break room while there were people in there to heat up my lunch. So I would sit for 2 hours while everyone else finished their lunch shifts so I could go eat. It sounds rediculous, I know but it seemed better than having to go in there while there were 10 or so people in there.

Well one day I got tired of it and I marched in there, as hard as is was, to get my lunch out of the fridge and heat it up. You know what happened? Nothing. No one even noticed me in there. I keep pushing myself to do this every day even though I don't want to.

I do find that it's easier to do things around other people if I'm with someone I know. Do you have a friend that you could go to the co-ed gym with? The two of you can work together and it's a lot easier.

If you truely do have social anxiety, you need to find a way past it or you will end up a shut in. Go see a doctor and explain what you're feeling so you can get help.

I do have social anxiety, and I have worked past it in almost every respect...except fitness/nutrition. I used to never be able to go to office hours with professors or ask questions in class, or ask friends to socialize. I've gotten past all those. Working out is the only thing still in my way.

The time I went to the co-ed gym, I brought my boyfriend, who isn't fit either. It turned out to be extremely embarrassing.

Elaborate on bold?

I was so unfit that I couldn't handle a damn stationary bike for fifteen minutes. I still can't. He was trying to be nice about it, but I could tell he was baffled that I was so unfit. I now work out alone.

Everyone starts somewhere. As a tall, relatively strong man, I can tell you that I don't judge others at the gym. If I saw you at the gym, I would leave you alone. Unless you were about to hurt yourself, but I would do that for anyone. Nobody else I talk with judges either. I have many friends at the gym: guys who are training to be bodybuilders, guys trainings to be powerlifters, women doing both of those, fit people, fat people, curl bros. I know a guy who works out with a girl, and he can't lift as much as she can. Nobody is judging anyone. Fitness is a personal journey, and everyone starts somewhere and goes on from there. People who spend time in the gym on a regular basis do one of two things: Keep their heads down and mind their own stuff, or talk to people and make friends with people they see regularly.

Everything here is in your head, and you gotta get out of your own head. You can't grow if you don't leave your comfort zone.

Thank you. This made me feel better.

dbmata

Men make me very nervous in general, especially large scary-looking men. It sounds kind of silly, but I go to school at one of the most athletic campuses in the country. If you aren't tiny and fit, you're setting yourself up for ridicule at the co-ed gym.

The trainers are for the varsity athletes. I'm not going to embarrass myself.

This sounds like social anxiety. I have it (though not this bad) and I've known several people with it (you sound just like them). You may want to talk to a counsler about it. I know it sucks to be thrown out of your comfort zone and it's even worse if other people are around but you have to work through it.

I used to sit at my desk starving because I didn't want to go to the break room while there were people in there to heat up my lunch. So I would sit for 2 hours while everyone else finished their lunch shifts so I could go eat. It sounds rediculous, I know but it seemed better than having to go in there while there were 10 or so people in there.

Well one day I got tired of it and I marched in there, as hard as is was, to get my lunch out of the fridge and heat it up. You know what happened? Nothing. No one even noticed me in there. I keep pushing myself to do this every day even though I don't want to.

I do find that it's easier to do things around other people if I'm with someone I know. Do you have a friend that you could go to the co-ed gym with? The two of you can work together and it's a lot easier.

If you truely do have social anxiety, you need to find a way past it or you will end up a shut in. Go see a doctor and explain what you're feeling so you can get help.

I do have social anxiety, and I have worked past it in almost every respect...except fitness/nutrition. I used to never be able to go to office hours with professors or ask questions in class, or ask friends to socialize. I've gotten past all those. Working out is the only thing still in my way.

The time I went to the co-ed gym, I brought my boyfriend, who isn't fit either. It turned out to be extremely embarrassing.

Elaborate on bold?

I was so unfit that I couldn't handle a damn stationary bike for fifteen minutes. I still can't. He was trying to be nice about it, but I could tell he was baffled that I was so unfit. I now work out alone.

Go see a psychiatrist.

yopeeps025

Men make me very nervous in general, especially large scary-looking men. It sounds kind of silly, but I go to school at one of the most athletic campuses in the country. If you aren't tiny and fit, you're setting yourself up for ridicule at the co-ed gym.

The trainers are for the varsity athletes. I'm not going to embarrass myself.

This sounds like social anxiety. I have it (though not this bad) and I've known several people with it (you sound just like them). You may want to talk to a counsler about it. I know it sucks to be thrown out of your comfort zone and it's even worse if other people are around but you have to work through it.

I used to sit at my desk starving because I didn't want to go to the break room while there were people in there to heat up my lunch. So I would sit for 2 hours while everyone else finished their lunch shifts so I could go eat. It sounds rediculous, I know but it seemed better than having to go in there while there were 10 or so people in there.

Well one day I got tired of it and I marched in there, as hard as is was, to get my lunch out of the fridge and heat it up. You know what happened? Nothing. No one even noticed me in there. I keep pushing myself to do this every day even though I don't want to.

I do find that it's easier to do things around other people if I'm with someone I know. Do you have a friend that you could go to the co-ed gym with? The two of you can work together and it's a lot easier.

If you truely do have social anxiety, you need to find a way past it or you will end up a shut in. Go see a doctor and explain what you're feeling so you can get help.

I do have social anxiety, and I have worked past it in almost every respect...except fitness/nutrition. I used to never be able to go to office hours with professors or ask questions in class, or ask friends to socialize. I've gotten past all those. Working out is the only thing still in my way.

The time I went to the co-ed gym, I brought my boyfriend, who isn't fit either. It turned out to be extremely embarrassing.

Elaborate on bold?

I was so unfit that I couldn't handle a damn stationary bike for fifteen minutes. I still can't. He was trying to be nice about it, but I could tell he was baffled that I was so unfit. I now work out alone.

Go see a psychiatrist.

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

randomtai

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

PikaKnight

I think first, and foremost you need to see a mental health professional. You have way more important issues going on that need some immediate treatment than not being able to lift 8 lb dumbbells.

QFT

yopeeps025

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

Well they do different things. One has more therapy then the other. As of late both can prescribe medication.

wibutterflymagic

I just don't feel it's worth it. It's not going to make any difference. I'm not aiming to be a powerlifter, I just want to look less gross in my clothes.

SERIOUSLY?? With kind of attitude you aren't going to accomplish anything in life. I understand you are very young and you expect immediate results and you expect it to be easy right of the bat but you won't and it's not. That isn't how life works. You have to work at changing your body and if you don't think that's worth the time and effort then you will always be weak and unhappy. We all started some where with our fitness and you will have to work at it too.

Without knowing some basics of lifting you are going to be very confused and yes will probably quit but that's when you have to put some effort into researching what to do. You want to start off at lower weight and higher reps. For example, if you do a bicep curl with 8lbs and if you can only do 6-7 reps then you need to go lighter so you can do more like 12-15 reps. And your last couple reps should have you working to accomplish them but not completely to muscle fatigue(absolutely can't do more). Then when you can do the 12-15 easily increase your weight and drop your reps to 8-10. This is how you cycle and how you build up your muscles. You won't be doing every exercise at the same weight. Your legs are most likely stronger so you will be able to start with a higher weight then upper body exercises. And even different upper body exercises will be at different weights because of the different muscle groups you work. This is normal and just how it is. We all have areas that are stronger than others. I can do bicep curls at a much higher weight than I can tricep extensions....just the way it is but that can changed with consistent work.

You are a female---you won't become a bodybuilder without doing major food and lifestyle changes. We are not built that way. You will lose fat and become trimmer---which is what we all want right?

Most gyms offer some free initial sessions with one of their trainers----take huge advantage of that. Have them explain some of the machines to you and also see if they would give you an initial lifting routine. Don't let them blow you off by just showing you around the gym......get some good solid basics on proper form and what you can do to begin your lifting.

They only way you will make any changes is to bust your *kitten* and put in the work. It won't happen overnight and it won't always be easy. It also won't happen if you are eating junk. You have to fuel your body with good wholesome, nutritious food and cut out soda, chips, pizza etc. You can have those once in a while but not on a regular basis. Don't completely strip everything you like from your life otherwise you will go crazy and binge or quit completely. If your picture is you then from what I see you look like you're at a healthy weight already so I woudn't be too concerned about that. Work on getting stronger, losing the fat and build the muscle so you aren't "skinny fat".

CaffeinatedConfectionist

Go see a psychiatrist.

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

Both could be helpful, one for counseling and one for medication prescription if necessary. If the OP's anxiety is as bad as she describes, there are lots of extremely helpful antianxiety meds out there, as well as antidepressants and mood stabilizers if those are concerns, but good old therapy is also pretty damn helpful.

OP, if you would like some specific suggestions on bodyweight routines or lifting programs for people just getting started, there are some solid suggestions already in this thread, like Nerdfitness's beginning boyweight workout (http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2009/12/09/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/), or New Rules of Lifting for Woman.

I started on MFP about three years ago, and I did nothing but walk when I first started. Now I lift consistently and with heavy (for me) weights. I'm currently building back up to my previous weights after an injury, but I feel awesome. I can carry all of my groceries in one hand, I can toss about bags of cat litter or babies with one hand (well, not literally tossing babies, but you get the idea).

Lifting and fitness has done SO much for both my mental and physical health. I feel good about myself, I LIKE myself, when I feel strong. I have confidence, and I am a badass. It has made all the difference. Feel free to message me, if you like. No one can relate to your exact situation, and I didn't suffer from the same physical problems you do, but I also battle with anxiety, and to an extent depression. Lifting (and fitness in general) has helped both of those.

malavika413

I just don't feel it's worth it. It's not going to make any difference. I'm not aiming to be a powerlifter, I just want to look less gross in my clothes.

SERIOUSLY?? With kind of attitude you aren't going to accomplish anything in life. I understand you are very young and you expect immediate results and you expect it to be easy right of the bat but you won't and it's not. That isn't how life works. You have to work at changing your body and if you don't think that's worth the time and effort then you will always be weak and unhappy. We all started some where with our fitness and you will have to work at it too.

Without knowing some basics of lifting you are going to be very confused and yes will probably quit but that's when you have to put some effort into researching what to do. You want to start off at lower weight and higher reps. For example, if you do a bicep curl with 8lbs and if you can only do 6-7 reps then you need to go lighter so you can do more like 12-15 reps. And your last couple reps should have you working to accomplish them but not completely to muscle fatigue(absolutely can't do more). Then when you can do the 12-15 easily increase your weight and drop your reps to 8-10. This is how you cycle and how you build up your muscles. You won't be doing every exercise at the same weight. Your legs are most likely stronger so you will be able to start with a higher weight then upper body exercises. And even different upper body exercises will be at different weights because of the different muscle groups you work. This is normal and just how it is. We all have areas that are stronger than others. I can do bicep curls at a much higher weight than I can tricep extensions....just the way it is but that can changed with consistent work.

You are a female---you won't become a bodybuilder without doing major food and lifestyle changes. We are not built that way. You will lose fat and become trimmer---which is what we all want right?

Most gyms offer some free initial sessions with one of their trainers----take huge advantage of that. Have them explain some of the machines to you and also see if they would give you an initial lifting routine. Don't let them blow you off by just showing you around the gym......get some good solid basics on proper form and what you can do to begin your lifting.

They only way you will make any changes is to bust your *kitten* and put in the work. It won't happen overnight and it won't always be easy. It also won't happen if you are eating junk. You have to fuel your body with good wholesome, nutritious food and cut out soda, chips, pizza etc. You can have those once in a while but not on a regular basis. Don't completely strip everything you like from your life otherwise you will go crazy and binge or quit completely. If your picture is you then from what I see you look like you're at a healthy weight already so I woudn't be too concerned about that. Work on getting stronger, losing the fat and build the muscle so you aren't "skinny fat".

Thank you for your encouragement. I haven't joined a gym, so I can't see a trainer. But I did download The New Rules of Lifting for Women and am in the middle of it as of now. Also, regarding my appearance, you're likely looking at my little sister next to me. I'm not at a healthy weight.

CaffeinatedConfectionist

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

Well they do different things. One has more therapy then the other. As of late both can prescribe medication.

I don't believe this is true everywhere - only in a few states. None of the psychologists in my organization can prescribe meds. Plus we also have other counselors, like LCSWs, who cannot prescribe medications but who are badass mental health professionals.

yopeeps025

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

Well they do different things. One has more therapy then the other. As of late both can prescribe medication.

I don't believe this is true everywhere - only in a few states. None of the psychologists in my organization can prescribe meds. Plus we also have other counselors who are APNs or LCSWs who cannot prescribe medications but who are badass mental health professionals.

I remember reading about it when I decided on my career path of a lot of school to Psy. D.

fbmandy55

I just don't feel it's worth it. It's not going to make any difference. I'm not aiming to be a powerlifter, I just want to look less gross in my clothes.

You're 19 years old. Do you want to continue to be weak for the rest of your life? What happens when you have kids and you can't pick them up past the age of 2?

OP can't lift 16 pounds, she wouldn't be able to lift a 1 year old let alone 2 year old!