Should i tell him that he is gaining the weight back
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The person already knows they're gaining weight. Pointing it out to them is an a-hole thing to do, regardless of how close you are.and for the people saying he knows...you'd be surprised at how deluded some people can become.
Even though I a not going to say anything, i do agree with you that its easy to pretend its not happening in early stages especially if its 5 to 10 lbs
So what? It's still not your business.
wow...some friend you are. maybe you arent close with your friends but for anyone i call a "good friend" like the OP i would speak up and would hope they would do the same.
just like the alcoholic that knows he has a problem but continues to drink anyway? if a good friend is harming themselves you say something. most people can talk to a good friend in a sensitive way to let them know they see a problem and are there to help.0 -
in a lot of ways obesity is like alcoholism. if your friend was an alcoholic wouldnt you say something? or would you try to "lead by example"?
if you truly are a friend and your friend is harming themselves(obesity/drugs/alchol/cutting...) then you absolutely should do something.
5 lbs does not obesity make.
where does it say 5lbs? OP said friend lost weight 6 months ago. id assume it was more than 5 lbs. even if it was only 5 good friends should be able to discuss matters like this.
She said 5-10 lbs in a later post. But now I think maybe she didn't mean that's how much she thinks he gained.
Either way she said she was just starting to notice around his midsection and that's the first place men gain. That doesn't make it sound like obesity at all.
eta: here's what she said:Even though I a not going to say anything, i do agree with you that its easy to pretend its not happening in early stages especially if its 5 to 10 lbs
maybe this is a male/female divide issue but guys dont have a problem talking about stuff like this.0 -
in a lot of ways obesity is like alcoholism. if your friend was an alcoholic wouldnt you say something? or would you try to "lead by example"?
if you truly are a friend and your friend is harming themselves(obesity/drugs/alchol/cutting...) then you absolutely should do something.
5 lbs does not obesity make.
where does it say 5lbs? OP said friend lost weight 6 months ago. id assume it was more than 5 lbs. even if it was only 5 good friends should be able to discuss matters like this.
She said 5-10 lbs in a later post. But now I think maybe she didn't mean that's how much she thinks he gained.
Either way she said she was just starting to notice around his midsection and that's the first place men gain. That doesn't make it sound like obesity at all.
eta: here's what she said:Even though I a not going to say anything, i do agree with you that its easy to pretend its not happening in early stages especially if its 5 to 10 lbs
maybe this is a male/female divide issue but guys dont have a problem talking about stuff like this.
Not true. I know some men who are pretty sensitive about it.0 -
in a lot of ways obesity is like alcoholism. if your friend was an alcoholic wouldnt you say something? or would you try to "lead by example"?
if you truly are a friend and your friend is harming themselves(obesity/drugs/alchol/cutting...) then you absolutely should do something.
5 lbs does not obesity make.
where does it say 5lbs? OP said friend lost weight 6 months ago. id assume it was more than 5 lbs. even if it was only 5 good friends should be able to discuss matters like this.
She said 5-10 lbs in a later post. But now I think maybe she didn't mean that's how much she thinks he gained.
Either way she said she was just starting to notice around his midsection and that's the first place men gain. That doesn't make it sound like obesity at all.
eta: here's what she said:Even though I a not going to say anything, i do agree with you that its easy to pretend its not happening in early stages especially if its 5 to 10 lbs
maybe this is a male/female divide issue but guys dont have a problem talking about stuff like this.
Umm I can tell you guys are sensitive about weight too.0 -
I've always been well aware when I gained weight and didn't need anyone telling me. MYOB.0
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I also think that using gender stereotypes to form the basis for your social interactions is dangerous territory even if those stereotypes are usually true. For example, if my husband said to himself "I'll bring a whole bunch of people over for dinner tonight. The wife won't mind, women love to entertain and socialize," things would not go well for him.0
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Then why do so many people expect others to comment on their weight loss but not weight gain? I see so many post on people getting offended that no one noticed and when will people notice etc. As for myself I am not overly fond of weight loss comments .If I expect people to comment on my weight loss then I shoudn't be upset if they comment on my weight gain.Right?:huh:0
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Strictly depends on how close you are..when i was bigger and struggled with eating healthy food One of my close friends used to say " don't let yourself go man!" in a friendly manner, that definitely helped. Its also the recipient's perspective which makes or breaks it.0
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Then why do so many people expect others to comment on their weight loss but not weight gain? I see so many post on people getting offended that no one noticed and when will people notice etc. As for myself I am not overly fond of weight loss comments .If I expect people to comment on my weight loss then I shoudn't be upset if they comment on my weight gain.Right?:huh:
I don't comment on someone's weight at all. And there are just as many posts from people who are offended that people noticed their weight loss.
If you want to tell him then go for it. But don't start threads asking what you should do if you're just going to do it anyway.0 -
Then why do so many people expect others to comment on their weight loss but not weight gain? I see so many post on people getting offended that no one noticed and when will people notice etc. As for myself I am not overly fond of weight loss comments .If I expect people to comment on my weight loss then I shoudn't be upset if they comment on my weight gain.Right?:huh:
I don't comment on someone's weight at all. And there are just as many posts from people who are offended that people noticed their weight loss.
If you want to tell him then go for it. But don't start threads asking what you should do if you're just going to do it anyway.
I don't comment on people weight either way. It was just a thought and I clearly stated on my other post that was not planning to I to do it. I am more interested on hearing other people perspective on the subject. I created this thread soley for discussion and hearing other people thoughts and opinion. It doesn't mean that I am going to act on it0 -
Then why do so many people expect others to comment on their weight loss but not weight gain? I see so many post on people getting offended that no one noticed and when will people notice etc. As for myself I am not overly fond of weight loss comments .If I expect people to comment on my weight loss then I shoudn't be upset if they comment on my weight gain.Right?:huh:
I don't comment on someone's weight at all. And there are just as many posts from people who are offended that people noticed their weight loss.
If you want to tell him then go for it. But don't start threads asking what you should do if you're just going to do it anyway.
I don't comment on people weight either way. It was just a thought and I clearly stated on my other post that was not planning to I to do it. I am more interested on hearing other people perspective on the subject. I created this thread soley for discussion and hearing other people thoughts and opinion. It doesn't mean that I am going to act on it
Well, I think you got what you came for, then. You've heard MANY different perspectives. Most of which stating that it would be rude to say anything. I can assure you, when I lost all the weight and then gained it all back and then some, I was FULLY aware. And, someone bringing my attention to it would have really made me mad (and embarrassed....but, most likely, not enough to change it.) .
It is no one else's business than mine (or his, in this case), and when I'M ready, mentally/physically/emotionally, I'll lose it all again. (And, now I am.
I promise you, he'll do the same if/when HE becomes ready...not when YOU tell him to.
My mother has always felt the need to "enlighten me" about my weight gains. All it does is make me depressed, want to eat more, and then I try to hide how much I'm eating from her, so I don't have to hear about it.... So, sadly, her comments have the opposite effect of what she was hoping to accomplish. What it boils down to, is we have to do it for ourselves, and no one else.
Oh, and I think people comment on weight LOSS over weight gain, because the loss is indicative that you are doing something that isn't easy. Working out, eating right, all the little things that go into making a huge lifestyle change, are difficult. People comment on weight loss because they KNOW that it isn't easy, and want to be supportive of you working hard to have a healthier lifestyle. People DON'T comment on weight gain, because that wouldn't be supportive, kind, or helpful.
Just my two cents in the "discussion".... 0 -
No no no no, hell no.0
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You suppose he doesn't realize he's gaining weight back?
Charming.0 -
no0
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Why don't you have a conversation over lunch (out of the office) and just mention how you are concerned about yourself re-gaining weight even if you haven't or are 110% committed to ensuring that doesn't happen and maybe he’ll come out admitting "yea, me too, I've gained ___". It may not happen on the first conversation but you can try a couple times. Alternatively you can challenge each other to go to the gym together on lunch or to hit your cals exactly on MFP daily.0
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Write a note to him on the staff board, or stick it on the fridge....0
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I'd be pissed off if someone didn't challenge me.0
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Then why do so many people expect others to comment on their weight loss but not weight gain? I see so many post on people getting offended that no one noticed and when will people notice etc. As for myself I am not overly fond of weight loss comments .If I expect people to comment on my weight loss then I shoudn't be upset if they comment on my weight gain.Right?:huh:
That's not how the world works.0 -
and for the people saying he knows...you'd be surprised at how deluded some people can become.
Even though I a not going to say anything, i do agree with you that its easy to pretend its not happening in early stages especially if its 5 to 10 lbs
So what? It's still not your business.
wow...some friend you are. maybe you arent close with your friends but for anyone i call a "good friend" like the OP i would speak up and would hope they would do the same.
So you go around telling all of your overweight friends that you are worried about them, and think they need to lose weight?0 -
Then why do so many people expect others to comment on their weight loss but not weight gain? I see so many post on people getting offended that no one noticed and when will people notice etc. As for myself I am not overly fond of weight loss comments .If I expect people to comment on my weight loss then I shoudn't be upset if they comment on my weight gain.Right?:huh:
That's not how the world works.
And its the difference between an insult and a compliment. I think you do get it.0
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