I'm a hypocrite

ibelieveinlove7

Shame on your family for being so un-supportive!! I feel your pain though - when I had lost twenty pounds through diet and exercise all my mom said was "you should try harder" like she expected me to be skinny right away. Anyway, it's hard to kick bad habits and you should be proud of yourself for doing so!

BatCola

Why can't this be viewed as a positive experience? You're learning look at what you're saying to yourself right now... that you have to restrict what you feel because of the neg feedback? DON'T THINK THIS WAY!!!! It's damaging and we tend to dwell on it... pick yourself up and learn from the whole experience. Your family doesn't have to live in your body! You like what you're doing do it with or without their approval. You want their approval of this lifestyle change but you don't have to have it to be happy.



references... ?
*I was the kid on the playground who got picked on for being poor, fat, and ugly.***

don't be hard on yourself forgive them for not understanding... and keep up the good work I wish I could do more myself...

cruiseking

Jealousy Sucks!

dls06

I just posted about a wedding I went to yesterday and all I did was talk about this stupid site. I think the people at the table were affraid to eat their dinners. I have to learn to keep my mouth shut and if they ask how I lost weight I'm going to tell them I'm just eating right. I'll keep the rest to myself.

Lpfeifer419

First off, awesome job with quitting smoking. Second, 15 pounds lost is AMAZING! That is so awesome! Third, I find it very inspiring that you would turn your hurt and anger into positive motivation!

Most people really have a negative response when others try and better themselves. Could be a lack of willpower, motivation, or desire, who knows. They want to knock you back down to their level. We've all heard the phrase, "misery loves company." Well, if they aren't happy with themselves, they are going to try and bring everyone else down to their level.

Next time they say you're too thin or too scrawny or too whatever, HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH and say "I actually LOVE the way I look."

srp2011

I got up this morning and rode 9 miles on my bike, ate my oatmeal, and entered my info into MFP.
I will be converting their bad energy into motivation. From now on when anyone asks how I am doing it I will just say I am eating better. I will never ever again share the details of what I have learned and how much this web site has helped.

I'll show them and the world that i can do this !!

Confratulations on not letting them throw you off your plan! A lot of people react negatively to someone else making positive changes because it highlights to them the failures in their own lives that they don't want to admit to or are too lazy to do something about. So, to make themselves feel good, they put people who are doing well making changes down. After all, if people can genuinely change and improve their lives, what excuse do they have for continuing to fail in their own lives? They have no one but themselves to blame, and most people will avoid that at all costs - far easier to to blame other people, society, etc... or just adopt an 'it's not possible to improve myself' attitude.

But, I wouldn't stop sharing how you are succeeding = there are people out there who really do want to know, and who may be ready to make changes in their own life (or who may be in that prep stage where they gather info but aren't quite ready to do anything about it yet).

Keep up the good work!

haileyco

I'm sorry, that is really unfortunate. I am sure the motivation behind their comments is jealousy. Having a family with weight issues myself, when I am doing healthy things for myself, there have been times when it seems like they are trying to sabbotage me. Just stay strong....you are ding this for YOU and no one else.

Hang in there girl!

crazypenrod1508

I'm sorry if I am repeating because I only read your post, but the most common reason for the negative feedback is because of jealousy. They also want to change something in their life, but they don't have the drive and motivation to do it.

Lunarokra

Sucks to hear, but sometimes our own family is not as supportive as we would like. I can tell you from my own, one of them is my dear husband. :grumble:


Keep going, love yourself and where you've gotten to. You will inspire many!

dxing

Yesterday I went out with my family.
They noticed I lost weight, and aside from my brother everyone had only negative things to say.

1: I am too skinny now
2: I am scrawny on top
3: I am trying to push my new "fad dieting" onto them
- because I was telling them I am trying to eliminate sugar as much as possible because of the info I have learned over the past few months.
4: I am a hypocrite
- because I used to smoke and eat bad and now I am excited about eating better and losing weight and getting into shape.
5: It's not going to last

I was hurt, felt like the kid in the school yard who got picked on again.

I had to share because i have it all bottled up inside and cant say anything to anyone because I might begin my uncontrollable preaching again.

I got up this morning and rode 9 miles on my bike, ate my oatmeal, and entered my info into MFP.
I will be converting their bad energy into motivation. From now on when anyone asks how I am doing it I will just say I am eating better. I will never ever again share the details of what I have learned and how much this web site has helped.

I'll show them and the world that i can do this !!

This happens a LOT!

I've had it happen to me, and some of the most ripped and fit people I know have had it happen to them. When people change their lifestyles, you often hear things like:

"I think you;re becoming obsessed with working out"

"How come I never see you eat?"

"Are you taking steroids?" - in reference to protein shakes

This happens because:

1. People are ignorant about what health and fitness implies
2. People are insecure about their own lifestyles, and rather than face their problems, try to bring down those around them
3. People don't seem to associate health food, as "real" food

It happens. Ignore the critics, and let your results speak for themselves.

dxing

Here's a great article about the subject

http://teamripped.com/the-naysayers

valeriebpdx

Everyone else has said it well, but I just wanted to add another voice of support and encouragement. When people are not happy with themselves and you start to make positive changes, they just want to pull you back down so they don't have to confront that they are not doing what they should be while you are. You are the exact opposite of a hypocrite--you are walking your talk, you quit smoking, and you are healing your body with your own actions daily. Fantastic. I am proud of you!

xxjacqueline

It's terrible that they don't support you. But it's amazing that you aren't letting them get to you. I try to use people's negativity as more motivation for me. You can do it, prove them wrong. Don't let them define what your capable of.

voyageruk

Perhaps you need to rethink which family members you spend time with.

If a member of my family reacted like that to any aspect of my personal life and made me feel bad about myself, they would be put in their place on the spot and warned if they continue they will have no further contact with me.

You may not be able to choose your family, but you certainly can choose which of them you speak to.

I have been in similar situations myself, I found being stern was the only way to handle it.

Just my personal opinion.

Well done on your success so far and I wish you the best!

jeepzilla

there just jealouse be proud of what you have done.. Let them grovel over being fat out of shape.. hold your head up high and enjoy your life... No one and I mean no one can take that away from you..

reneelee

1. SKINNY FEELS GREAT !
2. GO BUY A BOMB SHELL BRA
AT VICTORIAS
3. BE A "Q-TIP" QUIT TAKING IT PERSONLY
4. WHAT THEY SAY HAS MORE TO SAY ABOUT
THEM, THEN IT SAYS ABOUT YOU
5.MFP IS TERRIFIC AND I LIKE TO SHARE WITH
EVERYONE WHETHER THEY WANT TO HEAR
ABOUT IT OR NOT.
6. MFP HAS BEEN LIFE CHANGING FOR ME AND
IT SOUNDS LIKE IT HAS CHANGED FOR YOU TOO.
7. DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR FAMILY WAIT UNTIL ASKED
ABOUT LIFESTYLE CHANGE AND SHARE FREELY.

Dawntodusk

Almost every day there is a post like this - lack of support and negativity from family members. So sad that the people who are supposed to love us the most do this to us. Just keep it up, and come here for support!

cng1117

The next time you see them, hand them a dictionary so they can learn the meaning of hypocrite. Unless your dropping packets of sugar in your water while taking a hit off a cig all the while telling them the dangers of sugars and smoking then you are NOT a hypocrite. You are doing awesome, keep doing what you're doing!!

wilyz

Fukem

supersecretsquirrel1877

Well when they have you around longer, they will be happy you did all that REALLY HARD WORK! Maybe they are just jealous that you have such will power and ambition? Congratulations, you really should feel very proud of yourself.

SarahLovesCheesecake

Id just smile and say, what exercise did you do today / eat bad today / bla bla? Feel smug that u look good!

skylar1907

I know the feeling - my roommate keeps telling me that eating half of what I've eaten all year isn't good for me. I should go back to 12oz of steak every night instead of my 4-6oz now, I shouldn't weigh my food, blah, blah, blah.

I shouldn't workout more than 60 min a day because I haven't worked out in a while (that she's seen - I ride a horse 4times a week!). Blah blah blah. Its all background noise.

MY LIFE. MY JOURNEY. Support me, or leave me alone!

Keep up your journey - you are doing GREAT!

marji4x

They are SUPER jealous and hate themselves a lot.

Hannastyrbjorn

So sorry to hear that! People are idiots sometimes. My mom had a hard time accepting me weighing everything in the beginning. That was 2 years ago and now she is my biggest fan. Don't let them get to you - you are stronger than that. I quit smoking a few days ago (again) but this time I hope it'll last.

Think about how much you've accomplished so far and how proud I hope you feel of yourself. It takes lot of courage to take this journey and many people quit because it is too hard. I know the people who said those things to you will sooner or later stand by your side. cheering you on!

AngChambers06

one word for their feelings = jealously

you are doing something they probably couldnt

BflSaberfan

j e a l o u s y

Andra01

jealousy.... lol !

Don't worry about that it's a great thing that you stopped smoking and you eat well keep it up and don't listen other's critiques!

kelsully

Hypocrites say one thing and do another...you were doing something and now you have changed. Sounds like you have evn admitted that you are making different choices based on new learned info...hmmm...sounds more educated ...not being hypocritical....

Family can be so frustrating as they don't always know how to support...especially when it makes them take a close look at themselves in the mirror...and reflection can be very painful....this is their fail...not yours


Keep it up...you are educated and doing well

krb731

I had my last cigarette on Feb. 3, 2011 and since then I have been changing everything. Some of my friends and family are my biggest cheerleaders and others are my biggest haters. Either way, it is up to the individual. So keep doing this for you.

Qarol

It's hard when family clings to who you WERE as opposed to appreciating and getting to know who you are NOW.

And while I sympathize, people do need to be a bit careful about sounding preachy. Talking about how you've cut down on sugar b/c of what you've read may come across to others as you think their choices are bad. I know you don't intend it that way, but sugar is not necessarily bad for everyone. I tend to wait for people to ask me questions about how I've lost weight. And I try to keep it brief unless they ask more questions. And I try to phrase it in a way that this way of life works for me. That everyone is different and what might work for some won't work for others. For example, I'm on a low carb diet. Lots of people have negative opinions about this diet. But it really works for me. I feel fantastic on it. But my husband tried it, and it really didn't work for him, made him feel miserable, break out, etc. So it's not for everyone. I try to be careful not to imply that this diet would work for everyone.

But overall, those negative comments usually come from people who are jealous deep down. Try not to let it discourage you.