This is a bit of an adult topic

24

Replies

  • ♥jewelchristian♥
    ♥jewelchristian♥ Posts: 3,666 Member
    my sex drive has gone through the roof since i began exercising regularly! My wife says im like a rabid dog, lol.

    Do you foam at the mouth too? *Giggle* I'm kidding, sorry.
  • jimmydeanbakker
    jimmydeanbakker Posts: 333
    I won't get into details but I feel like since I've gained the weight things have fizzled out. My boyfriend is the same, but I just never want to, and it's starting to become a problem. Maybe this isn't the place, but I just feel like there has to be someone who can give me some kind of advice here.

    If you want the sleek, sexy body then eat less calories, exercise, and look at yourself in a positive way. You can lose all the weight you wanna lose, but still have a negative body image. If you simply need to lose a few pounds to be happy about your body, then don't hesitate to do it.
  • KariQuiteContrary
    KariQuiteContrary Posts: 274 Member
    Do it anyway (but don't let him know you're not that into it). The more you do it the more you want it. Plus, sex burns cals!!!! And works weird muscles you didn't know you had (no, not just those! ;))!!!! I think if you just start doing it anyway you'll get back into it.

    That's what I do, but I just feel guilty that way.

    Agreed!. I use to "just do it anyways" with my ex husband. Honestly made the whole thing worse and ended up with me not only feeling guilty but used as well. Guys aren't entirely stupid....eventually they'll get the fact that you're not into it and may even be upset that you tried to fake it...or...like my ex, not care and do it anyway just cause he wanted it. Either way...no win.

    For females sex tends to be more a mental thing. That's why the weight gain has had so much an affect on yours. And YES I felt the same way. My discomfort with my body made it impossible for me to enjoy. Once you start to drop the weight and the boyfriend notices....you'll be surprised how much it'll rev up your sex life! My boyfriend and I of 4 years had a fabulous sex life before but I've noticed that as my weight loss and toning becomes more noticeable (only 16 lbs thus far)....the 'romps' (if you will) are more frequent (by my choice lol) and leave me with even more to smile about because I'm in a more positive mental state now. Sex toys, 'movies', and role play are fun but.....can do nothing for you if you don't first change your mind. Don't worry. It will happen :)
  • KristenAnn711
    KristenAnn711 Posts: 783
    If you want the sleek, sexy body then eat less calories, exercise, and look at yourself in a positive way. You can lose all the weight you wanna lose, but still have a negative body image. If you simply need to lose a few pounds to be happy about your body, then don't hesitate to do it.

    I am in the process of losing weight. I'm doing 2 of jillian michaels dvd's. Wish it would happen overnight haha
  • kevanos
    kevanos Posts: 304 Member
    Bring a vibrator bed too, that always adds some fun.
  • lilmissy2
    lilmissy2 Posts: 595 Member
    I'm honestly surprised to hear people say 'fake it'. Maybe I'm a selfish fiance - but I think it's unhealthy in a relationship to be doing things because I feel I have to (not to mention kind of gross when you think about it). If I need time without sex to process my emotions then I explain that to him and take as long as I need. If he denied me that, I don't think I'd still be in the relationship.
  • KristenAnn711
    KristenAnn711 Posts: 783
    Bring a vibrator bed too, that always adds some fun.

    wow right to it. no inuendos here.
  • dothompson
    dothompson Posts: 1,184 Member
    Do it anyway (but don't let him know you're not that into it). The more you do it the more you want it. Plus, sex burns cals!!!! And works weird muscles you didn't know you had (no, not just those! ;))!!!! I think if you just start doing it anyway you'll get back into it.

    That's what I do, but I just feel guilty that way.

    There isn't any reason to feel guilty. Which is a more loving act, making love only when you feel like it, or making love sometimes simply because your partner would like it? I would bet that often even though you didn't feel like it beforehand, after the fact you had a good time and were glad you did.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    I'm just going to say your guy doesn't care that you gained weight, and still finds u sexy and would be happy anytime/anyplace to have sex
    You need to feel good about yourself..sexy....even though u may not be at your goal weight, buy a cute outfit, outfit for the bedroom that makes u feel good
    It could also be a sign of other things going on outside the bedroom?
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    Bring a vibrator bed too, that always adds some fun.

    *just spit my tea out at the computer screen*
    LOL
    :glasses: :drinker:
  • live2smyle
    live2smyle Posts: 592 Member
    My problem is I want it and cant have it.Untill our lease is up in 2 months our 3 yr old daughter sleeps in the room with us.definatly a mood killer.she is a really light sleeper a mouse could fart in the kitchen next door and she wakes up.it really really sucks:sad: :sad: :sad:
    No way would I let that stop me... Shower, Trail, Beach, Car....You get the idea...:tongue:
  • KristenAnn711
    KristenAnn711 Posts: 783
    Bring a vibrator bed too, that always adds some fun.

    *just spit my tea out at the computer screen*
    LOL
    :glasses: :drinker:


    Haha I know:blushing:
  • mama_mia3
    mama_mia3 Posts: 66
    There's this cream called Nympho Niagra...lol...you rub it on your 'doorbell' and it helps the mood/arousal. Google it. If I remember correctly "Slumber Party" sells it.
  • jimmydeanbakker
    jimmydeanbakker Posts: 333


    I am in the process of losing weight. I'm doing 2 of jillian michaels dvd's. Wish it would happen overnight haha

    Look at losing weight, staying fit, and eating right as a lifetime goal. This doesn't mean that you cannot splurge every once in awhile, but the majority of time you should live a life that includes fitness; otherwise, you'll gain the weight back after you lose it. The majority of people in any fitness program are experts at losing weight, but only a few know how to keep it off.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    There's this cream called Nympho Niagra...lol...you rub it on your 'doorbell' and it helps the mood/arousal. Google it. If I remember correctly "Slumber Party" sells it.

    'doorbell' is a new one..LOL
    another tip, even if you don't think u are in the mood......you will be surprised what some innocent hand holding/kissing can become...
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    My problem is I want it and cant have it.Untill our lease is up in 2 months our 3 yr old daughter sleeps in the room with us.definatly a mood killer.she is a really light sleeper a mouse could fart in the kitchen next door and she wakes up.it really really sucks:sad: :sad: :sad:
    No way would I let that stop me... Shower, Trail, Beach, Car....You get the idea...:tongue:


    Just moved to a new town and dont know anyone so no babysitter,due to past experiance i do not use daycare
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
    I believe it can be either you are woking yourself too hard and giving your body enough rest to recoop or you are not feeding it the appropriate calories. I think for most part many have an increas in drive however any of the above problems can affect that. As for the longer you are in a relationship, the less exciting it gets I disagree. I have been married for 13 years going on 14 and never has it gotten bad! :wink:
  • Kristen81
    Kristen81 Posts: 342 Member
    This has happened to me as well. But, the more I exercise, the more attractive and confident I feel. Also, since I'm not so thrilled with my body right now, I like to buy lingerie from Victoria's Secret..it makes me feel sexy and my Husband also enjoys it.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    There's this cream called Nympho Niagra...lol...you rub it on your 'doorbell' and it helps the mood/arousal. Google it. If I remember correctly "Slumber Party" sells it.

    ive tried something simlar it works
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    There's this cream called Nympho Niagra...lol...you rub it on your 'doorbell' and it helps the mood/arousal. Google it. If I remember correctly "Slumber Party" sells it.

    ive tried something simlar it works
  • edryer123
    edryer123 Posts: 502 Member
    I had the same problem when I was at my heaviest. I had absolutely no interest in sex whatsoever. Didn't help that my fiance had gained weight too. As soon as I started losing the weight it came back. One thing I do to help me feel better after doing my jillian dvds is I put on some of my favorite music that makes me feel good while I shower and dance in the shower. Don't know why but it just puts me in the right head space (maybe it reminds me of when I was younger and thinner). You just gotta find what works for you right now and keep searching for new ways to feel sexy for yourself and your significant other will get to reap the benefits.
  • rockabyesarojane
    rockabyesarojane Posts: 471
    One of the common "side effects" of a low carb, high protein diet is loss of libido. VERY common.


    ah!!! scary!

    i'll be needing al ist of aprhodisiacs stat!!
  • SheliaN1960
    SheliaN1960 Posts: 454 Member
    That happened to me. A trainer at the gym mentioned that some foods will take your drive away!! When you lose the drive and then you are not happy with yourself it can be a bad combination. It is crazy how your weight can effect so many things. ??Hang in there and maybe trying some items to help will work until you can get yourself back on track!! Exercise can help for alot of things. When I started MFP and exercising my husband can not believe how I have changed. Best wishes to you!
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    Yeah faking won't really take care of the problem (more like foster resentment.....on both sides eventually), and what you're hearing is right, it's more of a mental issue than anything else. Exercise/working out/etc will boost your confidence and bring back the "can do" attitude, but there is also truth to outside factors that mess up what goes on in the bedroom. Also, and keep this in mind, he's with you for a reason, and the mental connection between you two is more important than the physical when it comes to that. It's probably more you feeling not good enough about yourself to deserve "quality time". You'll get there, just gotta figure out why the train has derailed \m/
  • ksludwig
    ksludwig Posts: 309 Member
    I would say if you are uncomfortable with your body, this could translate to being intimate. If you don't feel good about your self, how can you feel comfortable/confident with your boyfriend. I think as you start to see results in your weight loss, your drive will come back. :wink:
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
    I have been feeling the same way lately. I'm too young to feel this way and my boyfriend is even younger so it's hard on him (no pun intended). I am fitter than I have been in over a year but I fizzle. I do have one thing that works for me. Ready for it? ...

    youporn. Yep, I love youporn. It's free and it's hot. Porn is NOT strictly a male thing, ladies. :smokin:
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    One of the common "side effects" of a low carb, high protein diet is loss of libido. VERY common.


    ah!!! scary!

    i'll be needing al ist of aprhodisiacs stat!!

    Not for all low carbers
    I feel my best when I eat low carb...when I start screwing up liek I have been recently in the diet dept I feel instantly heavier/thicker and crappier about myself for giving into to junky/crappy food
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
    One of the common "side effects" of a low carb, high protein diet is loss of libido. VERY common.

    Personal experience? When I was doing Atkins years ago I had the opposite experience. Could be a male/female thing but low carb didn't affect me in any way other than wanting it more, all the time.
  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
    Every time I talk to my brother, who has a new girlfriend, he tells me he's lost another pound or two. I asked him, what are you doing differently. he said nothing really, just having sex more often. Sometimes several times a day he said. I guess it can make a difference.

    sevearl times a day my *kitten* - your brother lies LOL
  • skinnylizzard
    skinnylizzard Posts: 460 Member
    One of the common "side effects" of a low carb, high protein diet is loss of libido. VERY common.
    I'm dieting that way and I don't have any problems, in fact I don't get enough!
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