This is a bit of an adult topic

KristenAnn711

I won't get into details but I feel like since I've gained the weight things have fizzled out. My boyfriend is the same, but I just never want to, and it's starting to become a problem. Maybe this isn't the place, but I just feel like there has to be someone who can give me some kind of advice here.

eillamarie

Could it be that you're tired from working out so much? Or not getting enough nutrition? I've read that weightloss tends to do 1 of 2 things.....either revs it up or kills it.

leomom72

i think the longer you are in a relationship, the less exciting it gets..try adult stores, or watch "movies" together, to get new ideas..good luck

311Phil

my sex drive has gone through the roof since i began exercising regularly! My wife says im like a rabid dog, lol.

EmilyAnn89

i'm the same way, i don't like to undress because of how i look, so it kinda creates a problem lol... the best advice i have is try your best to be comfortable in your own skin. just keep pushing forward on your journey and by that time you will feel so good you'll forget all about how you are feeling now

merrillfoster

Do it anyway (but don't let him know you're not that into it). The more you do it the more you want it. Plus, sex burns cals!!!! And works weird muscles you didn't know you had (no, not just those! )!!!! I think if you just start doing it anyway you'll get back into it.

mlemonroe2

I have felt the same way. Try to find something that makes you feel sexy. Maybe a piece of clothing or getting your hair done or something like that. Light some candles, drink some wine. Good luck!!

kh0215

Make a specific time of the week for sex. and do it! endorphins are a great thing!! BTDT- introduce some "heightener" products. I had the same problems when I started an antidepressant.

My3Rayz

I feel the EXACT same way! I don't feel attractive and the thought of my jiggly parts flopping around sends me into a panic. Don't know what the solution is. I've kinda bit the bullet a few times but my heart wasn't in it. Feeling good about yourself will help put you in the mood!!!

britishstar41

I lost my drive when I gained the weight. I also had a baby, which messes with your hormones, but still. I'm in the same boat. I think once we start really losing and we feel better about ourselves and more comfortable with our bodies, things will pick up again.

godsgiftjcp

I think the same thing. But now that I have started to lose weight, I find myself wanting to have sex more and more. I think it was a lack of energy before. Once your energy level goes back up, I think you will be fine.

jenbk2

Could be you are not comfortable in your skin so you feel down and not wanting to do those things. I am the same way. I hope to get it back when I feel sexier.

311Phil

drink some wine.

THIS. we shared a bottle over the weekend....turned out to be a REALLY good night ;-)

KristenAnn711

Do it anyway (but don't let him know you're not that into it). The more you do it the more you want it. Plus, sex burns cals!!!! And works weird muscles you didn't know you had (no, not just those! )!!!! I think if you just start doing it anyway you'll get back into it.

That's what I do, but I just feel guilty that way.

Charcole

Every time I talk to my brother, who has a new girlfriend, he tells me he's lost another pound or two. I asked him, what are you doing differently. he said nothing really, just having sex more often. Sometimes several times a day he said. I guess it can make a difference.

swbmcknight

One of the common "side effects" of a low carb, high protein diet is loss of libido. VERY common.

Mrs_McFadden

Do it anyway (but don't let him know you're not that into it). The more you do it the more you want it. Plus, sex burns cals!!!! And works weird muscles you didn't know you had (no, not just those! )!!!! I think if you just start doing it anyway you'll get back into it.

^^^ This.

Fake it if you don't want it..like using training wheels. I think sex begats sex. Eventually you're going to get back to feeling more desire regularly if you treat it as a priority. I don't think couples should neglect this. I know sex isn't the *most* important thing..but I think it's like..the second most important thing IMO lol.

KristenAnn711

drink some wine.

THIS. we shared a bottle over the weekend....turned out to be a REALLY good night ;-)

I have a bottle in the fridge. That might do it.

mlemonroe2

Do it anyway (but don't let him know you're not that into it). The more you do it the more you want it. Plus, sex burns cals!!!! And works weird muscles you didn't know you had (no, not just those! )!!!! I think if you just start doing it anyway you'll get back into it.

Having sex when I don't want to makes me feel gross. This may not be the way to go. But it does burn calories!! Is that listed in the database??? I'm going to look

Cherrycandy

Nope, your normal. When I started gaining all this weight my sex drive weny wayyyyy down,and I have always had an abnormally high sex drive for a woman, so it kinda freaked me out. I just had no desire at all, and my husband is super good looking and I went to the doctor about it. He told me it was simply my weight.Period. He said that when you gain weight like I had, it literally kills your libido. I think as women too, we are always thinking im fat, he is gonna think im fat, my stomach isnt flat, im not sexy at all, and your mind is the biggest sexual organ. We know that men are visual, and we can be insecure and especially when we gain weight. We think, "God, im fat and I cant stand the way I look, so I know he doesnt like it either", and we end up talking ourselves right out of the mood. When you arent happy with the way you look, depression plays a big part in it too.

kps1104

I totally get it, I was the same way and still am at times. BUT when you start doing something good for yourself it shows and you then relate it towards him. Once I started working out and started to tone up (even if it is a little) I feel sexier and since I have lots a few lbs that I have been trying to lose forever and couldn't get past it, I felt way better about myself and hence I wanted to show him. I was confident So don't be too hard on yourself, I think we all go through it at one point or another, but do something for yourself, something that makes you feel good good luck!

mrjason

I had that issue once and it turned out that I really just wasn't into my girlfriend anymore. I thought it was because of my weight gain, but it turned out the weight gain was more due to my unhappiness with the relationship. Not implying you're in the same boat, but just sharing my experience. (and years in therapy it took me to "break free")

jtgill

When I gained weight (even though it was pregnancy related) my self confidence in that department went out the door which made me not interested nearly as much, mostly because I didn't think my hubby would find me as attractive if at all....Now that I have lost some weight I am back in the saddle and interested more often! Unfortunately though we have so much going on there is little time for us and when there is sleep is more important...Its a battle! lol I hope things get better for you!

2bfitforever

Your profile page says you moved in with your boyfriend's parents. Could that be part of it? A lot of people have good points here and it could be a combination of a few or all of them. Exercise will make you feel better about yourself and give you more energy so definitely workout. Your profile also says you want to be a runner. I am 43 yrs. old and just started running for the first time in my life. I suggest trying the Couch 2 5k program. Just google it and you can also dowload that or other similar program through iTunes to signal when to walk and when to run. You can get your exercise in AND spend time with your boyfriend. Good Luck!

KristenAnn711

Wow thanks for all the responses! I didn't realize so many people were in the same boat. I'll have to try the wine, and maybe find some kind of clothing that makes me feel good.

Annista

I can relate, losing the added weight has made me feel sexy again and I enjoy it way more!!! Try not tobe self conscience though because you can ask a man and they all say that they reallly don't notice the fat they focus on the 2 main areas, lol

mlemonroe2

Having sex when I don't want to makes me feel gross. This may not be the way to go. But it does burn calories!! Is that listed in the database??? I'm going to look
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It's not lol!!

barefootbeautiful

I think it depends on why you've lost your drive. If it's because you're tired from exercising (or cutting extensive calories/protein), then maybe you could use it as a warm-up before workout. If your sex life generally happens at the same time (before bed, etc.), maybe changing that schedule will help.

If it's because of a body issue, then that's something you'll have to examine. Make an effort to do something that makes YOU feel good - fixing your hair or doing your nails, buying a new negligee.... And remember that body issues aren't just a woman thing. Try complimenting HIM, telling him something really specific you like about his body, and you'll probably get one in return. Trading those little compliments, especially the specific ones, can do a lot for your ego... and libido!

velix

there was an Oprah episode (years ago) about weight gain and sex drive, and part of the decrease in drive is related to body mass and blood flow among other physiological issues.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=56044

and of course, there is the emotional / mental side of things such as body image (that was my problem) and self-esteem / confidence issues ... if possible, be open about your reasons with your partner - I knew in my couple, we didn't talk about it as I gained weight, and it became a source of tension, which didn't help the lack of desire.

Working out sure does wonders for one's libido - it increases blood flow, endorphines (sp?), and many other benefits both physical and mental -

Good luck!

KristenAnn711

I think I need to do some shopping And maybe a hair do. I've had the same one forever and its just so BLAH

FearAnLoathing

My problem is I want it and cant have it.Untill our lease is up in 2 months our 3 yr old daughter sleeps in the room with us.definatly a mood killer.she is a really light sleeper a mouse could fart in the kitchen next door and she wakes up.it really really sucks:sad: :sad: :sad: