Should i tell him that he is gaining the weight back

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  • desidieter
    desidieter Posts: 195
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    Why do I get the feeling this is a troll post? :huh:
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
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    Hmmm. Has Atkins in username, comments on a co-worker's all-vegetable diet.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Nope.
    NopeNope.
    NopeNopeNope.
    NopeNopeNope Nope.

    Don't do it. He already knows. You won't be doing him any favors.
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
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    Nope.
    NopeNope.
    NopeNopeNope.
    NopeNopeNope Nope.

    Don't do it. He already knows. You won't be doing him any favors.

    ^^This

    No. He knows.
  • Telton66
    Telton66 Posts: 74
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    I guess everyone is right but when he lost weight, I didn't say anything but then he came to me and asked me if I noticed that he had lost weight. He is the one who brought it up.Then I asked him how he did it and he said he only ate vegetables for a month straight.I told him about how i am losing weight slowly with counting calories and he laughed and said he always does it fast. So that's why I thought he woudnt mind talking about his weight.Also he is guy so I thought guys are not sensitive about their weight and they don't hesitate telling another dude that he is getting fat
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,266 Member
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    well this is a delicate situation. I am sure he already knows he is gaining the weight back but since you say you are a concerned friend, maybe you could do it in a round about way like asking how he lost the weight and what is his secret to keeping it off. when I am getting lazy myself and people ask me this.. it really makes me feel like a hiprocrite and a little more aware that I need to keep practicing what I preach. I also think back to when I first started this journey and wishing and wondering why someone never said anything to me about me gaining weight. I mean it may have upset me at the time and of course hindsight is 20/20 vision and all .. but it may have motivated me to get back to it a lot sooner and I may not have got as big as I did. just a thought. this is a situation you have to handle with care... you don't want to lose a friend by coming off rude. ask if he ever wants to go on lunch walks or something. all journeys of weightloss are like a roller coater ride. he is just at the low of it right now. its nice of you to be concerned but be respectful of his feelings and be discreet if you decide to do anything. good luck with that one. :flowerforyou:
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    The only person I would ever mention that they are gaining weight to is my husband, and even that's a maybe and under the right conditions.

    It's none of your business and you will only hurt your relationship, business and personal.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    He already knows that he is gaining the weight back.

    Maybe from the all veggie diet.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    I guess everyone is right but when he lost weight, I didn't say anything but then he came to me and asked me if I noticed that he had lost weight. He is the one who brought it up.Then I asked him how he did it and he said he only ate vegetables for a month straight.I told him about how i am losing weight slowly with counting calories and he laughed and said he always does it fast. So that's why I thought he woudnt mind talking about his weight.Also he is guy so I thought guys are not sensitive about their weight and they don't hesitate telling another dude that he is getting fat

    I think a lot of guys are more sensitive about it than they might let on.

    Also, him bringing up the fact that he lost weight isn't the same as you bringing up the fact that he's gaining.
  • sophiek1964
    sophiek1964 Posts: 79 Member
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    No! Just no.
  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
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    No, nuh uh, nope, noooo

    1.) It's really none of your business
    2.) I bet he already knows it.
    3.) Some guys are just as sensitive about their weight as some ladies.

    Edited for spelling errors.
  • LeslieTSUK
    LeslieTSUK Posts: 215 Member
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    Normally I'd say no, best not to say anything, as if he took it wrong way you still have to work with him daily.

    But!!!!!!

    If you really wanted to help him as a friend, you could say to him in private something like.

    Remember 6 months ago you did that great diet, I could do with some help as i'm trying a few new ideas on myself and your only one I know thats had any success with it.

    Then if he not aware it might make him think mmm am a bit out of shape again, if he is aware maybe by supposedly helping you he will watch what he doing to.

    Not often I agree with others here on MFP but on this occasion they probably right to keep ya nose out of it....

    But it nice that your kind enough to think of him like that, not many would care.

    NOTE: Men are super sensitive, one of reasons they can act like total A-Holes at times to try mask their feelings and be the big i am etc.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    He likes his roller coaster weight. Eat whatever gain weight. Eat restricted lose very fast. In wonder how his insides look like?
  • daydreams_of_pretty
    daydreams_of_pretty Posts: 506 Member
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    I guess everyone is right but when he lost weight, I didn't say anything but then he came to me and asked me if I noticed that he had lost weight. He is the one who brought it up.Then I asked him how he did it and he said he only ate vegetables for a month straight.I told him about how i am losing weight slowly with counting calories and he laughed and said he always does it fast. So that's why I thought he woudnt mind talking about his weight.Also he is guy so I thought guys are not sensitive about their weight and they don't hesitate telling another dude that he is getting fat

    Based on this post, it really seems like you might be just a tiny bit happy that he's gaining the weight back from his fast weight loss after laughing at you for trying to lose slowly. Are you sure that a tiny part of you is not wanting to "help" him by pointing out the gain just so that you can enjoy the fact that you were right about his weight loss not being sustainable? I'm not judging. We've all been there at one time or another.

    I also don't think that you should tell him. Aside from the fact that it would hurt his feelings, his responses the last time you talked to him about weight loss suggest that he doesn't want outside opinions. If you're really interested in helping him, I think that working on your own goals is the best way to do that. Share information about what you're doing to be successful when he asks or when it's relevant to the conversation. Talk positively about your journey and the successes that you have. Tell him about your experiences on MFP or about a great article that you read. You can help him without hurting his feelings.
  • LosingExtraKristy
    LosingExtraKristy Posts: 164 Member
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    He already knows that he is gaining the weight back.

    This right here. I'm sure he knows. He probably feels it in his clothes. He doesn't need you to tell him and it's not your place.
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
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    He already knows that he is gaining the weight back.

    Substitute her and she for him and he in the topic and you get your answer.

    I agree with the others. He knows!
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
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    if he's a good friend I would bring up a concern, do it in a private setting.

    Please don't do this. This person knows if they are gaining weight back, and you making them feel bad about it (even though that isn't what you are trying to do) isn't going to help at all.
  • cortezpj
    cortezpj Posts: 129 Member
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    Do it, don't do it -- it doesn't seem like he'd really care either way. He's a classic case of someone who crash-diets then gains the weight back because they didn't make the lifestyle changes needed to maintain the loss. He's probably surprised that he's gaining it back, too.

    You told him about your slow and steady methods and he seems to have blown you off. Let him yo-yo all he wants.
  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 477 Member
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    I guess everyone is right but when he lost weight, I didn't say anything but then he came to me and asked me if I noticed that he had lost weight. He is the one who brought it up.Then I asked him how he did it and he said he only ate vegetables for a month straight.I told him about how i am losing weight slowly with counting calories and he laughed and said he always does it fast. So that's why I thought he woudnt mind talking about his weight.Also he is guy so I thought guys are not sensitive about their weight and they don't hesitate telling another dude that he is getting fat

    Based on this post, it really seems like you might be just a tiny bit happy that he's gaining the weight back from his fast weight loss after laughing at you for trying to lose slowly. Are you sure that a tiny part of you is not wanting to "help" him by pointing out the gain just so that you can enjoy the fact that you were right about his weight loss not being sustainable? I'm not judging. We've all been there at one time or another.

    I also don't think that you should tell him. Aside from the fact that it would hurt his feelings, his responses the last time you talked to him about weight loss suggest that he doesn't want outside opinions. If you're really interested in helping him, I think that working on your own goals is the best way to do that. Share information about what you're doing to be successful when he asks or when it's relevant to the conversation. Talk positively about your journey and the successes that you have. Tell him about your experiences on MFP or about a great article that you read. You can help him without hurting his feelings.

    This response is perfect. Take it and run with it, OP.
  • Telton66
    Telton66 Posts: 74
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    Well I wasn't planning to tell him as I try not to offend people if I can help it ,which is the reason why I posted this thread. Just wanted to hear other people perspective about this

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