MFP has really changed

SonicDeathMonkey80

2

SonicDeathMonkey80

1

SonicDeathMonkey80

Are we there yet?

PRMinx

Almost...

FitForL1fe

Almost...

in_the_stars

Old black water, keep on rollin'
Mississippi moon, won't you keep on shinin' on me...

Yeah, keep on shinin' your light
Gonna make everything, pretty mama
Gonna make everything all right
And I ain't got no worries
'Cause I ain't in no hurry at all

*I like the Farm Aid version.
http://youtu.be/sxpfw4084Yc

PRMinx

Squamation

I'm gonna try to address this without making it a whole thing.

Yes, you can log whatever you want. But when you ask for advice, you'll get advice. And anyone who cares is gonna tell you logging things as exercise that aren't really exercise is a bad idea.

It may not be what you want to hear, but it's good advice. And that's the problem. Some people want advice, some people want to be told they're doing everything right no matter what.

I've seen people be unnecessarily rude, I've seen people be extraordinarily kind. Just like life. It's no different here. It's everyone's choice if they want to focus on the positive or the negative.

^^this x1000

alligatorrawr

This time last year the site was great. All of a sudden it's now like some dreggy dating site where people look down their noses at each other and race to pass snarky comments.

I have had 2 dudes hit me up on here. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Also I hate how every thread has turned into gif.s and people just saying off topic (and even on topic) RUDE things!! I try to ignore them. but it does make me mad a lot

PRMinx

This time last year the site was great. All of a sudden it's now like some dreggy dating site where people look down their noses at each other and race to pass snarky comments.

I have had 2 dudes hit me up on here. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Also I hate how every thread has turned into gif.s and people just saying off topic (and even on topic) RUDE things!! I try to ignore them. but it does make me mad a lot

Because it's the internet?

baconslave

This time last year the site was great. All of a sudden it's now like some dreggy dating site where people look down their noses at each other and race to pass snarky comments.

I have had 2 dudes hit me up on here. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Also I hate how every thread has turned into gif.s and people just saying off topic (and even on topic) RUDE things!! I try to ignore them. but it does make me mad a lot

Because it's the internet?

Exactly. And people are people.

trinatrina1984

is everyone still here? Is it time for a beer?

in_the_stars

Why?

Ohhhh...
another quotation.


“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves.”
― François de La Rochefoucauld

levitateme

(t)H(r)eads Will Roll. by Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

baconslave

It is painfully obvious that everyone has their own definition of the words: rude, insulting, and mean.

So what about a definition?

I think we can agree that mean isn't people disagreeing with you or telling you advice you don't want to hear. This is a public community, all kinds are going to respond to you. If you post in the general boards, you are opening your question up to everyone and their pet opinions.

People want to be honest. And many of those honest people want to help. But here is where we get murky on our definition of mean.

Honesty isn't necessarily mean, right? Right. Ah, but it isn't necessarily nice either, is it? Not inherently.

It's the words and tone you use. If you use an insulting tone, insinuations about a person's intelligence or education level or sanity in your "honest" replies, you may be honest, but you can also easily be rude and insulting. I think this is where we get people who agree with the OP and other "mean people" threads. Their definition of mean lies with this issue. There are some people, not all obviously, who are brutally honest to the point of rudeness and insult, that hide behind the "I'm not mean, I'm honest" line.

And let's be honest with ourselves, there is a lot of that going on out there. And it does not get challenged most of the time. And it does get high-fived a lot.

Here are some examples, modeled on real posts I have seen here. Remember, I am describing tone.

Not mean: I disagree with you. I think it is better to eat this way (gives reasons)..... (Polite. Thumbs up!)
Rude and insulting (aka pushing it): You are obviously mistaken, perhaps you lack the necessary education, because it is crazy to eat that way. And those who eat that way must be unintelligent/have-poor-logic because they have made that decision. And really I'm better than you. (Insults: Basically indirectly calling the person stupid, uneducated, and that they have a crazy. Maybe the wording is funny as h*ll. Still rude and insulting though.)

Now surely there will be some who read the first example and will hear in their defensive minds the second. But sometimes, the second is what is typed, or some clever derivation thereof. The tone is clear. There is no mistaking it. And the speaker can claim that they are being honest (as they see things). But honest doesn't necessarily denote "not mean." Sure you can call a cat an orange all you like, but if you bite into the cat, it's still going to be furry and not taste at all like an orange. Unless you are on some serious hallucinogens.

I think there are a great many people who routinely style their posts as the second, and know exactly what they are doing. And routinely get validation and high-fives for their unnecessary snark. Sure it's cool to be the mean, funny kid, but it's still rude and insulting, and in certain circumstances can escalate to bullying meanness.

That is what happens sometimes and is what many people are talking about when they say "mean."

But this definition that some of you called for isn't going to change anything.

The nice people will be nice, the honest people will either be nice or mean, and people will get their feelings hurt. Because haters have to hate, otherwise the universe implodes. And some people have to be uber-defensive. And some people have a legitimate reason to feel insulted.

So people who don't like those who disagree with you, get over it. And those who don't like being talked to like you are stupid, crazy, and etc and don't like being insulted, get over it, because there will always be buttholes. You can ignore people, and you can defend yourself without sinking to their level. It is possible. Whether or not people admit it, everyone knows when someone is being genuinely mean, and that person is showing their *kitten*. Let them. They are the ones who look bad. And you really shouldn't care about fake people on the internet. Everyone shows you only what they want you to see. Their opinions matter zero in real life and effect your real life zero as long as you don't let them get to you.

When you get among a group of people behind screens with keyboards, they are going to act like people behind screens with keyboards. You can't expect anything different. You get the good, the bad, and the ugly. That doesn't change. Making posts 8 times a week about people being terrible isn't going to change that, it's just going to draw a mob of people to heckle you.

There you go. My 56 and 3/4 cents worth of web/MFP philosophy.

Enough serious.
And now it's time for some kittehs. To roll this mofo.

tabicatinthehat

This time last year the site was great. All of a sudden it's now like some dreggy dating site where people look down their noses at each other and race to pass snarky comments.

I have had 2 dudes hit me up on here. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Also I hate how every thread has turned into gif.s and people just saying off topic (and even on topic) RUDE things!! I try to ignore them. but it does make me mad a lot

I don't really see why that's a big deal. Why are people always complaining about people hitting on them? I mean, unless they're gross about it, shouldn't you be flattered? It seems so arrogant to be mad about someone being interested in you...

FitForL1fe

WHOA TL;DR

:noway:

in_the_stars

dancing with the kitty now!

http://youtu.be/O8hOqsVAgwI

onmyown70

HI I'm sorry you have has this experience. I just wanted to share my experience, sometimes I have been at a very deep low, and not been able to every confess to anyone in "the real world" and I have received wonderful support and motivation on here. People have taken the time to answer my frantic, not very articulate, relentless questions in detail and offer a huge amount of support. I guess with the net, there will always be trolls. Please stick with it, there are some genuine kind, supportive and intelligent people on here.

baconslave

WHOA TL;DR

:noway:

You referring to something specific? :huh:
My post, I assume.
Your loss then.
Not making a "For Dummies" version.
Oh, was that mean? I thought I was just being honest. :laugh: Sorry. I'm just joking. That was part of my TL;DR. It might be easy with my poor choice of words to misconstrue what I said as insinuating that you were a Dummy, which wasn't my original intent at all. But some people do that. On purpose. And then call it "being honest." Not everyone, but many, do that here. Some people just read everything as a personal attack, true. But sometiimes, people really are being hateful. That is the other definition of "mean." Being honest isn't mean, being honest using rude, insulting wording or insulting insinuations is mean. And behavior like that is often high-fived and celebrated. That is the "mean" a lot of people identify with when they agree with OP on these threads.

It would have been better to say that first part 10 other ways, but tone is important and often tone is pretty darn loud-n-clear. Also, People are going to be people. Don't be too defensive. Or a *kitten*. And if you run across malicious honesty, let it roll off you. It doesn't matter.

There's your TLDR... you missed all the other good stuff in there. Like biting cats and imploding universes. And if this is still too long for you, I can't be any more brief and still get the gist across. I know you'll survive without it. :bigsmile:

baconslave

dancing with the kitty now!

http://youtu.be/O8hOqsVAgwI

:bigsmile:

FitForL1fe

WHOA TL;DR

:noway:

Not making a "For Dummies" version.

Such a jokester :laugh: I hear verbosity is a virtue?

trinatrina1984

It is painfully obvious that everyone has their own definition of the words: rude, insulting, and mean.

So what about a definition?

I think we can agree that mean isn't people disagreeing with you or telling you advice you don't want to hear. This is a public community, all kinds are going to respond to you. If you post in the general boards, you are opening your question up to everyone and their pet opinions.

People want to be honest. And many of those honest people want to help. But here is where we get murky on our definition of mean.

Honesty isn't necessarily mean, right? Right. Ah, but it isn't necessarily nice either, is it? Not inherently.

It's the words and tone you use. If you use an insulting tone, insinuations about a person's intelligence or education level or sanity in your "honest" replies, you may be honest, but you can also easily be rude and insulting. I think this is where we get people who agree with the OP and other "mean people" threads. Their definition of mean lies with this issue. There are some people, not all obviously, who are brutally honest to the point of rudeness and insult, that hide behind the "I'm not mean, I'm honest" line.

And let's be honest with ourselves, there is a lot of that going on out there. And it does not get challenged most of the time. And it does get high-fived a lot.

Here are some examples, modeled on real posts I have seen here. Remember, I am describing tone.

Not mean: I disagree with you. I think it is better to eat this way (gives reasons)..... (Polite. Thumbs up!)
Rude and insulting (aka pushing it): You are obviously mistaken, perhaps you lack the necessary education, because it is crazy to eat that way. And those who eat that way must be unintelligent/have-poor-logic because they have made that decision. And really I'm better than you. (Insults: Basically indirectly calling the person stupid, uneducated, and that they have a crazy. Maybe the wording is funny as h*ll. Still rude and insulting though.)

Now surely there will be some who read the first example and will hear in their defensive minds the second. But sometimes, the second is what is typed, or some clever derivation thereof. The tone is clear. There is no mistaking it. And the speaker can claim that they are being honest (as they see things). But honest doesn't necessarily denote "not mean." Sure you can call a cat an orange all you like, but if you bite into the cat, it's still going to be furry and not taste at all like an orange. Unless you are on some serious hallucinogens.

I think there are a great many people who routinely style their posts as the second, and know exactly what they are doing. And routinely get validation and high-fives for their unnecessary snark. Sure it's cool to be the mean, funny kid, but it's still rude and insulting, and in certain circumstances can escalate to bullying meanness.

That is what happens sometimes and is what many people are talking about when they say "mean."

But this definition that some of you called for isn't going to change anything.

The nice people will be nice, the honest people will either be nice or mean, and people will get their feelings hurt. Because haters have to hate, otherwise the universe implodes. And some people have to be uber-defensive. And some people have a legitimate reason to feel insulted.

So people who don't like those who disagree with you, get over it. And those who don't like being talked to like you are stupid, crazy, and etc and don't like being insulted, get over it, because there will always be buttholes. You can ignore people, and you can defend yourself without sinking to their level. It is possible. Whether or not people admit it, everyone knows when someone is being genuinely mean, and that person is showing their *kitten*. Let them. They are the ones who look bad. And you really shouldn't care about fake people on the internet. Everyone shows you only what they want you to see. Their opinions matter zero in real life and effect your real life zero as long as you don't let them get to you.

When you get among a group of people behind screens with keyboards, they are going to act like people behind screens with keyboards. You can't expect anything different. You get the good, the bad, and the ugly. That doesn't change. Making posts 8 times a week about people being terrible isn't going to change that, it's just going to draw a mob of people to heckle you.

There you go. My 56 and 3/4 cents worth of web/MFP philosophy.

Enough serious.
And now it's time for some kittehs. To roll this mofo.

This GIF - I just can't help singing, I'm a cat (bing) I'm a kitty cat and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance

Edit TL DR - Too Liquored Didn't Read

MyChocolateDiet

IN!...

















...on page 18...:grumble:

unapologetically_crystal

in the forums, you have to have a thick skin.. i have been here for almost three years and from the beginning i saw the people you are speaking of which is why i stayed quiet for the longest time.

there are ALOT of good people here too.. just look past the negative people.. block or ignore them and go about your business.

rachelrb85

This piece of junk thread is still here?

trinatrina1984

This piece of junk thread is still here?

Yep

MissTattoo

In...just because! ^_^

baconslave

It is painfully obvious that everyone has their own definition of the words: rude, insulting, and mean.

So what about a definition?

I think we can agree that mean isn't people disagreeing with you or telling you advice you don't want to hear. This is a public community, all kinds are going to respond to you. If you post in the general boards, you are opening your question up to everyone and their pet opinions.

People want to be honest. And many of those honest people want to help. But here is where we get murky on our definition of mean.

Honesty isn't necessarily mean, right? Right. Ah, but it isn't necessarily nice either, is it? Not inherently.

It's the words and tone you use. If you use an insulting tone, insinuations about a person's intelligence or education level or sanity in your "honest" replies, you may be honest, but you can also easily be rude and insulting. I think this is where we get people who agree with the OP and other "mean people" threads. Their definition of mean lies with this issue. There are some people, not all obviously, who are brutally honest to the point of rudeness and insult, that hide behind the "I'm not mean, I'm honest" line.

And let's be honest with ourselves, there is a lot of that going on out there. And it does not get challenged most of the time. And it does get high-fived a lot.

Here are some examples, modeled on real posts I have seen here. Remember, I am describing tone.

Not mean: I disagree with you. I think it is better to eat this way (gives reasons)..... (Polite. Thumbs up!)
Rude and insulting (aka pushing it): You are obviously mistaken, perhaps you lack the necessary education, because it is crazy to eat that way. And those who eat that way must be unintelligent/have-poor-logic because they have made that decision. And really I'm better than you. (Insults: Basically indirectly calling the person stupid, uneducated, and that they have a crazy. Maybe the wording is funny as h*ll. Still rude and insulting though.)

Now surely there will be some who read the first example and will hear in their defensive minds the second. But sometimes, the second is what is typed, or some clever derivation thereof. The tone is clear. There is no mistaking it. And the speaker can claim that they are being honest (as they see things). But honest doesn't necessarily denote "not mean." Sure you can call a cat an orange all you like, but if you bite into the cat, it's still going to be furry and not taste at all like an orange. Unless you are on some serious hallucinogens.

I think there are a great many people who routinely style their posts as the second, and know exactly what they are doing. And routinely get validation and high-fives for their unnecessary snark. Sure it's cool to be the mean, funny kid, but it's still rude and insulting, and in certain circumstances can escalate to bullying meanness.

That is what happens sometimes and is what many people are talking about when they say "mean."

But this definition that some of you called for isn't going to change anything.

The nice people will be nice, the honest people will either be nice or mean, and people will get their feelings hurt. Because haters have to hate, otherwise the universe implodes. And some people have to be uber-defensive. And some people have a legitimate reason to feel insulted.

So people who don't like those who disagree with you, get over it. And those who don't like being talked to like you are stupid, crazy, and etc and don't like being insulted, get over it, because there will always be buttholes. You can ignore people, and you can defend yourself without sinking to their level. It is possible. Whether or not people admit it, everyone knows when someone is being genuinely mean, and that person is showing their *kitten*. Let them. They are the ones who look bad. And you really shouldn't care about fake people on the internet. Everyone shows you only what they want you to see. Their opinions matter zero in real life and effect your real life zero as long as you don't let them get to you.

When you get among a group of people behind screens with keyboards, they are going to act like people behind screens with keyboards. You can't expect anything different. You get the good, the bad, and the ugly. That doesn't change. Making posts 8 times a week about people being terrible isn't going to change that, it's just going to draw a mob of people to heckle you.

There you go. My 56 and 3/4 cents worth of web/MFP philosophy.

Enough serious.
And now it's time for some kittehs. To roll this mofo.

This GIF - I just can't help singing, I'm a cat (bing) I'm a kitty cat and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance

Edit TL DR - Too Liquored Didn't Read

There's a TL DR up there somewhere for when you are sober. Or skip it and just dance with the kitty cat. Dance, dance, dance and a dance dance dance!

Going to be stuck in my head all day. How many calories do you burn dancing with the kitteh?

Miss_1999