People are dropping like flies

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  • JillyCornwall
    JillyCornwall Posts: 376 Member
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    For me, it was always the "diet" mindset that made me quit or give up.

    Now, I realized I was sabotaging myself. I have to be okay with days when I slip up and eat cake...that's life. But, it is a completely mental thing for me...so though I've been trying to lose weight for years, I've been terribly unsuccessful due to the diet mentality of an end to healthy eating. That is probably why most people leave.

    It's all different now for me and I'm so glad!


    Yes, yes, yes, well said, thats me exactly..only its taken me so much longer than you to realize it, last year I finally did....and now I've found this site I am hoping that this year will be so much easier!!
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
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    I'm going to admit that I was one of the NYR people. I gave up around a week in...I restarted a few times. I'm back today because I found myself crying in a store changeroom yesterday. I came back because I realized I'm the reason I don't look cute in cute sweaters :(

    I'm glad you came back. You don't deserve to feel badly about yourself! You deserve to love what you see in the mirror. You can do it! :)
  • kettlewitch
    kettlewitch Posts: 277 Member
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    I started on Jan 3rd and while it was kind of a new year thing it just so happened that my diabetes was diagnosed then. That said, I knew damn well I had it for at least a year before so maybe I subconsciously went for the test in december. If anything, now I'm in day 28, I'm more motivated than ever. The scales in week 2 and 3 were very erratic but I'm settled into what looks like a steady loss now so I think that's how my body works. I'd always give-up in week 3 because of this.

    I'd always viewed the gym as something I'd have to do for a few months and then could go back to normal. The difference this time is that "normal" was parking my fat bum on the sofa every evening and stuffing my face or necking wine and actually, I don't want that anymore. I wasn't even enjoying it any more and why would I want that again? I had no energy and felt rotten most of the time. Maybe for the people who have dropped out, they just haven't started hating their lives enough yet!
  • sarahTV
    sarahTV Posts: 65 Member
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    This site can be pretty daunting...especially for people who have a LONG road ahead of them. Trial and error are part of the experience. I actually joined months ago, but it took me putting all the pieces of the puzzle together to really gain momentum. I realized that I wouldn't have the opportunity to go to the gym (with 3 kids under the age of 6) so I bought a treadmill. Some people have to do some work on their real life before they can manage weight loss.

    They may come back, they may not, but you can try to encourage them to come back.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    Forum addiction certainly helps keep people around. And seeing all the success stories - from real people, not photoshopped models - is great inspiration and motivation.
  • nibor
    nibor Posts: 57 Member
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    It is widely accepted by physiologists that generally it takes about 28 days to change a habit. This means that you must live consciously for 4 weeks, deliberately focusing on whatever change it is that you wish to make. After the 4 weeks are up, the change is permanent. Great!
  • kettlewitch
    kettlewitch Posts: 277 Member
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    It is widely accepted by physiologists that generally it takes about 28 days to change a habit. This means that you must live consciously for 4 weeks, deliberately focusing on whatever change it is that you wish to make. After the 4 weeks are up, the change is permanent. Great!

    Bonus! I'm on day 28 today lol
  • wolf23
    wolf23 Posts: 4,178 Member
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    From my observation from both here and the fact I work at a gym, there are three main reasons people aim to lose weight. 1. They go to the doctor and get the crap scared out of them because the doctor tells them they are heading to an early grave. 2. They get disgusted in what they see in the mirror or a photograph. 3. They don't feel good physically walking up stairs, playing with their kids etc.

    I believe the reason many folks give up after a few weeks is 1. They have not either hit rock bottom in the "doctor scare" department and have not committed to change the lifestyle that got them there to begin with. 2. They have not hit rock bottom in the vanity department. 3. They are still getting around and functioning and it is hard to change.

    Making a committed physical lifestyle change requires a total makeover in the mental department. Until one sits down and is honest with themselves and figures out why and how they got there mentally and physically then they can then begin to make progress. There are a variety of reason why people remain unhealthy and the majority of them are self-inflicted.

    MFP is a perfect tool to make that transition with an abundance of information and social support but everyone's threshold is different and sadly you cannot help people who are not willing to help themselves.
  • Econonut
    Econonut Posts: 5
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    You need to keep in mind that these people may not be dropping off as much as they might not have the time to log on.
    I have lost 2 pounds since I started and I only had time to post it today. As a student, wife, and professional, it gets kinda difficult to come here every single day of the week.... But we try !!!!
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    Just remember before you delete friends just because they haven't been around for one week. That a lot of people are sick right now and might not be logging in for that reason. I always give people 2 months before i delete them from my friends list especially with the holidays. Unless you hit 250 friends and have no room in adding new active and encouraging friends here is no real reason to be hasty with the delete button. When you see someone that hasn't been on in awhile send them an encouraging message. Just like they are there to encourage you, you are also here to encourage them.
  • anna_b1
    anna_b1 Posts: 588 Member
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    Well said MissingMinnesota.

    I found MFP last year and logged on religiously for a while and then life happened and I lost sight of how important it was to work on myself. I'm back now as of January 3rd and it really isn't a new year's resolution type thing, but it is a coming back to me journey. I appreciate that a few of my old friends remained with me and sent me encouragement over the months and that I've found some incredible new friends who are with me cheering me on.

    I do think people like me drop off this site because doing this takes work and sometimes things in our life make it difficult to work on us or give us the time to work on ourselves. Sometimes family members get sick, sometimes friends go through difficult periods or sometimes we just get down on ourselves. All that matters in the end is that we don't give up on ourselves overall. In the end, if you're like me and noticed how awesome this site is, we'll find our way back.
  • dmisom79
    dmisom79 Posts: 112
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    I started this journey on the 4th of Jan. found this sight on the 13th of Jan. and have found that just this week I am tired of trying. I will keep going because as you said, I am worth doing this for. Am not sure what it is about going into that 4th week that makes it such a challenge to keep going, hopefully the 5th week will see me with a new attitude towards my weight loss. Thanks for posting, needed to here this.


    You're story is MY story! How cool. Keep it up! You can do it! Just stay focused and you'll make it through!

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