Men...

Thexplodingirl

It depends... does cyber SEX count? :laugh:

mental_release

All of these are interesting and they have made me laugh. But hopefully you won't mind if I turn serious for a moment...

For the first 9 years of our marriage I wasn't "present". I stood behind my wife and let her handle everything for one reason or another. Our 10 year anniversary is coming up in little over a month and she is now in a state where nothing I do seems to affect her. Flowers are put in a vase and then thrown out in a couple of days. Gifts are set aside and never used/enjoyed but later commented on "why am I spending the money". Gestures of love are met with rejection (she turns her head away, or pulls away from me). Any attempt to give a foot massage or such is also met with a sigh and a look of "What do you want?". I even suggested a week long vacation (which we have *never* taken with the kids) over our anniversary to get away and just be a family. She shows little to no interest. I'd love to take her away just the 2 of us, but we have no one to rely on to leave the kids. Both our families are unreliable or non-existent.

I truly do fear I'm too late in "being here", but then I see *she* is still here, still sleeping in the same bed, still making dinner for *us*, still bringing the kids to meet me for lunch at work every now and then.

Ladies, I'm open to ideas. I truly love this woman and want to make the next 10 years surpass every expectation. I'm just not sure how to convince her.

Again, sorry for going serious, but I admire the bluntness of this thread. Good luck to you all.

-MR

Thexplodingirl

All of these are interesting and they have made me laugh. But hopefully you won't mind if I turn serious for a moment...

For the first 9 years of our marriage I wasn't "present". I stood behind my wife and let her handle everything for one reason or another. Our 10 year anniversary is coming up in little over a month and she is now in a state where nothing I do seems to affect her. Flowers are put in a vase and then thrown out in a couple of days. Gifts are set aside and never used/enjoyed but later commented on "why am I spending the money". Gestures of love are met with rejection (she turns her head away, or pulls away from me). Any attempt to give a foot massage or such is also met with a sigh and a look of "What do you want?". I even suggested a week long vacation (which we have *never* taken with the kids) over our anniversary to get away and just be a family. She shows little to no interest. I'd love to take her away just the 2 of us, but we have no one to rely on to leave the kids. Both our families are unreliable or non-existent.

I truly do fear I'm too late in "being here", but then I see *she* is still here, still sleeping in the same bed, still making dinner for *us*, still bringing the kids to meet me for lunch at work every now and then.

Ladies, I'm open to ideas. I truly love this woman and want to make the next 10 years surpass every expectation. I'm just not sure how to convince her.

Again, sorry for going serious, but I admire the bluntness of this thread. Good luck to you all.

-MR

Have you tried telling her just that?
Every once in a while I check in with my hubby to see if there's anything he feels is lacking in our relationship (luckily he thinks we're doing great too). We also are encroaching upon 10 years and are saving up for a week long vacation in Hawaii where we got married. Granted we don't have the added stress of children.
I would hope she cares enough about you to listen to your well constructed thoughts and hurt, and would maybe be open to some counseling if at least some reconnection....

Noctuary

I don't have time to wait for my guy to figure stuff out. Whatever I want from my man I just tell him.

FitJoani

Wait men are supposed to do these things for a woman??? Seriously???:ohwell:

deeharley

All of these are interesting and they have made me laugh. But hopefully you won't mind if I turn serious for a moment...

For the first 9 years of our marriage I wasn't "present". I stood behind my wife and let her handle everything for one reason or another. Our 10 year anniversary is coming up in little over a month and she is now in a state where nothing I do seems to affect her. Flowers are put in a vase and then thrown out in a couple of days. Gifts are set aside and never used/enjoyed but later commented on "why am I spending the money". Gestures of love are met with rejection (she turns her head away, or pulls away from me). Any attempt to give a foot massage or such is also met with a sigh and a look of "What do you want?". I even suggested a week long vacation (which we have *never* taken with the kids) over our anniversary to get away and just be a family. She shows little to no interest. I'd love to take her away just the 2 of us, but we have no one to rely on to leave the kids. Both our families are unreliable or non-existent.

I truly do fear I'm too late in "being here", but then I see *she* is still here, still sleeping in the same bed, still making dinner for *us*, still bringing the kids to meet me for lunch at work every now and then.

Ladies, I'm open to ideas. I truly love this woman and want to make the next 10 years surpass every expectation. I'm just not sure how to convince her.

Again, sorry for going serious, but I admire the bluntness of this thread. Good luck to you all.

-MR

Aww - I'm so sorry you and your wife are struggling. I remember hearing a story once - I think it's in a book by a former baseball player, can't remember his name, sorry - about the guy realizing he hadn't cared for his wife the way he should have. He knew that she loved fresh-ssqueezed orange juice and started making it for her and leaving it on her bedside stand every morning. Every morning, for two years he did that and she didn't respond ( I assume she drank the juice). It took two years for him to win her back.

It could be a long road, but as long as she is still there, you aren't too late.

Thexplodingirl

I don't have time to wait for my guy to figure stuff out. Whatever I want from my man I just tell him.

Or I buy it for myself and thank my hubby later. Btw I have gotten flowers maybe twice and we don't celebrate valentine's day and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything but smoke and mirrors. My hubby shows me he loves me 365 days a year in ways that count for ME (like giving me a beer while I'm in an ice bath! Beer beats flowers on their best day!)

FitFrenchGirl

flowers always does the trick melt my heart away!! awwwwww i miss getting flowers!:flowerforyou:

nickyevans

My ex husband often brought me flowers, in fact it is one of the things he made a big point of telling me as I was packing my bags. A bunch of flowers once a month did not make up for the rest of the cr@p. My new husband has rarely got me flowers but he has got me random presents just because he thought I would like them and he tells me he loves me every day and every morning the first thing he says is "Morning Gorgeous". To me these things are way more important.

ehte_h

women get way too susoicious, its a slippery slope

JenniferH81

I dont like getting flowers, sure they're pretty and smell wonderful, but they last for a week then they're garbage. it's a waste of money.

koosdel

I don't have time to wait for my guy to figure stuff out. Whatever I want from my man I just tell him.

If only more were like you.

jad54

women get way too susoicious, its a slippery slope

^^^^cheater

Breckgirl

My Ex had a standing order with the florist that every six weeks they were to deliver a flower arrangement to me at my job. My boss would always call her husband and tell him about it. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

SweetLe

i put gas in my wife's car!!

what now?!?!:smokin:

As much as I agree and LOVE getting flowers....right now this is what I want :drinker:

ket_the_jet

I normally buy a girl a dozen roses when I break up with her.

I like breakups to be as memorable as they are devastating.
-wtk

DarkAngel864

I have never gotten flowers from a man (dad excluded) in my entire 28 years of life :sick:

RoadDog

If your relationship is teetering and happiness is contingent on the delivery of a dozen roses, you just may need to re-evaluate and look at making some changes in some more important areas.

sbwood888

You know what I love? When my husband just up and does the dishes for no apparent reason. He'll say, "Honey. You relax. I'll take care of it". He doesn't do it very often, but when he does, my heart just swells! :smooched:

solpwr

This topic made me think about a) my failed marriage and b) my pondering a new relationship. Yeah no. Staying away from the girls. Too many complexities. I'm not good at it. Thanks for the reminder!

tammyquinnlmt

For me, flowers are always a pleasent suprise. I've only gotten them like 5 times in 14 years of marriage. However, my fantasy is to come home from work and finding my hubby wearing nothing but an apron cleaning the kitchen. Now that, would make for both happy husband and happy wife!

tammyquinnlmt

I don't have time to wait for my guy to figure stuff out. Whatever I want from my man I just tell him.

Sooo agree with this. If you tell a man what you want, most will comply. My husband is learning to do things like give me random compliments and fold laundry. It makes me happy!

Hannah_Banana

LOL!! Guys make you want to be a lesbian...but you wouldn't date someone as crazy and emotional as yourself =p.

Truer words were never spoken. I embrace my female insanity, I think it makes me interesting and unpredictable. :laugh:

Men get their mystery by not saying much at all, women get it by saying something different every time.

kelly6485

Hmmmm......I don't recall getting a surprise gift of any kind anytime in the past few years....... I got flowers once as a suck up gift.......

Women love caring, thoughtful gifts, doesn't have to be flowers, or expensive, I personally like flowers, but not every girl does, I also like stupid thoughtful gifts like, lets say, my favorite chocolate during that TOM lol, but honestly, just a nice truthful compliment works just as well, and that's free! Women like feeling loved and appreciated , end of story!!

DESIREE1210

Great advice, wish my husband would do that for just no reason other than he loves me and is thinking of me.

angryguy77

Random flowers have never "made my night" nor has random jewelry or a letter. I still do it, but not nearly as often as I used too.
Of course I didn't do these things for selfish reasons, but after awhile you kind of lose interest in doing it if it doesn't spark anyting from time to time.
Advice to ladies, if your husband brings home flowers or a gift, don't hop into bed and go to straight to sleep each and every time, unless you desire to kill the romance. Throw him a bone every now and then and it will go a long way.

This is from a guy who used to try hard to be romantic and listen to what my wife wanted. Unfortunately, I gave up.

BigBeaver

HA HA HA!! You are SOOO funny!!! The last time I bought flowers for my wife, she chewed me out for spending the money!

I have women pretty much figured out. I call it Ted's Law in Dealing with the Opposite Sex.
1. You (The male) can NOT win.
2. You (The male) do have to play.
3. The rules WILL change to suit the game.
4. The reasons for this are still somewhat unclear, the most promising theory on causation of the order of relationship status is that the female has a microchip with mood altering programming embedded in her at some point in life. Conventional thought is that it coincides with adolescence, but this has not been definitively proven.
5. When a precious metal; most commonly in conjunction with a precious stone, is applied to the 4th digit of the left hand, the microchip is then activated. Mood is from this point altered, often irrevocably.
6. The female is free to behave in any manner she wishes, and exercises total control of access to the nuclear storehouse.
6a, All men are considered Third World Countries and women alone have coveted "Nuclear Technology"
Any variances or questions regarding the application of this law will be referred to rule #1.


That's pretty much where my science has taken me....

Ted, you are a genius!

littttlelaurra

:frown: I have never had a guy give me flowers ever .. pouts, and now I dont even have a guy lol.

NoWeighJose74

:frown: I have never had a guy give me flowers ever .. pouts, and now I dont even have a guy lol.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

reepobob

:frown: I have never had a guy give me flowers ever .. pouts, and now I dont even have a guy lol.

Someone is going to have to remedy that...