I'm failing my kids!
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Nope not a first world problem. It has to do with my son being on the autism spectrum, he struggles with the smells and textures of most foods.
He has no nutritional deficiencies, and he has had a full 2 week evaluation of his diet conducted by his pediatrician and allergist.
We sent him to a preschool where his ONLY educational goal for the year was to expose him to new foods.
He would literally go hungry than eat unfamiliar food. And he has done this many times.
There are many different kinds of families out there, and I am not a bad mother. I will always keep trying to get him to eat healthful food, but ultimately, he is well loved, and well fed.
(The only reason I posted his diet is to show the OP that a child can thrive on a limited array of food. )0 -
I would be really careful with insinuating bad parenting when there is a medical condition involved that you know nothing about. Let's keep this thread focused on the OPs issue so this thread doesn't dissolve into the usual MFP sh**storm
That's a new one. I'm sure it's a completely first world problem. (And I HATE that phrase)I have spent thousands on food my son (with selective eating disorder) won't eat.
I would imagine.This is not socially acceptable, and I get a lot of flack.
A dietary choice that removes much of an apples only nutritional value. Aside from fiber, and apple is almost void of any nutrition. It's basically just candy that grows on a tree.he usually picks a peeled apple.
I don't think the OP is looking for advice about WHAT to feed her kid, but hint at tips on how to get her kids to eat what she KNOWS they should eat.
And that comes down to simply being smarter and more patient/headstrong than a child. The tough part is that children have very little else to do in life. They are more than willing to make your life hell if it means they will ultimately get what they want.
Just be smarter, more patient.0 -
Nope not a first world problem. It has to do with my son being on the autism spectrum, he struggles with the smells and textures of most foods.
He has no nutritional deficiencies, and he has had a full 2 week evaluation of his diet conducted by his pediatrician and allergist.
We sent him to a preschool where his ONLY educational goal for the year was to expose him to new foods.
He would literally go hungry than eat unfamiliar food. And he has done this many times.
There are many different kinds of families out there, and I am not a bad mother. I will always keep trying to get him to eat healthful food, but ultimately, he is well loved, and well fed.
(The only reason I posted his diet is to show the OP that a child can thrive on a limited array of food. )
I apologize for the the assumptions I made. It didn't occur to me that autism might be in play. I'm not ignorant of the challenges you deal with. It just didn't occur to me at the moment. I sure as heck didn't mean to imply you are a bad mother, though I see how it could be inferred. I apologize for that as well.
HOWEVER.... I stand my apple remark. They're over rated, and have less nutrition than a Snickers. Having said that I don't think an apple a day is "bad". C'mon, let me have my apple remark. I beggin' here.
Honestly, I am sorry.
:flowerforyou:0 -
forgiven and forgotten northbanu.
Honestly it isnt normal, and if he was a stereotypical picky eater I'd be more than willing to agree with ya.
And as for apples, well, at least he eats one thing that wasnt made in a factory.
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Good info. We have similar parenting styles. And I too pick apples over Snickers. :laugh:If you are on a tight budget, as I am, the food thing can be extra tough. I have spent thousands on food my son (with selective eating disorder) won't eat.
I do not do that anymore. I cook our normal foods, offer him some, and prepare him a plate of food he feels safe eating.
This is not socially acceptable, and I get a lot of flack. But it is more important (to me)that he eats with us as a family, and that our mealtimes aren't any more stressful than they have to be.
Every so often he does try something new, and rarely, he adds one to his repertoire.
I do have my ground rules though, and it sounds like you could try setting some yourself. Juice is a once a day thing here, and dessert/candy is a once a day thing too. You must eat a plant food with your meals, he usually picks a peeled apple.
The iron fist thing does not work with him, so we use a cooperation approach. It helps that my husband is on the same page with all this!
As for flack, you probably feel the same as I do, but ignore it. Every parent has their own priorities, challenges and values and your choices are none of their business. People who assume their own choices can or should apply to all parents are fooling themselves.0 -
They are pretty picky when it comes to snacks though, so it's really not easy
It's amazing how much less picky they'll be when their choices aren't 6 different types of sugary snacks.
ETA: And I'm speaking from experience, since I looooove sugar and chips and don't care much for healthy food. As soon as my kitchen was no longer full of it I started eating other things. I still have some junk, but get bored if that's all I eat since I don't have a huge variety available.0 -
My cousin (now 21) is also on the spectrum, and for years his diet was: vanilla ice cream, milk, ranch dressing,white bread,french fries, banana baby food, and bologna. IT SUCKS!
His mom (my aunt) just kept working on it, going to doctors, taking him to feeding classes.... and eventually his array of foods broadened. He still doesnt eat like "normal" people, but he can go out to a restaurant without too much trouble.
My nephew (age 8) is also on the spectrum, and his diet looked like that too, minus the meat.
I just hate to see caring moms who feel like crap because their kids eat only a handful of foods. As long as you are trying, your not failing in my book.0 -
Put your foot down as a parent. If they refuse to eat the healthier things you buy, then they don't eat. Even a 5 year old is not going to starve out of stubbornness. Eventually, when they see you are not going to give in to their whining, they will eat what is there.0
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If your kids don't like eating anything other than cereal for breakfast only buy ones that are low in sugar. It's still not the best but it is better than complete. Shredded wheat is a good choice it's very similar to mini wheats (I loved it as a kid) as cherrios the plain kind has minimal sugar and it isn't too different from most breakfast cereals. All bran flakes with raisins or other dried fruit added.
As for snacks I would advise against having packaged snack in your house as much as possible though it is possible to have a healthy granola bar (like kind bars or Larabars) once they aere introduced kids except that packaged kind of thing for a snack instead of fruits or veggies. It you really have hard time with fruit or veggies serve them with a dip of some kind. Crackers with cheese nuts are good options.
Oh juice limit it to one cup a day my boyfriend loves OJ (probably more than he loves me) so what he does to save is waist line and and wallet is he drinks have OJ and half water twice a day which adds up to about one cup. This isn't perfect but it's better than 3 cups like he used to drink.0 -
Thr rule in my house is that fruits and veggies are always free reign- they can eat as much and whenever they'd like. Cheese and yogurt they have to ask for but we pretty much always say yes. Crackers are road trip or sbedtime snacks only. We simply don't keep sweets in the house. If they want those sweets try making healthy versions. Weelicious has some low sugar variations of common goodies!0
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What type of yogurt are you buying? I buy those Chobani kids tubes...they are higher in protein and lower in sugar than other brands I've seen (and no artificial sweetener).
I tried Greek yogurt and it stayed in the fridge until it went bad. But I haven't tried the tubes - will try that next!I had another thought.
Make your own granola, granola bars. There are plenty of great recipes online that don't require any actual sugar. And you can load them with nuts, seeds, dried fruit, coconut flakes...
My kids also love vegan muffins (my daughter has an egg allergy). I use less than half of the amount of sugar that a recipe calls for. Again, this way I have some measure of control about how much sugar the kids are getting. My kids like banana and pumpkin muffins. You can also get muffins tins that make very small muffins.
Edited to add: I do bribe my kids sometimes at dinner to take a few more bites of veggies...I bribe them with frozen blueberries. That's my go-to dessert.
Fantastic idea but they don't eat any of that stuff. They don't even eat granola bars, even packaged ones. Heck they'd rather eat fruit and veggies. They don't eat any of the stuff I make, except my daughter once in a while
The sugary cereal - it's a once in a while thing. As I said, I got those because they were cheap and it was a special thing, and I won't buy them again (it has 9g of sugar a serving... could be worse).
Dessert is typically ice cream (the lower fat kind, Edy's or Breyer) or a popsicle (the fruit ones, not the popsicle brand). They don't eat candy except at Halloween and Easter. We pretty much never have cake, pie or cupcakes. Typically the cookies they eat are animal crackers or graham crackers... so it could be worse I guess. But I still want them to like 'real' food.
Seriously?
The children have ice cream for Edy's or Breyer's ice cream some nights?
Of course they are not interested in your food ideas during the day.
Leave them alone about daytime food.
They get their food at dinner.0 -
Maybe they have become addicted not to sugar but HFCS? Check the labels of what sugary stuff you're buying, maybe the incessant hunger for sweet is from that? (I read some while back that it could have something to do with it. Hubby and I have cut it from our diet 99.99% and it is working wonderfully! I say 99.99 because I'm possibly eating some inadvertently, but if I am, it's not a huge amount as to make a difference in my diet/hunger)0
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I had a super picky eater when she was really young, and she was very very under weight (under the the 1st percentile). The paediatrician would tell us to feed her anything we could to get her calories including ice cream, cream, chicken fat , junky foods, etc. I didn't want to do that as I always have been overweight, and had food issues.
Instead, we just kept at it and always gave high calorie dense foods that were extremely healthy. It was challenging before but well worth it. Now that my two are 5 & 8, they make better food choices than I do.
Here are random things I have done with my kids to try and get them to eat healthier.
To get them to have more calorie, the paediatric dietician said no drinks until AFTER their meals. Hard to do at lunch but you could do this at breakfast, and dinner too.
We only offer water and milk for most of the meals, for a treat we do smoothies made with fruit, some spinach, Greek yogurt, a little vanilla, a splash of juice, and some chia seed, maybe some avocado.
I also use the same smoothie mix to make Popsicles. They kids think it is awesome that they got Popsicles for breakfast.
The kids get juice maybe once a month, usually if they are out at someone else's place, I do buy it occasionally, and they will take it if they have been eating balanced food throughout the day.
The. kids actually hate Greek yogurt, but I put in it everything I can. I use it for sour cream, I replace ranch dressing with Greek yogurt, thinned out with a bit of milk and herbs, and they use it as dressing or dip.
We make our own ice cream using Greek yogurt, flavoured with my own homemade fruit syrup, and vanilla thrown in a ice cream maker.
I make a lot of my our sugary things such as the jam and syrup. They consist of fresh or frozen fruit, usually berries, boiled for a long time so it is thick, then add a little vanilla, squeeze of lemon, and a little sugar or honey, (not much at all).
Have the kids help in the kitchen, and educate them about food. We talk about all the chemicals and things that aren't good for your body that go on to processed food. We often do taste tests canned items vs, homemade. The trick is get the worst tasting canned item brand, and have your kids help with the home made and rave about your creation. My kids actually ask for home made versions of most things.
We talk about healthy choices and good food. Let them help make some of the choices between two healthy foods. We do games and adventures with food. We go to different markets and ethic markets and find fruits and veggies we don't often eat, then we research how to cook them or eat them. We try it together. It is important to do the research I have had a few surprises that we still laugh about.
Make cool foods with the kids based on what they are interested in. My oldest went through a monster high / gross scary monster theme. So we started buying blood oranges, dragon fruit, stuck grapes in canned lychees to make them look like eyeballs. They were super easy things to do, but did she ever gross out her little classmates, which she thought was AWESOME, the boys were even afraid.
It does seem like a lot of work, so get them in the kitchen helping you, mine have been helping since 3. Give them cookie cutters to cut out their favourite cheese and fruit. In my kitchen, the little ones have goals they work towards. At three it was cutting foods like green onions with a scissors. Then it was cutting with a little knife one bean at a time, then two bean, then three, then different veggies. Then it is the veggie peeler on straight vegetable, then round veggies. We have all these 'lessons' they get to learn. Egg cracking, toast making, bread dipping, etc. they more they help the more the like eating the foods.
Make fun little bento boxes, it doesn't have to be sandwiches, I think I pack less than one sandwich a month for school. I get those little cupcake wrappers, and use them to section their snacks.
A week of eating poorly, is not going to hurt them, just have the conversations with them on their choices. I went through a week of eating ice cream everyday maybe even twice a day. It was hot, it was on sale, and my freezer was full. We made sundaes every night after dinner, but I had them make strawberry sauce, and cut up pineapple and bananas, and they lived every night. We are out of that phase.
Put some limits on the junkies stuff, and really try to highlight the better stuff. Good luck0 -
Snacks for school are easier than you think. I have to pack a snack for my 7 year old every day for school. Bananas. Peel an orange and put in a snack ziploc and give them an individually wrapped string cheese. Both can stay out of the fridge. Cut up apples dipped in white soda stay white. Grapes don't need to be refrigerated. My son loves the Skinny Pop popcorn in individual bags.
Make eggs for breakfast 2-3 times per week. I buy whole grain frozen waffles and use 100% pure maple syrup. Still sugar I know but at least it isn't high fructose corn syrup. I let them have cereal 1-2 x per week. Don't give them choices, and yes they will complain. My kids are 4 and 7 and they complain pretty regularly. I just tell them, we make healthy choices most of the time and this is my job as their mom, to make sure they grow up healthy. Trust me they won't starve themselves. They may refuse to eat dinner one night (which is fine with me), but you can bet they will eat whatever I give them for breakfast the next day.
We have "Dessert Friday" at our house now, because they were always wanting something after dinner. Now dessert is only on Fridays unless we are going to a party for the weekend or some special occasion.
Don't buy the crap. Then they won't eat it. Tell your husband juice isn't good for him either. Man.. .. it is hard to be the mom.0 -
Yeah I started buying them as a once in a while thing but apparently my kids are worse than me when it comes to moderation...
They won''t eat plain yogurt and the only veggies they'd eat is cucumber. They like fruit occasionally but typically groan at it too (although they eat the ones in their lunch box typically). They don't like oatmeal. They'll eat eggs once in a while, but it wouldn't be an every day thing for sure. Heck I wouldn't even know what to give them for breakfast if I banned the sugary cereal!
Wouldn't know what to give them for breakfast if sugary cereal was banned???
soft boiled egg and toast.
bagel or mini-bagels and cream cheese
fresh bun and sliced ham or meats
cheerios
toast with peanut butter and banana
toast with almond butter
apple sauce
banana and milk or cream
mashed potatoes and gravy
mashed potatoes with a fried egg on top
Bacon, back bacon, on toast
brown beans
left over pasta or dinner left overs
pancakes with fresh fruit compote
fresh oranges
fresh apples
fresh strawberries or blueberries
Buckwheat
Potato Latke w sour cream and apple sauce
any and all combos of some of the foods listed above. Put a variety of healthy foods on their plates and request that they "try them". Don't force kids to eat things they don't like but taste is "an adventure" and they might make a "new discovery"... like explorers do. So, trying foods, even ones that they previously did not like, might lead to a wonderful "taste discovery". When your child makes a new discovery - make a big deal of this, so that they are eager to make a new discovery of a food that is new and they like, or a food that they previously did not like and now do. You can even make a pretty note and pin it on the fridge.... eg "Jimmy made a new taste discovery today! He likes.... x now and he didn't like it before."
The reason that your kids do not like anything but sugary cereal is because of your lack of creativity in presenting many wonderful and tasty things to them, and "re-presenting" foods often enough and getting them to try them. Own it! Fix it!
Try googling what other people eat at breakfast in different places in the world - try a Dutch breakfast, or a German one, or French... maybe you will make a new taste discovery, too. !
And +1 to RMZ2014's post. Real food - it's just not as hard as you think it is. 0 -
Now, if only most of the adults can follow the advice they're dishing for your kids (don't buy it, don't eat it; only make fruit and veggies available, etc)....0
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Haha great point!Now, if only most of the adults can follow the advice they're dishing for your kids (don't buy it, don't eat it; only make fruit and veggies available, etc)....0 -
Here's a link that might be of help to you.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/childrens-health/in-depth/childrens-health/art-20044948?pg=1
In the household that I grew up in, dessert was not served and my Mother did not bake. Occasionally, ice cream was served, after supper, in the evening, from time to time.
Proper, family meal times were observed, with no "TV diners".
Simple rules of thumb, like the ones that the Mayo Clinic suggest, are all you really need. And if you put a food on a child's plate that they don't like - do it again tomorrow. Don't allow the list to keep getting smaller and smaller. Kids are actually pretty easy - simple food, plain and unadorned, or with a tiny bit of ketchup or something like that on the plate.
or look up some fancy, fun ideas for Saturdays or when kids can help. Name things in fun ways, too.
http://www.marthastewart.com/853438/kids-favorite-sandwich-recipes/@center/856055/lunch-recipes0 -
OP, I would try just cutting down or cutting out one thing at a time, then re-evaluating. Get DH onboard.
My twins are 2 in December, and I am trying my *ss off to set up good habits - but some days they just don't want to eat what's on offer, and as a mother sometimes it is hard to see them not eating. Some days they eat absolute rubbish, and other days they eat really well. I am hoping it all evens out... We are on a low income so I hate seeing food wasted or spoiled.
I try and bake healthy snack options - but like you, I am very bad with enjoying my own cooking and my DH loves anything I bake (EAT ALL THE CAKE/COOKIES/SLICES!!). So I am getting better at self control, but it takes work. I make my own yoghurt when I remember, and add honey and vanilla extract.
I know it's a battle and you have to pick the ones you have energy for. Just keeping trying to improve, and I hope you find a happy middle ground.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Now, if only most of the adults can follow the advice they're dishing for your kids (don't buy it, don't eat it; only make fruit and veggies available, etc)....
Yes! And nobody seems to remember what kind of stinking tantrum *they* might have thrown when they were given options they didn't like when they were little.0
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