How to fail at weight loss

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taso42_DELETED
taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
in Chit-Chat
Eat as little as possible to lose weight. Exercise as much as humanly possible - several hours a day at least. When you exercise, don't eat those calories back or else you defeat the purpose and you won't lose. Keep your carbs as low as possible because carbs turn instantly into fat in the body. Eat as much protein as you want. It will never turn into fat because you will just pee the excess out. Don't eat right before bed because all the food you eat before bed will get stored as fat. Never eat a cheat meal because it will instantly make you gain back all the weight you lost.

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Replies

  • Cristy_AZ
    Cristy_AZ Posts: 986
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    :wink:
  • DJmom44
    DJmom44 Posts: 91
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    Don't drink water because your body gets enough of it from the foods you eat.
  • SunLovin1
    SunLovin1 Posts: 682 Member
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    Sleep for only 4-5 hours a night to make time for your morning and evening workouts.

    Cut entire food groups from your diet.

    "Cleanse."
  • dottedone
    dottedone Posts: 23
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    Eat only chocolate. Even if you consider it to be dairy.
  • mikeyml
    mikeyml Posts: 568 Member
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    Buy a bunch of low fat frozen dinners that are labeled "healthy."
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    Yeah...you forgot:

    - Keep your mind closed so tight to new information that not one bit gets in and, worst-case scenario, you only hear exactly what you want to hear.

    - Mindlessly regurgitate what you hear without researching any of it. That way you can drag others down with you!

    Hope those help you fail at weight loss! :drinker:
  • iamstaceywood
    iamstaceywood Posts: 383 Member
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    OH NO!!!! I'm doing it all wrong. Ill have to drop my calories and work out more!!!
  • Adelphia
    Adelphia Posts: 176
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    Join the ranks of the pro-ana scourge.
  • Disinte_GratioN
    Disinte_GratioN Posts: 60
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    Absolutly No SEX! It kills your drive to workout! LMAO
  • carlfry
    carlfry Posts: 62
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    Hahaha! Love it ;)

    My favorite to "agree" with is carbs. Got to cut the carbs out completely.. because never mind that they make your brain FUNCTION! ;)
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
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    Im bumping because I want to know everything on how to fail at wieght loss.
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
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    This thread delivers!
  • jhoffman27
    jhoffman27 Posts: 55 Member
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    Lower your calories super low, the lower the more you'll lose.
  • Adelphia
    Adelphia Posts: 176
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    Absolutly No SEX! It kills your drive to workout! LMAO
    Or, use sex as a workout! Your *only* workout~! :love:
  • FatUncleRob
    FatUncleRob Posts: 341
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    Don't forget the energy drinks to help get you through the workouts.

    Drink lots of beer to get hydrated....

    Also, I hear that eating cabbage soup every day for a month is a real motivator to stay on your diet. :smile:
  • Cristy_AZ
    Cristy_AZ Posts: 986
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    Oh and on the cutting out whole fruit groups, no fruit, especailly bananas -- they are high in sugar and sugar is bad!
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    Start a new relationship.

    Get you wife pregnant and don't let her out do you
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    Cut entire food groups from your diet.

    "Cleanse."

    YES
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    Absolutly No SEX! It kills your drive to workout! LMAO
    Or, use sex as a workout! Your *only* workout~! :love:


    If I had my way, that actually would work:tongue:
  • AdamATGATT
    AdamATGATT Posts: 573 Member
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    Beer is healthy, because it's made from hops, and hops are a vegetable (they're green, come on!). Eating your veggies is healthy, but drinking them is healthier!

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