The funniest or strangest attempt at a pick up.....

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  • rockabyesarojane
    rockabyesarojane Posts: 471
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    "Hi. I have a job." Always worked well for me.

    YES. good place to start! or

    "hi. my name is____ , what's yours?"

    that one gets me every time!
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    I didn't know till later that I was getting picked up by an extremely hot chick but here goes my story.

    Haloween 2 years ago, I was at a bar with some friends in full costume. I was dressed as a dark knight and had a sword and shield to go along with it. Well here I was drinking my draught beer and fiddling with my sword hanging from my belt and someone slaps my back. I turn around to see a smoking hot chick looking back at me. She was wearing a yellow maids outfit. Very hot petite brunette as I recall. Well anyway, apparently I poked the tip of my sword up her skirt into her *kitten* crack. Well she got me a drink and the chicken that I am, I didnt pursue asking her out or anything. She took my picture of me in my costume and everything. I think she enjoyed the foreplay!

    And that's the best I can do. I haven't had anything like that since then. I really need to get out more.

    We should go on a hoe stroll someday. Lol.

    Oh PLEASE....PLEASE let me follow close by! I sware you won't even know I am there, that would be a memorable night fo sho!
  • healthyjen342
    healthyjen342 Posts: 1,435 Member
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    One time this 50+ french guy came up to me and said, "your muzzair, she was a bakair, no? She made zee fresh bread when you were young?" and I was like, "uhm... why?" and he responded, "because you have zee most beautiful buns!".

    I laughed so hard. It was hilarious. the french accent was wonderful. lol.

    LMFAO.
  • Sonofabiscuit2
    Sonofabiscuit2 Posts: 323 Member
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    I met someone with this one. I was working the archery booth at the Renaissance Pleasure Faire in socal. It was the last day of the faire and I was pretty drunk, I was laying in the dirt with my friends and as she passed by I asked her if she would join our peasant pile. She dumped the guy she was with and laid with me. Then someone said who's touching my boob, she said I wish someone would touch mine, so I did and 11 years later we divorced.

    Also I would stick an arrow in my pants and invite women to come play with the finest shafts in the shire, guaranteed to stay hard and always hit the target. women would often attempt to reach in my pants at this point the problem was I was 25 they were in their 50's.
  • BlkStool
    BlkStool Posts: 13
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    And a few years back my girl friends and I were out and a guy was dancing with us for most of the night, he followed me out to my car so I could get something and then came back in the club. When the girls and I left, I found him sitting on top of my Explorer on the luggage rack, naked! With just his hat on! He had to be off his nut! It took lots of convincing to get him to come down!

    I told you I was sorry about this and we agreed (I thought) to never speak of this again. I totally misunderstood your request for a "pressed ham".
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    And a few years back my girl friends and I were out and a guy was dancing with us for most of the night, he followed me out to my car so I could get something and then came back in the club. When the girls and I left, I found him sitting on top of my Explorer on the luggage rack, naked! With just his hat on! He had to be off his nut! It took lots of convincing to get him to come down!

    I told you I was sorry about this and we agreed (I thought) to never speak of this again. I totally misunderstood your request for a "pressed ham".


    Lmao! Wow, from the other posts, apparently there were three of you on my truck???? Shoot when I drink I often see double but triple??? I must have been looking with one eye cause I only saw one naked guy! Dang, A group of 3 different guys would have been one heck of a party! :laugh:
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
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    And a few years back my girl friends and I were out and a guy was dancing with us for most of the night, he followed me out to my car so I could get something and then came back in the club. When the girls and I left, I found him sitting on top of my Explorer on the luggage rack, naked! With just his hat on! He had to be off his nut! It took lots of convincing to get him to come down!

    i was drunk that night & you promised that you were going to keep it a secret.:blushing:

    teehee!
  • BlkStool
    BlkStool Posts: 13
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    And a few years back my girl friends and I were out and a guy was dancing with us for most of the night, he followed me out to my car so I could get something and then came back in the club. When the girls and I left, I found him sitting on top of my Explorer on the luggage rack, naked! With just his hat on! He had to be off his nut! It took lots of convincing to get him to come down!

    I told you I was sorry about this and we agreed (I thought) to never speak of this again. I totally misunderstood your request for a "pressed ham".


    Lmao! Wow, from the other posts, apparently there were three of you on my truck???? Shoot when I drink I often see double but triple??? I must have been looking with one eye cause I only saw one naked guy! Dang, A group of 3 different guys would have been one heck of a party! :laugh:

    To be honest, we were all kind of aggravated that you came along and ruined our "nude explorer dance party"... and no, it was not called the "nude explorer dance party" because of your truck.
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    And a few years back my girl friends and I were out and a guy was dancing with us for most of the night, he followed me out to my car so I could get something and then came back in the club. When the girls and I left, I found him sitting on top of my Explorer on the luggage rack, naked! With just his hat on! He had to be off his nut! It took lots of convincing to get him to come down!

    I told you I was sorry about this and we agreed (I thought) to never speak of this again. I totally misunderstood your request for a "pressed ham".


    Lmao! Wow, from the other posts, apparently there were three of you on my truck???? Shoot when I drink I often see double but triple??? I must have been looking with one eye cause I only saw one naked guy! Dang, A group of 3 different guys would have been one heck of a party! :laugh:

    To be honest, we were all kind of aggravated that you came along and ruined our "nude explorer dance party"... and no, it was not called the "nude explorer dance party" because of your truck.

    Lmao! Hahaa! Sorry, next time I see three dudes dancing naked on MY truck, I will leave you all alone. :laugh: :laugh:
  • roylawrence87
    roylawrence87 Posts: 970 Member
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    "Hi. I have a job." Always worked well for me.

    YES. good place to start! or

    "hi. my name is____ , what's yours?"

    that one gets me every time!

    Hi. My name is Roy, what's yours?
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    I was about 19. In the Marine Corps. My motorcycle was in the shop and I couldn't afford to get it out, so I was hittching rides with a fellow Marine. I was playing on an inter service football team. One Friday I missed my ride, because practice went very long. I had to hitchhike from Camp Pendleton to my parent''s home in Orange County. I was on PCH with my thumb out. Older woman pulled over. I say older, but she was only about 35 or so. It was older to me at the time. She asked where I was headed. I told her and she told me she was only going about 10 miles short of my destination. Off we went. She was a little flirtatious. I was wearing a tight t shirt and jeans. She made a few favorable remarks about my fitness. I told her I had just come from football practice. Told her I was sore. She told me she was coming from a tennis game with friends; then steered the conversation to her college days and how her and her friends would give each other massages when they were sore from tennis. Then told me how sore she was and, if I came back to her home and gave her a massage, she would give me $20 and then a ride all the way to my parents afterwards.

    Okay.

    We get to her condo. I start feeling a little hinky about the whole thing. I was terribly naive back then. Started getting scared that this might be some kind of set up, or, she might be a cop and this was a prostitution sting, whatever. I decide I don't like the idea as much anymore. I told her I had to go to the bathroom and she directed me to the bathroom. My great idea was to climb out the bathroom window and run like hell. No window!

    I come out and she is laying on a sheet, on the floor, in her bra and panties. Baby oil next to her. I was trapped. Went through with it though -- the whole time scared the door was going to burst open. Probably gave a terrible massage, but she didn't seem to mind. She paid me, then offered to give me a massage. I won't go into the details. You've already guessed where this went.

    Afterwards, true to her word, she drove me all the way home. She let me off, gave me her phone number and told me that there were a lot of her friends that "would like a massage" if I was interested.

    I never called back. Too chicken. Probably missed some great "massages".
  • dracobaby82
    dracobaby82 Posts: 380 Member
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    Love the stories!
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
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    No one has ever tried to pick me up. pouty.gif

    Poor Carl, hey do you come here often, wink wink!! LOL

    Do you feel better now? ;-)
  • brown34
    brown34 Posts: 5
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    I remember what one guy did at a club. He came to the woman and he told her "I want you" and he started hugging her and dancing with her in a sexy way. She didn't protest and she accepted it. I come to the guy later and he told me that he told her that he liked her after telling her that he wanted her. I generally don't use pick up lines, but I have tried from this site http://pickuplinesblog.com/
  • BigBeaver
    BigBeaver Posts: 858 Member
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    I still like the classic, and I do admit to using this a few times in my younger days, only slapped once,
    "You wanna go for pizza and a F*^k?" and if they said no, "what you don't like pizza" actually worked once.
  • PaulaDDN
    PaulaDDN Posts: 162 Member
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    One time this 50+ french guy came up to me and said, "your muzzair, she was a bakair, no? She made zee fresh bread when you were young?" and I was like, "uhm... why?" and he responded, "because you have zee most beautiful buns!".

    I laughed so hard. It was hilarious. the french accent was wonderful. lol.

    LMFAO
  • emariec78
    emariec78 Posts: 530 Member
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    I had a guy come up to me at a club once and tell me I had beautiful eyes and then hand me a napkin with his address written on it and tell me I was welcome to come over later. I did not go.

    This one has to be the stangest. I was volunteering at the Great Amercian Beer Fest (free entry for volunteers) and this guy walked up, quite drunk, and told me I was cuter than his first tricycle. I don't have any idea what that means.
  • alex215
    alex215 Posts: 518 Member
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    I usually am the wing man for my cousins and friends since they are single and i am not. So one of the weirdest pick up lines i did as a wing man that actually worked was when i was out with my cousin sitting at a bar on Mill ave (street with lots of college bars) and my cousin was looking at this girl across the bar but was to shy to talk to her.

    So i was giving him a hard time about being a wus and what not. and then the song Shoop by Salt-n-Peppa came on and i jumped up out of my seat looked right at the girl and said hey! this song is about me!!! I did this very awkwardly and insisted that i was serious. So after i broke the ice with this girl and my cousin, and made a fool of myself my cousin seemed that much cooler than me and actually got this girls number and hung out with her a couple of times after that night.

    I actually like to be a wing man its rather entertaining to talk to girls when you have no intentions of actually trying to pick them up yourself, and it usually leads into your friends starting conversations with them.
  • Ree_Chatelain
    Ree_Chatelain Posts: 229 Member
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    oooh ooh...speaking of dorks!! well, awhile back the verizon guy came to put my phone line in my new apt, went on a date with him, had a one night stand, never called him back...yeah, yeah, slut i know. anyways, fast forward 3 months when i get a phone call from said verizon guy who said to me "thanks for flowers you sent to the hospital while i was there. it was really nice to be thought of by you" im positive i looked like a tool with my mouth all slackjawed and crickets in the background when i failed to respond and then i hear - "yeah, im just kidding. wanna try going out again?"

    yup, ladies and gents, 9 years later, 3 married, that's my man LOL

    That's priceless. LMAO
  • Ree_Chatelain
    Ree_Chatelain Posts: 229 Member
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    Ok here's mine. it wasn't actually a pick up line but it was weird and funny. I was talking to this guy i met on facebook (lame i know) but he was nice so i started chatting with him on yahoo. he said he wanted to show me a pic of his daughter so I said ok. he sends 1 of his kid and then 1 of his penis. Told me it was ready and waiting for me and then asked me what I thought. I answered honestly and said "I've seen bigger" lol needless to say we hadn't spoken since.

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