Anyone Else Have an Overweight Chid? Any tips?

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Replies

  • hyg99
    hyg99 Posts: 354 Member
    I have 3 children, one skinny, one average, one overweight. I feed them the same. I was also conscious my own weight may be or is a contributing factor so was part of my reasons to lose my own weight.

    It's truly difficult especially as are teens. I don't want to make foods an issue. Yet I want desperately to help.

    We eat healthily, meals from scratch but still Saturday night treat like HM curry and stir frys instead of takeaways.
    I try and have frequently fun days out, biking and walking, also currently skiing lessons.
    We have movie night and I do platters of fruit instead of crisps.
    Have you tried disguising veggies? I also always put a few of every thing on the plate every time.
    I remember year's ago someone asking me how I got my kids to eat brown bread, my response was I don't buy white.. simples. I am the same with any thing I don't want them to have, tough cos im not buying, things like chocolate in cereal... not in my house.
  • I wish when I was growing up that my parents taught me the importance of "food is fuel" vs. "food to eat." (I don't know when would be an appropriate age to start passing that on to him)

    Any type of exercise helps, like the other posters. One of my favorite things was a kids summer camp, we'd do arts and crafts all day along with dodgeball/tag/other games :)
  • ThePhoenixIsRising
    ThePhoenixIsRising Posts: 781 Member
    My 2.5 year old is 45lbs and his dr raised an eyebrow at me. He has a gut and needs 4t pants. I took away all juice and milk save for one glass at each meal. I also gave a time limit for meal time. He has 20 min to eat, anything left on his plate is removed and he waits till next meal time. It was hard at first because before if he was hungry he ate if he wasn't he didn't. It made it hard for me to track if he was eating enough or too much. It has been 6 months and he is still 45 lbs but he has grown 1.25 inches. He is growing into his weight.
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
    My youngest son who is now 19 was quite obese. At age 15 we met the most wonderful doctor. He never once used the word diet. My son had high blood pressure and was super close to being 'pre-diabetic'. At the time he was 5'9" and weighed 268 pounds.

    The doctor showed my son a growth chart, and that my son was not on it. His goal was to get my son to 199 pounds over 3 years. He knew he'd be growing in height. His plan of action was first to try to prevent more weight gain.

    My son was asked to change ONE poor eating habit and substitute it for one good choice. He gave up chips and started eating fruit at least once a day.

    He was asked to move his body a little bit more each day. Nothing huge, just get moving more. So, he started walking to school instead of me driving him.

    In 3 months he lost 8 pounds. Not a lot, but enough so that he could see progress.

    Anyway, he kept at this and kept making better choices. We cut out fast food dinners to just once a month.

    Now at 19, he is 5' 10.5" and weighs 187. He looks and feels amazing. He skateboards and runs. He told me he loves how his body feels now and that he can do active things without being out of breath.

    Making these changes for you son now is the best thing you can do to ensure he has a long healthy life. He's still under your control when it comes to food choices. My son was in high school and had access to the convenience stores/ fast food places.
    Please just don't ever use the word "diet" with you boy. Slow and steady is the healthy way for youngsters to attain leaner bodies. Get him moving much much more than what he is doing today.
    Any kind of game where they run is good.
    Have plenty of healthy and tasty food available is key too. It's just so easy to give in to fast food when life is busy and everyone is starving.
    Good luck.
  • arussell134
    arussell134 Posts: 463 Member
    I don't have any advice to share, but just wanted to hop on and say two things...

    1) I'm so proud of you for making these changes not only for him but for you and for taking full responsibility. It's clear you love your son and want to model healthy behaviors for him.
    2) I'm so proud of the people who've responded to be encouraging, kind, and supportive without being judgmental.

    Best wishes on your journey and your son's!
  • sweedee1218
    sweedee1218 Posts: 98 Member
    Thank you so much everyone for being so kind and supportive!! I am making a list!! Thanks for all the great advice and for your kind words its a excellent motivation!!!
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    My 2.5 year old is 45lbs and his dr raised an eyebrow at me. He has a gut and needs 4t pants. I took away all juice and milk save for one glass at each meal. I also gave a time limit for meal time. He has 20 min to eat, anything left on his plate is removed and he waits till next meal time. It was hard at first because before if he was hungry he ate if he wasn't he didn't. It made it hard for me to track if he was eating enough or too much. It has been 6 months and he is still 45 lbs but he has grown 1.25 inches. He is growing into his weight.

    How tall is he? My 5 year old is 44lbs. Your son could be really tall though. Sometimes height isn't taken into account. A friend of mine has a 6ft4 husband and is tall herself, but she was pulled up about her boys' weight at their 2 year checks. Look at how tall they are!!
  • nicoleagafitness
    nicoleagafitness Posts: 100 Member
    what everyone else says, plus BIKE RIDES! Great and low impact.
  • ironsun
    ironsun Posts: 30
    while all of these wonderful parents are chiming in with great suggestions.....i have another question people might be able to help with.....how do you get your extremely picky eater to eat fruits and veggies?....or even TRY them?....he started snubbing them when he was around 18 months and hasnt looked back.

    I tell my kid that he doesn't get any more food until he eats what is on his plate. Eventually he will get hungry and eat it. With my kid, it is just a power play.
  • jamilynn_8890
    jamilynn_8890 Posts: 48 Member
    Coming from someone who has been overweight since childhood, I have to disagree with the people saying not to put him on a diet and not to encourage him to lose weight. I WISH my parents would have done this with me. I probably wouldn't be struggling with it now if I had learned my lessons then. I wasted so many years of my life because of this and I'd give anything to have them back.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    while all of these wonderful parents are chiming in with great suggestions.....i have another question people might be able to help with.....how do you get your extremely picky eater to eat fruits and veggies?....or even TRY them?....he started snubbing them when he was around 18 months and hasnt looked back.
    When you get home from school, you must eat a piece of fruit or no going outside, no video games, no other after-school snack.

    Fruit First.

    I'd start with strawberries because they're yummy and not too big. :)

    I'd say "Fruit or no food", but human nature would mean the kid will dig in their heels and not have the fruit or dinner and then complain at bedtime about going to bed hungry, at which point most moms would cave. So, unless you're prepared to out-stubborn the child, no reason to set up rules you won't stick to. :)
  • ThePhoenixIsRising
    ThePhoenixIsRising Posts: 781 Member
    My 2.5 year old is 45lbs and his dr raised an eyebrow at me. He has a gut and needs 4t pants. I took away all juice and milk save for one glass at each meal. I also gave a time limit for meal time. He has 20 min to eat, anything left on his plate is removed and he waits till next meal time. It was hard at first because before if he was hungry he ate if he wasn't he didn't. It made it hard for me to track if he was eating enough or too much. It has been 6 months and he is still 45 lbs but he has grown 1.25 inches. He is growing into his weight.

    How tall is he? My 5 year old is 44lbs. Your son could be really tall though. Sometimes height isn't taken into account. A friend of mine has a 6ft4 husband and is tall herself, but she was pulled up about her boys' weight at their 2 year checks. Look at how tall they are!!
    I'm 5,10" on a short day and my hubby is 6'. My son is tall for his age, but the dr said he was too heavy even for his height. That was 1.25 inches ago, and I am seeing his belly look like it fits him better than it did. I don't want him to lose weight I just want his height to catch up with his weight.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    My 2.5 year old is 45lbs and his dr raised an eyebrow at me. He has a gut and needs 4t pants. I took away all juice and milk save for one glass at each meal. I also gave a time limit for meal time. He has 20 min to eat, anything left on his plate is removed and he waits till next meal time. It was hard at first because before if he was hungry he ate if he wasn't he didn't. It made it hard for me to track if he was eating enough or too much. It has been 6 months and he is still 45 lbs but he has grown 1.25 inches. He is growing into his weight.

    How tall is he? My 5 year old is 44lbs. Your son could be really tall though. Sometimes height isn't taken into account. A friend of mine has a 6ft4 husband and is tall herself, but she was pulled up about her boys' weight at their 2 year checks. Look at how tall they are!!
    I'm 5,10" on a short day and my hubby is 6'. My son is tall for his age, but the dr said he was too heavy even for his height. That was 1.25 inches ago, and I am seeing his belly look like it fits him better than it did. I don't want him to lose weight I just want his height to catch up with his weight.

    Kids that age usually lose quite a bit once they hit 2 anyway as they shoot up and they're so active. My eldest two were 29 and 26lbs at their 2 year checks, both above average height. My son went through a really skinny phase when he was 3.
  • penny0919
    penny0919 Posts: 123 Member
    ^^Well to be accurate they don't lose weight, they just get taller while not gaining as fast.

    I can't see many examples where a two-year-old weighing 45 lbs isn't overweight. My son is 6.5, 57 lbs and he is only a pound or two away from falling in the "overweight bmi" category.

    ThePhoenix it sounds like you are doing an awesome job keep it up. You'd be shocked at how much a difference just taking away juice is.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    ^^Well to be accurate they don't lose weight, they just get taller while not gaining as fast.

    I can't see many examples where a two-year-old weighing 45 lbs isn't overweight. My son is 6.5, 57 lbs and he is only a pound or two away from falling in the "overweight bmi" category.

    ThePhoenix it sounds like you are doing an awesome job keep it up. You'd be shocked at how much a difference just taking away juice is.

    Lol that's what I meant. They grow taller faster than they gain weight!

    We don't buy juice. We don't even buy cordial. They just get water or milk. That's what they get at school/nursery too.
  • penny0919
    penny0919 Posts: 123 Member
    What is cordial??

    At my oldest kid's school they offer chocolate milk at lunch...makes me so mad. Of course he picks it every single time.
  • Kate7294
    Kate7294 Posts: 783 Member
    Sounds like you are already doing great just changing to a more healthier lifestyle. Preparing healthier meals and being more active. Good for you! Plus glad you stopped your husband from the whole making him "clean his plate". I was anemic in the 1st grade and was forced to clean my plate or eat it cold for breakfast. I still have a hard time leaving food on my plate. Even now weighing out my servings I eat my allotted servings. May have to incorporate trying to leave a bite of each behind myself. Good luck!
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
    My son was overweight at 7. We didn't seriously work on his weight until he was 12. He did lose some weight but that was okay'd by his doctors. When he was younger they did want him to grow into his weight. Now, he is maintaining and growing. He is still a little overweight but everyone comments on how much he has slimmed down. One thing I did was replace some of his high calorie foods with less calorie dense food like exchanging baked panko crusted chicken pieces for nuggets.

    As far as activity. My son is active just playing sports and with friends. He has unscheduled free time. If your son has a lot of screen time (computers, video games, tv) you can limit that.

    And, don't beat yourself up. We asked for help and people would make us feel guilty and it didn't help much. The ones that said, this is where we are at, where do we go from here, gave us new ideas. I don't know how much they can involve your son at that age. My son doesn't seem to care so much about his weight, but he wants to be good at sports, so we appealed to that aspect. That he will be able to run faster and be a better athlete.

    We have had people tell us he must be upset about his weight, but I don't think it has been as much of an issue to him as they think. I could be wrong, but I know him better than they do.

    You can message me if you want to talk more. It sounds like you are on the right track. It does take time.
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
    while all of these wonderful parents are chiming in with great suggestions.....i have another question people might be able to help with.....how do you get your extremely picky eater to eat fruits and veggies?....or even TRY them?....he started snubbing them when he was around 18 months and hasnt looked back.

    I would like an answer to this, too. One thing I heard was to keep putting them on their plate so they know they are food.

    What we do is feed them the ones they do like. My kids like a lot of the starchy veggies: corn, peas. They like carrots. My son likes bananas and watermelon. They both like spinach. So, I make sure I have those. My daughter will eat more veggies so every so often we have my son try a bite to see if his taste has changed. He doesn't like it, When they were infants they would eat anything. They are teens now and are starting to try new foods.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    What is cordial??

    booze?
  • wkwebby
    wkwebby Posts: 807 Member
    I wish that my parents and I had learned about portions as a kid. I was lucky enough to not need this until I was an adult, but in recent years, my portion control was what I needed.

    Maybe you can get him involved in cooking so that he is more prepared with cooking healthy and measuring oils, meats, and such? Food was a huge deal in my house as a kid, and I was obsessed with cleaning the plate as an adult. So my suggestion is the good ol' use smaller plates thing.

    It might help with the visual aspect and the whole clean your plate thing. I find that it will help to limit the amount of times that you need to get up (so you are able to eat a little slower too and give your mind the ability to tell you that you're full).

    As for activities: the swimming thing that you said is always a great one, but you've got biking, roller blading, skate boarding, or just outside game time/walking or hiking.
  • wkwebby
    wkwebby Posts: 807 Member
    What is cordial??

    booze?

    A type of booze, and much sweeter. Usually a dessert type alcohol that you would sip.
  • JenniDaisy
    JenniDaisy Posts: 526 Member
    What is cordial??

    booze?

    A type of booze, and much sweeter. Usually a dessert type alcohol that you would sip.

    No it's not, fruit squash? you know sugary fruit juice you dilute with water.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    What is cordial??

    booze?

    Oh, like orange squash. Not sure what you call it in the US. Just flavoured and concentrated and you add water to it.

    I definitely don't give my kids booze lol.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    What is cordial??

    booze?

    Oh, like orange squash. Not sure what you call it in the US. Just flavoured and concentrated and you add water to it.

    I definitely don't give my kids booze lol.

    It was especially funny reading it and looking at your profile pic with the adorable little munchkin.
    Why did you ruin my awesome scenario!! :laugh:
  • caracrawford1
    caracrawford1 Posts: 657 Member
    I would follow your drs advice. Focus on preventing him from gaining more weight at this time by being active and exercising portion control, but not on losing weight. He is still growing and has different needs.
  • Slacker16
    Slacker16 Posts: 1,184 Member
    I don't have a fat kid but I was a fat kid...

    It's a catch-22. When they're young enough that you can control what they eat, you probably shouldn't since they need the nutrition. When they're old enough that you can safely reduce how much they eat, good luck controlling them.

    Best bet would be to try many different physical activities until your kid finds something he likes and hope for the best. I can give you a list of don'ts, though.

    Don't pump him full of "you're just big and strong" or "you'll grow into your weight", he won't believe you but he will use it as an excuse. Don't make his weight a big thing either, he'll probably get enough of that stuff at school. Finally, encourage him to eat out of hunger rather than habit, politeness or boredom.

    Also, I don't believe in restricting anyone's diet but I do agree with this:
    My number #1 tip....NO SWEETENED DRINKS!!!
    ETA : there's no such thing as "growing into his weight", it's just short for "ignore it until he starts noticing girls at which point he'll make himself lose weight".
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    I don't have kids and I don't know your financial situation or whats in your area, but have you considered rock climbing as a family? I go on weekends with my boyfriend and the place is crawling with kids because there are a lot of birthday parties. I would suggest you and your husband take the belay class and then you can take turns sending each other and you son up the wall. The rock gyms usually have intro courses. Its great for bonding and building trust and doesn't feel like a normal work out.
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
    My son is 7 and he is 115lbs and a little over 4ft tall. I take full responsibility for his weight. We are all overweight due to our eating habits and lifestyle. About a month ago I decided enough was enough so I have changed the way we all eat. I started cooking more and for the most part have cut out fast food, sweets, chips, candy and what not. He gets a treat once a week. I am working on portion control for him and using MFP for myself. Doctor says to let him grow into the weight but I'm sure it would not hurt him to lose a little. I am hoping that the change in diet will help. I am also looking for ways to get him more active with out making him feel like he is "working out" I guess. We have all been going to the park together. I was just wondering if anyone had any tips or advice or has gone through a similar experience. I don't want my son to be unhealthy and I know he is going to need my guidance. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

    My youngest is a little heavy for his size/age/height.....
    So I think my wife is working on cutting back what he eats.....

    I know when I have my kids, and I take them out, they only get water with their meal when we eat out, no sodas.
    I order veggies for them.
    When at my place, it is either water or skim milk.
    I watch how much he eats

    And I try to get them outside when the weather is nice....take them to one of the parks and let them run around.....
    Again bringing water to drink.
    and a snack
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
    When my son really is going through a growth spurt he is hungry all of the time. I don't deny him food when he is hungry, I might delay giving him seconds or offer him something different, but he doesn't go hungry.