***UPDATE***My boyfriend doesn't like the new me HELP!!!

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  • Murphy3
    Murphy3 Posts: 32
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    I would dump him!
  • whittrusty
    whittrusty Posts: 533 Member
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    I'd beat him to the chase and dump him first. Take care of yourself; if you make life decisions based on a boyfriend, you'll regret it later.
  • lutzsher
    lutzsher Posts: 1,153 Member
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    Unfortunately many partners only focus on how change will effect them, they fail to try to see it from any other point of view. You should NEVER let a partner try to tell you who to be, or use intimidation to try to get you to see their way. This is controlling and a form of abuse.
    No matter what your choices are you should have support , not sabotage. His ultimatum is unacceptable, you deserve better.
  • polo571
    polo571 Posts: 708 Member
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    You do what you want and be who you want to be. If you find yourself single by looking at you im sure it wont be a problem getting a new suitor =)
  • Linasanz83
    Linasanz83 Posts: 11 Member
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    OMG he is extremely insecure. mamaz you do it for yourself. he needs to check himself.
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
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    I agree with the other posts and I will add (and I know that you will not like it), if you need to ask this website for help about your inmature and controlling boyfriend's attitude, in my opinion you are not too assertive and comfy in your own skin.

    You both need to have a serious talk because your relationship is going in the wrong direction.
  • baby81girl2003
    baby81girl2003 Posts: 79 Member
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    He doesn't want u to lose weight because he is insecure with himself and probably feels you will leave him when you lose the weight

    Exactly! Dump his sorry *kitten* for say that. First it's losing weight....then what? "Don't dye you hair or I will leave you.....Don't go out with your gf's tonight or I will leave you." Blah blah blah. BU BYE Jerk.
  • Nataliethin81
    Nataliethin81 Posts: 315
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    He's going to dump you for losing weight? Let him, you're better off.

    Exactly my thoughts..
  • sassy09
    sassy09 Posts: 17 Member
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    Your better off without someone who is insecure. You will lose many pounds just getting rid of him:wink: . Don't tolerate it any longer you are better than that and you are fantastic :flowerforyou:
  • hahahollylol
    hahahollylol Posts: 160 Member
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    dump him and be done with him...sorry hun but you don't need someone controlling you like that. :heart:
  • keta6atl
    keta6atl Posts: 45
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    leave him....
  • galvestongal
    galvestongal Posts: 186 Member
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    I am also borderline obese even now after losing weight. My husband is like your boyfriend, can eat anything and everything and still look great. Even from the start when I weighed 241 lbs he told me I didn't need to lose weight that I looked great to him. But I wanted to lose weight for the same reasons, not to be skinny but to be healthier and feel better. Now at 169 lbs I am still boderline obese, I am aiming for the upper portion of my healthy weight range. But he can't understand why I want to lose more weight. He even gets on to me for counting my cals on here and says I am obsessing over it by doing that. He insists that I look fine and don't need to lose more. But then I hear him make remarks about those borderline model girls or he makes a remark that someone else is big but they are the same size as me. If I say anything about it he brushes it off. I just have to speak my mind and do what is best for me. That's really all anyone can do. And I told him a long time ago, I know who I am and what is best for me to feel good and healthy and he has no room to tell me what I can or can't be. You do what is best for you! He can either stay or leave, the decision is his.
  • Hotlips69
    Hotlips69 Posts: 66
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    It sounds to me as though you BF is insecure, and wants control, 2 bad characteristics for sure. If he relly love dyou he would stand beside you encouraging you all the way!
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
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    So your boyfriend is against your wishes and dreams of being a healthier, happier person?

    That would be my answer right there :ohwell: :flowerforyou:
  • jamaka1
    jamaka1 Posts: 411 Member
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    he's not worth it, love urself 1st and take care of u. as everyone else says he's insecure and afraid of how good ur going to look. :drinker: celibrate
  • mapinkerton
    mapinkerton Posts: 147
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    Sweetheart, I am 55 years old. Let me tell you something about your boyfriend. He is an immature little boy and is afraid that when you get your hot body you will find someone else. Do yourself a favor - DUMP HIM! You can do better.

    Mary
  • nilisabel
    nilisabel Posts: 338
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    also, i agree with the person who said a conversation with your boyfriend is warranted, but i bet you're venting here because he is a selective listener. talk to him about this and tell him he is a good person, that you have no intention of leaving him when you look good but that you expect him to help you in this journey just as you will support him in his endeavors. He might surprise you.
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
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    I catch him looking at are boderline models??...

    To answer this question. Because he's a guy. Any guy you find will look at models, border line models, and any attractive woman, weather they're availible, or been married for 60 years. Women should get over that right now.

    If he honestly means what he means about you losing weight. Leave and forget about him. There are plenty of guys out there that don't act like that.
  • monkeybu
    monkeybu Posts: 34
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    Without knowing either of you, I suspect that this is a guy who prefers you to be less confident and feeling insecure about yourself. Perhaps when he first met you he was blown away by your confidence and glad to be with a girl who looked and felt fabulous, but now, down the track a bit, he doesn't want you attracting that much attention or feeling confident enough to walk away from a relationship that isn't the best? I have a gut feeling that your boyfriend has a low self esteem and is worried about you leaving him.

    Any way you look at it, this is extremely controlling behaviour and you should not tolerate it. Ask yourself if you are really that worried to lose a guy who wants to control you that way and doesn't have your happiness and well-being as a top priority - then tell him that you need to feel good about yourself again and that you want to be happy and healthy and if thats not what he wants then he should take a hike!
  • DENsilentquakeYSE
    DENsilentquakeYSE Posts: 49
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    Dump him ! If he can't support you on what you want in life then he isn't worth your time. The person you love should support you! NOT bring you down.

    Ditto!!! :flowerforyou: Do this, smile, and walk away with your head held high... Oh, as you walk away, do so quickly while you swing your arms and tighten your tummy with your chest out. This way the calories should burn a little more. :laugh:

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