Quit blaming your kids!

frostiegurl

People in here can be so judgemental of others. My philosophy is if it works for you, then fine. If someone expresses a frustration about their life we are so quick to turn on them instead of lifting them up.

My wife and I have each lost over 60 lbs each. Our kids have always eaten okay, but they do have sugared cereal. We do push the whole grain cereals and have taught them portion control and moderation. All 3 of our children are average height and weight. They are not as active as they should be, but mostly because we live in a place that does not have a yard.

It just takes self-control on my wife and my part in order to not eat their food, but we do okay.

Fire away

I don't think anyone was trying to come off as being judgmental in regards to people who allow children and themselves the occasional treat. I think the OP's point was to call out the parents who were using their kids as an excuse for why they are unable to eat healthy and have to keep a house stocked full of unhealthy foods. Of course YMMV but that's what I got out of it.

My post on the last page was basically illustrating that regardless of the myriad crap foods found in any one household, it is possible to live a healthy life.

MsLilly200

The only way to blame your kid for your obesity that I can see is if they like, bought you a big box of chocolate every day after school... But that's not very likely is it? And even if that was the case, it's your own fault for eating it, and not telling them that "Mommy/daddy's trying to cut back on candy darling, why don't you save that money and buy a shiny new toy in stead?"

Aaanyways, people who lay the blame on their kids are pretty stupid.

Lisa__Michelle

This reminds me of a tv show... I think it was "I Used to be Fat." The 17 year old 300+ pound girl's trainer told the mother (VERY obese as well) that they needed to throw out the cookies, chips, candies, crackers, etc. and they were going to go shopping for healthier food. Basically, he said if it is not there they would not eat it. Well, the mother said, "I can't throw out these cookies and chips because her 6 year old sibling needs these. I can't punish him/her too." WTF! Do you know how bad I was screaming at the t.v.?? She thought it was punishment to eat healthy and support your kids. She didn't take one second to think about the fact that the 6 year old would one day be walking in his/her sister's footsteps because of the mom!

JE55Y

What are Little Debbies?

frostiegurl

What are Little Debbies?

These

JE55Y

What are Little Debbies?

These

Wow! Thanks.. never heard of them before. It's not something we have in England.

LillysGranny

meh, guess I will be the first to say, all is well in moderation. My daughter gets some processed poision every now and again. does that mean I blame her? um no. I feel like the opposite of what some have said, becuase of the way MY mother was... with being so strict, no snacks, no junk, is the reason I ate the way I did, I was a junk food junkie, I would get it in wherever and whenever I could becuase I was never allowed it growing up... SO one of the new things for me is live it in moderation. I think if we allow moderate "unhealthy" snacking, then we teach our children about healthy choices, and that a "bad snack" once in a while is okay. Guess I am a bad mother LOL

I don't disagree with you, and definitely don't think you're a bad mom. There is a place for everything! What is important is that you do not consume excessive calories and you don't let junk calories crowd out the nutrients your body needs to be healthy. Junk should be reserved for AFTER you've met your requirements, kind of like not turning on the television until you finish your homework.

cleckner04

I know one mom who makes her own Happy Meals and even includes a small toy from the Dollar Tree. She takes her kids to the park 2-3 times per week with these. I thought it was a great idea!

That is an amazing idea!! I might have to steal that one. :flowerforyou:

carrie_lebel

I do want to add that my husband's mom did not stock her cabinets with junk food, no sugar cereal , no Debbie snacks, no crap whatsoever, like my family and the three sibling grew to be obese in their Pre- teens. Meanwhile, my family ate crap and we all are skinny. How does that work?

Just because you are thin does not mean you are healthy. Have you ever heard of being "skinny-fat"? You can be a VERY thin person and have a high percentage of body fat if you get the accurate test at the doctors office. It also doesn't mean it is not clogging your arteries. I have heard of thin and active people getting heart attacks because their food clogged their arteries.

I doubt you would call my family skinny fat. But ok since you know us It isnt like we ate crap 24/7 but our mom did not douse us with fresh veggies hummus and soy nuggets for snack time. We didn't have snack time. We had breakfast lunch and dinner that is it we didnt have snack time at school. We played outside. We didnt come in until it was dark. That is why we stayed healthy and Nope my "skinny fat" family is well and heart attack free.

donicagalek

i agree. we should execute any parents that give their kids anything with processed sugars in it. then with the parents out of the way, we can put the kids to work in the salt mines.

Now now - we don't have to kill the parents. When the parents stop feeding the kids processed foods and the children start telling people that they haven't eaten in days because of it CPS will come and get the kids and THEN you can have them for the salt mines.

Seriously. YOU try to fight with my kids on this. It's really easy to point fingers and call me a bad parent. I'd love to see you come over and try to get EITHER of my kids to eat a normal dinner.

Breakfast - never a problem with oatmeal or eggs/toast. Lunch - No problem with fruit/milk/yogurt/whole wheat sandwich. But dinner? Forget it!

It's always something like chicken nuggets/fish sticks/hot dogs/pizza rolls/burgers/pasta/mac and cheese with sides of corn/fries/pineapple/apple/banana. I feel blessed that they eat homemade pizza. I nearly had a heart attack when they ate homemade sweet potato pierogi!

They're 6 and 4 (well, they're almost 6 and 4) and EXTREMELY picky. At night I just don't have it in me to fight over dinner. Eventually they'll *want* to eat like adults (ie - dinner like mommy and daddy). Until then I'm more concerned about them getting their daily vitamins and I'm thankful for the other two meals that are healthy and the snacks that I bake that they'll eat.

Did I ever *try* to fight over dinner? Yes. One time I actually FORCED my oldest to take a bite of chicken in non-nugget form. He threw up. Fun.

ZachyABaby

I don't believe the "fire away" guy was necessarily callin the OP judgemental.

I am though. And everyone else who talked about how people who take their kids to mcdonalds are bad parents or "not responsible". I've heard this adage before and it's usually from people who don't have kids or say **** like they eat "clean".

Seriously stuff like this drags this site down. Either the most of you don't have kids or you're just trying to point out others' faults in order to not look at your own. We all have excuses for bad behavior. It's called being a human. Very rarely have I seen anyone change their behaviors or philosophy from being villanized. I promise if I scanned all of your diaries I would find some **** that's not super duper "clean". Furthermore you'd probably have a good excuse for it.

Kids like sugar and they like mcdonalds and either way who the hell are any of you to judge how someone else parents and or eats?

I came to this site because I ate BAD. A few weeks or months of a healthy lifestyle and all of the sudden I'm going to start pointing my finger and complaining about other people's choices? And ther parenting for Christ's sake. Come on.

At least they're eating.

Aylilth

meh, guess I will be the first to say, all is well in moderation. My daughter gets some processed poision every now and again. does that mean I blame her? um no. I feel like the opposite of what some have said, becuase of the way MY mother was... with being so strict, no snacks, no junk, is the reason I ate the way I did, I was a junk food junkie, I would get it in wherever and whenever I could becuase I was never allowed it growing up... SO one of the new things for me is live it in moderation. I think if we allow moderate "unhealthy" snacking, then we teach our children about healthy choices, and that a "bad snack" once in a while is okay. Guess I am a bad mother LOL

I don't disagree with you, and definitely don't think you're a bad mom. There is a place for everything! What is important is that you do not consume excessive calories and you don't let junk calories crowd out the nutrients your body needs to be healthy. Junk should be reserved for AFTER you've met your requirements, kind of like not turning on the television until you finish your homework.

Ya kinda in the same boat here, I do let my kids have some junk food and that stuff but for the most part they love healthy food as well. I Can't get my 2yo to stop eating apple out of the fridge. In this house we have a bit of everything, but there's a time and place for that.

donicagalek

Even with the processed dinners, my kids eat a WORLD different than I did growing up. I wasn't picky about meal time. The issue growing up was that probably about a good 20% of the weekly groceries were chips/ice cream/soda/cookies/etc

No joke - the pantry was *filled* with crap. Those gigantic boxes of potato chips (what brand were they? I remember the big blue box - Jean's maybe?). And for cripe's sake - do they still make those gigantic 3-liter bottles of soda anymore? We'd get about 3-4 bottles a week for a 6-person household.

And if we were low on cookies, my mother would bake them. I still have her soft sugar cookie recipe - it makes about 6 dozen. Have I used it? Yes, modified. I've added fruit, nuts and seeds instead of just the sugar/flour/lard combo. X-D I don't blame my parents though - it's not like they went to nutrition classes or had the Internet or anything. I doubt my kids are going to grow up blaming me, either. I'm leading by example at this point - when they decide they want to make better choices it'll be a decision that sticks because it was THEIR choice.

modernmom70

So agree! And Kids DO NOT NEED a treat in their lunch! I have had mom's ask me well what do you give them for a treat in their lunch if you have no processed foods in the house? I am like uhm they don't need a treat in their lunch! How about an apple!

I also don't believe in giving children fast food EVER! It is not real food and has no nutritional value.

And if it is a lifestyle change, then your family is part of that lifestyle, why would you care about what you put into your body and not what goes into your children. These posts that ask what do I eat when I take my kids to McDonalds....how about don't take themt o McDonalds!

My children do get treats, the occasional bag of chips or ice cream or something fresh from the baker, but this stuff is not kept in the house.

1113cw

I don't believe the "fire away" guy was necessarily callin the OP judgemental.

I am though. And everyone else who talked about how people who take their kids to mcdonalds are bad parents or "not responsible". I've heard this adage before and it's usually from people who don't have kids or say **** like they eat "clean".

Seriously stuff like this drags this site down. Either the most of you don't have kids or you're just trying to point out others' faults in order to not look at your own. We all have excuses for bad behavior. It's called being a human. Very rarely have I seen anyone change their behaviors or philosophy from being villanized. I promise if I scanned all of your diaries I would find some **** that's not super duper "clean". Furthermore you'd probably have a good excuse for it.

Kids like sugar and they like mcdonalds and either way who the hell are any of you to judge how someone else parents and or eats?

I came to this site because I ate BAD. A few weeks or months of a healthy lifestyle and all of the sudden I'm going to start pointing my finger and complaining about other people's choices? And ther parenting for Christ's sake. Come on.

At least they're eating.

Couldn't have said it better myself!!!

Would I like my son to eat grilled chicken and fish and steamed veggies and the like as I do? Of course!! But guess what,my 7yr old hasa mind of his own and is smart enough to know that I can't make him eat anything he doesn't want to. Could I go the route of my parents and say "either eat this or eat nothing", sure I could. But is that any healthier? I think not. I rather my son eat chicken nuggets and mac & cheese than go to bed hungry. And as long as I don't make food a battle (isn't that what lifelong unhealthy attitudes towards food are made from?), I find he's more compliant to slowly try new and healthier things that Mom is eating. And no, he's not anywhere near obese and totally active 100% of the day (not much cartoons or video games in this house).

1113cw

I don't believe the "fire away" guy was necessarily callin the OP judgemental.

I am though. And everyone else who talked about how people who take their kids to mcdonalds are bad parents or "not responsible". I've heard this adage before and it's usually from people who don't have kids or say **** like they eat "clean".

Seriously stuff like this drags this site down. Either the most of you don't have kids or you're just trying to point out others' faults in order to not look at your own. We all have excuses for bad behavior. It's called being a human. Very rarely have I seen anyone change their behaviors or philosophy from being villanized. I promise if I scanned all of your diaries I would find some **** that's not super duper "clean". Furthermore you'd probably have a good excuse for it.

Kids like sugar and they like mcdonalds and either way who the hell are any of you to judge how someone else parents and or eats?

I came to this site because I ate BAD. A few weeks or months of a healthy lifestyle and all of the sudden I'm going to start pointing my finger and complaining about other people's choices? And ther parenting for Christ's sake. Come on.

At least they're eating.

Couldn't have said it better myself!!!

Would I like my son to eat grilled chicken and fish and steamed veggies and the like as I do? Of course!! But guess what,my 7yr old hasa mind of his own and is smart enough to know that I can't make him eat anything he doesn't want to. Could I go the route of my parents and say "either eat this or eat nothing", sure I could. But is that any healthier? I think not. I rather my son eat chicken nuggets and mac & cheese than go to bed hungry. And as long as I don't make food a battle (isn't that what lifelong unhealthy attitudes towards food are made from?), I find he's more compliant to slowly try new and healthier things that Mom is eating. And no, he's not anywhere near obese and totally active 100% of the day (not much cartoons or video games in this house).

Aylilth

Even with the processed dinners, my kids eat a WORLD different than I did growing up. I wasn't picky about meal time. The issue growing up was that probably about a good 20% of the weekly groceries were chips/ice cream/soda/cookies/etc

No joke - the pantry was *filled* with crap. Those gigantic boxes of potato chips (what brand were they? I remember the big blue box - Jean's maybe?). And for cripe's sake - do they still make those gigantic 3-liter bottles of soda anymore? We'd get about 3-4 bottles a week for a 6-person household.

And if we were low on cookies, my mother would bake them. I still have her soft sugar cookie recipe - it makes about 6 dozen. Have I used it? Yes, modified. I've added fruit, nuts and seeds instead of just the sugar/flour/lard combo. X-D I don't blame my parents though - it's not like they went to nutrition classes or had the Internet or anything. I doubt my kids are going to grow up blaming me, either. I'm leading by example at this point - when they decide they want to make better choices it'll be a decision that sticks because it was THEIR choice.

I could have wrote that myself lol

My parents were big on food they loved baking and cooking. I think my mom's fave was after regular spag. Was getting more with just butter and parm mixed through:noway:

We ate out at least once a week.

Sad thing is I remember after diners almost every night my Dad would head to 7-11 grab us all a slurpee and a bag of chips for after diner.

I think there were even time where after we went to bed and after diners they would even order in pizzas and that.:frown:

My kids do have junk and yes I do take them to the dreaded McD's but I teach them about good foods as well. I would rather have them eat some crap now instead of saying no....then when teenage years hit sneaking behind my back and gorging out on it.

DebbieMc3

My son just turned 6 last week and although I allow him sweet or salty treats daily, he already knows and understands how to eat properly. We talk about serving sizes, proteins, carbs.....
He doesn't over eat and often chooses apples, carrot sticks, yogurt, low fat cheese, and hard boiled egg whites as his snack.

craftylatvian

Agree!
There are so many kids who will only eat chicken nuggets, hot dogs and mac & cheese. Parents are cooking two meals, one for them and one for the kids.
My step-nephews have their parent's eating habits, nothing but junk. My other niece and nephew eat more fruit and veggies and are willing to try any food given to them.

gardea

I really agree with OP. I have two kids. One who will eat just about anything and one who won't eat hardly anything. Part of the reason I decided to make a change in our lifestyle is to change my son's lifestyle. I would never blame my kids for not being able to eat healthy because I HAVE to keep snacks in my house. I am a big girl and make good decisions. My son is a big boy too. Do we have junk in our house, yes. Some!!! But we also have lots and lots of good things. I started writing down a food diary before finding this site. My son wanted to know what it was and decided to keep his own. Now granted, he is only 8. No, he doesn't keep track every day, but he wants to do it. I let him. I would never put my kids on a diet. But I can control the amount of junk that comes in. I told my aunt, who is morbidly obese, that I was making this change for me and my family, especially my son. She told me she wished her mom had done the same. Do I blame my grandma? No, but maybe my aunt wouldn't be the way she is if my grandma had been a little more strict.

Now, I'm not saying you are a bad parent for having junk in your house. But never should your kids be the reason you aren't healthy. I have limited time because I work full time and have 2.5 kids (hubby is the .5), but it doesn't take me any longer to fix them something healthy than it does to fix them "crap food". I don't punish my kids for eating junk. But I do moderate how much junk there is. And I am exhausted when I get home. Again, not my kids' fault. I am the way I am because I let myself get in the way. That time has ended. And at the same time, I won't willingly let my kids fall into the same rut I did. I don't blame my parents. I blame me. But there are people out there who blame someone else and I don't want to give my kids a reason to say I made them fat. I'm not saying they would, but I'm not taking that chance either.