I'm a hypocrite

sculptandtone

First off, I applaude you for all of your changes! Stopping the smoking and changing your diet are HUGE accomplishments! I know what you are saying though, I have the same things with co workers sometimes. When I see them grabbing a candy bar and huge bottle of pop I tell them about how many calories and sugars and stuff is in it and they are like "you have to die of something" I only was telling them because that was my problem, I never stopped to look and realize what I was putting in my mouth in a day. Just thought if I could get one more person to see that I could help them. But I don't do it anymore! When they ask how did you lose so much weight, I ask do you really want to know before I answer...lol. I started the change because my husband had a heart attack, I just don't want others to have to find out the hard way!
Anyway, congrats and good luck in the future. And I agree, turn the negative into motivation to keep going! Sometimes I think people are just jealous because they would like to do the same thing but are afraid of failing if they try!

I am going to try to say this as kindly as possible because that is how it is meant. You may think you're helping someone by giving them unsolicited advise on how much sugar is in a candy bar or a soda, but no matter how good your intentions are, please don't do it. Trust me, they KNOW. Smokers KNOW smoking is bad for them. Overweight people KNOW chocolate and soda are the enemy. They don't need you or anyone else telling them, unless they ask for advice and help. I realize your intentions are probably very, very good. But your methods are very, very bad and probably quite annoying. When someone says "you have to die of something", what they mean is "shut up and don't tell me what I should or should not eat". Share your successful tips with people who ask for your help. Your success is message enough for those who don't ask.

atsteele

Yesterday I went out with my family.
They noticed I lost weight, and aside from my brother everyone had only negative things to say.

1: I am too skinny now
2: I am scrawny on top
3: I am trying to push my new "fad dieting" onto them
- because I was telling them I am trying to eliminate sugar as much as possible because of the info I have learned over the past few months.
4: I am a hypocrite
- because I used to smoke and eat bad and now I am excited about eating better and losing weight and getting into shape.
5: It's not going to last

I was hurt, felt like the kid in the school yard who got picked on again.

I had to share because i have it all bottled up inside and cant say anything to anyone because I might begin my uncontrollable preaching again.

I got up this morning and rode 9 miles on my bike, ate my oatmeal, and entered my info into MFP.
I will be converting their bad energy into motivation. From now on when anyone asks how I am doing it I will just say I am eating better. I will never ever again share the details of what I have learned and how much this web site has helped.

I'll show them and the world that i can do this !!

First of all, I LOVE the profile pic! That's great!!
Secondly, dont let the negativity of others get you down! People are generally afraid of change. They are seeing a different you and it's probably hard for them to understand it. (Trust me, I get the same type of comments from my family, including, "You look sickly." and "You dont look good." and "You are too thin." and on and on. And Im NOT too thin or sickly. Im healthier than Ive ever been! (I quit smoking about 15 years ago too.)
Third, don't give up on sharing what you have learned and being an inspiration to others!! We are not islands. We need people. Just keep in mind that they might not respond the way that you hope at all times. In fact, my family is so rude that they dont wait for me to share anything about my fitness; they come right out and say it without provocation! LOL It's ok. Im a big girl. I can take it. Im pretty mouthy too. hehe ;P

Congratulations on your positive transformation!! And good luck with future interactions with the family!!

Hixena

I know the feeling. When people ask me how I have lost weight I just say I run 3 times a week. I don't bother telling them about cutting out wheat, circuits twice a week, and calorie counting, because no one wants to hear it's hard work. It just makes them narky.

definately! as one of the smaller ones in my circle of friends i started putting on weight to a point where it put me in the overweight category and thought im doing something about this now not later, i met up wth friends for lunch told them how id lost 8lb and how (mfp exercise etc) hoping for some sort of encouragment and all i had was a table of silence back at me, until one finally broke the silence by talking about how she was so drunk on the weekend blah blah blah, how rude! i put it down to jealousy that i was doing something about my weight and they sadly dont have the courage to even try. people can be so mean and negative. Congratulations on your weight loss and not smoking!!! i have been a non smoker for 5 months now

scubacat

There is a saying something along the lines of "Success is the best revenge". Good for you to channel that negativity into motivation. You are not being a hypocrite, you are making a lifestyle change. Unfortunately, change is very threatening to many people.

Tayla08

I think most of us experience that at some point. First off, Congrats---Way to go in taking the steps you need to be a healthier you! They're jealous and unfortunately I've always noticed that people like that WANT you to fail, but these are the exact people that will piss you off and make you push forward and keep going! All you can do is encourage them to change, and if they don't want to, they won't. It just sucks people can't just be happy for you and support you.

NuevaNatalia

LOL. They called you a hypocrite? Do they even know what a hypocrite is? It's someone who pretends to be what he is not. You are not secretly smoking but then giving the impression publicly that you are not a smoker. You've just stopped smoking. You've changed your lifestyle for the better. You'll find that with losing weight, you'll be losing friends but will replace them with better friends.

Keep up the good work.

Mdbondurant

WOW - now if that is not frustrating!! Let's remember that "LOVE" doesn't say such things, but "JEALOUSY" does! Keep up the great work!!

I too have quit smoking (9 years ago) and it was one of the hardest things I ever did. I also changed the habits of associating with "smokers" I didn't stop seeing them or talking to them, I just quit hanging out in the "smoking section" Good luck and know you have friends here to encourage and discuss your lifestyle changes with!

~Michelle from TX

TriumphantLife

You ROCK! and you have plenty friends here to tell you how awesome you are!!! Keep up the good work.

mandeiko

You are doing such an amazing thing! Don't let anyone bring you down!! You are not a hypocrite by any means... You have just found a better path to take, called health. Keep going! You're an inspiration! They should realize that too!

JonoK

Yea, don't worry about it too much. I've experienced something similar - but I believe that it's because people are not use to me being smaller then what I was - and trying to be healthier. Unhealthy eating and living was a way of life 12 months ago. Now a lot has changed.

Give it some time and be true to your goals and things will get better.

Congratulations on your successes. You are always encouraged and free to share your accomplishments here with us. We're always anxious to hear more!

Congrats again!

SerenityOwl

First I would like to say that you have done so well!! It isn't always easy to be the one in "control" of what you eat, drink and do. People who do not have that control over themselves will always find a way to make you feel miserable and guilty. Pity it's your own family. I'd adopt a new extended family, one that is supportive whether you succeed or stumble. Hey, here's an idea ... make all of us your extended family! *snicker* You do not meet my definition of a hypocrite. Have a magickal day - strive for your goals and not those of someone else.

Owl

katelyn002

you keep going... people get mad cause they dont have the motivation and drive to do it!

landorki

Doing what we do is hard... for anyone! and maybe even a little intimidating for that same reason. You are doing a great job! If you think back, you probably reacted the same way to people who were trying something "new" and "healthier". We are afraid of the unknown.. and CHANGE!

Schwiggity

"Thanks for the support mom and dad. Enjoy the double-bypass." I'm glad my family isn't like that much. They try to push stupid folksy weight loss knowledge on me, but they're still encouraging.

jwhit31

From my experience, when people ask you about weight loss they are expecting some quick and easy new fad diet that can be done by anyone who lacks motivation. That's what they want to hear. When you tell them about the healthy changes you made in your life it instantly makes them offensive. It makes them take a good look at themselves and the poor choices they are making. I'm sure they don't like what they find but they aren't ready to see it and do anything about it.

Leading a healthy life style isn't an easy route to go, that's why obesity is such a problem in this day and age. You have to make that conscience choice for yourself and reaffirm it everyday. It's not something that someone can choose for you or you can do for someone else this can be their way of saying their not ready. They are downing you for your choices to make themselves feel better about their choices when it comes to health. Don't let them get to you. Do you, do your thing. If they ask you how you've lost weight just give them the basic facts: I watch what I eat and I exercise. The end. If they want further information I would tell them this isn't for the casual dieter, matter of fact, it isn't a diet at, it's a lifestyle change.

Call me selfish but this lifestyle change and is something I've done/doing for myself above all others. Everything/one else falls in after that. If someone truly wants to change their lifestyle I have no problem giving them a push in the right direction and sharing what I have learned. I'm sure you've noticed though, most people are turned off when you mention changing the way you eat and exercise. That's usually where my conversation ends.

MarchelleLynne

well I have already found that the only real encouragement and understanding I get is on this site!!!! bravo for you.....haters=motivators!!!

soonersgirl

Well, the joke is on them!!! When some people can't find it within themselves to make the change, they look negatively upon those that do...Don't let them bring you down. You know you are doing right for you..and that's all that matters!!!! Good Luck to you!

vanlaura

People don't like to be pushed out of their comfort zones and you revealing the 'shocking' fact that sugar is bad for you is a threat to their comfortable existence. We've all been there, I used to smoke regardless of what people said to me, people will listen when they're ready. Well done on everything you've achieved and well done on not letting them drag you down!

IMYarnCraz33

First of all, Congratulations on the life changes you've made. It's not easy.
2nd I'm sorry for the grief your family has given you. Unfortunately the people
we love and are close to can hurt us the most.
Try not to let their negativity bother you. You've done wonderful!
Maybe they're jealous, who knows.
Congrats again, and keep your chin up.

GigiRoa81

It is hurtful when people you love don't support you, but the reality is you have to do this for yourself. Don't let ANYONE, no matter how close they are to you, damper your spirit or destroy and wreak havoc on the positive changes you are making for yourself. You are NOT a hypocrite by changing bad habits that were dangerous and potentially killing you! On the contrary, you are VERY STRONG WILLED and this is a testament of your personal individual growth that you have changed bad habits and replaced them with positive ones! Good for you! Congratulations on your achievements so far and KEEP IT UP! Could it be possible that perhaps your family members may be a little envious of the positive changes you have made and therefore reacted in a mob fashion? Sometimes its difficult to see someone else doing well when you yourself aren't happy with the things you are doing. I think their reaction to you may have been a reflection of how your positive changes highlight the need for their own changes. Perhaps they aren't ready, but do not let them sabotage you because THEY are unhappy with themselves. Keep your head high, continue to love them, but don't take their comments to heart because it is not worth it and I don't really think it was truly directed at you so much as perhaps their envisioned failure in comparison to your success. If they ever want advice let them come to you, but treasure your changes like priceless gems and hold tight to them!

caterpillardreams

You are not a HYPROCRITE.
You have just learned to take care of yourself,

People like to be able to connect with others and also relate to them. When they see others succeed in things they have failed at they sometimes become bitter, and the pain and shame they feel towards themselves that they internalize when no one is around, they take it out on someone like you. ESPECIALLy when they have others that agree with them. They would not have said all those things if they had been surrounded by healthy concisous people.

You have changed and have grown to a better you, Do not let them bring you down. You have worked so hard to get here.
And they will look at you and see how strong you are, and maybe you will inspire them to change their habits.

gweid

Congrats and keep up the good work. Don't let them drag you down. It's odd how obvious people are about their jealousy.

ratherbeskiing

... they are just jealous! do not let it make u mad and I am glad u put all that anger to use! DO NOT LOSE SLEEP! u r doing a great job!

jayb0ne

I know that feeling.

I post weekly weigh in results to Facebook on Saturdays, usually along with a random bit of nutritional info. One week a good friend of ours (actually, the chief bridesmaid at our forthcoming wedding) who's studying nutrition posted back trying to piss on my good news at losing (another) pound or so. She was trying to tell me that I wasn't eating enough and it's not a sustainable weight loss and my approach to it was all wrong.

For someone studying nutrition, I was surprised to see her advising me that I should be making a 500 calorie deficit made up of 250 diet and 250 exercise.. I couldn't resist smugly telling her that she was quoting from the "recommended" daily allowances for an "average" male and in fact taking into account my BMR and activity level I was making a healthy deficit expressed as of a % of my BMR. Eating the "recommended" 2500 calories per day would have led to a gain of about a pound a week.

Anyway, turns out she was feeling a little bitter as she'd gained 2 pounds herself in the prior fortnight.

Moral being that even your close friends and family can turn on you if they don't like the change and they can say or do a lot of things to try and throw you off track. Just keep to your goals and don't let it get you down.

27strange

Great job on your successes!!!

Individuals (family, friends, neighbors, co-workers) who are not on the same path as you, who are not making a commitment to eat and live more healthy will cut you down. And for many different reasons: jealousy, self pity, envy, snobby, etc. Rather than be happy for you and encourage you, those not on this journey will spite you. Sometimes its because they are jealous of your success. Sometimes its because they think you have become some nut that is now judging them, when you used to be just like them.

I am doing this for ME. Period.

I am not judging my co-worker for eating that whole pizza while I eat my salad. I am not. I am not judging my friend who spends 6 hours a night in front of the tv snacking while I am out running, swimming, shooting hoops. I am not. I am not sticking my nose in the air and going around bragging that I have lost 20lbs so far. I am not. I am not being judgmental towards that 300lb man eating McDonalds. I am not.

This is for ME, not you. This is one instance in which I am being selfish. This is my lifestyle change. This is for ME.
You can't and won't get me down with your negativity, name calling, prudish attitude, disrespect. In fact, you only fuel the fire that much more. This is for ME. I will succeed.

Eats_With_A_Fist

I got up this morning and rode 9 miles on my bike, ate my oatmeal, and entered my info into MFP.

What, do you think you're better than me....show off!

Just kidding. You know you're making better decisions for yourself. Stick with it! Discouragement doesn't always have to be discouraging...it can be some of the best fuel we have access to sometimes. Keep swingin!

kaymayscool

They are jealous because you feel good, look good and have most likely achieved goals they haven't. Hang in there. You are a much better person for it! I apporeciate you sharing with all of us. BIG HUG!

Kay

Jamiebaby05

They may think your obsessed, let them because obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated. And remember that when someone is jelous of someone else its easier to put them down rather than to face the truth about themselves. Keep your chin up and heres to showing them!!!

karenkwalker

Awesome response - don't let them rob your joy and what you want to accomplish. You are making them look at their stuff and they are resisting. Too bad they can't just be happy for you. Give your brother a hug for supporting you. :bigsmile:

JamiroJunior

Yeah! Screw them, you're doing great. I hate when they tell you to stop where you are because you look good, keep going.