Marriage vs. Singledom
Replies
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Why can't we be together but not have to be married?
I enjoy calling him my SO- and I really enjoy shocking the *kitten* outta old fogies when they refer to my "boyfriend" of 3 years as my husband! :laugh:
We're still single, in the term world, but committed on so many different levels.
You mean like a "lease a man"??? With an option to upgrade or buy? :laugh: You are a crack up!
Actually, I think I've found the "perfect man" for me! Yep, sure have! We get comments all the time about how happy we are together, and we are.
But, I've been engaged before. Soooooo glad I didn't go through with it! Think of all the mess that would've created. We were just two weeks away from signing contract to buy a house. Then the light came on. :noway: We were together for 6 years, but only engaged the last 6 months. Everything on the outside was going good, but we were not meant to be.........found my upgrade! :bigsmile:
LOL Love it!0 -
My husband was my "boyfriend" for 10 years before we got married. I never wanted to get married but then something in me changed it's mind (turning 30 helped). We'd been living together for 10 years - seriously, I moved in with him the day we met (long story) - our finances were "one". If we would have broken up....it would have been just as messy as a divorce. But I wanted to be married. I wanted to be a "real" family. He was all for it so off to Vegas we went. I still have my independence, I am still my own person (I didn't even take his name). I certainly don't take care of him like a pet...he feeds himself and cleans up after himself. I've never felt like his servant.Why can't we be together but not have to be married?
I enjoy calling him my SO- and I really enjoy shocking the *kitten* outta old fogies when they refer to my "boyfriend" of 3 years as my husband! :laugh:
We're still single, in the term world, but committed on so many different levels.
My mom has had her "boyfrined" for 20 years and they have no desire or plan to ever marry.
To each his own.
hey, I'm turning 30 this year....:huh:
Actually, we've talked about doing Vegas.....he's the one that wants the BIG wedding. Not me, never been that girl. Who knows, maybe vegas. And everytime I talk to his mom (whom I love) she always mentions marriage. She always tells me if we elope just give her a call soon after. So much pressure! Sheesh!
I agree, to each his own.0 -
Well I've always been single. I do like the independence. I can do what I want, when I want. This is really convenient for dieting as I decide what comes into the house. I don't have kids either so my time is my own. I'm taking online courses to get my BA in Health Science which I don't think I could handle with a full-time job and kids.
However, it would be nice to have help in and out of the house. I'm not so modern that I wouldn't mind a man around to mow the lawn, take out garbage, fix things and take care of 'needy things' :blushing: inside the house. :laugh:
Mostly, it would be nice to have someone to share life with, someone who loves you above all others.
However, I do think girls/women need to live on their own some before living/marrying a man. That way you know you can take care of yourself and don't feel 'stuck'.
Jackie
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'How does one become a butterfly?, she asked. 'You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.'0 -
well I'm just gonna be honest about it.... I miss sleepin around :smokin: lol
I hear you don't miss it much. {{{giggle}}}
:flowerforyou:
I have never gone outside my marriage....
physically :bigsmile: 0 -
When husband #1 exited stage left just days after I had cancer surgery (I lost my ability to bear children so therefore, I wasn't a "real woman" anymore ya know), I vowed that I would nevereverEVER marry again but I didn't count on one day encountering the one man who made me forsake that vow....and after 8 years of being married to him, I don't regret a single day of it. Oh yeah, there are moments when justifiable homicide seems a viable alternative but we muddle through it. I can honestly say that he's my best friend as well as being my husband so even in those moments I amthisclose to blasting him into oblivion, I have to stop and think that even if I don't exactly love everything about him at the time, dang it all, I genuinally LIKE the man 0
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When husband #1 exited stage left just days after I had cancer surgery (I lost my ability to bear children so therefore, I wasn't a "real woman" anymore ya know),
That's crap. I have issues and my husband supports my decision to not have children. Good for you finding a better man! :flowerforyou:0 -
When husband #1 exited stage left just days after I had cancer surgery (I lost my ability to bear children so therefore, I wasn't a "real woman" anymore ya know),
That's crap. I have issues and my husband supports my decision to not have children. Good for you finding a better man! :flowerforyou:
Ditto that!
How can some people even look themselves in the mirror after doing something like that???? 0 -
When husband #1 exited stage left just days after I had cancer surgery (I lost my ability to bear children so therefore, I wasn't a "real woman" anymore ya know), I vowed that I would nevereverEVER marry again but I didn't count on one day encountering the one man who made me forsake that vow....and after 8 years of being married to him, I don't regret a single day of it. Oh yeah, there are moments when justifiable homicide seems a viable alternative but we muddle through it. I can honestly say that he's my best friend as well as being my husband so even in those moments I amthisclose to blasting him into oblivion, I have to stop and think that even if I don't exactly love everything about him at the time, dang it all, I genuinally LIKE the man
YEY YOU for all you have overcome! I love it!0 -
Marriage is the best part of my life. Here's a Kahlil Gibran quote that I think puts it better than I ever could:
On Marriage
Kahlil Gibran
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
I love Kahlil Gibran's work in "The Prophet". His words really speak to me - in fact, I want his quote on death to be read at my funeral. It is just moving.
Anyways, when DH and I were going through a very rough period, I printed this quote for him (also by Gibran) - and gave him two wine glasses along with it - read and you'll see why.
Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.0 -
I'll take marrage
:flowerforyou:
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I've been married to my hubby for almost 17 years, only been apart twice in the 19 years we've been together, that was due to having 2 children in hopsital. :happy:
I would NEVER EVER want to be single again
- me when my boys (now 10 & 17) fly the coop - maybe I'll change my mind :laugh: but I doubt it 
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I'll take marrage
:flowerforyou:
aaawww...cute pic! :flowerforyou:0 -
Most definitely marriage for me. While perfect in no sense, I couldn't imagine not being married.
I think alot of people are actually happier without being tied to someone but your asking me....someone who has never been without a guy since I can remember.
(Don't say it Shannon.:laugh: )
I never had the opportunity to be on my own and sometimes I wish I could have had that chance...but...nothing will change the past.
People have unique personalities and some people are more suited for marriage while some free spirits are much more happier alone. To each his/her own.
I feel the same way - I've never lived on my own. In college, there were always 4-6 roommates, and then I got in the family way, and DH and I were married after DD was born. So....I wish I had a chance to live alone, but I don't know if I would have been as willing to get married if I did, :laugh: Since women tend to outlive men, I'm predicting I'll probably turn into an old-cat-lady since taking care of one man is enough for me! :laugh:0 -
I'll take marrage
:flowerforyou:
Awwwww....you can see the love on your faces.:smooched:0 -
Most definitely marriage for me. While perfect in no sense, I couldn't imagine not being married.
I think alot of people are actually happier without being tied to someone but your asking me....someone who has never been without a guy since I can remember.
(Don't say it Shannon.:laugh: )
I never had the opportunity to be on my own and sometimes I wish I could have had that chance...but...nothing will change the past.
People have unique personalities and some people are more suited for marriage while some free spirits are much more happier alone. To each his/her own.
I feel the same way - I've never lived on my own. In college, there were always 4-6 roommates, and then I got in the family way, and DH and I were married after DD was born. So....I wish I had a chance to live alone, but I don't know if I would have been as willing to get married if I did, :laugh: Since women tend to outlive men, I'm predicting I'll probably turn into an old-cat-lady since taking care of one man is enough for me! :laugh:
A cat lady....:laugh: :laugh:0 -
Well I've known my husband for almost 16 years and love him to death but I think I missed some fine print in that contract... :laugh:
I think I missed the entire contract.
Single, but I wouldn't give up my daughter for anything.0 -
single anyday. maybe i'm a selfish *****, but i never understood the draw of havng to share your life with someone. sex, sure, snuggles ok, cleaning up after them, cooking for them, putting up with thei annoying friends and basically being their servant, no thanks. companionship is nice, but not so nice that i would give up my independence.
Awwe. But when you do find that "right person", you SHARE all these things. I understand having your own space too. Never lose track of who you are, and the things in life that make you happy!
I can attest though: Couples who play together stay together!
Amen to that!
I don't HAVE to do ANYTHING that I don't WANT to do within my marriage...
We share so much, he does SO much for MEEE....and I do for him out of love, respect, etc.
It's a two way street...I'd never want to be married to someone who thought I was their servant! Ew.0 -
I've been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 16 years, together for 19...I love that man! Of course sometimes I tell HIM to do laps...he doesn't listen, but that gets him back in line. :laugh:
I vote I looooooooooooooooooooooooove being married!
Princess!!!! I also married my highschool sweetheart - I generally do not recommend it (you know - the whole self discovery of University), but we were best friends in highschool and then it quickly developed into romance... we both went on to University, and grad school, and stay together through all the changes!
I think single is enjoyable when you are young, but as you age, it gets pretty lonely (all of this is of course contingent upon a good partner!). When I think of my single friends who are 40 plus, my heart goes out to them.
Just my humble opinion...
:flowerforyou:0 -
single anyday. maybe i'm a selfish *****, but i never understood the draw of havng to share your life with someone. sex, sure, snuggles ok, cleaning up after them, cooking for them, putting up with thei annoying friends and basically being their servant, no thanks. companionship is nice, but not so nice that i would give up my independence.
Ya, I wouldn't have married that man either!!! EEEK!!!!
Not all men are obnoxious! My husband is great at the snuggles, he isn't a pig, he cooks great (worked in a meat department when we were in school), we have the same friends, and serve??? We serve each other evenly...Hokay, he spoils me! He listens to my crazy talk, he is a great Dad, a fantabulous military guy. He's a goof sometimes, but perfect for me!
My husband was diagnosed with cancer the day my daughter was born. I almost lost him 6 years ago. What a wake up call. We have had tough years, but we have worked through the sick days and here we are! He makes coffee for me in the AM and even rubs my feet to wake me up! Anyway...
Not all men are a mess.
Couldn't have said it better!
Awww =o)
My hubby makes me coffee every morning too...it's the little things don't you think? =o)))
*LOVE*
When my baby #2 was born my husband was in an accident at work (struck by a forklift) and wow- what a wake-up call that life is SHORT and he could have literally been killed that day.
Thank God he wasn't and I still have my awesome husband =o)0 -
single anyday. maybe i'm a selfish *****, but i never understood the draw of havng to share your life with someone. sex, sure, snuggles ok, cleaning up after them, cooking for them, putting up with thei annoying friends and basically being their servant, no thanks. companionship is nice, but not so nice that i would give up my independence.
Marriage does not mean giving up your independence. If you find the right guy you will not be his servant and doing things for him will be a pleasure and not a chore..... (head out of gutter). You will want to make him as happy as he makes you. And although annoying friends is always a risk, in general if you and your husband have similar personalities you will likely have similar tastes in friends.
I am a newly wed and I love being married. However, I was with my husband for 9 years before getting officially hitched and nothing has changed since the wedding. I can't imagine my life without him. He makes me a stronger, happier, more confident and all around better person. Yeah LOVE! 0 -
I am just going to say I HATE :mad: being single and having to do everything on my own and not having someone to help with lifes little mishaps I was married to my first husband for 13 years and we divorced cause of his alcholism and i went and married another alcholic and i divorced him. and now i have been single for 4 years and I HATE :explode: I repeat HATE:explode: being single too many games and the dating world stinks I want one man and one only!!!!!0
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Got a hot date tonight with my girlfriend & my wife. It's been the same one and only great gal for 25 years. I wouldn't want it any other way for myself. For me, marriage is definitely worth any of the headaches or heartaches that come passing thru.
One vote for marriage.
I LOVE this...
:flowerforyou:0 -
Well, I was absolutely crazy about my husband until we had our son and he left me at the hospital when our son was in the NICU. We were an hour and a half away. He just went home and left me to deal with postnatal "issues" :blushing: and the fact that our son was in the NICU and I couldn't hold him very often or anything. I had no family around at ALL. It was humiliating and the most terrible thing I've ever gone through. I loved seeing my son all day every day, but it would have been nice if my husband wasn't gone.
His reason: He had a show to play that weekend. :explode: :explode: It would have made sense, but he left on Wednesday. :huh:
I obviously haven't QUITE gotten over that whole thing yet.
I also really liked him until we spent our honeymoon at a show of his. Because the show was booked before our wedding. Riiiiiight.
Oh, by the way, these two things happened within the same month. It was the worst month of my life.
So I guess I would love to be married (even to him!) as long as things had gone differently. We would have been a lot happier if he wasn't such a *kitten*. But at this point, I would like to be single with my son.0 -
Got a hot date tonight with my girlfriend & my wife. It's been the same one and only great gal for 25 years. I wouldn't want it any other way for myself. For me, marriage is definitely worth any of the headaches or heartaches that come passing thru.
One vote for marriage.
I LOVE this...
:flowerforyou:
me too that is what I want sooooo bad0 -
Got a hot date tonight with my girlfriend & my wife. It's been the same one and only great gal for 25 years. I wouldn't want it any other way for myself. For me, marriage is definitely worth any of the headaches or heartaches that come passing thru.
One vote for marriage.
I LOVE this...
:flowerforyou:
me too that is what I want sooooo bad
You WILL have this in your life!
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
I am just going to say I HATE :mad: being single and having to do everything on my own and not having someone to help with lifes little mishaps I was married to my first husband for 13 years and we divorced cause of his alcholism and i went and married another alcholic and i divorced him. and now i have been single for 4 years and I HATE :explode: I repeat HATE:explode: being single too many games and the dating world stinks I want one man and one only!!!!!
Aw, I hope you find Mr.Right SOON!!
Someone that compliments your personality and shares your interests =o)
It can be hard to find that Mr.Right...
I kissed a LOT of frogs first LOL
:grumble:0 -
I am just going to say I HATE :mad: being single and having to do everything on my own and not having someone to help with lifes little mishaps I was married to my first husband for 13 years and we divorced cause of his alcholism and i went and married another alcholic and i divorced him. and now i have been single for 4 years and I HATE :explode: I repeat HATE:explode: being single too many games and the dating world stinks I want one man and one only!!!!!
Aw, I hope you find Mr.Right SOON!!
Someone that compliments your personality and shares your interests =o)
It can be hard to find that Mr.Right...
I kissed a LOT of frogs first LOL
:grumble:
I have kissed so many FROGS that I should be covered in WARTS lol:laugh: :laugh:0 -
I vote for marriage (with or without the legally binding piece of paper). My husband and I have been married for almost 24 years now and through the good, the bad, and the ugly times I have never regretted marrying him. 0
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I am just going to say I HATE :mad: being single and having to do everything on my own and not having someone to help with lifes little mishaps I was married to my first husband for 13 years and we divorced cause of his alcholism and i went and married another alcholic and i divorced him. and now i have been single for 4 years and I HATE :explode: I repeat HATE:explode: being single too many games and the dating world stinks I want one man and one only!!!!!
Aw, I hope you find Mr.Right SOON!!
Someone that compliments your personality and shares your interests =o)
It can be hard to find that Mr.Right...
I kissed a LOT of frogs first LOL
:grumble:
I have kissed so many FROGS that I should be covered in WARTS lol:laugh: :laugh:
hahha lol :laugh:
You gotta try a few more 0 -
single anyday. maybe i'm a selfish *****, but i never understood the draw of havng to share your life with someone. sex, sure, snuggles ok, cleaning up after them, cooking for them, putting up with thei annoying friends and basically being their servant, no thanks. companionship is nice, but not so nice that i would give up my independence.
Ya, I wouldn't have married that man either!!! EEEK!!!!
Not all men are obnoxious! My husband is great at the snuggles, he isn't a pig, he cooks great (worked in a meat department when we were in school), we have the same friends, and serve??? We serve each other evenly...Hokay, he spoils me! He listens to my crazy talk, he is a great Dad, a fantabulous military guy. He's a goof sometimes, but perfect for me!
My husband was diagnosed with cancer the day my daughter was born. I almost lost him 6 years ago. What a wake up call. We have had tough years, but we have worked through the sick days and here we are! He makes coffee for me in the AM and even rubs my feet to wake me up! Anyway...
Not all men are a mess.
wow i loved this thread !!! so intersting to hear everybody's love stories,, i've been aawwwing and oowwing for the last 5 min
and i agree with the above post !!
my bf is the most thoughfull person, if we are watching tv and he gets up for something in the kitchen, he'll always ask me if i want something, i dont think he missed one occasion of forgiving himself over my happyness. he's truely the most generous person i know. i have to pick up after him sometimes,, but so does he after me.. when i was working .. he made my lunches that i found in the fridge every morning.. he gives the most thoughfull cuddles ... we dont always agree on everything (i want kids, he's not so hot with the idea...but maybe one day, hes change his mind before) but we understans each other.
i vote for togetherness (we are not married and not planning too, but nothing against)
hooo but i miss the flirting, love to go out and have someone hitting on me :blushing:
thats just brushes my ego to right way and makes me feel good, i still go out with friends and get flirted with, i go along with the dancing and talking but i would never touch ....
hoooo but i had all the fun back in the singles day :laugh:
may0
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