Found My Voice, I wasn't "Hangry"

sofaking6

Guess I'm the lone b!tch who doesn't think OP needs to apologize.

Not a chance. I'm all down for the no apologies in this situation.

We gotta travel in packs, ya know.

I'm with you guys. Co-worker started it by not showing any respect to OP. I think it's great that OP fought back and I do not think she should have to parse her response for perfection. If co-worker can't take it then she shouldn't be dishing it out...literally!

ETA: She did it for a bet??? In that case, I think OP was way too nice to her. I think it's fair to wonder aloud, in front of everyone, what major emotional malfunction is causing her to act like such a b****.

leighannMT

I am new here, so Hello.
I think your coworker should have stopped at NO means NO, and I am glad you did not give a big ole apology....look at what really happened - she was Wayyyy out of line.
Boundaries are a good thing!

klkarlen

it wouldn't hurt for you to say, "I'm sorry for the way i spoke to you" and leave it at that, do not add that you were pushed, or she was being too whatever, or any other excuse. be the bigger (er sorry) person. if she's a decent person she will also apologize.

+1

Oh, just read the next day post, hope she choked on one of the apple slices. That is just wrong on so many levels.

independant2406

Good for you OP for sticking to your guns. Some people love to sabotage others. I'll never understand why.

Need2Exerc1se

I think the comment about the person looking in the mirror was a little over the line. I probably would apologize for blowing my top, but not for refusing the food.

The rant itself is understandable. Why do people think it's okay to be forcefully rude when offering food to others? I've seen it happen many times. It's happened to me. It's crazy.

I stopped arguing over food a long time ago. If I say no, that's the end of it. Leave a piece of cake I've said no to on my desk and I'll toss in the trash right in front of you.

VeryKatie

The chick was an *kitten* making a bet with her mom whether or not you'd cave and eat the goodies, but it is kind of funny that she had premeditated sabotage, when you were feeling so bad about hurting her feelings.

Simply, this ^

JoRocka

Guess I'm the lone b!tch who doesn't think OP needs to apologize.

I don't necessarily think she needs to apologize either.

Her "friend" was being rude and pushy. She got pushed too far and said something kinda mean.

If it was me, I probably *would* apologize if I wanted things to be "comfortable" with that person. But I don't think she needs to.

I'd be curious to see how the other person behaves from here on out.

If it was me, IF the other lady did that again, I'd say: Did you NOT hear me last time? Do I really need to repeat myself?

Hey, good job OP. I would have probably gotten pissed. Taken the cookie and crumbled it on the floor and walked out.

ETA: now I've read the rest of the story. The other lady is a btch who does not deserve any kind of apology. JESUS. Who does that?

I'm 100% with the "do not apologize crowd" - even though I see there is more to the story- I still am convinced no apology needed.

With aggressive food "pushers" my go to comment is "if I want to look like you- I'll eat like you" . Seriously- after two "no thank you's" and they keep coming- you gotta get a little nasty with them.

nope nope nope- no apology- stand up for yourself. and mean it.

You did good.

Stoshew71

I think you need a bake a chocolate cake (filled with ExLax), cut a big piece out to make it look like leftovers, come in early (before everyone), plant it near the co-workers desk, hide until more people show up, looked confused when people ask where the cake came from.

sherambler

Good for you for holding your ground. I hate when this happens. Our office is like The Office TV show where we have a party like every week for the most ridiculous reasons. A birthday or promotion is reasonable, but we do a party for everything. We even have days called "Office Pig Out" or OPOs, that occur at least once a month and twice if there's a holiday. It's annoying because it happens so often. Clearly, your co-worker should've backed off, it's like they get so wrapped up in the song and dance of it all.

Still, I would apologize. You can't expect to get an apology for her harassing/not going away/not listening to you if you're not willing to apologize for what you're at fault for.

Also, even if you decide that you ultimately don't want or need to apologize, be aware that she could always complain to your boss/HR since, if I'm reading this right, it happened at work. If you apologize, you at least cut the train off at the pass rather than having it catch up to you.

duffmama

No need for an apology. Sometimes you have to get a little rude with people who still don't have a clue when you've given them a whole bag full. Misery loves company and sometimes it's hard to watch someone have the discipline to eat healthy. When I'm doing well my coworkers scrutinize every thing I eat, and when I don't I'm getting high fives, like I've joined the "i don't give a f**k club".