***UPDATE***My boyfriend doesn't like the new me HELP!!!

TurtlesRule
TurtlesRule Posts: 53
edited September 23 in Health and Weight Loss
ORIGINAL POST:
Guys and Ladies Please help!! My boyfriend is against my wieghtloss goals and says if I lose any more he will dump me ?? I've only lost 3lbs so far...Makes no sense I was 20lbs lighter when we met What can I tell him or do??

UPDATE: Many things I forgot to add here so here I go again...Yes I am considered "obese" for my height/weight ratio I want to be healthier NOT skinny, he is the guy we all hate he eats nothing but fast food and junk and he hasn't worked out in god knows how long BUT without a shirt he shows nothing but muscle I know I don't get it either :mad: and yes I was very fit when we met I had my high school/ college volleyball body still so major difference and no kids either so I felt I had no excuse on letting myself go and on the "maybe he likes you thick" then why do the people I catch him looking at are boderline models??...THANK YOU all for your responses!
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Replies

  • BrentGetsFit
    BrentGetsFit Posts: 878 Member
    He's going to dump you for losing weight? Let him, you're better off.
  • barbosa22
    barbosa22 Posts: 178 Member
    He doesn't want u to lose weight because he is insecure with himself and probably feels you will leave him when you lose the weight
  • kimjoan
    kimjoan Posts: 192 Member
    You probably aren't going to like what I am going to say but you did ask... My initial guess would be that he has some insecurity issues. While he may be attracted to the "model" type he doesn't feel that he can get them. So, if you loose the weight and have a great body he thinks that you will dump him and he wants to get the jump on you. No one here can tell you want to do or not to do. But, if these shoes were on my feet I would tell him not to let the door hit him in the butt on his way out...
  • Melisha82
    Melisha82 Posts: 243
    Seriously if he threatens to dump you over something like this then he's not worth it. You're better off without him, trust me!
  • quara
    quara Posts: 255 Member
    To reiterate what I said before, if he's threatening to dump you because you want to do something good for your health, you don't need him! What else will he get you to do (or not do) by threatening to dump you? that is no way to have a mature relationship!! You are much better off without him.
  • GabrielMaestas
    GabrielMaestas Posts: 88 Member
    He sounds a little Bass Ackwards to me...
  • bullmastifflover
    bullmastifflover Posts: 128 Member
    Lose weight and take care of yourself...he won't dump you. Don't let him manipulate you like that.
  • Jacquelyn913
    Jacquelyn913 Posts: 300 Member
    He's going to dump you for losing weight? Let him, you're better off.



    Agreed, threatening to break up with you for trying to better yourself is completely idiotic. Sounds like hes trying to control you..
  • CarterGrt
    CarterGrt Posts: 289 Member
    I was reading another string of posts that might be applicable here. It could be that your boyfriend is insecure about your weight loss and thinks that you are losing the weight to attract somebody new. It might be worth a conversation with him and some assurance that you are doing this for you and not because your feelings for him have changed. I think it is worth taking the time to understand from where these feelings of his are coming. You might be surprised.

    Good Luck!!!

    --Carter
  • mallorybriann
    mallorybriann Posts: 1,380 Member
    Maybe he is insecure and thinks that you may dump him once you get "skinnier."
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Some guys are controlling and like when the girlfriend feels bad about herself. You know him better than we do... if he's that sort, dump him!
  • ckgis4me
    ckgis4me Posts: 25
    Could it be his own insecuritites and fears of you bettering yourself? I realize it is a personal thing to say, but when I was in my early twenties I modeled and my husband at the time was always trying to keep me from bettering myself. Anything that led to my own self improvement was another brick in the wall between him and me. Sometimes guys can't handle it. Good luck
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    Maybe he's just a jerk and is trying to find an excuse to break up. Just my two cents...If a guy (or anyone else for that matter) won't support you in this, you don't need him. Get healthy because you want to, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says.
  • shreddingit
    shreddingit Posts: 1,133 Member
    omg, hes just scared that your gonna look better than him and move on to something better!, you dont need that kind of people in your life!..you are very pretty!! Dale chica!!
  • jenrobyoung
    jenrobyoung Posts: 37
    I had a guy like that once, I let him go. If he doesn't want you to be the best version of yourself and happy with yourself then he is not worth your time. There is someone out there that will like you any way you are and be man enough to allow you to make changes that make you happy. For me the guy that didn't want me to loose wanted me hevey so no one else would want me. Just a note of warrning.
  • tammietifanie
    tammietifanie Posts: 1,496 Member
    Dump him ! If he can't support you on what you want in life then he isn't worth your time. The person you love should support you! NOT bring you down.
  • myukniewicz
    myukniewicz Posts: 906 Member
    Seriously if he threatens to dump you over something like this then he's not worth it. You're better off without him, trust me!

    agree 110%
  • lwyz_smln
    lwyz_smln Posts: 46
    Any man that would put a stipulation like that on your relationship does not truly care for you and isn't supporting you the way they truly should be. In the end, it is your decision. But, you are young and should not live your life constricted by what someone else wants. It is YOUR life and YOUR body and no one but yourself should be able to tell you what to do with it. :wink: Stay strong and keep focused on what you want.
  • nilisabel
    nilisabel Posts: 338
    he's being controlling. Also, just because he's good looking doesn't mean his arteries are in good shape. you actually begin heart disease at 15 years old. It is never too late to change, but the outside is never a good measure of a person's inside. a good man wants you to be the best version of yourself, not just there for him but a person with her own purpose who chooses to live her life alongside a great man. I went through many cycles before I found my husband. I wish you the best. Maybe your boyfriend will see your strength and confidence grow through this process, and maybe he will be awestruck by it and make his own changes for the better, maybe he won't. You deserve a good man and if he is that man it will shine through one day but I wouldn't waste my life next to a mere boyfriend because your life is too precious and short to waste alongside someone who isn't even committed (read: your husband - there is just something about until death do you part and what's mine is yours that separates the men from the boys). Much love and respect to you in this process.
  • crazyrun
    crazyrun Posts: 4 Member
    Ditto!! I agree with everyone! Your health is way more important!
  • Murphy3
    Murphy3 Posts: 32
    I would dump him!
  • whittrusty
    whittrusty Posts: 533 Member
    I'd beat him to the chase and dump him first. Take care of yourself; if you make life decisions based on a boyfriend, you'll regret it later.
  • lutzsher
    lutzsher Posts: 1,153 Member
    Unfortunately many partners only focus on how change will effect them, they fail to try to see it from any other point of view. You should NEVER let a partner try to tell you who to be, or use intimidation to try to get you to see their way. This is controlling and a form of abuse.
    No matter what your choices are you should have support , not sabotage. His ultimatum is unacceptable, you deserve better.
  • polo571
    polo571 Posts: 708 Member
    You do what you want and be who you want to be. If you find yourself single by looking at you im sure it wont be a problem getting a new suitor =)
  • Linasanz83
    Linasanz83 Posts: 11 Member
    OMG he is extremely insecure. mamaz you do it for yourself. he needs to check himself.
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
    I agree with the other posts and I will add (and I know that you will not like it), if you need to ask this website for help about your inmature and controlling boyfriend's attitude, in my opinion you are not too assertive and comfy in your own skin.

    You both need to have a serious talk because your relationship is going in the wrong direction.
  • baby81girl2003
    baby81girl2003 Posts: 79 Member
    He doesn't want u to lose weight because he is insecure with himself and probably feels you will leave him when you lose the weight

    Exactly! Dump his sorry *kitten* for say that. First it's losing weight....then what? "Don't dye you hair or I will leave you.....Don't go out with your gf's tonight or I will leave you." Blah blah blah. BU BYE Jerk.
  • Nataliethin81
    Nataliethin81 Posts: 315
    He's going to dump you for losing weight? Let him, you're better off.

    Exactly my thoughts..
  • sassy09
    sassy09 Posts: 17 Member
    Your better off without someone who is insecure. You will lose many pounds just getting rid of him:wink: . Don't tolerate it any longer you are better than that and you are fantastic :flowerforyou:
  • hahahollylol
    hahahollylol Posts: 160 Member
    dump him and be done with him...sorry hun but you don't need someone controlling you like that. :heart:
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