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  • mixmastaspig
    mixmastaspig Posts: 4 Member
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    Flowers can lead to other things :devil:

    Unless you're my wife. Then they don't lead to ****

    I lol'd
  • littttlelaurra
    littttlelaurra Posts: 229 Member
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    :frown: I have never had a guy give me flowers ever .. pouts, and now I dont even have a guy lol.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    thank you my friend :smile:
  • littttlelaurra
    littttlelaurra Posts: 229 Member
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    :frown: I have never had a guy give me flowers ever .. pouts, and now I dont even have a guy lol.

    Someone is going to have to remedy that...

    You already do alot for me , super supportive and motivational and always there, so thank you!:heart:
  • Mios3
    Mios3 Posts: 530 Member
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    [[/quote]


    Angryguy77 you are absolutely right. If your significant other doesn't put fourth the effort then it won't matter. That being said I went through the same problem with my hubby 6 months ago and I was the one doing EVERYTHING. When I left is when I think he realized that I was tired of it all,( we have been together for 15 yrs) and he had to do something. It has been a difficult road back but both people have to want it for it to work. So that brings me to a question, Why wait so long to try to fix something you've noticed going wrong or unbalanced for a while?
    [/quote]

    We've been married for 8 years and trust me, I've haven't waited too long. This has been an ongoing struggle and I keep hoping that it will click sooner or later. We almost divorced over it 5 years ago, but I decided to stay and try to work things out. I that being unhappy wasn't a justification for a divorce. I do believe it's warranted in some cases but I believe that sometimes its done to easily(I'm not casting judgment on those who have as each situation is different). She has been a good spouse in a lot of ways. She has stuck with me though some hard times, but it's this one area that would make things so much better.


    It's not that we are at odds everyday, but I just know we both could be happier if we had a better relationship. People say that it shouldn't play such a big role in a marriage, but if it's absent or not at all too frequent, it becomes a huge issue. It makes the person who's rejected think why should I do certain things when the things that I want isn't reciprocated?

    I do lover her, I just feel like I'm missing out and our relationship is being shortchanged.

    This is why I try to give a male perspective on this whenever I get the chance. Even if you ladies don't feel sexy or whatever the reason maybe, take some time with your husband. If he's a decent guy your marriage will benefit and he should be there for your needs as well. Trust me, no matter how unattractive you may feel, we don't view you that way. If we married you, it's because we find you attractive and still will even if you put on some pounds. It's not that we are animals, we are just wired different and require intimacy much like you require emotion and romance. Think about it this way, if you could improve your marriage by doing this, wouldn't that make you feel better than a little extra sleep or watching some rerun on tv?
    [/quote]


    I would agree with this as well. Intimacy is a huge part of a relationship (or mine anyways), and yes it does make the one being rejected (me) feel like why do I try. So I can relate to this. I guess if all else fails I can spike his drink with a little blue pill :laugh: unfortunately I don't think there's a pill for women as effective as that...lol :cry:
  • Mios3
    Mios3 Posts: 530 Member
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    [[/quote]


    Angryguy77 you are absolutely right. If your significant other doesn't put fourth the effort then it won't matter. That being said I went through the same problem with my hubby 6 months ago and I was the one doing EVERYTHING. When I left is when I think he realized that I was tired of it all,( we have been together for 15 yrs) and he had to do something. It has been a difficult road back but both people have to want it for it to work. So that brings me to a question, Why wait so long to try to fix something you've noticed going wrong or unbalanced for a while?
    [/quote]

    We've been married for 8 years and trust me, I've haven't waited too long. This has been an ongoing struggle and I keep hoping that it will click sooner or later. We almost divorced over it 5 years ago, but I decided to stay and try to work things out. I that being unhappy wasn't a justification for a divorce. I do believe it's warranted in some cases but I believe that sometimes its done to easily(I'm not casting judgment on those who have as each situation is different). She has been a good spouse in a lot of ways. She has stuck with me though some hard times, but it's this one area that would make things so much better.


    It's not that we are at odds everyday, but I just know we both could be happier if we had a better relationship. People say that it shouldn't play such a big role in a marriage, but if it's absent or not at all too frequent, it becomes a huge issue. It makes the person who's rejected think why should I do certain things when the things that I want isn't reciprocated?

    I do lover her, I just feel like I'm missing out and our relationship is being shortchanged.

    This is why I try to give a male perspective on this whenever I get the chance. Even if you ladies don't feel sexy or whatever the reason maybe, take some time with your husband. If he's a decent guy your marriage will benefit and he should be there for your needs as well. Trust me, no matter how unattractive you may feel, we don't view you that way. If we married you, it's because we find you attractive and still will even if you put on some pounds. It's not that we are animals, we are just wired different and require intimacy much like you require emotion and romance. Think about it this way, if you could improve your marriage by doing this, wouldn't that make you feel better than a little extra sleep or watching some rerun on tv?
    [/quote]


    I would agree with this as well. Intimacy is a huge part of a relationship (or mine anyways), and yes it does make the one being rejected (me) feel like why do I try. So I can relate to this. I guess if all else fails I can spike his drink with a little blue pill :laugh: unfortunately I don't think there's a pill for women as effective as that...lol :cry:
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    [


    Angryguy77 you are absolutely right. If your significant other doesn't put fourth the effort then it won't matter. That being said I went through the same problem with my hubby 6 months ago and I was the one doing EVERYTHING. When I left is when I think he realized that I was tired of it all,( we have been together for 15 yrs) and he had to do something. It has been a difficult road back but both people have to want it for it to work. So that brings me to a question, Why wait so long to try to fix something you've noticed going wrong or unbalanced for a while?
    [/quote]

    We've been married for 8 years and trust me, I've haven't waited too long. This has been an ongoing struggle and I keep hoping that it will click sooner or later. We almost divorced over it 5 years ago, but I decided to stay and try to work things out. I that being unhappy wasn't a justification for a divorce. I do believe it's warranted in some cases but I believe that sometimes its done to easily(I'm not casting judgment on those who have as each situation is different). She has been a good spouse in a lot of ways. She has stuck with me though some hard times, but it's this one area that would make things so much better.


    It's not that we are at odds everyday, but I just know we both could be happier if we had a better relationship. People say that it shouldn't play such a big role in a marriage, but if it's absent or not at all too frequent, it becomes a huge issue. It makes the person who's rejected think why should I do certain things when the things that I want isn't reciprocated?

    I do lover her, I just feel like I'm missing out and our relationship is being shortchanged.

    This is why I try to give a male perspective on this whenever I get the chance. Even if you ladies don't feel sexy or whatever the reason maybe, take some time with your husband. If he's a decent guy your marriage will benefit and he should be there for your needs as well. Trust me, no matter how unattractive you may feel, we don't view you that way. If we married you, it's because we find you attractive and still will even if you put on some pounds. It's not that we are animals, we are just wired different and require intimacy much like you require emotion and romance. Think about it this way, if you could improve your marriage by doing this, wouldn't that make you feel better than a little extra sleep or watching some rerun on tv?
    [/quote]


    I would agree with this as well. Intimacy is a huge part of a relationship (or mine anyways), and yes it does make the one being rejected (me) feel like why do I try. So I can relate to this. I guess if all else fails I can spike his drink with a little blue pill :laugh: unfortunately I don't think there's a pill for women as effective as that...lol :cry:
    [/quote]

    Ha ha if there was, the inventor would be able to buy Bill Gates and George Soros without blinking.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Flowers can lead to other things :devil:

    LOL, flowers SHOULD lead to other things...then again, so should a glance across the room, a good movie together, a bad day, a good day...

    Hmm...you guys getting the point??

    =D
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    This is why I try to give a male perspective on this whenever I get the chance. Even if you ladies don't feel sexy or whatever the reason maybe, take some time with your husband. If he's a decent guy your marriage will benefit and he should be there for your needs as well. Trust me, no matter how unattractive you may feel, we don't view you that way. If we married you, it's because we find you attractive and still will even if you put on some pounds. It's not that we are animals, we are just wired different and require intimacy much like you require emotion and romance. Think about it this way, if you could improve your marriage by doing this, wouldn't that make you feel better than a little extra sleep or watching some rerun on tv?

    What he said.

    I've been lucky in that I've rarely had to deal with that aspect being lacking...but when it is...it crushes us.
  • ShellyKay67
    ShellyKay67 Posts: 489 Member
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    I just need to mention that fake flowers do not count.

    *scribbles that idea off my notepad*

    HA! funny! : )
  • ShellyKay67
    ShellyKay67 Posts: 489 Member
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    All of these are interesting and they have made me laugh. But hopefully you won't mind if I turn serious for a moment...

    For the first 9 years of our marriage I wasn't "present". I stood behind my wife and let her handle everything for one reason or another. Our 10 year anniversary is coming up in little over a month and she is now in a state where nothing I do seems to affect her. Flowers are put in a vase and then thrown out in a couple of days. Gifts are set aside and never used/enjoyed but later commented on "why am I spending the money". Gestures of love are met with rejection (she turns her head away, or pulls away from me). Any attempt to give a foot massage or such is also met with a sigh and a look of "What do you want?". I even suggested a week long vacation (which we have *never* taken with the kids) over our anniversary to get away and just be a family. She shows little to no interest. I'd love to take her away just the 2 of us, but we have no one to rely on to leave the kids. Both our families are unreliable or non-existent.

    I truly do fear I'm too late in "being here", but then I see *she* is still here, still sleeping in the same bed, still making dinner for *us*, still bringing the kids to meet me for lunch at work every now and then.

    Ladies, I'm open to ideas. I truly love this woman and want to make the next 10 years surpass every expectation. I'm just not sure how to convince her.

    Again, sorry for going serious, but I admire the bluntness of this thread. Good luck to you all.

    -MR

    You should read the 5 love languages... I forget who writes it... it is is an awesome book! I think everyone should read it... It says that people feel loved in 5 basic ways... 1. quality time 2. Acts of Service (ie, cleaning the house, cooking, mowing the lawn, etc) 3. Physical touch 4. Words of affirmation (Saying, I love you, you look beautiful, you really did a great job on X, you are such a caring person, etc) and 5. Gifts.

    People tend to initially show love in the way that they feel the most loved... so if she is always doing things for you, she probably likes acts of service and would really like it if you helped her with the dishes, etc. If she is always giving you compliments she will probably really appreciate it and take it to heart if you make it a point to give her genuine compliments, etc. It was an awesome book and helps to show how to love people in the way that they feel loved

    I've read this book........and it is really good! What lets a person feel loved can be so different from what makes another feel loved!!!
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    Flowers are a waste. Especially if you guys think of them as foreplay. I'd rather have my guy just grab me and start kissing up against a wall and.....
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
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    Hmm. I didn't read all the responses here, but I'd say that at this stage in the game if my guy brought me flowers I'd have to wonder what he did wrong. Also, if he brought me roses I'd tease him about being a big ol' cliche. When we first started dating he'd bring me wine and dark chocolate. It is nice to get little surprises, but I prefer something more thoughtful. Not something that society dictates a man should do for me, but something that I would actually appreciate. Like tickets to see my favorite band or to a Bulls game. Or a funny popcorn bowl because I'm a popcorn junkie. But to demand it or expect it and act like a spoiled rotten princess sets the women's rights back about 40 years.

    Case in point: my bf just walked in with a couple of bags. I said jokingly, "What did you bring me?" He said, "Live crabs. I'm going to make us something delicious." I'll take that over flowers any day.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Case in point: my bf just walked in with a couple of bags. I said jokingly, "What did you bring me?" He said, "Live crabs. I'm going to make us something delicious." I'll take that over flowers any day.

    Good man!...and AMEN!!

    =D
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
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    This obviously doesn't work for a young struggling couple, but my grandfather bought my grandmother a dozen roses, and knowing that she hated to see them die, he replaced them every week for over a year, while she wasn't there, so she didn't have to see it. I think he stopped when he had a stroke.

    As so many have pointed out, each woman is different. If you choose a woman and study her, learn her quirks and desires, and spend your energy making her happy, she SHOULD return the favor.

    I am sorry that so many of you men struggle. Frankly, when I read about a woman not responding to her man, I want to hunt her down and smack her.
  • linscave
    linscave Posts: 59 Member
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    The nicest things my husband has ever done for me have generally been free and not for any occasion.

    He used to leave songs that I loved ready to play on the cassette deck in my car. So when I got into it to go to work I would turn on the stereo and a favourite song would start.

    Once he bought me home a hanging basket full of strawberry plants, that were being thrown away at the plant nursery where he worked. He had nutured them until they were starting to fruit and then bought it home for me one day when he knew I was having a bad day.

    These thoughtful gestures meant more than any flowers or expensive gifts because it meant he had thought of me during his busy working day and wanted to make me smile!

    That is why I married him and have been with him for over 20yrs!
  • DowntimeDesigns
    DowntimeDesigns Posts: 134 Member
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    OR you could send/bring her flowers, cook her dinner, appreciate her and do everything right and she'll just decide that a long distance relationship is just too difficult and already be sleeping with someone else...

    Eh... I'm a cynic. Love is for suckers.
  • linscave
    linscave Posts: 59 Member
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    OR you could send/bring her flowers, cook her dinner, appreciate her and do everything right and she'll just decide that a long distance relationship is just too difficult and already be sleeping with someone else...

    Eh... I'm a cynic. Love is for suckers.
    r

    Wow what a B****! She clearly wasn't worthy of having a decent guy!!!
  • DowntimeDesigns
    DowntimeDesigns Posts: 134 Member
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    I don't know if I was a 'decent' guy, but if I was, she pretty much ruined me for anyone else...
  • IdaBetances
    IdaBetances Posts: 79 Member
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    i put gas in my wife's car!!

    what now?!?!:smokin:


    LOL :laugh: I'm in love! Marry me! :flowerforyou: :blushing:
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
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    Flowers can lead to other things :devil:

    Unless you're my wife. Then they don't lead to ****
    LOL 2 words brother..... call - girl!!

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