Weddings and Receptions

crystal10584

I don't see anything distasteful about it. A wedding is a reflection of the couple. The colors, the theme, the food, the atmosphere, its all a reflection of you. You have no obligation to go crazy outlandish just to suit the opinion of a few guest. Low key is nice, intimate, and very relaxed.

NOW it would be tacky if you did what my in-laws did. Have a destination wedding where you offer no financial help with travel/lodging (not that you need to but in their situation...well just let me continue, haha). You have your guest travel a ways away, even take ferries and pay expensive ferry fees to go to your wedding where the ceremony last 2 minutes, you are not even in your dress for 10 and then the food is crap, there is no entertainment. It is pretty much a back yard sub par bbq where you just spent over $100 to get to, to stay for an hour, and then leave. NOW that is tacky!

Yeah, as previously mentioned, I'd prefer to elope, but he wants the wedding (I know, a bit backwards, but it's sweet)

deeharley

Whatever you have is what you and he want...do not worry about what people think...it is your day!!!!

I personally would respect any couple that did anything they could afford...more so that a couple that took out a loan or went into debt trying to put on a show!

Few things that I (and my friends) have found to cut expenses...and these depend on how many people are coming
(1) look into Friday nights and Sunday afternoons...less expensive
(2) look for a hall where you can bring your own food...might be able to do appetizers with cake and punch
(3) if less than 100 people coming...look into a park...local park near my parents home offers a building for 4 hours for only $75
(4) My wedding and reception were in the same room...eliminated the cost of a church...still had our minister, but no church rental fee (any flowers for just one location and no limo to drive us from one place to the next)

if I think of anymore...I will send them to you in a msg! Good luck and do what you want...it is your day!!!!!!

1) night = dinner = more money... even if we saved on the venue, it'd just turn around and go towards feeding people, sunday afternoon... well his parents attend church and I'd like to leave sunday as a travel day for those who come in from out of town
2&4)all the halls around us would take up about 500-750 and yes we could have both the ceremony and reception in the same room, but it's harder for people to see that way sometimes
3) I'm seriously thinking because of his parents large families, that it will end up being about 125... and the wedding is in June and I live in texas... you're looking at 95+ as a high for us... so outside isn't a fab idea.

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! His parents have large families and will possibly insist you invite them, but won't help pay for it? Now, that's tacky.

I would make a list of guests - include mom, dad, grandma, grnadpa, MAYBE your groom's aunt and uncles, if your close to them, and that's it. If they find out and want more, tell them that's all you can afford.

A wedding is definitely one of those times when "he who writes the checks calls the shots" applies - especially if it's the bride.

(Sorry if that sounds harsh, but point number 3 angered me just a bit)

crystal10584

Whatever you have is what you and he want...do not worry about what people think...it is your day!!!!

I personally would respect any couple that did anything they could afford...more so that a couple that took out a loan or went into debt trying to put on a show!

Few things that I (and my friends) have found to cut expenses...and these depend on how many people are coming
(1) look into Friday nights and Sunday afternoons...less expensive
(2) look for a hall where you can bring your own food...might be able to do appetizers with cake and punch
(3) if less than 100 people coming...look into a park...local park near my parents home offers a building for 4 hours for only $75
(4) My wedding and reception were in the same room...eliminated the cost of a church...still had our minister, but no church rental fee (any flowers for just one location and no limo to drive us from one place to the next)

if I think of anymore...I will send them to you in a msg! Good luck and do what you want...it is your day!!!!!!

1) night = dinner = more money... even if we saved on the venue, it'd just turn around and go towards feeding people, sunday afternoon... well his parents attend church and I'd like to leave sunday as a travel day for those who come in from out of town
2&4)all the halls around us would take up about 500-750 and yes we could have both the ceremony and reception in the same room, but it's harder for people to see that way sometimes
3) I'm seriously thinking because of his parents large families, that it will end up being about 125... and the wedding is in June and I live in texas... you're looking at 95+ as a high for us... so outside isn't a fab idea.

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! His parents have large families and will possibly insist you invite them, but won't help pay for it? Now, that's tacky.

I would make a list of guests - include mom, dad, grandma, grnadpa, MAYBE your groom's aunt and uncles, if your close to them, and that's it. If they find out and want more, tell them that's all you can afford.

A wedding is definitely one of those times when "he who writes the checks calls the shots" applies - especially if it's the bride.

(Sorry if that sounds harsh, but point number 3 angered me just a bit)

They're very traditional when it comes to it all... especially who pays for what... and yeah, I think it's wrong but it's how they feel. A lot of their friends they'd invite are people I know personally and have spent holidays with. 125 may be a total over-guess, and it may only be 60-75, but I'd rather plan high and have more room to shift the budget than her final count be 80, and mine be 40 including the bridal party. My list is VERY small because I'm not close with my family except for 3 people. My aunt, my uncle and my nana. after that it's my super close friends and the rest is for his parents. She does understand that my budget is limited and may wind up helping later on... but it's highly doubtful. They claim they don't have favorites, but it really seems as if they favor their daughter more... and are paying for her college right now (they paid for his too).

This wedding isn't just about me. Their only son is getting married and I can't deny them people to share in the occasion with them.. to a point. They can't invite more than I can afford, but Mom has 3 siblings and so does Dad. I can't ask them to pick and choose who can get invited. Besides, with this economy, it's actually expected that probably just his aunt and his grandma from his mom's side, and his aunt from his dad's side will be all that will come in from out of town. ( I could limit it more, but it would make for a stressful relationship down the road).

princessmikayla5

First off, congratulations! When is the big day? I am getting married in 4 months and 1 day! We're both students and own our own home so neither of us have the money to pay for a wedding either, but I am lucky and my dad is paying for it. However, if he weren't paying for it I can say we would probably be doing what you are doing! I don't think it is tacky at all. It is your big day, and about your love and becoming husband and wife. Since you're having it in the afternoon and not at a meal time it is ok. People who are going to come to your reception are coming to celebrate your love for eachother. If they complain, then they are just rude and should not have come!

Congratulations again!!!!!!!!!

June 9, 2012 is the tentative date. If anything we'd only push it back one weekend if need be.

That's when ours is! It's my birthday

betterthanmama

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! His parents have large families and will possibly insist you invite them, but won't help pay for it? Now, that's tacky.

I would make a list of guests - include mom, dad, grandma, grnadpa, MAYBE your groom's aunt and uncles, if your close to them, and that's it. If they find out and want more, tell them that's all you can afford.

A wedding is definitely one of those times when "he who writes the checks calls the shots" applies - especially if it's the bride.

(Sorry if that sounds harsh, but point number 3 angered me just a bit)

Totally agree with this!!

Also I think you will have a beautiful wedding - I don't want to give the impression that all weddings have to be a $50K thing - I think it's ridiculous how much money is spent on a one day occasion. My parents & DH's parents had smaller weddings (and maybe that's why we had to have a huge official wedding, because I had my backyard with a keg in mind) and they say it was perfect.

Also I find some people say "it's your day screw everyone who disagrees! (etc)" or the bridezilla mentality, where it's all about the couple and who cares what others think. I hate hate hate this notion. Yes it is your day, yes you should be in control, but saying screw the guests, is not very nice. They are taking the time to wish the couple a great and happy day, and to ignore them is quite annoying.

I think guest could have a lovely time with the cake and appetizers, and since you don't have too many traveling from far, it's not going to be an issue. I have been to small budget weddings. I don't mind them one bit - sometimes it's easier on the guest because you don't feel the need to be uptight.

This is the only reason I think letting them know what type of affair beforehand, is quite important. They enjoy anything you give them, but if you give the image of "awesome $50K wedding!" and deliver a "no booze no food wedding!" some guests might feel jipped (especially if they get you great gifts..)

Also I don't know if you have a costco or sam's club in your area, but plates are really cheap there
I also found this...
http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/11472946.html?page=1&c=y

I am not sure what type of paper or design you are going to have, but vista print is quite cheap:
http://www.vistaprint.com

My only other advise would be just to make a mock budget, where you add up the items you want (plates from party city, $7 marriage certificate - which is awesome! I wish mine was that cheap!, dress, cake, etc) before you buy the items. They just add up so quickly.. and you have the time to relax and really look over things you can add, and not have to worry so much last minute.

ok, I think it's time for me to shut up. Sorry if i was annoying and a downer. I hope you have a great wedding and my best wishes to you :flowerforyou:

Tzavush

I think it sounds delightful and perfectly tasteful.

My husband and I paid for our wedding. We already had children and decided that a HUGE wedding was entirely out of the realm of possibility.
We had our reception at an All you Can Eat Chinese Buffet and it was just perfect for us!

Tzavush

I bought my wedding dress NEW and CUSTOM made from e-bay. It cost me less than $200 and it was custom made to my measurements and colour requests.
It came from Hong Kong and it was beautiful.
I could send you pics if you are interested.

I know you mentioned $1500. I know we spent a bit more but not significantly.
I bought second hand fake flowers for my bouquet and my husbands boutonnier, it was small and intimate.
As I mentioned it was all you can eat buffet - everyone ate what and how much they wanted (we paid for it all except bar tab)

I think the wedding is what you make it. And remember its not the wedding thats the important thing its the marriage that comes after.

bmontgomery87

I think it would be fine.
If the bride and the groom don't have to money to pay for a huge reception, I'm still going to attend.
It's about celebrating the most important day of their lives. The party is for them, but if they're nice enough to let me share in that event, I'm going to be there showing support.

I've been to a lot of weddings, and the expensive ones aren't always the fun ones.
I had the most fun at a pretty outside wedding, and their reception was bbq and a couple kegs of beer.
It was still a beautiful wedding, and the reception was a blast.

Elizabeth_C34

Firstly, CONGRATS!!

I got married on June 12, 2010, and although we had enough money for a big to-do we decided to keep the money for our first house instead and spent a lot less than people thought we did. Honestly, I think you can do a lot of great things on a tight budget for a wedding. We ended up doing a lot of small things (making party favors ourselves, getting good deals whenever possible, doing a lot of the footwork ourselves (that alone eliminated about $500 in delivery and transportation costs), etc. that shaved off a ton of extraneous costs. We had a full buffet dinner, but we got it for an outstanding price (same price most other caterers were charging for finger food only). Shop around and get creative. You can also do a potluck style reception in a garden. Very organic feel and doesn't cost anything.

I think the thing people remember most about our wedding was how much fun they had, not the food, not the flowers, etc. We tried to make sure that we set everything up so people had a great time, and it went very very well.

So, to answer your question, absolutely not tacky at all. Do your best and always try to remember that people are there to celebrate, so make it fun! You don't need a ton of money to have a great wedding! Keep it simple and open and fun and people will be talking about it for years