11 year old daughter

MinnieInMaine

I really love the ideas of taking kids shopping and teaching them about nutritional labels, and guiding them through decision making. To me, learning what a normal portion is and learning portion control have been the most beneficial pars of my weight loss journey this time around.

My mother went more with the deprivation choice and that's why that method still doesn't work for me. It might work for really little kids but when they get into puberty and that rebellios side rears it's ugly head - if you say no to something, they'll still find a way to get it at school or from their friends in the cafeteria or from a vending machine. That's what I did, and it sounds like that's what the OP's daughter is doing.

I don't have kids but my husband is clueless about nutrition and has just recently started watching his calorie intake. The one thing he's been really floored by is the number of servings some packages have. He picked up some trail mix the other day and figured it wasn't bad since it was only 90 calories per serving - then later saw that there were 9 servings in that little bag!

LesliePierceRN

Make sure that the healthy lifestyle is something that your entire family takes part in. Don't make her feel singled out. Maybe a family meeting to discuss how you can all be healthier.

Kudos and Ditto. She needs to learn healthy habits now, so that she can carry the with her all of her life.. She's growing now and using the calories like gangbusters, but we all know how that's going to slow down and begin to pack on. Maybe if she learns the healthy habits now, she can avoid a life long struggle with her weight.

LainMac

Hi,

I would agree with the earlier posters on these things:

BMI - Useless - One of my four kids is solid as granite and is naturallly "cut" from age 5 and his school nurse sent home a note saying that he might be obese. Yeah, right. The kid is nothing but muscle and bones which weighs a lot more than "fat-fat".

Whole Family eats healthy most of the time - Perfect. Nothing worse than feeling that something is "wrong" with you.

Calorie control snack sizes - Also great advice - American portions are crazy. When I was a kid, we thought a handful of chips was awesome. Now little kids get bags with 5 times that much chips.

Whole family "moves" - If the kid isn't doing exercise by his or herself (like on a sports team) then do it with them.

The only pieces of advice I can add is try to show your child that most ads work by trying to make you feel bad so you'll buy their product to feel better. (You're only cool if you are in these jeans. You're saggy butt will be fixed with these magical but expensive sneakers.) The stuff that is good for you (like veggies and skim milk) don't need ads.

dwellsouth

I haven't read all the responses but wanted to say quickly, my 10 year old is on the "healthy" side and I'm working on the same thing you are. I am thinking about doing an account here for her and helping her learn about good foods and help her take control of her eating habits and her exercise habits and so forth. I never learned all that as a kid and I figure it's the best thing I can do for her is educate her for real. I have 3 girls and none of us can just eat whatever we want and I don't want them to end up obese and fighting it.
Good luck and you are doing the RIGHT thing. :flowerforyou:

kaytedawg05

well don't expect her to go "on a diet" to loose weight or even suggest it... in my experience w my now 12 yr old girl, my eating habits & things i have said rubbed off on her and she would say "i'm fasting today" but then she'd wait till no one was looking and pig out or sneak food into her room, among other "eating disorder" behaviors...

One thing I did to turn it around has been to let her choose what she eats. Of course I only get 1 box of junk a month, like a 40 pc marshmallow treats, something like that.. so there's not even the option for junk most of the time.. we have enough opportunities to eat crazy yums when there's at least one family get together a week, and holidays... so saturdays are "lenient".

Many times the biggest thing about it all is letting them know they and only they can truely control what they put in their mouths & how much they exercise & what they do... Eating disorders often start with a control issue & self esteem outlook... it became a fine line in my family... especially since myself & many other adults we know have eating issues & overweight.

I my daughter is 5'6" and was 180lb.. she has lost 3 lb this month and really trimmed up, we started swimming every day. not everyone has that opportunity... but she has noticed the difference in herself physically and mentally & her attitude has improved...

sitting & talking to her about the risks of eating disorders & what she was teaching herself in all the lying about what she eats & sneaking around opened her eyes... I've just been very honest with her & patient. and let her have control of her portions... within reason.. she does a lil binging still if I don't mention something to her & trying to set the good example as well. And offer inspiration like fitness magazines & what not... and the fact that we swim together... its encouraging

Just the fact that you would ask for advice shows that you're on the right track. Knowledge is really all we need to get the ball rolling.

kaytedawg05

lots of other good ideas in the thread also...

dwellsouth

My 10 year old is a hot cheeto addict too! LoL And my husband is her supplier! :ohwell:

Jeepinmom4

I agree with pp she's 11 and it seems to me like she's Probably just got a diffrent body build...my 10 year old is still 68 lbs and she's 4'9 ish but her best friend who's the same age is probably close to 5'1 100-110 lbs...but she's in no way fat! I hate the thought that your daughter now thinks she fat it's sad and I hole you work it out...gl mama!

marber

I use a BMI calculator that is worked out for kids. If you Google NHS BMI you will find it. The NHS is our national health service in the UK.

I put in the figures you gave and it said your daughter was a healthy weight.

jeffrodgers1

I am all for teaching kids about healthy lifestyle and such...Think it is a great idea. However young girls are already very self conscious about their bodies... face it, things are changing all over at 11 that can be embarassing for a preteen. To have the school tell her she is obese? OMG! That is so completely insensitive I am shocked.

Educate kids about healthy lifestyles and active living. Don't teach them to fixate on weight. It crushes an already shaky self esteem.

When my daughter was 11, she had to worry about enough things... let alone an authority figure pointing things out.

Just my 2 cents... but yeesh. Someone is dropping the ball here...and for what its worth 5'4" and 120 pounds is a decent height/weight. My 15 year old is 5'4" and 125 and has the boys chasing her all over town... and let me tell ya... she ain't obese either. (problem is she knows it too... :sigh: but that's another story.)

boomboom011

My baby girl is changing so fast before my eyes. Puberty is rearing its ugly head and she is liking boys.

I am looking into the test at the school. Thank you all for your advice. Some great ideas and awesome encouragement! Sisser (as my 5 year old calls her) and I will do this together.

boomboom011

BTW the test is given by a company called Fitness Gram. Apparently all students in public schools in texas had to take this physical test.

dlaplume2

I would ask them what scale they are using and I would discuss it with her doctor the next time you take her in. According to the BMI on this site, she is in the normal range.

That is what I was thinking exactly. I am 5'4 and at 139 people thought I was anorexic. She is almost 20lbs lighter. There is a difference between fit and fat. IF she had no stamina and that is why they are saying she is obese, I would take issue with it. That is how young girls get eating disorders. Maybe she needs to improve her strength and endurance, but that is something that needs to be broched in a totally different way.
I would talk to her and see what she thinks they were talking about and handle it from there. My daughter is a complete bookworm she loves nothing more than to sit and read a book. If your daughter is the same way then maybe she just needs to get up and do some activity like walking just to get exercise in. Not to lose weight, but to just be active.

Best wishes to you and her. I hope she takes the suggestions in stride and doesn't worry too much about the number on the scale. Lots of girls just are athletic and feel like a clutz and uncordinated and it doens't help their cause when someone tells them they are overweight because they are sporty.

Hope I explained that right. I'm not a really a writer, but I mean well.

SHBoss1673

both bone and muscle mass does not reach their peak until somewhere in a person's 20's. So BMI that would be accurate for adults is not the same as bmi for children, and consequently, children who weigh less can actually have higher body fat percentages than adults of the same height, weight, sex, and activity level.

You can't go by what YOU were at the same height and/or weight if you were an adult, that's completely different from a 11 year old girl who still has 7 to 10 years of growing and changing to do.

ChristineShowers

My 14 year old is the same height and same shoe size as your daughter and weighs 126 pounds. I would never tell her she is obese. She is very petite and looks great. My daughter is active and plays sports. I would say that you should talk to your doctor but your daughter is, in my opinion, just fine.






Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods

dragonflydi

My daughter's school is doing these 'fitness tests' too (she will be 12 next month, is 5' 6", size 11 shoes and is overweight ... but consciously working on making healthy choices and exercising - she plays softball, is doing a 1 mile run in two weeks with me, etc) and among them is a BMI, % of body fat test. They used a machine ... which does not record data accurately if they have eaten anything (she has PE after lunch), drank anything, or done any sort of activity. She came home happy that in the follow up test she could now do 5 push ups (only 1 in the beginning), went up two full levels in some running test ... and VERY stressed out that her body fat % went UP a percent, when she has done so much better and lost 6 lbs since the tests they did as a 'starting' point.

I pointed out to her that the machine was not accurate (fortunately, she has accompanied me to my gym a few times and she and I together talked with a trainer who also told her that the machine should only be used first thing in the morning when no food/drinks have been consumed and very little physical activity had taken place yet ... so she knew I wasn't just saying it to make her happy). Still frustrating ...

Losingitin2011

Wow. I really can't believe they would say that about a child who is obviously not obese.

It is *never* too early to start teaching healthy eating habits. They have very little to do with diets, since diets often specifically restrict certain food types.

I was chunky until I was about 14, then I hit a huge growth spurt and became a stick figure. Don't worry about it too much, just teach her healthy choices so she doesn't fall into the pit of crap food that so many of us have.

Kudos to you for being such a great mom!

breezymom81

You might also mention to the PE teacher that BMI is not accurate for anyone really! It is over 200 years old and the inventor never meant for it to used for individuals! It is meant for populations. If it bothers her have her read this info:

http://www.freefitguy.com/2011/04/18/measuring-health-why-you-should-throw-out-your-scale-and-ignore-bmi/

bcpie

I would just like to say kudos to you for taking responsibility for you daughter's health. That is truly wonderful. My own mother did not do that until I was veerryy overweight, and she was very harsh and not very helpful. It's a touchy thing to try and help a daughter, so best of luck.

whatupskinnyjeans

Seriously? i dont know what tests they did are but that is not obese! you can model healthy eating and provide nutritious foods. She will eventuallly learn from your example. make fruits and veggies appetizing make healthy things that taste good, and open her mind to tasting new kinds of foods. you said she is active so encourage that. but at 120 lbs she should not look anywhere near obese. maybe there was a mixup in the test results. and whatever u do- dont tell her shes obese... criticize her looks or make fun of "baby fat". i know someone who struggles with an eating disorder due to this kind of thing... just a though though maybe the just checked her weight without factoring the height? because it sounds like she is tall for her age. the avrege 11 year old weighs abt 85-95 lbs. so according to that she would appear obese on the age chart