11 year old daughter

boomboom011

So according to some fitness test at my daughters school she is considered obese! She is almost 5' 4" tall and she weighs about 117-120. She wears a size 9 shoe. I do know she has a tendency to eat junk food (like most kids) but she is extremely active. I have stopped buying junk but she seems to have no problems getting her hands on it. I dont plan on completely restricting her from things but I dont want her to be 36 years old on a fitness website trying to get rid of baby fat from a baby she had 6 years ago. If you know what i mean.

With that said, do any of you have any suggestions on what I can do? I dont think she is fat but she is a bit chunky but she is still growing. Please dont get the wrong impression of me. My daughter is beautiful but I am the one that is responsible for what she eats. I want to teach her better eating habits than what I was taught. She has made comments about her belly so I figure now is the perfect time to get this under control.

I also dont want her to think she is on a diet either. I kinda want to do this on the down low without her even knowing. Am i making sense? She is going grocery shopping with me but before we go were working on a list with healthy snacks that she can enjoy. I guess my question is I know kids require more calories but are there any websites out there that you all know of that I can make sure I do this the correct way?

mapinkerton

I would ask them what scale they are using and I would discuss it with her doctor the next time you take her in. According to the BMI on this site, she is in the normal range.

ebgbjo

Wait, what?! 5'4" and obese at 117lbs? Not buying it- what method is school using?

FWIW, I am 4' 11, barely, and I am 119lb. Do I look obese in that photo? That school would consider me obese easily...

How old is your daughter? What kind of school lunches are being provided at her school? If they are going to be measuring kids and handing out labels, they better be prepared to be a part of the solution and start providing better school meals and exercise (whether it be a good gym class or recess if in elementary)

MarieRich

Make sure that the healthy lifestyle is something that your entire family takes part in. Don't make her feel singled out. Maybe a family meeting to discuss how you can all be healthier.

MissAnjy

I definitely wouldn't restrict her calories. I would just make sure the calories she is getting, are healthy ones. More fruits, veggies & dip, more veggies for supper, lean meats etc. I wouldn't have her calorie count, especially at 11 by any means, just watch what she's putting into her body. If she didn't eat junkfood, she'd be perfectly fine, especially while growing.

boomboom011

thats what I just did and it said the same. She was a bit upset when she brought home this "health & fitness" report. I think I will be making an appointment at the dr for her.

Qarol

Those BMI ranges and ideal weight calculators are for adults only. To really get an idea of a healthy weight for her, I would really suggest talking to her doctor.

lilwashee

GO TO THE GOVERNMENT SITE FOR THE FOOD PYRAMID AND U CAN PRINT OUT CHARTS OF SPECIFIC CALORIES AND FOOD AT THAT AGE SHE IS SUPPOSE TP EAT.I TOO HAVE AN 11 YR OLD GIRL I AM WORKING ON THIS WITH.AT THIS POINT SHE IS NOT OVERWEIGHT BUT THE WAY SHE WOULD LIKE TO EAT SHE WILL BE IN NO TIME SOO I WAS GOIN TO PRINT THOSE CHARTS OUT U SHOULD TAKE A LOOK AND LET ME KNOW

lynnmarie60

I'm going through something similar with my two oldest teenage boys so I definitely know where you are coming from. I want them to eat better and be more active but not be on diets, they are too young to worry about that but then again, I don't want them to be obese adults because I didn't do anything about it. So, I'm open to what others say about this to.

What I've been doing with them is encouraging them to exercise with me by finding what they enjoy, like nightly jogs with me, now they do it on their own when I don't. I also replaced all their high fat snacks with low calorie could ones like the 100 calorie snacks,fat free puddings, jello, weight watchers snacks and fat free and/or reduced fat ice cream. I also have them help me make healthy meals with items they like, try http://www.mealsmatter.org/.
Last night, we made white cake mix with diet orange crush instead of the eggs and butter into cupcakes with fat free whipped cream and they loved it.
This has helped and in the past few months, their weight has gone down.

murf19

Is she active in sports or out playing with friends? I started with my kids by limiting the sweets (they are allowed to eat sweets still) they eat and introducing healthier snacks. Grapes instead of candy etc... Slowly they got it.. I eat healthy and they follow my lead for the most part, but they are kids. And I think Kids should be kids!

ivyjbres

I used the CDC website to check her stats, it looks like she's high normal as far as BMI. If her feet are size 9, there's a good possibility that she still has height to gain, and when she does, her BMI will drop again. As far as eating goes, just start making meals like you'd eat for the whole family, "Cause its just easier..." Healthy habits mean way more right now than how much she weighs.

Also keep in mind that if a PE teacher isn't a coach (and depending on the state, that may not change anything), they likely have no health or fitness background, and you probably know just as much or more than them. The test may not have been administered correctly, the report may have been mis-transcribed when it was typed up, they may not be compensating for frame size, or may have assigned her the wrong frame size, etc.There's plenty of ways to screw up one of those tests. If her doctor's not worried, I wouldn't be.

jrp31

I think the whole BMI/obese measuring tools are ridiculous. At that height and that weight she is not obese... that's what I was when I started trying to tone up (she's even got an inch on me) and I was NOT obese, not even considered slightly heavy. I think they're probably going off of her age, which is ridiculous. I wouldn't even count calories with her. Just make sure you are providing her with proper nutrition from home. Lots of veggies and fruit, whole grain and a proper amount of protein. If she isn't getting much junk food at home and you are not providing her with money willy nilly she is not going to be gaining weight from it.

BamBam1113

I wish my mom would have done this for me when I was a kid. Kids are so mean to each other these days, I think you need to teach her better eating habits and help her to lose some weight. Unfortunately, these days, society says that we must be thin and attractive to be worthy.

janemartin02

wow.my daughter is 14.She`s 5.3 in.She is overweight,wts 179.We have been working with her and 2 drs for 4 years.We elimante the junk.Can have a treat on occassion.She knows about protion control.We struggle wit the exercise.She loves to read,but the ex is a struggle.The experts say lead by example.
Good luck.
I would talk to het dr about this.
jane

Lula16

this is a family journey. when you cook dinner, make sure everyone eats the same thing. I started doing this with my family since march. I cook grilled chicken, grilled fish, steam broccoli, and even make salads and my kiddos love it all! for snacks, i strted buying mini protein bars for them. 100 calorie packs. and on the weekends, they know thay can pick anything to eat. but they have started making better decisions themselves, for example, if they want mcdonalds, they will tell me to get them southern style chicken sandwich with fruit and walnut snack. I dont ever tell them we are on a diet. I explain to them that this a lifestyle change. That its better for all our health. good luck on your family journey.

dthompson9405

by hieght and weight she ir right on target so they must be concerned for her age. but i would try buying more healthy snacks. fruits, bottled water, unsalted pretzels etc.. so when she snack like most preteens do she will only have a healthy option instead of no option at all. then she will build a craving for those type of foods. i even get the no sugar cookies and my kids cant tell the difference. Good Luck

breezymom81

Please don't go off her BMI, I hate that number. Teach her proper nutrition, limiting the junk and keep her active. Once puberty hits her in a couple of years that baby fat is going to melt off. I would be having a serious talk with that school, I hope to God they are not telling these young women that they are obese! That is eating disorders waiting to happen. If you are truly worried contact your doctor! But I would raise hell at that school for giving that kind of info to kids

nickyevans

We have a similar thing with my step daughter, she is making comments that her belly is too big. She is just starting puberty and whilst she used to be very skinny, she is getting a little pot belly now (we have not said that to her). Because she has raised the issue we have pointed out that both her father and I are having to work hard to lose the weight we have put on due to poor food choices and tried to explain good food choices to her. Her mother has also raised a concern about her poor food choices and is trying to encourage healthier eating and exercise. Unfortunately it is a fine and difficult balance between educating and making the kid feel crappy! We only have healthy food in the house for the kids but like your daughter she gets access to cr@p at school. We force her to go outside and play on her bike or with her skipping rope, but you would honestly think by the way she acts that we were torturing her!!

kleavitt1992

So according to some fitness test at my daughters school she is considered obese! She is almost 5' 4" tall and she weighs about 117-120. She wears a size 9 shoe. I do know she has a tendency to eat junk food (like most kids) but she is extremely active. I have stopped buying junk but she seems to have no problems getting her hands on it. I dont plan on completely restricting her from things but I dont want her to be 36 years old on a fitness website trying to get rid of baby fat from a baby she had 6 years ago. If you know what i mean.

With that said, do any of you have any suggestions on what I can do? I dont think she is fat but she is a bit chunky but she is still growing. Please dont get the wrong impression of me. My daughter is beautiful but I am the one that is responsible for what she eats. I want to teach her better eating habits than what I was taught. She has made comments about her belly so I figure now is the perfect time to get this under control.

I also dont want her to think she is on a diet either. I kinda want to do this on the down low without her even knowing. Am i making sense? She is going grocery shopping with me but before we go were working on a list with healthy snacks that she can enjoy. I guess my question is I know kids require more calories but are there any websites out there that you all know of that I can make sure I do this the correct way?

Okay i understand.....i wish my mom had done this for me back when i only needed to lose 10 lbs when i was 10 but...... i mean okay i know she's 11 but come ON she's an INCH taller than me and im 18 and i weigh 145 which is only 5lbs into the "over weight" category........and i calculated her bmi and it says she is normal (with her age) ...... so my advice she's 11 lose weight but Don't Track it!! she's a kid her metabolism is fast sure buy healthy snacks ask her to go on a walk with you or even her friends daily tell her to go outside when she gets home from school or join an after school sport just make sure she gets an hour or more of excercise a day (school p.e doesnt count they dont really make you do anything)

SHBoss1673

the BMI on this site is for adults only, you can't use it for children.

As to what to do, I would just educate her as best you can, and encourage her when it's warranted. Never use negative reinforcement on weight control for adolescents (it never works, that's been proven).

It's a fact that children lean better through example and showing them, where as adults learn better through theory and understanding, so if you want to give your child the path to better health, show her by eating healthy yourself and including her in that, and give her the tools to learn about good health by explaining to her what the benefits are of eating healthy.

try to put it in terms she'll grasp and understand. For instance, young girls usually want to emulate some celebrity, well, find a few healthy celebrities that your daughter likes and would want to be like, see if you can find out their food and exercise programs (many of them these days publish this information either in fitness magazines, or on their own blogs), and show her this information, especially their diets and reasoning. Explain to her why diet is vital to good health and how exercise (all types) is important for having that well defined look.

That's what I'd do.

Aetarac

Those BMI ranges and ideal weight calculators are for adults only. To really get an idea of a healthy weight for her, I would really suggest talking to her doctor.

Exactly, those charts are intended for Adults and even then are a poor measure. she still has a ton of growth and development left.

Britte86

A few thoughts:
1)A lot of schools and programs still go by BMI which is COMPLETE CRAP!!!! IT WAS AN IDEA CREATED BETWEEN 1830 AND 1850 (Can you believe we are still using it? ugh) and it does not at all take into consideration muscle mass or body build. A good friend of mine is a body builder (not the gross steroid pumped kind, he is 100% natural with everything) and is in incredible shape but according to BMI he's obese. So if they are measuring based on BMI I would say take that information with a grain of salt because BMI is not accurate and I think it should be tossed out of the books completely.

2) she's 11 so she's still growing. Now that doesn't mean it's OK to let her eat whatever she wants and not live a healthy live style. You have a fantastic opportunity to teach your daughter how to live a healthy life style without feeling punished.

3)You need to make sure that when you go about putting her on any diet that you are make sure the goal isn't skinny. She's at that age when most girls are becoming incredibly self conscious about their body and their figure and now is a great time to teach her to love the body she has and that she's beautiful. Any diet should be geared towards healthy living, and NOT geared towards losing weight or not being fat.


I think you have a fantastic opportunity here, please use it wisely.

boomboom011

oh we are definitely all in this. My husband is rail thin and so is my son (of course!) but it doesnt mean they cant eat more nutritious foods. Thankfully my daughter LOVES fruits and veggies. Its just a matter of slowing down and implementing them in our meals. DH started a garden and she is dying to eat from it. She is one of a kind for sure.

I just know that I am responsible for her health and I want to be a great role model and never ever make her feel bad about the way she looks.

I just needed reassurance.

sarahsmom1

you are right she is 11 and growing I would just do what your doing feed her good food if she doesn't get the sweets at home thats less for her to eat if shes talking about her belly look on the web and there are hula hoop companies that make them for your height and waist size so they are custom and they are only about 15.00 plus shipping. You can get them and have mom daughter play time. If you haven't hula hooped in awhile she will love the opportunity to laugh and have fun with you she can be you teaching tool. Tel her you cant remember how to do it and you need her help. Good Luck

breezymom81

One other note: please don't cut out all junk, teach portion control!! I was never overweight as a child, but my mom didnt really allow junk and soda...let me tell you when I got out on my own and could have whatever I wanted! I went crazy, at 30 I am learning portion control, and my BMI is morbidly obese! I dont agree with that and am not trying to get to a BMI number, just comfy in own skin again!

TS65

Children's BMI's are rated differently. Talk to your doctor, but this is how I understand it. (My son has been off the scale his entire life. The doctor warned me that charts will show him as obese just because he's so big for his age... he is not).

Based on percentile, a child is considered:

Underweight - Less than the 5th percentile
Healthy weight - 5th percentile to less than the 85th percentile
Overweight - 85th to less than the 95th percentile
Obese - Equal to or greater than the 95th percentile

So, apparently, your daughter is taller and heavier than most 11 year olds (as such, she would be in the 95+% and is considered "obese"). Lame, but it's how it is. Again, talk to her doctor. DO NOT go off a stupid school report. :noway: :grumble:

SparkleShine

Wow, I definatly don't think she should be considered obese. That's awful! I'm sorry she's upset. I have a daughter who is 12 , she is very active between softball and soccer. She is on the chunky side still, she is 5'1" and weighs 123. Unfortunatly she loves junk food like her Mama.:embarassed: She eats healthy most of the time but if she has the chance she will down the junk food !

Hang in there, she sounds fine and I'm sure she'll be growing still.

ladyhawk00

the BMI on this site is for adults only, you can't use it for children.

As to what to do, I would just educate her as best you can, and encourage her when it's warranted. Never use negative reinforcement on weight control for adolescents (it never works, that's been proven).

It's a fact that children lean better through example and showing them, where as adults learn better through theory and understanding, so if you want to give your child the path to better health, show her by eating healthy yourself and including her in that, and give her the tools to learn about good health by explaining to her what the benefits are of eating healthy.

try to put it in terms she'll grasp and understand. For instance, young girls usually want to emulate some celebrity, well, find a few healthy celebrities that your daughter likes and would want to be like, see if you can find out their food and exercise programs (many of them these days publish this information either in fitness magazines, or on their own blogs), and show her this information, especially their diets and reasoning. Explain to her why diet is vital to good health and how exercise (all types) is important for having that well defined look.

That's what I'd do.

As usual, have to agree with Banks.

Also, just for reassurance, your daughter sounds a lot like me when I was that age. At 11 I got a bit chunky and was about 5'3". I then grew 3 inches in less than a year and the baby fat disappeared. I ended up at 5'9" with size 9 feet. As someone else mentioned, if her shoe size is already a 9, she has a lot of growing to do.

You definitely want to watch it, and encourage her to learn healthy habits - but I wouldn't get all up in arms yet. The more important thing would be in how you approach it. At the time that I got chunky, there were some seemingly insignificant comments made (mostly by my brother) that planted some seeds for eating disorders. I struggled with eating disorders for years afterwards, even though I had grown and gotten thin due to normal development. I'm not saying it was his fault, there were certainly other issues. But I remember the comments to this day. How you approach it and the language you use will make a big difference in her self-image. Make it about health and fitness, not appearance or weight.

ladyhawk00

Children's BMI's are rated differently. Talk to your doctor, but this is how I understand it. (My son has been off the scale his entire life. The doctor warned me that charts will show him as obese just because he's so big for his age... he is not).

Based on percentile, a child is considered:

Underweight - Less than the 5th percentile
Healthy weight - 5th percentile to less than the 85th percentile
Overweight - 85th to less than the 95th percentile
Obese - Equal to or greater than the 95th percentile

So, apparently, your daughter is taller and heavier than most 11 year olds (as such, she would be in the 95+% and is considered "obese"). Lame, but it's how it is. Again, talk to her doctor. DO NOT go off a stupid school report. :noway: :grumble:

This too. My son has been over 95th percentile since he was 2 months old. Right now, he's 7 and if you went by weight charts he'd be "obese".... But he's also average height for a 10 yr old. He is just extremely tall for his age and always has been, so obviously he's going to be higher in weight than other 7 yr olds. He's projected to be 6'2" to 6'8". He's actually somewhat thin at times because of growth spurts. So make sure you (and your doc) are looking at all aspects, not just weight.

Mamapengu

What about involving her in meal planning. Show her how many servings of protein/veggies/grain foods she needs and then see if she can help you plan what to eat for the next day. Don't concentrate on calories, but just on body needs for healthy living. I wish my mom had done this more with me, kids don't learn how to plan for meals or what a healthy meal looks like anymore. The one day a year they review it in elementary school really does not teach anything. I am a nurse but have had problem after problem with the school nurses, and finally had to send a letter to the school that I did not give permission to them doing any screening on my kids, I would be taking them to their physician for all screening. This was after they said my son's eyes were normal (he has a strong Rx, but memorized the eye chart in 1st grade), said my daughter had a hearing problem (nope, she's just interested in what others are doing and not proving to you that she can hear) and then not letting my son cleaning an abrasion on his knee and forcing my husband to come in and supervise my son cleaning his own knee and putting a band-aid on it. The kids were coming home with notes and 'worried' about what the nurse had said, at which point I would check them, get the expected results- which always coincided with the Dr's opinion when we took them in. I'm sorry to any school nurses out there, but I'm not impressed with the local crop in our area. Take it with a grain of salt. Check with her doctor, then just teach her healthy habits and why they are important.

suthernbelle

I think you've been given a lot of great advice here so far, but I'm still a bit confused because at 5'4" and 117-120lbs. that is not nearly obese, not even chunky. I would maybe look into re-measuring and weighing to see if those numbers are accurate.