I'm failing my kids!

Francl27
Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
I know sugar isn't the enemy and all, but my kids eat WAY TOO MUCH of it. From sugar breakfast cereal to graham crackers and yogurts as snacks... it just doesn't stop. They barely eat lunch at school then want more snacks when we get home... complain when I tell them to have cheese sticks instead of sugary snacks... and now they are tall enough to reach cups so they help themselves with juice all day (I wouldn't even buy any but my husband likes it).

They eat well at dinner at least but then of course they ask for dessert. Their weight is fine, if anything they are both pretty skinny, but I don't want them to have horrible eating habits for later...

Advice? I'm on my way to the kitchen now to put all the sugary snacks out of their reach... They are 6.5, by the way.
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Replies

  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
    My advice is to quit letting your kids run your kitchen.
  • Owlie45
    Owlie45 Posts: 806 Member
    Don't buy it. They can't have what's not available.
  • AJ_G
    AJ_G Posts: 4,158 Member
    You're their parent. Tell them no and stick to it. Have them eat more protein, it'll fill them up
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Don't buy it. They can't have what's not available.

    Yeah obviously I'm going to stick to cereal bars from now on (they need snacks for school, and it can't be anything refrigerated).

    They didn't 'run the kitchen' until lately, but now they sneak in and help themselves. I can't be there watching all the time. It's so annoying! And the juice thing is recent... they had a box of juice a couple times a week before and that's it... but my husband started letting them have his juice... told him I'm not buying anymore either.

    They are pretty picky when it comes to snacks though, so it's really not easy :(
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    I have a 6 year old and 3.5 year old. This is going to sound unpleasant, but you are the parent. Don't buy the foods that you don't want the kids to eat. You have control over what comes into the house.

    Having said that, I'll tell you what works for my kids. Lots of fruit. I let the kids eat as many apples/bananas, also sliced carrot sticks and celery sticks as they want. I let them get these foods on their own. I also do not buy any of the flavored yogurt or oatmeal packets, cereals, etc. Instead, I buy plain greek yogurt and rolled or steel cut oats and add honey to it. That way I control how much extra sweetness is added. And honestly, the kids don't need very much honey to be satisfied. On the rare occasion that I buy juice, I water it down so much that it's barely even juice.

    I do let the kids have cupcakes, ice cream, etc. at birthday parties. I'm not denying my kids treats; I just don't bring sweets into the house very often...mainly, b/c I don't want the temptations around me.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    Snacks for school that don't require refrigeration:

    raisins (other dried fruits without sugar), peanut butter, pumpkin/sunflower seeds, bananas, apples

    You can also buy cooler packs to put in the lunch bags; I send my son to school with meat/hummus/dairy/veggies/eggs with cooler packs, and he has never had an issue
  • cheripugh1
    cheripugh1 Posts: 357 Member
    I know sugar isn't the enemy and all, but my kids eat WAY TOO MUCH of it. From sugar breakfast cereal to graham crackers and yogurts as snacks... it just doesn't stop. They barely eat lunch at school then want more snacks when we get home... complain when I tell them to have cheese sticks instead of sugary snacks... and now they are tall enough to reach cups so they help themselves with juice all day (I wouldn't even buy any but my husband likes it).

    They eat well at dinner at least but then of course they ask for dessert. Their weight is fine, if anything they are both pretty skinny, but I don't want them to have horrible eating habits for later...

    Advice? I'm on my way to the kitchen now to put all the sugary snacks out of their reach... They are 6.5, by the way.

    Keep in mind you are the mom... so when you say no it means no.

    Now as for the juice some for breakfast or a snack is fine, but tell them 1 glass and actually instead of glass start buying it in individual serving sizes (at least until it becomes a habit) and tell them you can have ONE and only ONE each day.

    For snacks, maybe apple snacks they make those in serving packs too I buy them myself for my lunches and they work and they are healthy. Yogurt isn't bad for you or them but again a limit of one a day.

    Any other treats start with healthy snacks that look unhealthy, ice cream comes to mind, get the healthier one, surprise it taste the same! Bake cookies with less fat, they have recipes of healthier choices all over the web just google it. Trust me on this they will not starve, if they pitch a fit and won't eat what you offer, then oh well guess they will go without, eventually they will give it a chance.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Yeah I started buying them as a once in a while thing but apparently my kids are worse than me when it comes to moderation...

    They won''t eat plain yogurt and the only veggies they'd eat is cucumber. They like fruit occasionally but typically groan at it too (although they eat the ones in their lunch box typically). They don't like oatmeal. They'll eat eggs once in a while, but it wouldn't be an every day thing for sure. Heck I wouldn't even know what to give them for breakfast if I banned the sugary cereal!
  • sistrsprkl
    sistrsprkl Posts: 1,010 Member
    My advice is to quit letting your kids run your kitchen.

    This... and I find it helpful to make my kids fruit and veggie smoothies most days. I'll put kale, spinach, chard, carrots, and/or peas in there along with fruit, plain yogurt and sometimes a bit of a natural sweetener and they'll guzzle them right down.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Snacks for school that don't require refrigeration:

    raisins (other dried fruits without sugar), peanut butter, pumpkin/sunflower seeds, bananas, apples

    You can also buy cooler packs to put in the lunch bags; I send my son to school with meat/hummus/dairy/veggies/eggs with cooler packs, and he has never had an issue

    Oh lunch is fine, they just don't want perishable snacks for the afternoon. I'll start putting more apples in there though... it needs to be something they can eat easily and doesn't require a spoon. They don't like raisins either...

    Even lunch, I'll pack them a ham sandwich and they won't eat it :sad:
  • Don't buy it. They can't have what's not available.

    This.

    Or.
    My advice is to quit letting your kids run your kitchen.

    My kids would eat nothing but sugar if I let them, so I do a couple of different things--I stock tons of snacks in the house that are healthy: Laughing Cow cheese wedges (or the store brand,) pretzel chips, almonds, fresh fruit, baby carrots, edamame, etc. and they know that is their options. Also, if they beg for crap, I DON'T.LET.THEM.EAT.IT.

    Finally, at dinner, I choose what we eat (with input from the family) but they choose how much. We eat dessert a couple of times a week--and it might be an ice cream sandwich, a lollipop, or a cupcake, depending on what we have in the house. If they don't eat their entire dinner, and it's a dessert night, they don't get dessert...and if they don't eat their entire dinner, we don't allow pre-bed snacking. It's one thing to claim hunger before bedtime if they ate a full meal at dinnertime, but something different to do so when they choose to eat next to nothing.

    Don't think you're failing your kids--it's easy to fall into the "convenience" trap, but you need to remember that A.) you are the parent, quit allowing your kids to dictate what's in the house and B.) so what if they don't eat a decent lunch and then they complain that there's "nothing to eat." Chances are, that unless they have a medical condition that requires them to eat certain things or to eat at a certain time, going without lunch and then without snacks prior to dinner won't hurt them.
  • Kairalie
    Kairalie Posts: 90 Member
    My daughter is 5, and we talk about food all the time. When we go to the store (yes I brave the grocery store WITH my child) we talk about healthy foods and what we should and can eat and about things that arent that good but she can have as a snack for school only or a treat at home etc. My daughter actually LOVES kale and mushrooms and eggs and wont let me leave the store without them and that is an argument I am okay with. She gets excited when I tell her its time to make dinner because I let her help. Involve your kids more, the more they see it, the more you all talk about it, incorporate it daily the more your kids will stop reaching for chips and start reaching for carrots :)
  • sue_stef
    sue_stef Posts: 194 Member
    mom of 5 here to say simply
    the kids will not starve if they do not get the snacks they like
    the choice they have is the snack you offer
    or nothing
    stick to it
    yes they will whine
    yes they will complain
    tell them the sugary snacks are treats you get them on special occasions they are not for everyday
    there is a limit to the snacks as well if they have graham crackers have two then done
    the lowest sugar yogurt is Dannon light and fit
    I also changed the Jelly we eat we get Polaner all fruit
    say no now and remember you are not their friend you are mom
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
    Don't buy it. They can't have what's not available.

    Yeah obviously I'm going to stick to cereal bars from now on (they need snacks for school, and it can't be anything refrigerated).

    They didn't 'run the kitchen' until lately, but now they sneak in and help themselves. I can't be there watching all the time. It's so annoying! And the juice thing is recent... they had a box of juice a couple times a week before and that's it... but my husband started letting them have his juice... told him I'm not buying anymore either.

    They are pretty picky when it comes to snacks though, so it's really not easy :(

    It is easy. I was always taught you eat what's provided, or you don't eat.
  • mangogirl272727
    mangogirl272727 Posts: 95 Member
    Yeah I started buying them as a once in a while thing but apparently my kids are worse than me when it comes to moderation...

    They won''t eat plain yogurt and the only veggies they'd eat is cucumber. They like fruit occasionally but typically groan at it too (although they eat the ones in their lunch box typically). They don't like oatmeal. They'll eat eggs once in a while, but it wouldn't be an every day thing for sure. Heck I wouldn't even know what to give them for breakfast if I banned the sugary cereal!

    Toast maybe? Never met a kid who didn't like toast. Toast with peanut butter and honey/banana/jam is a good option. With a glass of milk that's a pretty complete breakfast (carbs, fat, protein). I worked as a childcare taker for several years and all my kids really loved fruit smoothies too (banana, milk, some yogurt, and some berries/mango/pineapple). Maybe try beef jerky for school snacks. Or pistachio nuts which are kinda fun for kids to eat. Kids love cuties (those little clementines). They also love pickles! Graham crackers aren't actually that high in sugar. I sympathize- It can be difficult to ensure the kiddos are eating a healthy, balanced diet without being the food police and screwing up their relationship with food.
  • Not buying more juice is a good idea. Having it occassionally is probably fine but the acidity from the citrus juices is really hard on their teeth if they are drinking it all day. Some moms I know still buy juice for their kids but water it down - like a ratio of 50/50.

    Regarding lunches - have you considered trying a bento box style lunch? Maybe if they are more "fun", it would increase the rate of consumption.
  • FredDoyle
    FredDoyle Posts: 2,273 Member
    Put your foot down. They won't leave. They might even thank you in a few years. Kids are for the long run.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Not buying more juice is a good idea. Having it occassionally is probably fine but the acidity from the citrus juices is really hard on their teeth if they are drinking it all day. Some moms I know still buy juice for their kids but water it down - like a ratio of 50/50.

    Regarding lunches - have you considered trying a bento box style lunch? Maybe if they are more "fun", it would increase the rate of consumption.

    It's what they have pretty much, it has 3 compartments.

    I tried nuts, they don't really like them.. they don't like pickles and cuties. It's actually funny because they eat really well at dinner, but if you ask them to eat those foods any other time, they will refuse.

    But I'll keep trying I guess...
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    As a nice lady told me yesterday, her mom said when they were growing up, "You can eat it, or you can sit beside it." If they don't eat what you give them, they don't eat.

    Be prepared for whining and tantrums to increase before they accept the new way. This is called an "extinction burst" in dog training -- the bad behavior increases before it goes away.

    If they don't eat the sandwiches you provide them for lunch, what do they eat? Do they buy junk with their pocket money?
  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
    Don't buy it. They can't have what's not available.

    Yeah obviously I'm going to stick to cereal bars from now on (they need snacks for school, and it can't be anything refrigerated).

    They didn't 'run the kitchen' until lately, but now they sneak in and help themselves. I can't be there watching all the time. It's so annoying! And the juice thing is recent... they had a box of juice a couple times a week before and that's it... but my husband started letting them have his juice... told him I'm not buying anymore either.

    They are pretty picky when it comes to snacks though, so it's really not easy :(

    It is easy. I was always taught you eat what's provided, or you don't eat.

    I was raised the same. Eat what is provided or go hungry. Only buy what you want them to have, they will adapt.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    My kids are 5, 3 and 4 months. Obviously the baby doesn't eat yet, but the big two eat what we have. If we don't have it, tough.

    I don't ever buy juice, they just drink water or milk, and occasionally I'll make them a hot chocolate with cocoa and milk. I buy weetabix for this breakfast, or they have egg, or toast, or porridge. My eldest goes to school and has a piece of fruit at break time, and a school lunch. He usually goes for jacket potato with tuna. For dinner they eat whatever we have...stir fry, chicken/fish and veg.. They sometimes have low fat natural yogurt after. My 3 year old goes to nursery 3 days a week and eats there. At home she'll have apple and peanut butter as a snack and tuna sandwich for lunch.

    They do have treats sometimes, like a small ice cream on the seafront, or a packet of hula hoops, but I prefer to make something myself, so I might make a cake or cookies at the weekend, so that's my treat day too.

    In my son's class last year they talked about healthy eating, and now both of them constantly ask me what's healthy and what's not, and after watching 'Cloudy with a chance of meatballs' they talk about cheeseburgers making people fat and big lol.

    I've never taken them anywhere like McDonald's.

    We're the adults, the parents, we're in charge, and I want my children to know about eating healthily, but also that they can have treats in moderation.

    P.S they also love smoothies with banana, mango, blueberries etc. Great way to get their fruit in.
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
    Not buying more juice is a good idea. Having it occassionally is probably fine but the acidity from the citrus juices is really hard on their teeth if they are drinking it all day. Some moms I know still buy juice for their kids but water it down - like a ratio of 50/50.

    Regarding lunches - have you considered trying a bento box style lunch? Maybe if they are more "fun", it would increase the rate of consumption.

    It's what they have pretty much, it has 3 compartments.

    I tried nuts, they don't really like them.. they don't like pickles and cuties. It's actually funny because they eat really well at dinner, but if you ask them to eat those foods any other time, they will refuse.

    But I'll keep trying I guess...


    Keep making excuses...that's working well.
  • Krikit34
    Krikit34 Posts: 125 Member
    Are they really picky, or are they used to whining until they get what they want? Tastes can change. I used to hate pretty much all veggies and had to force myself to eat them. Now, I enjoy most of them. I was also a sugar addict - pop and anything super sugary. Now pop (soda) and many store-bought sugary treats - like cupcakes - are way to sweet to me. They will whine for awhile, but they can get used to snacks they "don't like".

    As for yogurt - I make mine with a large container of plain fat-free yogurt and mix in a package of fat-free, sugar-free cheesecake pudding mix. You can use other flavors as well.

    You can also buy almonds that are coated with a little vanilla or cocoa that adds just a little sweetness.

    Breakfast - it takes me no time to make an egg and throw it on an english muffin every morning with a slice of cheese. You can even cook the egg in a coffee mug in the microwave in 1 minute. Other breakfast options - a bagel, english muffin with pb, or start with LESS sugary cereals to start backing off.

    This is not about your kids choices...it's about yours.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    My kids are 7 and 9, and pretty much if they won't eat it then they can go hungry. The extent of "sugary" food in this house is granola bars. Their school lunch policy forbids "junk" food, and they have a gram limit on sugars. Both my girls are now fairly well aware of things that are excessively sugar laden - like yogurt cups, and "fruit juice" drinks. My eldest picked one up today at Wal-Mart and promptly exclaimed "It has more sugar than a can of soda!"

    My 7 year old wanted just a cheese sandwich for lunch. She was told no in no uncertain terms. She had to add lettuce and turkey slices. She ate it with no further complaints. Both of them wanted at the granola bars, and again we told them no. They were directed towards the fruit and a bowl of baby carrots. They ate all the remaining carrots in the bowl.

    Not to be totally harsh and blunt, but you're the parent ... act like it. Don't buy it, and if they give you lip or sneak then deal with it an appropriate manner. You admit they have no willpower (they're kids, being impulsive is pretty normal), and yet you bring things into the home that you know are doing them a disservice. That's a dangerous path, and I think you're aware of that.
  • FredDoyle
    FredDoyle Posts: 2,273 Member
    They'll eat if they're hungry and sleep if they're tired. :)
  • corgicake
    corgicake Posts: 846 Member
    Their weight is fine, if anything they are both pretty skinny, but I don't want them to have horrible eating habits for later...
    ...
    They are 6.5, by the way.
    What they're doing is working for a reason - they're probably active. Encourage them to stay active and get them to try some of the fruits and veggies that usually don't make it into their coloring books. There is no such thing as a universal set of "adult" eating habits and for all anyone knows right now what they do now might not be far off from what they need then.
  • Camo_xxx
    Camo_xxx Posts: 1,082 Member
    I like the idea of you are not just raising kids but traning adults.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member

    If they don't eat the sandwiches you provide them for lunch, what do they eat? Do they buy junk with their pocket money?

    Just the fruit and the cookie I sometimes give them.

    Keep making excuses...that's working well.

    Yeah clearly I'm making excuses for what my kids won't eat, because it's my fault they don't like some things.
    Are they really picky, or are they used to whining until they get what they want? Tastes can change. I used to hate pretty much all veggies and had to force myself to eat them. Now, I enjoy most of them. I was also a sugar addict - pop and anything super sugary. Now pop (soda) and many store-bought sugary treats - like cupcakes - are way to sweet to me. They will whine for awhile, but they can get used to snacks they "don't like".

    As for yogurt - I make mine with a large container of plain fat-free yogurt and mix in a package of fat-free, sugar-free cheesecake pudding mix. You can use other flavors as well.

    You can also buy almonds that are coated with a little vanilla or cocoa that adds just a little sweetness.

    Breakfast - it takes me no time to make an egg and throw it on an english muffin every morning with a slice of cheese. You can even cook the egg in a coffee mug in the microwave in 1 minute. Other breakfast options - a bagel, english muffin with pb, or start with LESS sugary cereals to start backing off.

    This is not about your kids choices...it's about yours.

    Yeah but what good does it do if they go to school hungry because they won't eat? My son is almost underweight already and only giving him things that I know he won't eat is not going to make much good. They don't like PB but they might eat it with cream cheese, so I'll try that. Or maybe I'll start with low sugar cereal.

    For the yogurt, I'm not really comfortable giving my kids artificial sweeteners when it's not really needed (plus honestly I find the sugar free pudding mixes awful).

    They will eat veggies at dinner, I guess I'll make a list of what's acceptable as snacks and see what they'll eat from there when they come back from school... thanks for the ideas.
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member

    Yeah clearly I'm making excuses for what my kids won't eat, because it's my fault they don't like some things.

    Every piece of advice you have been given, you have had an excuse for why it won't work.

    What do YOU want to hear???

    You're letting them run the kitchen, and apparently your household.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member

    Yeah clearly I'm making excuses for what my kids won't eat, because it's my fault they don't like some things.

    Every piece of advice you have been given, you have had an excuse for why it won't work.

    What do YOU want to hear???

    You're letting them run the kitchen, and apparently your household.

    Not every one of them. I just said there are some things they won't eat. They're kids. They're picky. If it was that easy, and they ate everything, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place...

    But I also said that there are things they WILL eat, so I appreciate all the suggestions, I'm making a list of what's doable for MY kids.

    My 7 year old wanted just a cheese sandwich for lunch. She was told no in no uncertain terms. She had to add lettuce and turkey slices. She ate it with no further complaints.

    That's a perfect example of something that would stay totally untouched in the lunch box - and I'm talking about the plain cheese sandwich. Forget the lettuce and turkey :laugh:

    You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink... but I guess my kids will have to be hungry for a while.