The "FLAME DOLLS" (Menopause Support Group)
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Still regular as clock work, but get all the lovely menopause symptoms, doesn't seem fair to have to put up with both. The worst is the creeping weight gain in my middle. UGH. Never had a belly, don't like it. Hormones, ya I'm on 'em. Not much help. Wouldn't mind as much except that my whole face turns red and people want to know why i am embarrassed. And my poor cold natured husband--don't even think about cuddling--get your 98.6 degrees away from me in the summer, winter his hands are like ice and they feel good.0
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Hi I'm Stephanie, and am 50 years old. Things started to go a bit wonky in my late forties, by the time I hit 46 or so the hot flashes came on full force. Now it is just the occasion night sweat; glad to be through the worst of it. The weight started to creep up at about the same time as the hot flashes. I also felt very sleep deprived, and maybe got a good nights sleep every third night. The slower metabolism, and probably a need to find an escape from the symptoms contributed to my 25 pound weight gain. No HRT for me, and no periods for about three years.
No tears for me, I feel great about my journey, and am embracing the older more settled me. I recently started learning to workout with kettlebells, and own by own cleaning business where I am on the move all day long. I am excited about my future, and no longer am quaking at the thought of menopause. I guess I have resigned myself to the fact that losing weight from here on out will be a battle. I'm putting on my armor, because I am not going down with a fight.
Good luck flame dolls, and stay positive!!0 -
Hi Flame Dolls,
It's great to read your posts and your stories. One thing that has interested me as several have mentioned this are sleep problems. I don't think it is a separate issue. I am coming to the conclusion that it's part of the package. Lack of good sleep is also a major contribution to weight gain. I know it is with me. When I'm tired I can't help but reach for sugary foods to give me that instant lift to get me through the day. It's a vicious circle. If I am blessed with an 8hr night I feel incredible, so full of energy and vitality. The trouble is I can't remember the last time it happened.
My usual sleep pattern is to wake probably 2 - 3 times a night. Sometimes I lie awake for 30 mins - hour before I get back to sleep. I read somewhere that the worst thing you can do is to get up so instead of lying there getting bored I put headphones on (so I don't disturb my husband) and listen to the radio. It kind of works, I'm over the worry about strangling myself with the headphone cords LOL
How do you cope? Any tips?
All the best. :-)0 -
Good morning Flame Dolls!
Okay, don't think I"ve lost more of my postmenopausal mind than I already have, but I was thinking this morning while walking, our lifestyle changes we are adapting is kinda like spring. Everything slowly evolving and coming to life. One day I walk I see buds on the trees, another day I might notice a daffodil or a robin. It is like a new awakening or at least it is for me. It's like I"ve eaten to hibernate and now it's time to wake up, come to life and shed those excess pounds. Every day I know there will be something new I learn, a new self awareness, I'm excited!
I noticed yesterday that I usually go just over the carb recommendations, so today I am going to focus on cutting making some lower carb choices. One thing I've been doing at times is just to quick add calories of something I'm having, but is not in the choices provided. Is there a way to enter not only the calories, but the carb, sodium, etc. content?
What is your focus today?
Terry0 -
My usual sleep pattern is to wake probably 2 - 3 times a night. Sometimes I lie awake for 30 mins - hour before I get back to sleep. I read somewhere that the worst thing you can do is to get up so instead of lying there getting bored I put headphones on (so I don't disturb my husband) and listen to the radio. It kind of works, I'm over the worry about strangling myself with the headphone cords LOL
How do you cope? Any tips?
All the best. :-)
Lack of sleep is just killer - I'm a 7 hour person. I need my 7 hours just in order to function at a base level! I never, ever get up if I wake up because I'm one of those practical people that think "Well, since I'm up, I may as well do [name your chore]" and then I'll get engrossed in something and never get back to sleep!
This is going to sound hokey, but bear with me: our family is Catholic, so when I was young and couldn't sleep, my Dad would always just hand me a rosary and tell me to just start reciting in my head (for those of you unfamiliar with the rosary, they are essentially prayer beads - once around is 5 sets of 13 repetitious prayers, plus a few more - over 65 prayers in all!). Sometimes it would take me several times around the rosary before I got back to sleep, however, I knew even then that the idea was to stop all other chatter in my head and bore me to sleep! In college I took this idea to heart and came up with my own 'trigger' for falling asleep any time that I needed to - I had to work while in college, so I was very sleep deprived much of the time. I picked out certain words that seemed soothing to me, closed my eyes and just repeated the words over and over in my head in a very slow, soothing way. Very quickly, this became a 'trigger', telling my body that it is time to go to sleep and I can use it any time that I need to go to sleep, return to sleep or catch a quick nap. It's exactly like a meditation and will take some nightly practice to make it work - other words or thoughts will enter your mind and you have to just dismiss them and focus on repeating your mantra words again. Eventually, with enough practice and success, you can make it an automatic trigger for your body that it's time to go to sleep.
Just as an aside - my Dad confided to me not too long ago that he employed the same method for getting to sleep, also when he was in college - and he still uses his mantra every night to fall asleep - and so do I!
Anyway - thought this might help you!0 -
After trying EVERYTHING on my own for awhile, I actually got a little sleep help from my doctor in the form of 10mg of Elavil a couple of years ago. I didn't want anything hardcore like Ambien or Lunesta...that stuff scares me. He called it the "little old ladies' sleeping pill" because that's what he prescribes for older...like older than us...women. I don't take it that often since I get what I call a sleep hangover the next day...all groggy, slow, etc. But every once in awhile after a particularly bad stretch of sleep, or for an overnight flight when I want to sleep, I'll take one.
I was having trouble going back to sleep for awhile. But I tend to be able to roll right over these days. Now if I could just STAY asleep!! I spoke with my doctor about it at my last check up and he did say that some of it is a function of life today. We are overworked, stressed, and stretched too thin. Our minds are going a mile a minute. I'm in the metro DC area and he said it's a common complaint among men and women in these parts. My husband has sleep issues as well.
Flame on ladies!!0 -
Morning!
Yeah, sleep issues big for me too. Just like mmtiernan, I use a mala (much like a rosary) and I have a mantra and I've trained my mind to use it as a sleep trigger. It's really peaceful, and I love it - some times it is easy and sometimes not so much.
Much of it is also ties in with what is going on with other family members - my daughter of course had to pick my menopause transitioning years to really frustrate me with what teen age daughters do to their moms. Really shook me up! I thought I was going crazy. :explode: I really would lay in bed I think I was gonna explode!!
I suppose loss of focus and not being able to think of the word I'm trying to say at the time I want to say it, is really frustrating too. I'm watching my mom's mind slip away a little (she's 80) and I fear that is my destiny too.
At first she was angry and frustrated and we'd sort of tippey toe around her. Now she sorta teases herself about it and we just repeat things and laugh along with her....pretty good way to deal with it.
I just try to really work my mind with games that involve remembering - spider solitare is on my cell phone and one of my favorites - high score 2105! And, now that daughter is finally gotten past her mean-ager years and nightsweats have slowed way down, I do sleep peacefully and think more clearly. So for me they are both related - lack of sleep and focus issues.
I suppose what gets me through it all is finding, what I like to call, "God in drag". It does my heart good to see how life's events line up and work out, it gives me a spiritual boost. So, while I know this is always here - I'm on a misson to seek and find today!
:flowerforyou:0 -
Sleep issues... me too. It just started about a month ago and it took awhile for it to dawn on me that it wasn't just excitement about a trip, or being in a hotel, or being sick, or drinking too much green tea, or not getting enough exercise... I had insomnia. Duh.
I also had hot flashes (not sweats... yet) and noticed my heart rate and blood pressure would elevate during the hot flashes. I've taken my blood pressure so many times over the past month that I can now tell within a few points where it is just by glancing at the veins on my hand, LOL!
The hot flashes during the day don't bother me. I call them my "personal summers" and carry on. They don't "bother" me at night either except that I'm sure they're related to the insomnia. That's getting annoying.
I've been on melatonin for months but it hasn't helped at all. I just switched to a different brand and a higher dosage last night. I just started using the Estroven night stuff last night too. I did sleep better - only woke up twice - and got about twice as much sleep as the night before.
I'm going to keep experimenting with it and see what happens.0 -
I am 6-7 hours being best but I too have issues getting asleep and staying asleep. Sometimes it makes me so frustrated that I do get up cause I get too crazy laying there yearning to sleep.
General sleep aids:
Bedroom is for sleep (and sex
) but not for TV, computer, etc.
No heavy foods 2 hours before sleep
good activity level during day, no napping
consistency of sleep schedule
I try to avoid working double cause that totally screws my cycle up but I think sleep issues are just a part of the menopausal crap!
At least we have each other, my mom told me nothing of this. Actually when I started having periods @ 10 I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I believed sanitary pads were mouse mattresses as a younger child because that is what my mother told me :0. Thank goodness I have a better rapport with my daughter!0 -
I believed sanitary pads were mouse mattresses as a younger child because that is what my mother told me :0. Thank goodness I have a better rapport with my daughter!
:laugh: I know it's not really a laughing matter but thank goodness your daughter is better informed!0 -
Another thing to avoid before bedtime is exercise. You would have thought that working out in the evening like so many of us have to do, would tire you out so that you sleep better. No so! I find that after a hard workout I'm literally buzzing - must be those endorphins we hear so much about that I find sleep almost impossible until I've calmed down/cooled down. Exercise at night can be counter-productive! 0
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:flowerforyou: Hi - My name is Cathy - I am 48 and had a hysterectomy at 32 - I was left with one ovary and then that one got a cyst - so had to have the cyst taken off which left me half - I guess by now that has schrivelled up (lol)
I gave up smoking on the 12th May 2010 and have put on around 30kgs - I think 15 of it was from rewarding myself with food (after 32 years of smoking I told myself I deserved that cream filled kitchener bun!!!! (I'm talking EVERY day that was my TREAT?????) Even writing that it sounds INSANE!!!! And I think the other 15kg was just from menopause - especially around the tummy area
I have always been small, petite, thin, never had a weight problem but being only 5ft 1 and half inches tall it doesn't take much to look overweight !!!!!
I am so glad to find MFP and now this suppport group - Thank you for starting it - I need the support - still have 19kgs to go not even half way there yet but I feel very determined to get to my goal weight and stay there for LIFE - please feel free to ADD me as a friend and I will be only too happy to support you too - Good luck - believe in yourself - 0 -
This is awesome! I am bumping to come back to this a bit later. Today is simply too busy but tomorrow I will read through the rest of the thread!
Thanks for posting this and , I too, LOVE the name!
Donna0 -
Bump - This is great - Will be back later!!0
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Another thing to avoid before bedtime is exercise. You would have thought that working out in the evening like so many of us have to do, would tire you out so that you sleep better. No so! I find that after a hard workout I'm literally buzzing - must be those endorphins we hear so much about that I find sleep almost impossible until I've calmed down/cooled down. Exercise at night can be counter-productive!
I wondered if this might be part of my problem so I tried cutting out my evening walk. Doesn't seem to matter with me. So far the only thing that's helped me sleep is Tylenol PM... not a viable long term option, obviously.0 -
I'm sitting on an ice pack at work because of a hot flash, my boss walks up to hand me a paper, sees the ice pack, and just grins.0
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Another thing to avoid before bedtime is exercise. You would have thought that working out in the evening like so many of us have to do, would tire you out so that you sleep better. No so! I find that after a hard workout I'm literally buzzing - must be those endorphins we hear so much about that I find sleep almost impossible until I've calmed down/cooled down. Exercise at night can be counter-productive!
I actually don't have any problem sleeping after exercise. In fact some of my best night's sleep have come after 5+ mile runs in the evening. Guess I'm a bit weird that way. But I still have 2-3 hours before bed time and usually take a nice warm shower right before bed...which supposedly helps w/sleep.
I think I have a bigger issue w/eating big meals late at night. Since we go to the gym in the evening, it's usually about 830 before we eat. I try to keep it light during the week: maybe a piece of chickn or fish and a veggie. In the winter it's soup or chili.0 -
I am right there with you all. I am 51 and had a hysterectomy at 30. I had my uterus and one ovary removed. Now I am in menopause. I have not slept well for years now tossing and turning and waking up all night. If I get 4-5 hours sleep a night that is a good night and I think my body is paying the price! I also have the mood swings, hot flashes and everything else that goes with menopause. The most annoying part is the weight gain. I never had a problem with it before but that has all changed. I just recently went to the doctor who prescribed hrt. I haven't started them yet ( I am not real big fan of medicine to fix things ) but I am seriously considering taking them. I am very frustrated right now. I am loving all the stories and support of this site! Keep up all the great work ladies.........and FLAME ON!!!!!0
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A warm thank you to all the Dolls who have shared their stories, offered kind advice and supported.
Always room for more!!!
Share what you'd like to accomplish now that you are in your flaming years!
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Hi, I thought I would chime in as I have a bit of time right now.
I am 46, almost 47 and an early starter for peri-menopause. It all started around age 44. At first I thought I was having panic attacks. Even my MD said I was too young to be going through "the change" but I am now convinced that this is what it is! If I am mensturating I feel a bit more normal but if I go two or three months or more (I have gone as long as 9 months) then the hot-flashes and night sweats begin. Recently, a new symptom has appeared...crying!
YUCK!! I am Austrian by heritage and we are NOT cry-ers!!! :grumble: My family just knows now that my clothes seem to go on then go off then go on. That one minute I can be beet red and sweating and then the next be freezing. They just smile!
There are some things that if I am taking them regularly do seem to help me a bit.
At night I take Melatonin. I have a dual release on so that not only does it help me fall asleep but it kicks in again after about 3 hours when I would tend to wake up and lets me get a good 7 hours, sometimes I can sleep even longer! I can't take that every night as I don't always have time to sleep that long.
I do take Sleep Essentials from Swanson. That does seem to help me sleep better but without the extreme of the melatonin.
A have also tried the black cohosh for hot flashes and it really does seem to decrease the number and severity. The one I am using right now is by Planetary Herbals and is their Wild Yam - Black Cohosh Complex.
I just got Suzanne Summer's book from the library and she is really big on the Bio-identical hrt. If I were to do HRT it would ONLY be bio-identical but like @merriedawn, I am not sure I want to go there.
My goal is to move into this new phase as gracefully as possible but the truth is instead of embracing it I am fighting it everystep of the way! :laugh:
I am very happy to add this thread to my daily check ins. I really need this type of support right now.
D0 -
:flowerforyou:0
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Well, here goes. I'm 51 and this winter really did me in. I had a partial hysterectomy in 1993 after having toxic shock. Weight has never been a issue. I am 4'8" so any weight looks chubby, but I was within a pound or two all the time.
My husband battled cancer the winter of 2009 and I quit work to take care of him and drive to all the doctor appointments. Once he won the battle (just had his one year anniversary of being in remission...Thank The Lord) I took over caring for my two grandchildren full time. Yes, I'm one of those who takes care of everyone else.....not myself.
The hot flashes started last summer, those I can handle. But the night sweats are terrible. If I get to sleep 3 hours straight without one....well, that's considered a good night. I can't tell you the last time I slept a whole night. So over the winter I slept less, felt down about not returning to work, even if my daughter does NEED me to babysit (and she pays a little each week) and stayed in more with the cold Pennsylvania weather. Is there such a thing as the stay at home Grammy blues??? Once in a while I get a mood swing that leads to tears, but not that often. If only I could sleep!! LOL
My youngest, of four, is graduating from high school in June and I want the weight off. There will be all kinds of family get togethers as neices and nephews also graduate. I got out my summer shorts Thursday when I was putting some sweaters away(none of which I wore this winter with always being warm)....I got in them, but just barely. I refuse to buy new clothes, I know I can get the weight off.
I've only just started, but already made a friend. She has already started to encourage me. The great thing about this site is nobody judges, we're all a work in progress. Thank You!!0 -
:flowerforyou:
Hi Pixie - I can really relate to your night sweats and lack fo sleep.....yuck. They really will pass eventually.
Very good news about your hubby - I wish him and you continued health
I'm on the same page too with last summers clothes.....I don't want to buy or sew new wardrobe now either, unless of course the size goes DOWN!! Thank you Flame Doll pixie!!!! 0 -
My night sweats aren't so bad any more - could they *finally* be winding down? One can only hope! Although lately I have been waking up several times per night for no good reason that I can find - what is up with that? I need my sleep!!
I found this online and thought about getting one: http://bedfan.com/ Just thought I'd pass it along in case anyone else might be interested. Heck, if it makes you sleep better, I'm all for it!
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Just checked out the bedfan - that is very interesting....... 0
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Just checked out the bedfan - that is very interesting.......
I thought it looked interesting, too - considered it seriously, but I'm just not so sure that I'd like a constant breeze blowing up my skirt all night, ya know?? :P0 -
I thought it looked interesting, too - considered it seriously, but I'm just not so sure that I'd like a constant breeze blowing up my skirt all night, ya know?? :P
yeah - I thought about that too....vaginal dryness.....no thanks!0 -
Julia,
Thank you for adding me as a friend, and for starting this post. It most certainly is appropriate for me, I think. It is great to know, I am not the only one who is crying @ the drop of a hat, stupid commercials, walking across the room, 4 inches of snow in the midwest last night, after 2 days of 85 degree weather!!
Today more fun, though, staying inside and using the video game system for exercise. Playing against my hubby, it's great fun! Exercise and competition, (friendly of course!)
Also, clear liquids today for a medical test tomorrow, yeeech!!
Am looking for others to add as a friend, I have a very long journey ahead of me. I need to loose @ least another person of weight, and incorporate exercise as a lifelong change. I have always hated everything exercise, except swimming, even hate going outside! I would go sit outside to read...So, have started to add little by little. have gone to my jobs gym, had a personal trainer help me with exercise routine and goals (he didn't laugh or anything, and I was petrified to go!) So I think I am well on my way.
I don''t have an opportunity to post everyday, but will post as often as possible. :laugh:0 -
Yuck! I am having a hot flash right now! LOL!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I can tell this is going to be a fun thread!
D0 -
Just wanted to let you all know that it looks like there's light at the end of my "hot flash tunnel". I'm 58, and for the past few months it seems like the hot flashes are getting fewer and fewer. For the past 10 years I've joked, "I'm always too warm, so if I'm cold, the room/weather is REALLY chilly." I don't know if the weight loss has anything to do with it or not, but I'm very happy to not have them many times a day. Maybe by the time I reach my goal weight I'll have to turn the heat up during the winter.0
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